Kwaye kufuneka uxolele ukutshatyalaliswa komyeni wakhe kunye nento enokuyenza xa indoda ishintshile, indlela yokuziphatha ngayo? Ubuqhetseba buyahluka. Kukhona nje ukudlala ngothando phakathi kwendoda kunye nomfazi ohamba ngaphaya kwezinto ezivumelekileyo, oku kwenzeka ngokuqhelekileyo kwiindawo zokuhlaziya okanye kwiihambo zorhwebo. Kwaye kwenzeka ukuba ivelidi ikhula ibe yimvakalelo eqinileyo kwaye umfazi uyaba yintsimbi. Kwimeko nayiphi na into, kufuneka ulinganise yonke into kwaye uxoxe ngale ngxaki kunye nomyeni wakho kwaye ufumene ubuhlobo.
Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba umyeni wakho usitshintshile, kufuneka uqiniseke ngawo. Musa ukwethuka, kufuneka uzigcinele ngesandla, kungakhathaliseki ukuba kunzima kangakanani. Kwaye nawuphi na umzekelo, musa ukwenza ama-scandals, kuba ukuziphatha okunjalo kuya kubangela ukuba kungabikho nto efanelekileyo, kodwa kuya kwandisa imeko.
Ukuba ufunde ukuba umyeni wakho uyamthanda omnye umfazi kwaye ufuna ukuhlala naye, ngoko akukho ncokola naye akuyi kunceda. Musa ukuziphindisela kumyeni wakho, kuba ngokuphindaphindiweyo ukuphindisela akukhokelela kuyo nayiphi na into enhle kwaye uya kubuya kuwe njenge-boomerang.
Kodwa ukuba ufumanisa ukuba umyeni wakho usitshintshe wena, kodwa akafuni ukulahlekelwa nguwe kwaye awonakalise intsapho yakho, kufuneka ucinge ukuba wamnyusa ukuba akunikele. Ngaba kufuneka uhlale phantsi uze ucinge ngezizathu? Mhlawumbi, uhlawula ingqalelo encinane kumyeni wakho, umlalele ngesondo. Okanye wamlinda ngamandla kwaye akazange amvumele ukuba azinyathele ngokwakhe! Kukho iimpazamo ezininzi esizenzayo, ngaphandle kokuzibona. Kwaye le mpazamo kufuneka uyiqonde kwaye uyiqonde.
Kuthiwani ukuba umfazi ukhohliswa ngumyeni wakhe? Ewe, unokumthabatha uze umshiye umyeni wakho okanye ufunde ukuhlala noxhatshazo lwakhe kwaye ulungelelanise ukungaziphathi kobudlelwane bakho. Kodwa okokuqala, zibuze umbuzo, kodwa ngaba ufuna ubuhlobo obunjalo kwaye kufuneka uhlupheke zonke ezi zintlungu? Ininzi yabasetyhini ikholelwa ukuba ukunyeliswa kumyeni wakhe kunokuxolelwa, kuba uyindoda kwaye engenaye indoda bayakufumana kunzima ukuhlala. Kwaye abanye abafazi baxolela ukungathembeki kwaye basindise intsapho kuphela ngenxa yabantwana, ukwenzela ukuba abantwana bangabanjwanga ukufudumala kukayise.
Kukho amabhinqa ahlala ekhononda ngokungathembeki komyeni wakhe kunye nokungaphumeleli kwakhe. Kule meko, zombini umfazi nomyeni bahlala ekufeni. Abafuni ukuphucula ubudlelwane kwaye bahlala bexinzelelekileyo.
Kulungile ukuba ugxininise ebomini bakho kwaye unokukwenza ubomi bakho bunzulu kwaye bunomdla. Kufuneka ufunde ukuzonwabisa ubomi kwaye uzama ukulondoloza ulwalamano lwakho kunye nayo yonke into edibanisa nomyeni wakho.
Kodwa ukuba ubona ukuba umyeni wakho usemisiwe, ukushiya omnye umfazi, bhetele umvumele ahambe nomoya ozolile. Ungamceli ukuba ahlale kwaye amsongele, kuba uya kukushiya aze atshintshe umbono wakhe ngawe. Kodwa ukuba ubona ukuba umyeni wakho uyamanqikaza kwaye engayazi into ayifunayo, ngoko kufuneka uziphatha ngokugqithiseleyo kwaye ungenzi izenzo ezingenangqiqo.
Ngokuqhelekileyo xa uhlukana nomyeni wakho emva kokungcatshiswa, unokufumana impembelelo ebuhlotsheni bakho. Xa ukwahlukana, indoda iyaqala ukuqonda ukuba ayikwazi ukuhlala ngaphandle kwentsapho kwaye ngaphandle kwakho. Yaye uya kubuyela kuwe kwakhona kwaye akucele ukuba umxolele. Kwaye nonke ubuhlobo bakho buya kuxhomekeka kuwe kuphela, kwaye mhlawumbi, ukuba uyamxolela ngokungcatsha, ubuhlobo bakho buya kuba bhetele kuneyona ngaphambili.
Nguwe kuphela onokugqiba isigqibo sokuba ufuna unxulumano olungakumbi. Ngoku uyazi ukuba wenzeni ukuba umyeni wakho utshintshile, kwaye kufuneka uziphatha njani.