Ngantoni na ukuthetha nomntu?

Wonke umntu uyazi ukuba uluntu lwethu luqulethwe ngabameli bebuthathaka kunye nesini. Badibene nomnye kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo nakwiindawo: kumaziko emfundo, esitratweni, emsebenzini, ekhaya, njl. Kubonakala ngathi akukho nto enje kuyo. Sonke siyaziwa ngabantu kwaye sithetha ulwimi. Kodwa akusiyo yonke into elula njengoko ibonakala ekuqaleni. Abasetyhini abaninzi, behamba nomntu, banombono ongacacanga wendlela kunye nokuba bathethe ntoni ngomntu. Ukungabikho kwalolu lwazi lokuthetha nomntu kubangela ubunzima ekunxibelelweni kunye nemingcipheko yokuphuhliswa kobudlelwane. Njani kulo mzekelo? Indlela yokuthetha namadoda? Kule nqaku, sizama nje ukuzama ukuphendula le mibuzo.


Kwinqanaba lokuqala

Okokuqala, kufuneka kukhunjulwe ukuba kumadoda isidingo sokuthetha sisoloko sincinane kunabesifazane. Kule ndlela kulandela ukuba incoko phakathi komfazi kunye nendoda akufanele ibe yintsi kwaye ide kakhulu. Ngaphandle koko, indoda edinwe yintetho engenanto, khawuyeke ukuphulaphula. Kwimeko apho uninzi ufuna ukuthetha nendoda malunga nezinye izinto ezincinci kunye nezinto ezingabalulekanga, ngoko umele ulumkise malunga nalo kwangaphambili. Emva koko uya kusabela kwintetho ngokufanelekileyo kwaye angabi nxamnye nokuzama ukubona intsingiselo enzulu kumagama angenayo. Indoda iya kuqonda ingxoxo yomhlobo wayo njengento engaboniyo, eyintetho engathembekanga.

Incoko phakathi kwowesifazane kunye nendoda ayifuni ukuthetha nentombi. Abasetyhini banakho ukukwazi ukuqonda. Amadoda kule plenenemnogo ahluke. Abantu baqonda ukuba leli hlabathi alifani nabasetyhini, ngoko ingxoxo kunye nommeli wesilisa ingabi yinto elula njengoko kubonakala ngathi. Ukuze uxoxe ngokufanelekileyo nendoda, kufuneka ufumane imithetho ethile yokubonisa ulwazi kwifomu eqondakalayo kuye.

Ukuba intetho phakathi komfazi kunye nendoda inzulu ngokwaneleyo, ngoko kufuneka azame ukungayikhohlwa injongo yale ngxoxo. Ukunxibelelanisana nomnye nomnye, abafazi abanako ukukwazi ukuphazamisa ingqalelo kwiingxoxo-zezihloko, baze babuyele kwisihloko esiyinhloko sencoko. Amadoda, ngokubhekiselele kwiimpawu zabo zengqondo, lolu hlobo lwencokozo lukhuni. Bazama ukuthetha ngokuqhubekayo malunga nazo zonke izihloko, ukuqinisa ukulungelelaniswa kweenkcukacha kunye nokudibanisa yonke le ngqungquthela yolwazi oluyingqamaniso. Mhlawumbi, abaninzi abafazi baya kuvuma ukuba akulula.

Ufanele uxoxe njani nendoda ukuze aqonde ngokucacileyo iingcamango ofuna ukuzithumela kuye?

Sifanele senze ngokucacileyo iingcamango zethu kwiindawo eziphezulu. Iimpazamo mazibe zicacile kwaye zicaca, izichasi ezingabandakanyiyo kunye nokungqinelana okungadingekile. Kuphela ke baya kufikelela kwi-addressee kwaye baya kuqondwa. Indoda kufuneka iqonde into oyithethayo kanye, kwaye ungayi kulahleka kwi-conjecture uze uyidibanise malunga nantoni na loo nto.

Njengomthetho, ngabasetyhini kuphela abakwazi ukudweba naziphi na izigqibo esele zivele ngethuba le ngxoxo phakathi kwabo. I-Umuzhchin yenye enye ingqiqo yokucinga. Okokuqala bayayifumana ulwazi, ngoko baqhuba ukusebenza kwayo, bakha ikhonkco enengqiqo kwaye kuphela benze izigqibo zokugqibela. Ngako oko, intetho engathethiyo kunye nentetho engabonakaliyo iyabacaphukisa kwaye ididekile. Ngendlela efanelekileyo ukuthetha nomntu, ukuze ungamcaphukisi ngexesha elifanayo? "Kulula ngokwaneleyo," ndiya kukuxelela. Kubalulekile ukubonisa ulwazi kumntu ngendlela eqondayo. Kubalulekile ukuba intetho yowesifazane ihlelwe kakuhle, ichaneke kwaye iqondwe kakuhle. Ungalokothi ugxume kwisihloko malunga nesibandakanyeka nendoda. Ukuvakalisa iingcamango zakho ngokucacileyo nangokuzimeleyo, kungakhathaliseki ukuba kunzima kangakanani ukubonakala kwakho kuqala.

Ukuze ukwazi ukuthetha namadoda, kufuneka ube nengcamango ecacileyo kungekhona nje ngeendlela zengxoxo, kodwa nangezihloko. Okokuqala, makhe sizame nawe ukuba uphendule umbuzo othi: "Yintoni enokuthi abantu bathi?" Hayi, mhlawumbi, abaxubusha ngeengubo zabo ezintsha, ukukhutshwa okutsha kwamaphephancwadi kunye neengxoxo. Ngokuqhelekileyo amadoda acinga ngentetho yabasetyhini njengengxoxo engenanto. Ngoko bathi ntoni ngoko? Khangela ... Abantu bathanda ukuthetha ngezemidlalo (ngokuphindaphindiweyo kwebhola), ezopolitiko, imoto, iikhomputha, amantombazana kunye nayo yonke into ngendlela efanayo. Ngamafutshane, malunga nento ebonakalayo, ephantsi komhlaba, enomdla, ekuphakanyeni izinga le-adrenaline egazini kunye nomsindo.

Kodwa ngokuqhelekileyo kwenzeka ukuba ibhinqa linako ukwenza, umzekelo, ungabi ncono kwibhola okanye kwiimoto. "Ngoko ke kufuneka ndiyenze ntoni na?" Ucela. Makhe sicinge ngezifundo zeziphi na ezinokuthi zathetha amadoda apho umfazi angakwazi khona. Qiniseka ukuba amadoda amaninzi aya kuvuyela ngokuphumelelayo ukuphumelela kwabo kunye nawe. Ngoko ke, ube nomdla kumsebenzi womntu kunye nempumelelo yakhe (kakuhle, ukuba, ngokwenene, ezo zikhoyo). Ewe, ukuba akunjalo, ngoko ufunde ukuphulaphula ngenyameko okanye ukuba ufuna ukuzenza ngathi uphulaphule. Amadoda ayithandayo xa abafazi beyathetha iintetho zabo. Kodwa ungawudluli, kungenjalo kuya kuba yinto ebonakalayo njengobungqina obuvulekileyo okanye ukuhleka.

Ukukhetha izihloko ezizayo zokuthetha nomntu, kufuneka uqonde ukuba uthetha ntoni naye kungayi kuba mnqweno. Ngokomzekelo, akufanelekile ukuthetha nommeli wesondo oqinileyo ukubandakanya ukugxeka okanye ukumxelela ngethuba elithile apho wena, ngokuthethileyo, "bekungaphumi." Ngokukodwa malunga nokusilela kwabo kungcono ukuthula. Khumbula kanye kunye nento yonke encokola nomntu ongeke uxoxe ngeengxaki zabanye kunye neziphene. Ababi kakhulu ngeengxoxo ezinjalo kwaye banokutshintsha ngokugqithiseleyo imbono yabo malunga nomfazi, bekrokrela inhlebo kuye.

Ezi ziingongoma eziphambili oza kufuneka wazi ukuze kuqalwe ingxoxo kunye nesini esomeleleyo.

Ekugqibeleni, ndinokunika amanye amathiphu:

  1. Kule meko, ukuba umntu ngokukhawuleza waqala ukuphazamisa wena, nawe unokumbulala, uqalise ingxoxo ngesihloko ngokukhawuleza evela entloko yakho. Amadoda abona isistim sowesifazana, esiqulethwe ngenyango ngokunyanisekileyo kwintlanganiso yeentloni, ukungaqiniseki kunye nobuthakathaka obuthathaka. Ngako oko, ngamanye amaxesha kubalulekile ukuphazamisa kunye nokungena kwiingxoxo ezifudumeleyo.
  2. Kufuneka uqale incoko nomntu, ungazama ukumlungiselela isihloko esithile. Kwintetho kufuneka ube ngumntu ofanelekileyo. Ukuba uqala ukuthetha ngokubalulekileyo kwintetho kungekudala, ngoko ke unako ukuyeka ukuthabatha umdlalo wakho.
  3. Dumayana umxholo othi: "Yintoni enokuthetha ngayo nomfana", kufuneka ukhethe izihloko apho ubuncinane ubuncinane. Indoda kufuneka ibone kuwe inokuzithemba, ubuntu obuqinileyo, inokukwazi ukujonga ngayo.
  4. Xa uthetha nomntu, kufuneka usebenzise izitatimende ezicacileyo, ezixhaswe ngongqinisiso kunye neengqinisiso.