Ngaba ufanele ubuyele kwintombi yangaphambili?

Ngamanye amaxesha igama libuya ngokungazelelwe ukuba asinaso ixesha lokuqonda nantoni na. Sifungela thina ukuba asifanele sibuyele kwizinto eziye. Kodwa xa izitonkqoza emnyango wethu, siyazama ukunyaniseka. Ngokukodwa xa kuvela uthando oluhambayo. Yaye uyazibuza, ukuba ubuyele kumntu owayekade naye?

Kutheni sicinga ngale mbuzo. Kutheni sizibuza yona: ngaba ndifanele ndibuyele kwintombi yangaphambili? Imibuzo enjalo ibonakala kuphela xa imvakalelo yeqabane lakho langaphambili lingekadluli. Emva kwakho konke, zicinge, asiyikucinga ukuba kufuneka sibuyele kwixesha langaphambili xa siziva sithukuthele kwaye sithukuthele. Okanye ungabi nantoni na.

Kodwa kwenzeka ntoni ngoko kwaye kutheni amantombazana eqala ukucinga ngomntu olwalamano lwakhe kunye nabo sele bephelile? Ziziphi izinto ezenzekayo? Ngokuqhelekileyo, yonke into iqala ngefowuni okanye intlanganiso yengozi. Ukuba ukuhlukana kwakuqhelekile, ngoko intombazana yangaphambili ayinayo imbi, kwaye ngoko ngokuqhelekileyo iyaqhagamshelana. Ewe, uqinisekile ukuba uyavalelwa lo mfana kuphela ngenxa yokuchitha ixesha elide. Kodwa, yonke into ingalunganga ngokupheleleyo. Ngokukodwa ukuba lowo owayengaphambili ufuna ukubuyisela. Kwiimeko ezinje, le ntsha iqala "ukwakha amabhuloho" ngokuthe ngcembe. Ukuba umntu unobulumko obaneleyo kunye nengcamango, wenza okungaqondakaliyo ukuba kubonakala kuwe ukuba waba ngabahlobo. Kodwa, enyanisweni, akufani njalo. Ixesha lidlula kwaye ucinga malunga nokuba kufuneka ubuyele kulo mntu.

Kule meko, ngaphambi kokuba wenze isigqibo, kufuneka uqikelele ubuqili kunye nobutyebi, khumbula yonke into uze wenze isigqibo sokuba ngaba ufuna ukubuyela. Musa ukukhawulela echibini kunye nentloko yakho kwaye ukholwe kuyo yonke into ayithethayo. Xa umntu ebeka iinjongo, wenza okuthile ukuze kufezwe. Kodwa kungekhona into yokuba ukuziphatha kwakhe akuyi kuguquka emva kokufumana kwakhe. Ngoko ke, ukuba uqale ngalo kulungile ukukhumbula ukuba kutheni unqabile. Izizathu zingaba zihluke kakhulu, zombini zinzima kwaye zingenanto. Ukuba waqhekeza ubudenge, mhlawumbi ngoku, xa yena kunye nawe uqaphela iimpazamo, ukhule kwaye ube nobulumko, ufanele ufune kwakhona. Ekugqibeleni, njengoko bethetha "umzamo awuyikuhlushwa." Kodwa kulungele ukwenza kuphela xa unenanto yokulahleka. Ukuba ungazivakalelwa ngokukodwa ngolu hlobo, ke akufanele ulahle into enzulu kwaye ethembekileyo kuye.

Ukuba isizathu sasinzima kakhulu, njengawo, umzekelo, ubuxoki, umona, ukucaphuka, ucinge, ngaba unokukuxolela kwaye uya kukukhumbuza njalo le nto? Ngenxa yokuba akunakwenzeka ukwakha ubudlelwane obutsha kwizikhalazo ezidlulileyo. Kwakhona kufuneka uqonde ukuba umfana wakho ulungisile. Nangona uziphatha ngokugqibeleleyo, ungakholelwa ngokungahambelani. Kuthatha ixesha kunye nokuqwalasela. Akuyimfuneko ukuphonsa kwimvakalelo endala ukusuka kwiiveki zokuqala zonxibelelwano. Zigcine ngesandla kwaye ubukele. Ukuba umfana ubeka imaski ukukubuyisela, mhlawumbi uya kufumana i-pang kwikamva elikufutshane, kodwa le mizuzu iya kuba yinto encinci kwaye kufuneka uqaphele ukuba uyibone. Ngaphambi kokuba uhlaziye ubuhlobo bakho nendoda, kufuneka uqiniseke ngokupheleleyo ukuba akayi kukulimaza, kwaye awuyi kuba yingxenye yesizathu esifanayo. Ukuba sele ulilibalekile, kungcono ukuba ungayi kuphinda uphinde uphinde ubandezeleke konke oku kunokukuzisa ulwalamano kunye nokwahlukana. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, kufuneka ucinge ngamakhulu amawaka ngaphambi kokubuya. Kukho abantu abafuna ukukhutshwa, nangona singafuni. Mhlawumbi wakho umfana osekudala unjalo. Ngoko ke, ukuba uyayiqonda ukuba ayiyi kutshintsha - ungabuyi. Nangona umntu eziphatha ngokugqibeleleyo, kodwa uziva ukhohlise kwaye ungazithembi - mamela i-intuition yakho nentloko. Kule meko, kufuneka ukholose ingqondo, kungekhona intliziyo.

Enye ingxaki inokuvela kule meko yindoda. Kodwa kungekhona okokuqala, kodwa okwenene, okhoyo kunye nawe. Ngaba kufanelekile ukuphonsa umntu kumntu odlulileyo? Kule meko, yonke into yinto kakhulu, kunzima kakhulu. Kukho iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokuphuhliswa kweemeko kunye nokuziphatha kwakho, kuxhomekeke kwimeko. Okokuqala, kufuneka unqume indlela ozivakalelwa ngayo ngomntu odibana naye. Zixelele ngokunyanisekileyo oko uhlangabezana nazo. Luthando, uthando okanye umkhwa. Kungenzeka ukuba uyamkela uthando ngothando, okanye ngokufanayo. Ukuphula ubudlelwane nomntu, kufuneka ube ngu-100% oqinisekileyo ukuba awuyi kuzisola. Khumbula ukuba uza kumlimaza umntu osele esondele kuwe. Ngoko ke, isenzo sakho kufuneka sicingwe kwaye senze ingqiqo. Ukuba sibuhlungu, ngoko-ke umntu kufuneka athathe into enhle. Kwaye xa uthe waphosa omnye kwaye ungahlali nomnye, wonke umntu uya kuhlupheka. Kwenzeka ukuba intombazana iphosa umfana, iya kwakuba yilapho yangaphambili, kwaye iyaqonda ukuba konke oku kuyingcamango. Kwaye, eneneni, uyamthanda lowo ahambayo. Kodwa, ngasemva awuyi kubuya nantoni na. Ungalokothi wenze loo mpazamo kwaye ungavumeli ukuba wenze izigqibo ezikhawulezayo. Khumbula ukuba oku akunjalo uhlobo oluthile lomdlalo, kodwa ubomi obunzima kakhulu, kwaye imiphumo ingaba yinto engalindelekanga. Kodwa, ukuba uziva ukuba awuyithandi loo mntu udibana naye kwaye ungaluthandi, ngoko unokuba yingxenye engcono, nangona ukuba yangaphambili ayisebenzanga. Kalula, ungamkhohlisi umntu kwaye umnike ithemba lokuvakalelwa okungasayi kuphinda lilungele. Ngokukodwa xa uqala ukutshata naye ukulibala lakho isoka. Kukho nawuphi na, kufuneka uqikelele kwaye uqaphele. Ngamanye amaxesha sifuna ukubuyisela into ethile, kodwa xa siyibuyisela, siyaqonda ukuba asisayidinga. Lawa ngamaphupha kunye neminqweno yeminyaka edluleyo, eguqule ngoku kwaye yonke into iyahluke.

Kodwa mhlawumbi akukho nto idlule kwaye uyimfuneko ngempela loo mntu. Yaye uyakufuna. Yaye ukuba nonke niziqonda iimpazamo zenu kwaye nilungele ukuqala kwakhona, ngoko nithathe ithuba. Mhlawumbi ukuphela kukunika ithuba lesibini.