Indlela yokusinda ukuwa kweentsapho? Unokufumana njani amandla okuqhubeka nokunika umntwana ubushushu kunye nomsa, nangona bacinezela amava abo? Nokuba ungayiphendula njani umbuzo obalulekileyo, oza kuwuva emva komntwana wakho umama onesizungu: uphi ubaba?
Kungakhathaliseki isizathu sokuba ukuwa kweentsapho, kuba umntwana lo mbandela uya kuhlala ephazamiseka. Ngoko ke, uninzi oomama bakhetha impendulo engaphelelekanga kubantwana babo, edlalwa ngamanga. Ngaloo ndlela, bazama ukuwakhusela kumava amatsha. Kodwa ngaba ukhetho olunjalo lungile? Emva koko, kungekudala okanye kamva umntwana uya kufuneka abhekane nenyaniso, oko kuthetha ukuba ukukhathazeka kwengqondo akunakuphetshwa kwimeko enjalo. Ngako-ke, unokuyichazela njani umntwana wakhe othandekayo ukuba kutheni engenawo uyise, ngaphandle kokunyusa imeko?
Iingcali zengqondo zicebisa ukuba zijongene nale ngxaki nazo zonke iimbopheleleko. Kuya kufuneka ufunde ngokubekezela ixesha elide kwaye ngokubekezela kutheni akukho papa. Ungabi nethemba lokuba umntwana uya kuthatha intsapho engaphelelwanga ukuba yenzeke - kwi-kindergarten okanye kwintendelezo uya kudibana nabantwana imihla ngemihla, kungekhona nje ngoomama, kodwa kunye noomalume kunye nokuzibuza ukuba kutheni engenalo malumekazi. Yilungiselele imibuzo enjalo, kwaye okokuqala - musa ukulibazisa ngeempendulo. Akuyimfuneko ukuphepha kwiintetho - ngale nto uza kutsala ingqalelo kwinkinga kwaye ubangele ukuba nemvakalelo eninzi malunga nalokhu. Kodwa musa ukuzisa ngokukhawuleza kumntwana konke okwenyaniso, njengoko kunzima njengoko kunjalo. Okokuqala, zama ukuchaza ukuba "ngezinye iimeko zenzeka" kwaye "ayikho yonke intsapho inabantwana." Musa ukulibala ukuba uxhulumano lomama phakathi komama nomntwana luqine kakhulu, ke ungabandakanyi yonke imvakalelo ephazamisayo ngokuthetha nomntwana ngezihloko ezinjalo. Nangona ukuba uyise wayenokubangela ezininzi iintlungu kwaye wakuncatshisa, khumbula ukuba umntwana akadingeki ukuba azi malunga nale nkcukacha, kwaye unomdla kwinto ehlukileyo kwangoko.
Emva kwengxoxo yokuqala, umntwana uya kuzinza ixesha elithile kwaye uya kuyaneliswa yimpendulo efunyenweyo. Kodwa ebudeni beminyaka emi-5 ukuya kweye-6 uya kuphinda azame ukubuyela kule mibuzo, kwaye impendulo yakho yangaphambili ayisayi kuhambelana naye, njengoko kunjalo. Ufuna ukwazi isizathu sokuba upapa washiya apho ukhona kwaye ingxoxo iya kuba yinkcazo. Apha umele uhambelane nomfanekiso ongathathi hlangothi wobawo-lo ngumgaqo oyintloko omele ulandele. Umzekelo, ngokuchanekileyo kwaye uchaze ngokucacileyo umntwana ukuba kwenzeke ukuba upapa kufuneka ahambe kwesinye isixeko. Gwema ukuvakalisa iimvakalelo zakho ngokuzenzekelayo! Musa ukuthetha ukuba ubawo wenza into embi - ndixelele ukuba kufuneka nje akwenze. Ukunamathela kumgca wenyaniso, zama ukuthetha loo nkcukacha engalimaza umntwana. Kubalulekile ukuba emva kokunxibelelana naye, akukho mcimbi ongazange uveze ingcinga yokuba upapa washiya intsapho, unetyala.
Nangona kunjalo, musa ukusungula iindaba zeenkcazo. Zama ukuxelela yonke into njengoko kunjalo, njengamazwi alula kwaye afumaneka kunokwenzeka, uhlalise ezo nkcukacha ezinokulimaza umntwana. Emva kwexesha elithile uya kukhula kwaye uya kuba elungele ukufumana ulwazi olutsha, sele sele eqonda ngokugqithiseleyo kwaye engaphantsi kancinci. Ubuncinane uya kuhluthwa isidingo sokuqonda ukuba kutheni waqamba amanga kuye, kwaye awuyi kuva necala, ngenxa yokuba uye wahlala ethembekile naye.
Kodwa kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuba kungakhathaliseki ukuba unomama onjani, umntwana uya kuhlala efuna isandla somntu oqinileyo, kwaye ngaphandle kwendoda engenakuyenza. Makhe lo mntu abe ngumhlobo wakhe wosapho, umntakwenu, umntwana wakhe, kwaye ke ukungabikho kobuntakwabo kuyakumkhathaza. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba uthathele ingqalelo le mzuzu kwimfundo yabafana.
Indlela yokuchaza ngayo unyana, kutheni kungekho ntata? Ukukhulisa umntwana yedwa kunzima kakhulu. Ngoko ke, ukuba ufanele uthathe isinyathelo esibalulekileyo nesinyanisekileyo, khumbula ukuba ungumfazi oqinileyo. Makube mfuneko ukujongana nobunzima obuninzi, wazi ukuba unako ukujamelana nazo. Ukwenza nayiphina impazamo, ungazigxeka, kuba akukho mntu uphelele. Ungesabi ukwenza njengoko intliziyo ikuxelela, kuba akukho mntu uphezulu kunokuba ungenakufumana indlela yokudlulisela into kumntwana wakho. Singafuna kuphela umonde kunye nenhlanhla kulo msebenzi onzima.