Abakwazi ukuqonda ukuba kutheni abazali babo beyingxenye, kwaye kutheni ubaba wabo othandekayo abanako ukujikeleza imihla ngemihla, njengangaphambili.
Kodwa, yabona, iziphepho ezihamba kunye nenkqubo yokuqhawula umtshato ziye zanciphisa, kwaye umbuzo uvela malunga nendlela "upapa" oza kuthetha ngayo nabantwana. Ngelishwa, akubona bonke abapapa emva kokushiya intsapho rhoqo batyelela abantwana babo kwaye bathathe inxaxheba kwimpilo yabo. Masiqaphele ukuba kutheni emva kokuqhawula umtshato, isimo sengqondo sikayise malunga nokutshintsha komntwana.
Indima ebalulekileyo idlalwe yinyaniso yokushintsha iimbopheleleko: ngelixa intsapho yintsapho, uxanduva lwabantwana (luxanduva, kunokuba lube ngumsebenzi wenkqubo) lwahlula kwisiqingatha phakathi kwabazali. Kwimeko apho umntu ehlukaniswe nentsapho yakhe (emva koko, abantwana baseRashiya bahlala kunye nonina wama-95% ngexesha), ngokuqhelekileyo uyazikhulula kwiinkalo ezininzi zobuncwane. Ngokuqhelekileyo, abayeni basemagunyeni baqikelela ukuba, nangona kunjalo, abanako ukuthatha inxaxheba ngokupheleleyo kwimpilo yabantwana, ngenxa yokuba Musa ukuhlala nabo phantsi kophahla olulodwa. Enyanisweni, umntu ofanayo usebenzisa le meko ukuzonwabisa inkululeko ye-bachelor. Ukusuka kwisebe yentsapho, yena, njengokuba kunjalo, uba ngumzalwana osekhulile, "owabaleka waza wabaleka kwisihlaku somzali." Uthando lwabantwana lubonisa ukuba umzali ufuna ukubona indlela abakhula ngayo kwaye bathatha inxaxheba ebomini babo. Kodwa kubonakala ukuba amadoda amaninzi athi 'asemva', abacinga ukuba kubaluleke kangakanani ukuhamba kwabo kwimihla ngemihla yabantwana, kuba abantwana bakhula ngokukhawuleza.
Kufuneka kuqatshelwe ukuba kumazwe aseYurophu - umfanekiso ohluke ngokupheleleyo. Ootata babandakanyeka kakhulu ebomini babantwana kwaye, ngokuqhawula, baqhubeka bephethe uxanduva lweintsana kunye noomama: bachitha ixesha elininzi kunye nabantwana babo njengoomama. Abantwana baya kwiintlanganiso zabazali esikolweni, bahambe nezingane xa beya kwiiklasi zemidlalo, njl. Ngokungafani neYurophu, kwisithethe sethu sesizwe, sibheka yonke inkqubo yekhaya, kuquka nokunyamekelwa kwabantwana - "ishishini labasetyhini."
Ukongezelela, eRashiya, njengomthetho, abafazi abaqhawule umtshato abakuboni ukuba kuyimfuneko ukudibanisa kunye nokuxazulula ngokubambisana imiba enxulumene nabantwana. Ngokuqhelekileyo sibona umfanekiso ochaseneyo: endaweni yokubambisana, abazali babonisa ukungathandi omnye komnye kunye nokucaphukisa abachasi - "beka iintonga kwivili." Umzekelo, imeko apho omnye wabazali engasayine imvume yokushiya umntwana kunye nomnye ukuphumla.
Izizathu zokuba, emva kokuqhawula umtshato, isimo sengqondo sikayise ngomntwana sinokuxhomekeka kwizinto ezininzi:
- Amava kabawo kwintsapho yabazali, ukukhuliswa. Ukuba umntu wakhulela kwintsapho apho uyise ethatha inxaxheba ekhuselekileyo ekukhuliseni nasekunyamekeleni abantwana: wahlamba abantwana, wabondla i-porridge, wavelisa - wathatha le ndlela yokuziphatha. Kwaye, unomdla obuninzi, uxanduva lwabantwana bakhe, xa kuthelekiswa noobawo, abanamava emndenini womzali awazange akhuthaze.
- "Ukukhula kobuntu" bamadoda: malingakanani umntu olungele ukuthatha uxanduva malunga noko kwenzekayo ebomini bakhe, ngoko ke ngenxa yobomi babantwana bakhe. Ngelishwa, abanye oomama banomdla kakhulu othandweni lwabo kubantwana babo ukuba bakulungele ukuthatha izigqibo ezibalulekileyo kubo kude kube yiminyaka yobudala kunye nokulinda ngenzondelelo nayiphi na into engeyiyo. Ngenxa yoko-umntu omdala, ngokwepasipoti, indoda, uhlala, eqinisweni, ngumntwana ongobubele. Akakulungele ukuphendula ngenxa yezenzo zakhe, ukhetha ukufihla nokugxeka zonke iingxaki zomfazi wakhe wangaphambili.
- Ukulungelelanisa kwabatshatileyo ukuba babambisane ngokubhekiselele kubantwana. Kubalulekile kubazali abaqhawule umtshato ukuba bayeke ukwabelana ngamabango athile ukuze bazuze umntwana. Ngokukhawuleza xa umntwana eyeka ukuba yisixhobo sokubuyiselwa kwindoda yakhe yangaphambili (umfazi), kodwa ubuyela kwimeko yentsana ethandekayo - umgangatho wobomi bakhe uphakama ngokukhawuleza. Ukuba ngaba abazali banokuqonda ukuba kufuneka bahlale behlangene kwimicimbi enxulumene nabantwana abaqhelekileyo-ukufumana ulwimi oluqhelekileyo akunzima kakhulu.
- Ukuthatha inxaxheba engakanani kwimpilo yomntwana indoda eyithathileyo ngaphambi komtshato. "Yintoni esiyithandekayo, siyithandayo kakhulu", "Asiyithandi abo basenzela thina, kodwa abo-thina" - ngala magama kukho enye yezitshixo ekuthandweni kobuntu ngokubanzi, kunye neengcamango zothando lukabawo - ngakumbi. Ukuba uyise ngaphambi kokuqhawula umtshato wabona umntwana wakhe ngeentsuku zeveki imizuzu emininzi ngemini - ngaphambi kokuba alele embhedeni, kwaye, ngeveki wayekhetha ukuthetha nabantwana i-TV ebekiwe - ke, akumangalisi ukuba xa ushiya intsapho, ayiyi kuba yintlekele ukuphelisa ukunxibelelana nabantwana. Ngokuchaseneyo, kumntu ongazange alale ubusuku kunye nonina, ukugubha isisu esasikhona kwisinyathelo sokuqala sentsana kwaye wavuthela okokuqala ukuguqulwa kwamadolo akhe kwi-"treasure" yakhe ephambili - iyabuhlungu. Kwaye, ootata-uya kuqondisa yonke imizamo yakhe ukuqinisekisa ukuba uqhagamshelwano nomntwana aluphazamiseki.
- Indoda inentsapho entsha kunye nabantwana kwintsapho entsha. Kukholelwa ukuba umntu uthanda abantwana ngoxa unina abathanda. Kwaye-ngokuchaseneyo: ukuba umntu uyamthanda umfazi, uya kuthanda abantwana bakhe. Okokuthi, ukushiya intsapho entsha, ubaba, njengokuba kunjalo, ithatha indawo yakhe ngomntwana kunye nomnye, aze anelise iimvakalelo zakhe. Oku akunjalo. Ewe, ebomini kukho iimeko ezinzima. Kodwa, ngenhlanhla oku akusiyo umthetho. Nangona kunjalo, akunakuphikiswa ukuba, ngokuzalisekisa indima kayise ngokubhekiselele kubantwana abamkelweyo, indoda ayisoloko iyanelanisa ngempumelelo ukunyamekelwa "kweewadi" ezitsha kunye nokunyamekela abantwana bayo kwimitshato yangaphambili, edla ngokubangela ukucaphukisa uyise. Kwaye ngakumbi: impembelelo enkulu kwindlela uyise ekuqhawuleni umtshato uya kuthetha ngayo nabantwana bakhe, njengomthetho, unomfazi omtsha. Ngelishwa, amaninzi amabhinqa, ngenxa yezizathu zobugovu, okanye, ngenxa yokwesaba into yokuba umyeni angakwazi ukubuyela kumfazi wakhe wangaphambili, ngamandla akhe onke, angaphazamise ukuthetha kwakhe kunye nentsapho yakudala.
Nangona kunjalo kunzima ukuqhawula umtshato, kungakhathaliseki ukuba ulwahlula kangakanani phakathi kwalabo abatshatileyo ababengabonakaliyo, abantu abadala kufuneka bahlale bekhumbula abo bahlala kuwo umama noyise, abathintekayo, nangona emva kweminyaka embalwa, ukuba balinde umnxeba wabo emnyango.