Enyanisweni, iminyaka elishumi elinesibhozo ayikho nje into ocinga ngayo. Ewe, abaninzi bakho abahlobo sele benalo ubudlelwane kunye nabafana. Kodwa! Khumbula ukuba onke amabali abo kunye nokuziqhenya akude nenyaniso. Ngoku kungabonakala kuwe ukuba abaqambi amanga, kodwa ngokwenene, kunjalo. Kodwa balala kuwe okanye kubo. Xa uneminyaka elilishumi elinesibhozo, abafana abakucingekanga ngobudlelwane obukhulu. Ngokuqinisekileyo, bathanda inkqubo yokuhlangana, ukubanga kunye, mhlawumbi, ngesondo. Kodwa abaphupha ngantoni na ngakumbi, ngokungafani nani.
Ukuba uthe: Ndineminyaka engama-16 ubudala kwaye andisenaso isoka, ngoko abantu abaselula abakuboni kuwe oko bakubona kwabanye. Kwaye akubi, kulungile. Xa ubudala uya kuqonda. Okwangoku, cinga ngezinto ofunayo kubuhlobo. Unokucinga njani iintlanganiso zakho zothando, imihla, ubudlelwane?
Ukuba ufuna ukuba nolwalamano nolutsha oluvuthiweyo, phendula ngokunyanisekileyo ngokwakho - ngaba ulungele ulwalamano olunzulu. Ngokwenene. Umfana oneminyaka engaphezu kweminyaka engamashumi amabini ubudala, ufuna ukubona umntu omdala, ohlakaniphile, ozimeleleyo onokufumana uncedo kunye nokuxhasa, oya kuqonda iingxaki zakhe. Yaye kholwani mna, xa bebudala bakhe banzima kakhulu kunani. Ngaba unako xa kunesidingo, funda ulwimi oluqhelekileyo kunye nabahlobo bakhe, ulingane nabo? Ukuba kwenzeka ntoni kuye, uya kuba nethuba lokuthabatha iteksi uze kwenye indawo ekupheleni kwesi sixeko? Ndiyakwazi ukukubuza emininzi imibuzo enjalo. Ngaba ungaziphendulela kwi-affirmative? Ewe, ukuba ungumfana onesikolo esikhankanywe ngokugqibeleleyo kwiseyadi yakho, ngoko awukwazi ukucinga ngako. Kodwa ngaba uyayifuna? Ukuba uqala kwishumi elinesibhozo kunye nomntu onyantisayo, ngoko uneminyaka engamashumi amabini uhlala usonwabile kunye noVasya oneminyaka engamashumi amane ubudala onxilisayo. Ngoko cinga ngenyameko, ngaba unokuba ngumntu omdala oqhelekileyo.
Ngelishwa, nokuba uyintombazana ehlakaniphile kunye ne-erudite eziva ekhulile kunontanga yakhe, kwinkampani enjalo intsha uya kuba ngumntwana. Kwaye akukho nto iphosakeleyo. Ngaloo xesha, ukuhluka kobudala kunokwenene. Nangona umfana esithandayo, ubuhlobo obunjalo abuyi kuhlala ixesha elide, kuba ekuziphatheni kwakho kuya kuhlala kusetshentshile "ubuntwaneni", ngokuqhelekileyo kuminyaka yakho. Kwaye, njengoko ndithe, ufuna intombazana ekhulile eyazi ukuba isilumko, ukwenza ukunyaniseka kwaye ubuncinane uyazi into ebomini. Ngoko ngoku, aba bantu abayenawe.
Ukuba ufuna ukudibana nomlingane wakho, kufuneka uyilibale malunga naluphi na uthando. Ubuninzi obuyifumanayo i-cocktail ekhatyini, kwaye nangona kunjalo akuyiyo into yokuba unokukhokelela apho. Kuya kwenzeka kuphela ukuba umntu omncinane unabantwana abazizityebi. Ngokuqinisekileyo, unokufumana into ethile, kodwa xa eneminyaka elishumi elinesibhozo uya kuchitha imali engaphezulu kwimidlalo okanye kwisiqalo esilandelayo kunokuba intombazana. Ngoko lungela ukuchitha ubusuku kwi-bhenki kwibhotile yobhiya. Ukuba awuyithandi loo mathuba, ngoko awudingi umfana okwamanje.
Qonda, kuloo minyaka, bambalwa kuphela abanokunika into entombazana. Ininzi yabantu abatsha bacinga kuphela ngesondo kunye nobhiya. Kwaye amaninzi amantombazana ayonwabile ngayo. Ngaba ufuna kwakhona oku? Ukuba yebo-qhubeka phambili. Bonisa ukuba ufana nokunye kwaye uya kuba neqabane. Yaye uya kuhlanjululwa ngongqimba.
Xa uneminyaka elishumi elinesibhozo kubonakala ukuba sele sele udala kakhulu kwaye ubomi buye buqhekeka, kuba wonke umntu unomntu, kwaye awuyi. Kodwa kholwa mna, kuya kuthatha iminyaka emibini kunye nezinto eziphambili ziguqulwe. Amantombazana amaninzi ngoko ngokwenene abe neentloni ngokwazo ngenxa yokuziphatha okunjalo kunye nokungabikho mthethweni. Ubuninzi bobuncinci bubangela ukuba silandele isihlwele. Sithenga iimpahla, sikhethe i-subculture, sifumana umfana nje ukuba ahlale kunye nabanye, ukuze bangalihleki eklasini ukuze bangayihlekisi. Kwaye bambalwa abantu abanokumelana nale nto baze bahambe ngendlela yabo. Ukuba ngaba abahlobo bakho abayiqondi le nto kwaye abayikuyixabisa, ukuba abanakukuxhasa ngendlela oyiyoyo, ke akubona abantu abadala, kwaye abayi kubahlobo nhlobo. Abantu abaphumelele kwizihlobo eziqhelekileyo abanakuze bagwebe intombi ukuba bangabi nekhwenkwe. Ngokuqhelekileyo ukuyeka umbandela. Njengoko uneminyaka yobudala, uqala ukuqonda ukuba uthando alufi lula lula, kwaye sele selunqika ukulipha "ukuba." Amantombazana amaninzi athi kungcono ukuba yedwa ngethuba elithile, ukuba uphile ngokuzonwabisa kwakho.
Ngoko ungakhathazeki kakhulu ngenxa yokuba ungenayo inkwenkwe. Ewe, ngoku yonke into ibonakala iyingozi kwaye ihlaziye, kodwa ayikho. Kwiminyaka embalwa uya kuhleka ngokuqinisekileyo ezi ngxaki.
Cinga, ufuna nje umfana okanye uthando? Ukuba uluthando, luya kufika xa lujoliswe kwaye akukho nto ongayenza. Ukuba uzimisele ukumfumana kwishumi elinesibhozo - uya kufumana, ngokungalindelekanga kwaye apho ungalindelanga khona. Kodwa ukuba, uthando kufuneka luvele emva kancinci, ungakhathazeki, uxinzelele kwaye ubeke ingqwalasela kwimbono yabantu abancinci. Kungcono ukuchitha ulutsha lwakho kwizinto zokuzilibazisa ezahlukeneyo, abatsha abaqhelana nabo, ukuqhagamshelana nokufumana abahlobo, kunokuba ube neinyembezi kunye nokudakumba ngenxa yabantwana abasencineni bemakhwenkwe. Cinga ngalo, kwaye unqande ukukhathazeka. Ngonyaka okanye ezimbini, zonke izinto ziya kuhluka. Uya kuqala ukufundisisa kwiyunivesiti kwaye uya kuqonda ukuba abo bantu oye wabhalwa nabo ngaphambi kokuba kude kakhulu kuzo zonke iintlobo zabameli besilisa. Okwangoku, musa ukuphulaphula abo bafuna ukucaphukisa kwaye bakuncitshise ngokungabikho komntu.
Ubukho belizwe elizidlayo liqhayiya kwabo bangenanto yokuziqhayisa. Khumbulani oku ngokufanelekileyo kwaye musa ukulinganisa nabo, ukukhathazeka ngumgaqo: "Oo, ndise-16 ubudala, kodwa andisenamfana-mhlawumbi, ndiyingozi, iyingozi kwaye ayiyithandi" ayikufanelekanga. Awunayo indoda, kungekhona ngenxa yokuba uyingozi, kodwa kuba wena, ngokuchaseneyo, ungcono. Kwaye iimfuno zakho zamadoda ziphezulu. Xa ukhula ngokupheleleyo kulwalamano, njengoko abantu abancinci bekhula kubo, awuyi kuba nje ngumfana, kodwa uthanda.