Iingcali zengqondo zigxininisa ukuba ezininzi iingxabano neemvakalelo eziphazamisayo ezivela phakathi kwendoda nomfazi zibangelwa ukuba abazange bafundisane kakuhle. Ukongezelela, kuqinisekiswe ukuba ukuhambelana kwengqondo kwabatshatileyo kuxhomekeke, okokuqala, ngokungqinelana kwemibono yabo yamalungelo kunye nemisebenzi yabo bonke abalingani beentsapho. Kwisifundo esithile, i-100 yahlukanisa kunye ne-100 imibhangqwana esatshatileyo yaxoxwa ngazo ngolu hlobo. Ukuchasana okucacileyo kuye kwabonakala. Ababini abaye bakwazi ukugcina umtshato babonisa ipesenti enkulu yokufaniswa ekuqondeni iimbopheleleko zentsapho xa kuthelekiswa nezo zidibeneyo. Ngenxa yoko isigqibo: ukuba abantu abaselula bayakwazi ukwakha iintsapho ezinamandla, ezihambelanayo, kufuneka kuthathelwe ingqalelo ukuqinisekisa ukuba bafumana izimvo ezifanelekileyo malunga neentlalo zentlalo esahlukileyo, ngokwahlukileyo kwengqondo phakathi kwamadoda nabasetyhini.
Kuyaziwa ukuba abafazi banesisindo, baninzi ngakumbi, bakha isimo sengqondo kwintsapho, baninzi bakhonywa kwintsapho ekufuneni ukhuseleko kunye nobulungisa. Ngobudlelwane nabantwana, uninzi lwabafazi banesimo "sokusombulula". Abafazi, njengomthetho, ngabaqalayo bonke utshintsho kwintsapho, nokuba ithetha ukuthengwa ngokutsha, ifomathi yokulungiswa kwempahla, iindwendwe zokuphumla, njl njl. Hayi, ngaba besetyhini abasoloko bebaqalile ukuqhawula umtshato ... Indoda eyayisesikhathini esidlulileyo yayingumcebisi. Amadoda ayagcinwa kakhulu kwiimvakalelo kwaye avaliwe ngabantu abafuywayo ngokwemiqathango yegosa kunye nezinye iingxaki. Ebudlelwaneni nabantwana, ngokuqhelekileyo bathabatha indawo "engavumelekanga" (imithintelo) ngokumelene nomfazi wabo. Ukubonakaliswa kwindlela yokubhikisha, ukuphazamiseka ekuphenduleni iingcamango ezintsha zomfazi wakhe. Okuqhelekileyo! Zizinto ezithandanayo, ezitshatileyo kunye nokwamkela. Nangona kunjalo, ngenxa yale mibono ephikisanayo abaninzi banokwakheka ukuxabana.
Umyeni uthi: "Ndiyintloko," kunye nomfazi: "Ndiyintamo." Naphi na ndiyifunayo, kukho intloko kwaye ndijika. " Kulo mzekeliso omdala intsingiselo ebanzi yobugcisa bokubambisana ngokubambisana kwesibini esitshatileyo kugqitywa, xa umfazi ebona ubukhulu bendoda, kodwa ngexesha elifanayo, ngokungaqondi, ngaphandle kokuphazamisa indima yakhe kwintsapho, ngaphandle kokuthoba isithunzi sakhe, uqondisa kwisisombululo esifanelekileyo nesisisombululo semicimbi yentsapho.
Ukulingana koqoqosho lwabesilisa nabasetyhini kukhokelela ekugqibeleni ngokubaluleka kweendima zabo zentlalo kuluntu. Abasetyhini baphumelela ngempumelelo ishishini elibi, benze umsebenzi kwezopolitiko, kwimveliso, baqhube iimoto, baqaphele ubugcisa obuye babecingwa njengabantu besilisa (emkhosini, kumapolisa, njl.). Amadoda ngokugqithiseleyo athatha i-female kuphela (kuluntu lwethu) niche (professional trade, catering, services). Akukho nto embi apha, ngaphandle kweyodwa into: iimbono zendabuko malunga nokungafani kwendima phakathi kwendoda kunye nomfazi njengokuba abatshatileyo bephula. Kwaye oku, ngokubhekiselele kwimbono yeengqondo zeengqondo, namhlanje iba enye yezona zinto zikhokelela kwimpikiswano kunye nokungavumelani kwiintsapho. Iimpawu zitshintshile, kwaye iindima zihlala zifana: umfazi ungumfazi, unina, umgcini we-hearth, "generator" yesimo sengqondo, isimo sengqondo esisendlwini. Indoda ingumlingane, isondlo, umkhuseli, utata ... Omnye umfazi ophawuleza uyaphawula intsingiselo yegama elithi "utshatile": "Ndifuna ukuba ngumyeni wam nje, ukuba ndivelele phambi komva wakhe."
Iingxabano kwiintsapho zivame ukuphakama ngenxa yokuba abafazi abaqondi, abawamukeli into yokuba ngamnye wabo kwimpilo yemihla ngemihla kufuneka azalise ezinye iindima ezibalulekileyo zentlalo ebalulekileyo kubo. Ngamnye wabo yindodana / intombi yabazali abakhulileyo, umzalwana / udade, umtshana / umntakwabo wezilwane, kungekhona yonke into enokuba mnandi kuwe. Kwaye kunye nezobugcisa, iinkonzo zoluntu, kunye neendima zomhlobo / ummelwane, i-cadet yesikolo sokuqhuba okanye izifundo zeelwimi zangaphandle, umsebenzisi we-intanethi, uhambo oluqhelekileyo lwamafashini, intsebenziswano yegaraji, ii-dominoes egcekeni, umzingeli-mzingeli, njl. kunye nezinye. Kwintsapho eqinile, ehambelanayo, nganye inommandla wayo, kwaye ukungafihli kwayo kuyamkelwa kwaye iyahlonishwa. Wonke umntu, ngaphandle koxanduva lweentsapho, unesabelo esithandanayo senkululeko yokuphumla kwakhe okuthandayo, ukuzakhela. Kubi xa omnye wabafazi okanye bobabini beqinisekile ukuba "esinye isiqingatha" kufuneka sibe ngumfanekiso wesibuko sabangane bokuqala, izinto ezithandwayo, izinto ezithandwayo, ukungathandwa ziphela nje. Yiyo kanye indlela ukuxabana okuvela ngayo phakathi kwabatshatileyo.
Inkalo ebalulekileyo yeentlalontle zentsapho, ekufuneka ithathelwe ingqalelo ngenxa yokufezekisa ukuhambelana kwengqondo, ngumnqweno womntu ngamnye umfazi ukuqinisekisile. Ngamnye wethu ugcina inqanaba eliqhelekileyo lokuzithemba kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo aphendule kakubi kwiimvavanyo zabanye zokunciphisa. Enyanisweni, bonke ubudlelwane babantu bubudlelwane bokuhlolwa rhoqo. Wonke umntu uyakhumbula indlela enomdla ngayo ukuqaphela uluntu kwimpumelelo yethu yomsebenzi kunye nokuba ubuhlungu ngokwenene okanye ukungathandabuzeki kwengqondo kubonwa. Kodwa ngokuqhelekileyo sikhohlwa ukuba ubudlelwane beentra-bentsapho badinga ubulungisa kunye nobuchule.
Eyona nto inzima ukunyanzelwa kobunzima babo kunye nobunzima bomsebenzi wesikolo ngabafazi. "Ndinika amandla amaninzi kwinyaniso yokuba indlu yayinobuhle kwaye inhle, kwaye indoda yafika-kwaye ayizange ibone." "Ndizama ukupheka ngendlela elula kakhulu, kwaye intsapho kwaye" ndiyabulela "andiyi kuthi ..." Amadoda nako kufuneka abe ngamehlo abo banqabileyo, banesibindi, banesibindi. Kuthiwani ngokuphila kwansuku zonke? Asiboni izinto ezintle, siyazibonga. Kodwa nayiphina impazamo, impazamo ayiyi kuphindwa! Kwaye into ebangel 'umdla: omnye wabatshatileyo unokuhlala ngokukhawuleza athathe ukugxekwa kwidilesi yakhe, kodwa ngokukhawuleza "aqhubekile" athile ngenye indlela engenakunceda. Ngokwenene, oku kwenzekayo xa iintolo ezibangelwa ngendlala zihlasela "iphuzu elibuhlungu". Mhlawumbi wachukumisa lo mdlalo wokunganeliseki kwakhe ngokuzimeleyo, apho umntu oyikayo ukunyuka, ngokuzikhusela ngokuzikhusela kwiimvakalelo zengqondo, ukuzisola, isidingo sokwenza into ephambili. Ngokuqhelekileyo, kuphawulwe: abaninzi abantu basabela ngokukhawuleza ngokugxeka. Apho ibuhlungu buya kuqonda kakuhle. Kwaye umlingane onokumamela, okanye oqabane naye uya kuzikhawuleza kwaye uzame ukugwema ukuhamba "kwi-callus yegciwane", kwaye ukuba iimeko zinyanzelisa, kuya kukwenza ngobuchule kwaye kungenabuhlungu, njengogqirha onamava.
Inyaniso ukuba umfazi okhaliphile uyazi kakuhle umyeni wakhe kunokuba uyazi. Oku kungabonwa ngumntu onobuchule, onengqiqo, onomdla. Ukuba abafazi abazami ukuzazana ngokubanzi, ukuhlala ecaleni kwiminyaka emininzi, ukunganeliseki ngokukhawuleza kuqokelelwa, ukuziva ukupholisa - akukude nokukhohlisa nokuqhawula umtshato. Ngokuqhelekileyo uzibuza: "Wathini na kule ntokazi? Umfazi wakhe uhle kakhulu." Yaye yafumanisa into eyayilahlekile kwintsapho.
Umbuzo uvela: yintoni na, nonke ixesha, nceda nisane kunye "niphatha ubomi"? Umbuzo ubaluleke kakhulu. Kufuneka sihlolisane ngokufanelekileyo. Dumisani ngokunyanisekileyo. Ukugxeka loo nto, oko kukuthi, ngaphandle kokunika iimvavanyo eziqhelekileyo kunye neempawu kumntu, kwaye ngokuvavanya izenzo zakhe ezithile, izenzo, amagama angabangela ukungavumelani kuwe, ukunganeliseki. Ngelishwa, ngokuqhelekileyo kuthethwa ngokuthe ngqo. Umfazi wayengenalo ixesha lokubeka umyeni wakhe etafileni, njengoko indoda yakhe ikhawuleza ukummangalela: "Umntu onobuqili, intlama!" Emva koko uyayiphendula athi: "Muzhlan, uhlambalazi, unobuncwane!" , zihlala zibonwa njengento yokuthuka kumntu. Oku kukugxeka, akukhuthazi ukuba umntu abe ngcono. Oku kunokwenzeka ukuba, kuya kubangela enye ingxabano ngaphezulu kwezinto ezimbi-ukuphendula ngokufuthekayo (kwaye ke ungadlulanga isikhalazo esikhulu) okanye amaqhinga okukhusela (iinyembezi, i-validol, ukuthula okungapheliyo - izinto ezingapheliyo).
Amaqabane akakwazi ukungahoywa into yokuba abanokuba nezimo ezahlukeneyo. Wonke umntu uyazi malunga nalokhu: kukho i-choleric, i-sanguine, i-phlegmatic, i-melancholic. Yaye nangona iingubo "ezicocekileyo" azifumaneki, ngokuqhelekileyo umntu unempawu zentlobo ezahlukileyo, kodwa iipropati zengqondo ezisisiseko ziyaqhubeka. Isimiselo ngeendlela ezininzi sinquma iimpawu zoluntu oluqhagamshelwano nabantu abakujikelezile. Ngokomzekelo, abantu be-sanguine baqhagamshelana ngokulula, banolwazi, banokwenza abantu abaqhelana nabo ngokulula, kunye nabantu abathandekayo, ngokuchaseneyo, bamise oonxibelelwano ngokukhawuleza, bakhethe imvelo yabahlobo bamandulo nabaqhelana nabo. Kufuneka ukhunjulwe ukuba ngaphezu kweempawu, zikhona iimpawu zobuntu. Umntu omhle okanye ongendawo, onobubele okanye onokunyaniseka unokufumana nayiphi na ingqondo. Nangona abantu abaneempawu ezihlukeneyo, ezi zinto ziza kubonakala ngezindlela ezahlukeneyo.
Ukucinga malunga nokusebenza kwengqondo kwintsapho, ungalibali malunga nomxholo onjengothando. Abantu abaselula bayothi: "Ewe, le nto ibaluleke kakhulu kwintsapho yolonwabo!" Omdala sele esazi ukuba le mvakalelo enhle ayithembekanga ngokupheleleyo. Uthando luye lwaba phezulu kwaye luyehla, kunye neminyaka lungaba lukhulu. Ukutshisa okufudumele kunika indlela efudumeleyo, enobubele, enononophelo, enokunyamekela, enemvakalelo engavumelekanga abantu ukuba baxabane. Okanye ... Ezi "okanye" ezihlukahlukeneyo. Kodwa kusekhona ngothando. Iingcali zengqondo ziyabona ukuba xa abatshatileyo behlala ngothando, banokuvumelana ngokuvisisana kwengqondo, abangenayo nayiphi na impazamo yomnye nomnye - le nto yinto ebonakalayo, ebonakala ngokucacileyo ngobulumko bomi: "Uthando luyimfama." Ngoko ke, kwicandelo labantu abatsha abangena emtshatweni, badla ngokuthi: "Icebo eliyithandayo!" Kodwa kwindawo yokuqala yile ngcebiso!