Kutheni oku kwenzekayo? Kutheni abantu abatsha banomdla kakhulu ukuba bangene kulwalamano nomlingane omdala? Kutheni abafana bekhetha abafazi abadala kunabo?
Emva koko, akukho nto inomtsalane ngaphezu kokubukela abantu abancinci abantu, malunga nobudala obufanayo. Siyabonga ngombono woluntu, sijwayele olu hlobo lolwalamano. Kwaye, xa umfana omdala kunye nomfazi omdala edlula kuwe, bebamba izandla bekothakraza ngomnye nomnye, ngokuzibandakanya sinyanzela iindondo zethu kwaye siyeke ukuthetha ngokungahambisani nokunyuka: "Andizange ndiyifumane intombazana" okanye "Ewe unako ukulungele unina. "
Sikhohliwe ibinzana elithi "bonke ubudala bayathobela ukuthanda." Ayikwazi ukuthanda, ukuhlonipha, ukunyameka kubakho kwiimbini ezilinganayo?
Ngoko kutheni abafana bekhetha abafazi abadala kunabo?
Kukho izizathu ezininzi. Okokuqala, umfazi osekhulile unengqondo ehlukileyo ngokupheleleyo kunentombazana. Okwesibini, umfazi osekhulile, osuvele uneminyaka engaphezu kweyeshumi emva kwakhe, unamava amancedo. Uhlakaniphile, ufunde kakuhle, wazibonela - kunye naye umfana osemtsha uya kuhlala enomdla. Ngelo xesha, umntu omncinci uya kuhlala efumana ithuba lokufunda into evela kumlingane wakhe omdala, ukufunda kumava aya kumnceda ebomini. Okwesithathu, into ephambili ebhenkisayo abafana abancinci ngamava oomntu omdala. Kwakhona, unokufunda okuninzi. Ngomfazi omdala osemdala, abafana abaselula baba ngamadoda okwenene. Iziganeko ezingakhawuleziyo ziyakuthi zikhutshwe ngenxa yokungakwazi ukungafanelanga.
Ungalibali ukuba abafazi abavuthiweyo kwiminyaka engamashumi amathathu anesithandathu, sele bebuqu. Ibhinqa elivuthiweyo limi ngokunyanisekileyo kwiinyawo zakhe, ayixhomekeke kunoma ubani. Uyazi ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba unayo yonke into kwaye xa kukho inkathazo, umntu kuphela onokumthemba nguye ngokwakhe. Ukuzithemba, ukuzithemba, ukwanelisekile - ngulo mfazi okhangela abancinci, kungekhona abafana abanamava.
Ngaba kukho ubuhlobo besikhathi esizayo phakathi komfana oselula kunye nomfazi omdala?
Kunzima ukuphendula umbuzo ngokuchanekileyo, kuba ngamnye wethu unendawo yethu, kwaye akukho ithuba lokujonga kwikamva.
Kodwa, unokuqwalasela zonke iziphumo zengxaki xa umfana omncinane ekhetha umfazi omdala kunokuba yena. Ewe, kukho imimiselo apho ubudlelwane obunjalo buhlala ixesha elide, xa bobabini bebethandana baze bavuya. Kodwa, njengomthetho, ubudlelwane obunjalo abukho ixesha elide.
Kwaye konke, ngenxa yokuba, kungenjalo, kungekudala okanye kamva, umahluko phakathi kweminyaka uza kudlala indima yayo. Okanye umfazi uya kukhwabanisa nalo buhlobo kunye nomfana omncinane. Uyayeka ukuthanda rhoqo kwaye kuyo yonke into ibe yinto ephambili, ukuba ube "uhlobo lomama." Emva koko, ngamnye umfazi ufuna ukuziva ekhuselekile, kwaye nangona kunjalo, abaninzi banomdla kwixesha elizeleyo nakuyo yonke into bayithatha uxanduva lwexesha elizayo.
Imitshato eninzi ngokungafaniyo iyaqhekeka ngenxa yokuba ibhinqa livala ixesha layo. Ukholelwa ukuba akafanelanga ulwalamano olunjalo. Njengoko ikhulile ikhula, isondele ngakumbi umzuzu xa intombazana yakhe ethandekayo iqalisa ukubheka amantombazana amancinci. Kwimeko enjalo, nokuba nokuziphatha okwaneleyo kwendoda enokuzama ukukholisa umngane wakhe kwiingcamango ezingenakuyisindisa. Xa umfazi evala ukwesaba kwakhe kunye nobunzima, njengomthetho, nguye kuphela onokumnceda.
Enye inkcazo. Kutheni ukungalingani kwemibutho eyahlukanayo yindoda ebalulekileyo. Xa sele uhlangene namava kunye nokuzithemba, ngoko kuthetha, xa ubenokuphefumula, loo mfana uqala ukucinga ngendlela eyahlukileyo. Sele sele efuna (kwaye uyathemba ngamakhono akhe) ukuba azame ngobundlelwane namantombazana amancinci.
Yiba njengoko kunjalo, musa ukulibala ukuba bonke ubudala bayathobela ukuthanda. Kwaye, nokuba ulonwabo lwakho aluhlali ixesha elide, ufanele uvuyiswe kuphela kwimeko yokuba ebomini bakho kwakukho ixesha elonwabileyo.