Ndizamile ukuthetha naye kaninzi, kodwa konke kungento nto, ndiyandisa. Unqabile kakhulu unako ukuva amagama athi "Hayi, uxolisa" kuye, kwaye bathetha ngetoni enjalo ndiyiqonda - oku kuyanceda. Ndisoloko ndichasene nale ndlela yokuziphatha, kodwa kungekudala ndivakalelwa kukuba ndibe nexhala, ndithukuthele kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo ndiya kuphendula umyeni wam ngokufanayo. Nceda, cetyiswa, ukuba kunokwenzeka njani ukuphucula imeko.
U-Irina Uyabona, hayi, kwenzeka. Ngokuqinisekileyo, imeko kwintsapho ixakeke kakhulu, kwaye ukuba akukho nto iyenziwe, ingahamba kude. Ngoko ke, kubalulekile ukuyicombulula kwinqanaba xa kusekhona umnqweno kunye nethuba lokutshintsha into ethile.
Memeza, kwaye uya kuviwa?
Kunzima ukukholelwa, kodwa yile ndlela amagama angamazwi achazwa xa kucacisa ubudlelwane. Kubonakala kumntu ukuba akakwazi ukumemeza kumlingane wakhe ngokucacileyo okanye ngengqondo engokomfanekiso, ngoko uphakamisa izwi lakhe. Ngale nto kucacile. Kodwa kuthekani ngamagama angcolileyo? Iingcali zengqondo zichaza.
Ukugqithisa kwaye ukuhlambela kuhlale kuluhlaza kwaye kusetyenziswe ukwenza kube lula "ukufikelela" ukuhambisa iingcamango zakho. Kodwa ngokubalulekayo, izizathu zokungahlali ziphatha kakuhle ngamadoda kukuba zihlala ziphethe ukuziphatha okungakumbi kunathi, abafazi. Le nto siyayiphendula ngentshiseko kuzo zonke iinkcukacha, ziyakusindisa kunye nokunganeliseki, ukuxhatshazwa kwangaphakathi kukhula, kwaye ngokukhawuleza kungabikho-kwaye "wena, umntu ongendawo, wonakalisa ubomi bakhe."
Esinye isizathu sokuba indoda ihlaziye ibe yinto ebizwa ngokuthi "indlela yokuziphatha." Ukubeka nje, kwiimeko ezichaseneyo, iqabane liziphatha ngendlela abazali bayo abaziphatha ngayo.
Zikhathalele
Mhlawumbi akuyithandi kakhulu ukufunda, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha umfazi, indoda yakhe ihlala ihlambalaza, kufuneka icinge ukuba ingazibeka kwindawo enjalo. Emva koko, njengoko besithi ebantwini, "Ndifuna ukubetha emva kwam," kwaye izazi zengqondo zivakalisa ngokugqithiseleyo: ixhoba lisoloko lifumanisa. Yintoni ongayenza ukuba yinyaniso, ubuncinane inxalenye? Kubalulekile ukufumana umgangatho ophakathi phakathi kwam "Ndingcono uhlale ngithula kwisono" kwaye "Ndiya kuzikhusela izimvo zam." Zama ukubheka imeko ukusuka kwicala, makakhulume, kwaye xa "umthombo weemvakalelo" uphumelela, uchaze ngokucacileyo izenzo zakhe aze athethe ngeemvakalelo zakhe. Umzekelo, "Ukhwaza ngoku. Kutheni ukwenza oku? Xa ukwenza oku, ndivakalelwa kwaye ndifuna ukuzikhusela. " Vumelana nomyeni wakhe ukuba, kungakhathaliseki ukuba kutshayisana kangakanani na ingxabano, awuyi kuwela kumntu. Emva koko, oku kuthotywa. Kwaye kuvela kulo, okokuqala, indoda kufuneka ikhusele isiqingatha sayo.
Sebenzela ezimbini
Ukuba uyaqonda ukuba isizathu seengxaki zakho yintliziyo yomyeni, zama ukumcebisa ukuba afune uncedo okanye icebiso (ngesizathu esithile eli gama lizwakala likhuselekile kumadoda) kwintsapho yengqondo yengqondo. Nangona kunjalo, oku akusoloko kulula ukwenza. Kwimeko nayiphi na into, zama ukuvumelana nomyeni (xa uya kuba neemeko ezintle) malunga nemithetho emininzi ngexesha evakalelwa kukuba uya kutshatyalaliswa. Ukuba kwenzeka ukuba uphendule kumyeni wakho "ngokulungelelanisa", kuya kuba luncedo kuwe.
Ukubonisa iimvakalelo zakho kufuneka ukhethe indawo ekhethekileyo kwindlu. Into ephambili kukuba le akuyikicikitini okanye igumbi lokulala - siyaqaphela ukuba ezi ndawo zithandwa kakhulu, ngoko akufanele zihlanganiswe neengxabano.
Ngethuba le "intetho" unokuphakamisa ilizwi, kodwa ukubiza nokuhlambalaza - hayi-hayi. Kwakhona, awukwazi ukuphazamisana. Ukuba olu hlobo lusebunzima, zama le ndlela yokwengqondo. Khetha into encinci (ipeni, i-TV kude, ibhotile yebumba) kwaye uvume ukuba umntu onento ezandleni zakhe unelungelo lokuvota.
Impembelelo yomzimba kwintsapho ayimkelekanga kuphela kubantu, kodwa nakwizinto. Futhi awukwazi ukuphikisa uluvo lwakho ngokukhwaza okanye ukuphula izinto.
Ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba iimvakalelo ziba ngcono, qalisa ukuthetha kunye namanqaku. Ngaloo ndlela, ukubulala okanye ukuphakamisa izwi lakho akuyi kusebenza. Ewe, kwaye mhlawumbi akayi kubizwa, kuba izitatimenti ziya kuba ngakumbi ngokwakhayo nangenjongo.
Ngoko akufanelekile!
Enye into efana nayo xa ukuziphatha komyeni kuluhlobo lobuhlobo bakho. Ukholose ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba indlela yakhe yokuziphatha iyinto eqhelekileyo kwaye ingabi yintloni nonke, kodwa ke, ukugxeka okulula? Ixesha lokuba zixhobo ezinkulu. Zama ngenye enye intetho engabonakaliyo ukuyithatha ikhamera yeselula okanye ubuncinane uyirekhodi kwi-dictaphone. Yaye xa engakhange akhathazeke, makangaboni okanye ave "ubungqina bokungqubuzana." Ukuba akacingi ngokuziphatha kwakhe emva koko, kufuneka amanyathelo amaninzi. Ixesha lokuba ucinge ngento enokuzifumana ngayo kumtshato wakho. Ukuzinza, umkhwa, inkxaso yenkxaso, ngokuqinisekileyo, kubalulekile, kodwa ukuzithemba kwakho kunye nokuzithemba kwakho akunakunqunywa ngenxa yalo. Kufuneka ukwazi ukuba abaninzi beengqondo kunye nemibutho ekhethekileyo ekukhuselweni kwamalungelo amabhinqa ukuphatha indlela umntu othetha ngaso rhoqo ngokuhlaziya omnye, njengobundlobongela bemvakalelo. Ndiqinisekile ukuba ufuna ngokwenene ukutshintsha imeko ibe ngcono, uya kuphumelela! Kwaye ininzi ethembekileyo yabancedisi bakho kule nto iya kuba yintlonelo kunye nenkolelo yokuba ufanelwe kuphela okulungileyo.
Zijonge
Wena, kwakhona, uyazilawula ngokwakho, kuba, sivuma ukuba uthembekile, "abafazi" kwaye "bazisa ukushisa okumhlophe" abafazi bayazi ukuba akukho mntu. Ngaba uvumela izitenxo ezimbi malunga nomvuzo wakhe? Ngaba ubuza ukwazi kwakhe, ugxeke abanye? Oku kuziphatha kubonwa yindoda efana nehlazo, iingcali zengqondo zithi. Omnye uvale, ungakhathazeki, kwaye umntu uya kuzikhusela ngezixhobo ezifanayo - ukuthotywa, kuphela ngamazwi angenabungqina kunye namahlazo. Ngoko khumbula uhlobo luni lomyeni ofuna ukuba nalo emva kwakho. Intelligent, eqinile, impumelelo? Emva koko umphathe ngendlela enjalo.