Ubume beqabane elitshintshileyo.
Emva kokukrexeza, umntu unengqondo eqinile yokudideka kunye nentlungu. Kulo rhu lumente, unokukwenza izenzo ezahlukeneyo: unokuqalisa ukuziphindisela, zama ukuqonda imeko, ufumane ubuhlobo. Kwaye kuyinto engokwemvelo: sonke sifuna ukulahla intlungu ngokukhawuleza, ngokuthatha isigqibo malunga nendlela yokuphila. Ngokuphindaphindiweyo, isigqibo esinjalo ukuphula ubudlelwane. Nangona kunjalo, oogqirha beengqondo abajongene nemicimbi yengqondo yokungcatsha, bacebise kwiimeko ezichaphazela ukungenzi ukunyakaza okubukhali. Ukuze wenze isigqibo malunga nendlela yokuqhuba, kufuneka kuthathe ixesha elide kude kube ngumzuzu. Umntu ngeli xesha uya kukwazi ukuzola kwaye enze isigqibo esifanelekileyo.
Kule meko ilula nje inokuba yinto eninzi yokuphuma kunye nokwaphula ubudlelwane - kungekhona yodwa indlela yokuphuma. Ukwenza isisombululo esifanelekileyo sokuqonda ukuba yintoni enye eyenzekayo, okokuqala, kufuneka uzingenise isimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo, esinzima kakhulu.
Ngenxa yoko, iingxoxo kunye nengcali yeengqondo eziqonda imiba yeengcaphephe zokukrexeza, umsebenzi, ukuhamba, ezemidlalo kunokunceda. Emva kokuba ufumene ibhalansi yangaphakathi, zama ukujonga ngendlela engqiqweni kunye nengqondo.
Kukho izizathu ezahlukeneyo zokutshintsha. Sibhala ezinye zazo.
Izizathu zokutshintsha.
1. Uhlaselo luphawu lokuthandana. Kwiengqondo, ukukhohlisa kuyisizathu sokuqala. Kule meko, kufuneka ucacise kunye neqabane lakho lobuhlobo kwaye ube nesibindi sokuphumla ngobudlelwane. Mhlawumbi iqabane lakho lingenayo intliziyo yokuxelela inyaniso, kodwa unokumgxeka nje ngoku, kwaye kungekhona ngenxa yokuba akanalo uthando kuwe.
2. Ukholo luphawu lwesingxaki kwiintsebenziswano. Kwisakhiwo sengqondo yokungcatsha, kwesi sizathu sesibini. Ukuba unengxaki ebuhlotsheni - oku akuthethi ukuba uthando luye. Kunoko, ngokuchasene noko, ukungcatsha kubonisa ukuba iqabane lakho lifuna ukucombulula ingxaki kwaye ubuyele uthando. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba umyeni uvakalelwa kukuba umfazi wakhe umkhawulezile, unokubhenywa ngokukhawuleza unobhala. Kodwa isiseko salo mtsalane asiyithandi unobhala, kodwa inzame yokujamelana nokuvakalelwa. Oko kukuthi, esikhundleni sokumnika umfazi ibango, umyeni uyazi ukuba uyayilungisa loo nto ngokunyanzela. Iingcali zengqondo zidla ngokuthetha ukuba ukuhlambalaza ngamanye amaxesha kunokuthi kuzinze kubudlelwane. Ngokuqhelekileyo abantu abaye baphila ngokukrexeza baya kukhankanywa njengesifundo esihle, bafundise ukunyamekela iqabane labo ngokunyamekela, ngovelwano olukhulu nokuqonda, bafundiswe ukuba bavule, babekezele, bancede.
3. Ukholo luphawu lokuba umntu uneengxaki zangaphakathi. Ngokwakheko lweengqondo zezobugwenxa, oku kuyesizathu esiqhelekileyo. Kukho iingxaki ezinjalo. Umzekelo, umntu akalungele ulwalamano olunzulu. Xa umntu eqonda ukuba ubudlelwane kunye nomlingane sele sele luqala ukutshintshela kwinqanaba elithile, ukwesaba kwangaphakathi kuyammngca ukuba amngcatsha. Kule meko, umntu ngokwakhe uhluphekile. Emva kwakho konke, inxalenye yakhe ifuna ulwalamano oluqinileyo, kodwa unokwesaba kunye nokunyusa umntu ngaphandle kwezulu.
Enye ingxaki yangaphakathi kukuzithemba. Umntu uvame ukunyusa ukuzithemba kwakhe ngobuninzi beentlobano zesini. Ngoko ufuna ukuzibonakalisa yena kunye nehlabathi lonke ukuba ungumfazi omkhulu okanye u-superman, ukuba uyinkosi yemizimba kunye nemiphefumlo kunye nomnqobi. Kwaye ekubeni ukungaqiniseki ngokwalo yinkathazo yangaphakathi enzulu engaphendulanga ngale ndlela, umntu uhlala, njengaphambili, ngokunganeliseki nokungaqiniseki.
Iingcali zengqondo zihlukanisa enye ingxaki. Baxela le ngxaki kwiindidi ezahlukahlukeneyo, ezi zilandelayo, ukungabikho ukuzithemba ekulandeleni le ngongoma. Ngokomzekelo, lo mboniso uqhelekile, ukuba indoda yangempela kufuneka ibe neyomfazi kunye nenkosikazi. Okanye, umzekelo, kudlalwa ukuba ukuxhomekeka okuthile kubangela ukuba uthembeke kumlingane omnye, kwaye ukuze ugweme ukuxhomekeke kulo mntu uza ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo.
Yintoni endiyenzayo?
Kukho ezinye izizathu, nangayiphi na imeko, kungekho kuzo zonke iimeko kuya kuba nengqiqo ukusabela ngokugqithana ngokupheleleyo kobudlelwane. Emva koko, ukuba xa kwenzeka ukungcatsha komntu, iingxaki zakhe zangaphakathi zimqhubela phambili, isisombululo esifanelekileyo nesigqibeleleyo sale ngxaki sinokukunceda kuphela ukubuyisela ubudlelwane, kodwa nokukwenza ukuba olu dlelwane lube lukhulu ngakumbi kwaye lukhulu, olungagqithiselwa ubunzima beengqondo. Ewe, oku kuya kwenzeka kuphela ukuba ulwalamano lubiza.
Mhlawumbi umntu onothando oye wabhekana nokunyaniseka, endaweni yokuhlala emva kokuxhalaba, ngenxa yokuvalelwa yintlungu, ngenxa yokuzihawukela, kufuneka afune ukujonga imeko leyo? Ngokomzekelo, qaphela ukuba kule meko, abo babini bahlupheka. Ukubona ukuba ubomi bunzima. Ukuqonda ukuba esinye isizathu sihlala sisemva kophando, kwaye eso sizathu asikwaziwa kuthi okanye sichaza ngokucacileyo. Khumbula ukuba ukunyanzela kungumqondiso kuphela, kodwa ukuba uyayiqonda kakuhle le mqondiso, awukwazi ukutshabalalisa, kodwa ukuphucula nokuhlaziya ubuhlobo.
Kwaye ekugqibeleni, xa uthetha ngokunyaniseka, kufuneka kuthiwa ukungcatsha kungabakho kokuqala kunye nokuphela, kunye nendlela ulwalamano oluphela ngayo, kuphela kufuneka sigqibo.