Ukuba ukhangele kwicala elinye, ngoko ukuthengiswa kuxhaphake kangangokuthi phantse elowo kuthi sihlangane nale nto, ubuncinane kanye kanye ebomini, kwaye kunokwenzeka-ngokuphindaphindiweyo, ngoko ke ukuzingela akubonwanga njengento engavamile. Ngakolunye uhlangothi - naluphi na ixesha kukho intlungu engqondweni, awukwazi ukucinga indlela yokuhlala nayo kwaye udale ingcamango yokuba ihlabathi elikujikelezayo liwela kwiinqununu ezincinci kwaye akukho ndlela yokulungisa nantoni na.
Kulo rhulumente, silungele nayiphi na into esicatshangelwe kakubi. Uya kubuyekeza, zama ukufumana ubudlelwane okanye uhlele ukuhlaziywa. Ngokomgaqo, oku kusemgangathweni ngokwemvelo, kuba umntu ngamnye ufuna ukukhawuleza ukuphelisa intlungu yengqondo aze anqume indlela yokuphila.
Ngokuqhelekileyo isigqibo esenziwe siholele ekuphuleni ubudlelwane, nangona iingcali zengqondo ziqhubeka zicebisa ukuba zingagxininisi kwizigqibo. Ixesha elithile kufuneka lidlule phambi kokuba ilizwe lichaphazeleke ekuphefumlweni, kwaye unokujonga ngokwaneleyo imeko yangoku kwaye wenze isigqibo esifanelekileyo.
Ukusuka kwinjongo yengqondo, kukho izizathu ezininzi zokuba kutheni amadoda atshintshe. Ezizona ziqhelekileyo zazo zi:
1. Ukubonakala kubanda kubundlelwane, xa uthando seludlulile, kodwa umkhwa uhleli. Kule meko, kuyimfuneko ukuba ufumane uxolo lwakho kunye nomlingani, ubeke yonke "i" kwaye uzame ukuyeka ukuxhamla.
2. Ukuvela kweengxaki ebudlelwaneni bakho. Kule meko, ukunyaniseka kubonisa ukuba iqabane lakho liloyiko, ngokungathi isigqibo esidibeneyo asizange siphumelele kwaye yile ndlela afuna ukufihla ngayo uxanduva.
3. Khangela ukuqonda okufanayo. Mhlawumbi unqamle ukunika ingqalelo umlingane wakho kwaye wayenomdla wokuzibamba.
4. Ukuvela kwezinye iingxaki zangaphakathi kumntu, ukuphikisana, onokungaqondi.
Iingxaki zangaphakathi zingafani kakhulu. Umzekelo, ukuba umntu akayilungele ulwalamano oluqinileyo, okanye ukuba akaqinisekanga kuye ngokwakhe, ngamandla akhe. Kukho izizathu ezininzi zokungqubuzana, kodwa nangona kunjalo, akukho mfuneko yokukhawuleza ulwalamano. Nangona, ngokusemgangathweni, kungcono ukugxila kwiimvakalelo zakho neemvakalelo zakho.
Sifanele sicinge ngokuphathelele umbuzo: kodwa ngaba unokuhlala nale nto? Unako, ukwazi ngokungcatshwa kwendoda yakho, kwakhona ufunde ukumthemba kwaye ungaphumi kuye.
Ukhohlakele, ngaphezu kwakho konke, umqondiso wokuthi lixesha lokujonga ngokutsha ulwalamano lwakho, zama ukulungisa iimpazamo zakho kwaye wenze utshintsho oluhle ebomini bakho bentsapho ukwenzela ukuba utshintshi ufumene oko akufunayo kubuhlobo kunye nabanye abafazi.
I-Psychoanalysts inikezela abafazi abaye bajamelana nokungcatsha kwamadoda abo kwaye abazi indlela yokuphila nayo, ukucinga okokuqala kukho konke okukhoyo kumntu onokukhohliswa ngumyeni wakho. Cinga, mhlawumbi uya kukwazi ukutshintsha uqobo?
Ukuba uthe wakwazi ukuxubusha imeko yangoku kwaye uqonde kunye nantoni ebangela ukuba indoda yakho ishintshe, kuyimfuneko ukutshintsha imeko kwithuba elithile. Abantu abaninzi abatshatileyo abenza ngale ndlela bathetha ngokuzithemba ukuba ubudlelwane babo sele besondele ngakumbi kunaphambili, kwaye akukho namnye kubo oye wakhumbula ukutshintsha kwakhona.
Kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba ukuba uthe wagqiba ukugcina umtshato emva kokungcatsha, ngoko ukugcina ubudlelwane kuya kufuneka utshintshe bobabini!
UJulia Sobolevskaya , ngokukhethekileyo kwisiza