Kwaye akunjalo ngethuba: kuya kuxhomekeka ekuphatheni komnye wabo ukuba ngaba intlanganiso yesibini iya kwenzeka. Kwaye umhla wesibini, njengoko uyaziwa, ukwahlula ngethuba eliphakamileyo lokuba liqale into enzulu. Kwenzeka ntoni xa umhla wokuqala uphela kwaye ixesha elimangalisayo lokucinga malunga namanyathelo alandelayo azayo?
Ngokwezibalo, inani elingaphezulu kwama-80% labasetyhini liziphatha ngokufanayo emva komhla wokuqala: zikhohliwe kwiimpawu ezide malunga namazwi athetheweyo kwintlanganiso, imiqondiso kunye neziganeko ezikhankanywe. Emva koko, ngokuhlalutya ngokucokisekileyo iimpazamo zabo kunye nezenzo eziphumelelayo ngomhla wokuqala, lona wesifazane uhamba ukuya kwisigaba esilandelayo sokucinga ngeziphumo zentlanganiso - amava angenayo isinyathelo sokuqhubeka esivela kuye. Kodwa ukuziphatha kwakhe emva komhla wokuqala kunokungafani kakhulu, kwaye kuxhomekeke kwiimeko ezininzi, apho iingcali zengqondo zihlukanisa amaqela amathathu eempawu eziza kuthatha izenzo zamadoda ezizayo.
Ngubani intombazana kumntu?
Okokuqala, konke kuxhomekeke ekubeni ngubani lona umfazi kumntu owayenomhla wokuqala. Ukuba le nto ilinde ixesha elide elincinciweyo, intombazana ebethandana naye ixesha elide kwaye ekubuyiseleni yamkela ubuhlobo bakhe kuphela okanye iimbono ezimbalwa ezilungileyo - ngoko uhambo lwakhe emva komhla wokuqala luyinxalenye yesicwangciso esilungiselelwe ngaphambili sokuphumeza ukumkanikazi wakhe. Esi sikhokelo sale cwangciso, ezinye iziphambulelo ezivela kuludwe lwezenzo ziyavunyelwa, kodwa zancitshiswa zibe yizinto ezincinci kuphela kwiimeko. Nanku kukho imeko ebalulekileyo: ukuba umntu oye wahlala ephuphayo ngeyona nto ayengayikho konke oko wayecinga ngako, ngokuqinisekileyo uya kuqhubeka eyinqoba, kodwa akayi kukwazi ukunqoba ukunqoba kwakhe .
Inketho yesibini ngumhlobo ongaqhelekanga okanye intombazana engazange iphawule kwaye ngokukhawuleza yangena kwi-lens yayo. Ukuziphatha komntu emva komhla wokuqala kunye nomntu onokuzibandakanya kwendima yeqabane lakhe lokuphila elizayo linokuhluka kakhulu. Unokumbiza ngelinye ilanga kusihlwa, xa intlanganiso yenzeka, ukubulela ngobusuku obuhle, okanye mhlawumbi angabikho ebomini bakhe. Apha, ezi zimbini zilandelayo ziqikelela ukuziphatha komntu.
Umhla uhamba njani?
Ukuba, ngexesha lokuhamba phantsi kweenyanga zothando, bobabini bakwazi ukulibala ngokupheleleyo ngamava abo malunga nokuba kuyimfuneko ukuxoxa ngantoni na ngaphandle, ngoko omnye unokuqiniseka ukuba ubuhlobo obunjalo buya kuqhubeka. Kwaye kunokwenzeka ukuba malunga ne-90%, baya kuqalwa ngumntu. Kuye, ukukhanya ekusebenzelaneni nomfazi, kungenayo inkcazo yeengxelo ezingathandekiyo kunye namanqaku angakhathali, kubaluleke kakhulu. Kubantu, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba bavale kunye nomfazi ukuze bangaziva benganyanzelwanga yimfuneko yokuphulekisa ukuthula ngale ndlela. Ngoko ke, ukuziphatha komntu emva kwendibano, apho abathathi-nxaxheba baxhamla khona ngaphambi kwemisebe yelanga - kuqikelelwa: kungekudala okanye kamva ebomini bowesifazane, uya kubonakala ngokuqinisekileyo. Kodwa ixesha eliya kubiza ngalo - kuxhomekeke kwisithathu sesithintelo kwisigqibo somntu emva komhla wokuqala.
Iimeko zokuthatha inxaxheba kwintlanganiso.
Akunjalo umhla kunye nomfokazi, umlingane okanye umhlobo-isinyathelo esilungiselelwe indoda. Ngaphezu koko, ngokwemibare yamanani, isigqibo sokulungiselela loo ntla nganiso ngokukhawuleza kuma-68 amacala angaphezu kwekhulu. Ngako oko, akusiyo imigaqo yokuziphatha okanye ngokwenene umntu oya kumhla wokuqala ukhululekile. Unako ukucwangciswa kwiintsuku ezimbalwa ezilandelayo uhambo olubalulekileyo, okona kunokwenzeka ukuba kubekho ububi. Kanti unako ukulindelwa kwindawo ethile intombazana, ubudlelwane kunye nalo ixesha elide naluphi na olulungeleleneyo, kodwa isibindi ekuphumeni akwanele. Kule meko, ukuba umntu ufanelekile, ngoko ke uya kufuna ixesha lokubamba, ukugqiba nokuthetha naye malunga nekhefu. Ngamanye amaxesha emva komhla wokuqala umntu uqala ukunqoba iindidi, okuthi, ke, isondo esinamandla sinobunzima ngaphezu kwabasetyhini. Kule meko, ukuziphatha komntu emva kwentlanganiso kuya kuxhomekeka ngqo kwizimiselo zowesifazane oye wakwazi ukuvusa kuye ngokungathandabuzeki kuye kunye neentloni ngamazwi athethayo. Okanye ukusuka kwinto engqongeyo: ngokuqhelekileyo ubuhlobo obuhle bubusindisa ubuso phambi komhlobo ongathandabuzekiyo umhlobo onesidima sakhe kwisimo sengqondo.
Kakade ke, i-heroine yosuku lokuqala, umgangatho wentlanganiso kunye neemeko ezidibanisa amathuba omntu akuzona zonke izinto ezizimisela ukuziphatha kwakhe kwixesha elizayo. Kukho nexesha leempembelelo zeempembelelo. Phakathi kwabo, kunye nezenzo zempikiswano engaphumeleli, enokuthintela umntu ukuba aqhubeke nobudlelwane bakhe. Kwaye kwenzeka ngokukrakra, xa umntu ngokukhawuleza efumanisa ukuba ayikho into ehle kakhulu yelinye iqabane lakhe, eliyifihliweyo loo mfazi.
Enye into malunga nokuziphatha komntu kule nkqubo elukhuni, emva komhla wokuqala, unokuchazwa ngokuqinisekileyo: indoda ethandwayo iyafuna ithuba lokudibana nenjongo yokukhanga kwakhe. Kwaye ukulwa nale "radar yosesho" ayinalutho. Ngoko ke, umhla wesibini kule meko ngokuqinisekileyo - ngengozi okanye ngokukodwa, kodwa kuya kwenzeka. Kodwa oku kuphela kwimeko yokuba le ndoda yathandana nomlingane wakhe ngosuku lokuqala. Nangona kunjalo, ngokweengcali zengqondo, isishwankathelo sentlanganiso yesini esomeleleyo ayinqabile: malunga nama-60% amabhinqa athatheka ngomhla wokuqala. Enyanisweni, phakathi kwabathathi-nxaxheba abaqolileyo kwintlanganiso ye-tete-a-tete, olo thando luyabonwa kuphela kwi-28% yamatyala. Nangona kunjalo, malunga nemvelaphi yesalathisi esifanayo, kodwa kubasetyhini, kwinqanaba lika-6%, esi siphumo siyamangalisa.