Kwaye kumaxesha amandulo, izazifilosofi kunye nabantu abazizilumko bacatshulwa ngesihloko semfazwe neengxabano. Kutheni abantu bexabana, balwa, babonisa ubundlobongela kwimbali yabantu, abanomdla malunga nomntu wonke. Namhlanje ezi ngxaki zifundwa, kwaye iingqondo zabo zentlalo ziqwalaselwa. Lo mbandela ngowona obaluleke kakhulu kule shishini. Akusiyo imfihlo kunoma ubani ukuba abantu badibanise ngamaqela, baxubane nabanye, okubandakanya ukuba balwa kunye, ukuxabana, kunye nokuziphatha ngezinye iinkqubo kwaye bahamba ngaphaya kwemigangatho. Akumangalisi ukuba imbambano yongquzulwano inxulumene neemvakalelo ezimbi. Kukho nembono yokuba kufuneka ihlale igwenywa. Kodwa ngaba kunjalo? Ukwenza oku, qwalasela imbambano yokuxabana, ukungquzulana, kunye nemisebenzi yabo emibi kunye nemisebenzi emihle.
Kwiengqondo, ukungquzulana kukubambisana ngokuchaseneyo, ukunyaniseka okungahambelaniyo, isicatshulwa esisodwa ekuqapheliseni, kwiintsebenziswano phakathi kwabantu okanye iintsebenziswano phakathi kwabantu okanye amaqela abantu, abachaphazelekayo ngamava angamava. Iimbambano zidala ukuxabana, izizathu zokuba zininzi. Kubonakala ngathi abantu baxabana ngezihlwele, ngamanye amaxesha kukho izizathu ezibalulekileyo. Sivakala ukuba ukuxabana kungajika ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo: ezinye zilungile, abanye banokuxabana nabo bonke ubomi babo. Ukuze siqonde ukuba kutheni abantu bexabana, kutheni bahlala belwa rhoqo rhoqo, siya kuqwalasela ezinye zeempawu ezivela ebomini, kwaye ngoku siza kufikelela kwisigqibo malunga neengxabano ezinjalo.
Umzekelo: intombazana idibana nomfana wakhe. Bahamba ecaleni, uzonqabisa, umomothekayo, ekhangeleka kwindawo ethile, ebambe isandla kwaye ehamba, ngokucacileyo, ecinga ngento ethile. Unesimo esibi, unenkxalabo yokuba ucinga ukuba akanandaba naye. Kwaye namhlanje akayi kukhululeka kakhulu, akakhange abhekise kuye, nangona sele ehlanganiselwe ukuba amncoma. Kwaye ubonakala ephupha into ethile ngokubanzi. Njani, ngenxa yokuba ukhona, unokuba njani umncinci kangako? Kwaye ke uyaxinwa kwaye akakwazi ukuma kwakhona, ukumphonsa ibinzana: "Awunandaba nam nonke," uphenduka uhambe. Umntu ophazamisayo, akayiqondi into eyenzekayo, into enetyala phambi kwakhe. Uqala ukukrazula, ukwenza amabango, ukucinga ngento ethile. Uqala ukumemeza. Baxabana. Uyasabela ngokukhawuleza aze ashiye.
Ngoku masihlalutye le meko. Ziziphi izibangela zokuxabana apha? Le ntombazana yayilungiselela ngenxa yokungabikho kwengqalelo, ekhona ekhona apho. Bayamangalela umntu onobubele obunzulu kwaye ufuna ukunyamekela. Isizathu esona sizathu sokuba le mbhangqwana ixabane nokungabikho kokuqonda, yenye yezona zizathu eziqhelekileyo. Enyanisweni, lo mfana ungumntu ozolileyo, kodwa intombazana ayimqondi kwaye imangalela ukungakhathaleli. Ingxabano enjalo ayinakukhokelela kuyo nayiphi na into entle, kodwa ukuze uyisombulule, kufuneka nje uqondisise kwaye uyamkele i-psychology yomnye umntu, kwaye ungasigxina into esinokuyicinga ngayo.
Maxa wambi amaqabane aqhuba intetho, ukukhusela iminqweno kunye neempawu zabo. Ngokuqhelekileyo loo ngxoxo ingabangela ingxabano xa wonke umntu eqala ukuzwakalisa iingqondo zabo, njl. Incoko-ngxoxo ingakhula ibe yimpikiswano yehlabathi, imbambano apho nganye iinkokheli zilwa, zikhusela iimfuno zazo. Akukho mntu ufuna ukuyeka isikhundla sakhe, ngamnye umntu ufuna ukuguqula ingqondo yakhe kwaye aphumelele, nangona kaninzi oku akunakwenzeka. Iimbono zomnye umntu zibonakala ngathi ziphosakeleyo, kwaye siqala ngokuzama ukuzama "ukulungisa impazamo." Esinye isizathu esivakalayo sokuba abantu baxabane neembono ezahlukeneyo kunye nemilinganiselo. Impazamo yabo kukuba abanako ukumkela umbono womnye umntu ngaphandle kokuqonda ukuba sonke sihluke, kwaye wonke umntu unelungelo lokujonga. Ukuba ukuxabana kwenzeka kumntu othandekayo, ngoko kufuneka siqonde ukuba kufuneka simkele njengoko kunjalo, akunjalo asiyithandi, kodwa into engafaniyo yokuba siyidala ngayo? Ukuba asikwazi ukuwamkela iinjongo kunye nembono, mhlawumbi akuyena mntu esiyidingayo?
Abantu balwa kunye ngezizathu ezahlukileyo, lo mkhwa awuphepheki. Ngoko ke, akudingeki sifunde ukuphepha iingxabano kunye neengxabano, kwaye zilungele zonke - zikwazi ukuzisombulula. Enyanisweni, oku kubaluleke kakhulu nokusebenza nzima. Sifunda ukulungisa iingxaki ezifanayo kulo lonke ubomi. Yintoni efunekayo ukuze unqobe ukuxabana? Yintoni esifanele siyifunde, kwaye yintoni imigaqo yale nto? Okokuqala: funda ukulawula iimvakalelo zakho. Kukho amaxesha apho basithintela kwaye kunomnqweno wokuphosa yonke into embi kumdlali - ngamnye umntu uxabana nokulwa. Kubalulekile ukuba uyeke kwizinto ezinjalo. Xa ingxabano ivuthwa ngenxa yokungaqondi kakuhle, isizathu asiqhelekanga ukuba iqabane alifuni ukusiphulaphula, kodwa ukuba uyayibona le meko eyahlukileyo. Ukuthetha rhoqo rhoqo, ncokola ngokucacileyo ngeminqweno yakho. Njengesisombululo-khangela ukuphazamiseka, cinga ngombono womnye umntu, kungakhathaliseki ukuba kunzima kangakanani.
Siyazibuza ukuba kutheni abantu bexabana, bakhuphisana baze balwe. Le miba yobudlelwane esazungezile, sihlala sijamelana neengxabano, baye baba yingxenye ebomini bethu. Kubalulekile ukuba bangayiqondi izizathu zabo eziqhelekileyo, kodwa banokukwazi ukusebenzisana ngokuchanekileyo. Omnye umele akhumbule ukuba kubaluleke kangakanani ukuzilawula nokuphulaphula umbono womnye umntu, ukusebenzisana naye, ukufuna ukulungelelanisa nokukwazi ukuhlalutya imeko, ubomi buya kuba lula, kunye nobudlelwane obumnandi, kuba le nto ibalulekileyo ekuphumeleleni.