Mhlawumbi, ukuze ube ngumzali omhle, kufuneka ufunde oko kuqala? Saqala, umzekelo, silungiselele oomama kunye nabazali ngokuzala. Nangona kunjalo, ngokukhawuleza ukuba uphendule imibuzo ephathelele kwimpilo yomntwana, unokufumana enye imibuzo, eyinkimbinkimbi, apho ungayifumani msinya impendulo:
"Ngaba ndenza konke okulungileyo?","Andiyi kumnceda kakhulu?",
"Kwenzeka njani oku kuchazwa umntwana?",
"Ngaba ndimele ndiyenze konke?".
Yonke le mibuzo iyimvelo. Ngokuqhelekileyo awanxulumene nomnqweno wakho wokuzibandakanya kwindima yomama, kodwa kubangelwa ngumnqweno oqhelekileyo wokunceda umntwana ekuphuhlisweni kwakhe nokungazi kakuhle indlela engcono yokuyenza.
Inyaniso engathandekiyo
Ngelishwa, amabhunga ephela jikelele ayakho. Into enhle kumntwana omnye ingalimaza kwenye. Oko kusebenza kakuhle kubazali abathile akusebenzi kwabanye. Inyaniso eyona yodwa engabikhoyoyiyo kukuba wena nomntwana wakho niphila abantu abakwazi ukubonana nokuvalelana, bavakalelwa, bafezekanga, baxolele, baxolele, into ekutshintshisayo kuwe kunye nawe.
Umcebisi omhle
Kodwa unokunyamekela njani umntwana? Okokuqala, kuyafaneleka ukuba ndizitsho kum ukuba umama ongcono kunaloo nto umntwana ayenayo, kuba inento ebalulekileyo: kukuxhamla nale ntsana kunye nomnqweno wokunyamekela. Ngokuqinisekileyo, akubona wonke umntu onokuqonda ngokukhawuleza indlela yokusebenza ngayo, kodwa ngamnye umzali kunye nomntwana ngamnye uya kukwazi ukuzilungisa ngokuthe ngqo. Emva kwakho konke, inkunzi nayo inomdla kakhulu ukuva nokuqonda! Ngoko ulwalamano lwakho nendodana okanye intombi yakho ngumcebisi olungcono. Ukuba ekunxibelelaneni nabo awuzami ukuhlala kwinqanaba lomntu "omdala" lomqondo, kodwa ulungele ukuthetha ngolwimi lwabo lweemvakalelo kunye nomzimba, abantwana ngokwabo baya kukhuthaza indlela engcono yokuyinyamekela ngayo. Ukuba uthemba ulwalamano lwakho kwaye uthembele kuzo, ngoko akudingeki ukuba uchithe eduze kwebhokhwe lonke ixesha, ngaphandle kokuthatha amehlo akhe kuye. Umntwana ngokwakhe uya kuzisa xa ekufunayo, kwaye xa ekulungele ukuhamba. Kuphela kufuneka unikezele iimfuno zakhe kwaye, ukuba kukho into ehamba kakuhle, ukukhathazeka kozali bakho kungcono kunokuba nawuphi na ongaphandle kwindlebe uya kukunika ingqalelo, phawula, uthathe amanyathelo afanelekileyo.
Musa ukoyika iimpazamo!
Ukuba ulungele ukuqonda ukungafezeki kwakho, kuya kuba lula kuwe ukuvumela umntwana ukuba aziqonde. Kulo mzekelo akayi kuyika ukugwetywa okanye ukugatywa kwaye uya kufunda ukuthetha ngaye ngokwakhe nangento angayithandiyo kunye nokokukhathazayo. Ngoko kuya kuba lula kuwe ukumnceda ukuba asinde into engenakuguqulwa, kwaye ikufundise indlela yokusingatha iminqweno yakho engafanelekanga kwindlela engonakalisi nabani na. Ingane yakho, njengawe, iya kuphelelwa yimpazamo, ihlazo, ukuzisola. Ngeke kubekho enye indlela yokuba akhule. Nangona kunjalo, ngamandla akho ukuqinisekisa ukuba ulwalamano lwakho lufanelekile ukulondoloza, kwaye inkwenkwe iyaqonda intsingiselo yokwenene yemimiselo oyifaka kuyo.