Ixesha labafundi akuphela nje iminyaka emihlanu kuphela, xa "ukusuka kwiseseshoni ukuya kwiseshoni abafundi bahlala bevuya". Oku, kunjalo, lixesha lokuthanda. Kwenzeka ukuba iimvakalelo ezinzulu zikhokelela ekuphethweni kwazo-umtshato. Usapho lwabafundi - lungile okanye lubi? Yaye njani loo ntsapho ihluke kwabanye? Kwaye kwahluke? Funda zonke iimpendulo ngezantsi.
Kwisiqingatha sesibini seXIX neRashiya, iminyaka yobudala yomtshato yayiyiminyaka eyi-13 ukuya ku-16 kumantombazana, iminyaka eyi-17 ukuya kubafana. Namhlanje iminyaka eyi-18 ukuya kweye-22 (iminyaka yobufundi beyunivesithi) ithathwa njengento yokuqala kakhulu emtshatweni. Kutheni? Abantu baqala ukukhula kancinci? Kwaye mhlawumbi akukho kwi-physiology, kwengqondo okanye imeko yezemali? Mhlawumbi inyaniso yokuba "abafundi baqala ukutshata"? Masizame ukuyifumanisa.
Kuphi ukukhawuleza?
Ngoko kutheni ukuba intsapho ilungile kwaye intsapho yomfundi imbi?
UAlexei, oneminyaka engama-46 ubudala.
Yiyiphi yabafundi yintsapho? Ngabantwana ngokwenene! Ukongezelela, akukho zindlu, akukho mali! Ewe, akukho ntloko kumagxa! Ngethuba lethu, abatsha abantu bebanzulu kakhulu, banokuzinyamekela. Kwaye ngoku? Baza kubeletha umntwana, baya kuxhoma abazali babo entanyeni yabo, kwaye abazi ukuba buhlungu. Ewe, abazali baya kunceda! Kodwa ngaba abantwana bacinga ntoni xa bebeletha abantwana babo? Oku, ukuba ndingathetha njalo, "umfazi", nokuba i-pasta ayikwazi ukubilisa! Kwaye akafuni. Ngaba le yintsapho?
Umbono onjalo, ochazwe ngummeli wesizukulwana esidala, mhlawumbi awumangalisi. Kodwa kuvela ukuba ukugatywa kweqela lokugqibela komtshato kwiminyaka yabafundi kubonakala kunxalenye ebalulekileyo yabafundi banamhlanje ngokwabo. Bafuna kuqala ukufezekisa ukuzimela kwezozinto kwaye emva koko bakha intsapho.
UJulia, oneminyaka eli-19 ubudala.
Ngokunyanisekileyo, andiyiqondi isizathu sokuba ndifanele nditshatile ngexesha lam izifundo. Ngaba awukwazi ukulinda? Emva koko, akukho mntu ulela ukudibana nomntu othandekayo. Kwaye intsapho ehlala kwi-scholarship, ngokuchaza, ayiyi kuvuya. Kukho uvuyo, xa kungekho nto yokuhlala kwaye akukho ndawo yokuhlala kuyo. Andikuthetha ngezinto ezilungileyo kunye nokuzonwabisa okuthakazelisayo. Kwaye abantwana ... Lapha, ngokuqinisekileyo, wonke umntu uyazikhethela yena, kodwa andiyi kuzala nantoni na de ndiyigqibe iziko kwaye ayiyi kufumana umvuzo ozinzile. Umyeni - namhlanje, kodwa kungengomso. Indlela yokukhulisa umntwana kumfundi-ntombazana? Kodwa yena uxanduva lomntwana wakhe.
Uninzi lwabantu abaselula ekuqaleni kobomi babo bosapho lujamelene neengxaki abaye bakuva ngaphambili, kodwa abazange bacinge ukuba kuya kufuneka bazisombulule:
■ ukungabikho kwezakhono zokugcina indlu;
■ ukungahlambuluki kwentlalo;
■ Ukungabikho kwezibonelelo kunye nezindlu zezindlu (akuzona zonke izikolo ezibonelela ngendawo yokuhlala yeentsapho);
■ ukungahambelani nokufunda kwikoyunivesiti kunye nokusebenza kwemisebenzi yentsapho (ingakumbi oomama abancinci kufuneka batshintshele kwiSebe leenkcukacha okanye baye kwikhefu lokufunda);
■ kuxhomekeke kakhulu kubazali, ingakumbi ngemali, kunye nokunakekelwa kwabantwana.
Ayikho umfanekiso ovuyayo. Nangona kunjalo, nangona ukukhanyela okunjalo ukutshatyalaliswa kwemitshato yomfundi yedwa, abanye bayaqiniseka ukuba usapho lwabafundi ...
Akukho mbi ngaphezu kwabanye!
Ngaphezu koko, isimo sengqondo kwiintsapho zabafundi abavela kubazali, ukulawulwa kwamaziko emfundo ephakamileyo kunye noluntu ngokubanzi luguquka ngendlela efanelekileyo. Iba nzima.
UAndreya, oneminyaka engama-26 ubudala.
Ngokombono wam, iintsapho zabafundi azifani nakwabanye. Emva kwakho konke, abafundi - abanengqondo kakhulu nangokomoya, baqala ukufumana umtshato. Mhlawumbi iphosakeleyo xa umntwana olandelayo eba ngumbangela womtshato. Kodwa ndichasene ngokupheleleyo nokukhupha isisu. Nangona ubukho bendalo bobantwana, mhlawumbi, abuyincede. Kuphela yindoda ihlala isisombululo kwiimviwo ukuba, bathi, umntwana uncinci, umfazi usemncinci kunye nayo yonke into. Ngendlela, ukuba abasandul 'ukutshata banokufunda kwi-faculty efanayo, banokukuncedana ekufundeni. Kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo, ukuba abantu bathandana ngokwenene, ngoko bahlala ehlombe.
UOksana, oneminyaka engama-22 ubudala.
Kwimi, umbuzo othi "Ukuba okanye ungayi kuba yintsapho yabafundi?" Akufanelekanga nhlobo. Nditshatile ngomnyaka wesithathu, kwaye unyana wam uneminyaka eyi-6 ubudala. Kwaye andizange ndizisole nantoni. Ingaba yinto yokuba umntwana wayengenakukwazi ukucwangcisa, ngaphandle koko ndiza kuphila ngendlela enempilo. Ngoku ndifunda, umyeni wam wathumela kwiibhalwano kwaye usebenza. Ngokomgaqo, sinemali eyaneleyo. Ewe, kukho iingxaki. Ngubani na onayo? Njengoko uphumelele kwiziko - kunye nayo yonke into, imifula yobisi, iifom. Abaqeqeshi abancinci abade kuba nomvuzo ophezulu kunye neendlu zabo-kwikamva elikude. Ukuzinza kwezezimali kunye neengqondo azifizi ngokukhawuleza, kwaye kungenjalo. Ukuba ngoku, kwiminyaka yomfundi, kungekhona ukuzala, kuya kuba nezizathu ezininzi zokuyeka. Ukongezelela, xa umntwana usakhula, ndiza kuba siselula, ndibe ngumntwana wam ngumama onobuhle, kodwa nomhlobo.
Ngenxa yoko, kusekho iintsapho zabafundi kunye neenzuzo zabo:
■ ulutsha (kwaye ngoko, iminyaka yabafundi) -xesha elifanelekileyo kwiimeko zokuphila nomoya wengqondo yomtshato kunye nokuzalwa komntwana wokuqala;
■ umtshato uhlala ulunge ngaphezu kobudlelwane obusenyongweni obungaphantsi, olusasazeka kwindawo yolutsha;
■ Abafundi bentsapho banzulu kakhulu malunga nezifundo zabo kunye nomsebenzi wabo okhethiweyo;
■ imeko yomtshato inefuthe elizuzayo kwiinkalo zexabiso lomfundi, igalelo ekuphuhlisweni kweemfuno zengqondo nezentlalo;
■ Imitshato egqityiweyo kwiminyaka yeekholeji yimiba amaninzi ichazwe ngumgangatho ophezulu wokubambisana ngokusekelwe kumalungu omtshato kwiqela elithile lentlalo, ebonakaliswa ngumdla oqhelekileyo, i-subculture ethile kunye nendlela yokuphila.
Kubonakala ukuba abafundi abadala intsapho baneengxaki enye - uxanduva. Ngomphefumlo wakho umlingane, usana (sele luvele lubonakala, lucwangcisiwe okanye lungenakulungiswa) kunye nekamva lakho. Isizukulwana esidala singaqiniseki ukuba abafundi bayakwazi ukuthatha injalo (kwaye ngokukodwa ubuninzi) uxanduva kwaye bakhona ngaphandle komnye umntu (ingakumbi ngaphandle komzali) uncedo. Kodwa musa ukumgxeka ngenxa yale ngxaki. Emva koko, abantu abatsha banqwenela ukukhawuleza isigqibo seengxaki "zabantu abadala" kamva. Mhlawumbi, oku kuchanileyo. Kodwa inyaniso kukuba kukho inani elikhulu labantu abadala, abanjelwe abantu abangenako ukugqiba kwisinyathelo esibalulekileyo. Abantu abanemoto, indlu kunye nomsebenzi omhle. Kodwa ukudala intsapho, bonke bayasweleka into. Mhlawumbi isibindi? Kuthiwani ukuba ayifumaneki?
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, unokwenza "umphumo wobungqina" be "abadala." Ndiza kutshata, ndibelethe umntwana. Kwaye ke, ndingumdala! Kodwa intsapho ayiyinto yefestile, kungekhona iphupha elipinki. Okukuqala kokuqinisekiswa komntu ngamnye ngokuzimela, ukulungele ukujamelana neengxaki zemihla ngemihla. Kuphela oku kunjalo, mhlawumbi, kungekhona kakhulu kwiminyaka yobudala. Inyaniso kukuba, umntu unembopheleleko kangakanani kwinqanaba lakhe, ingaba uvakalelwa iimvakalelo ezinyanisekileyo, nokuba ufuna "ukuba kunye kunye nokugula kunye nempilo, ubutyebi kunye nentlupheko ..." ngamazwi nakwizenzo? " Yaye ukuba uyafuna, unokuba ngumdala umqobo? Emva koko, oomalume omdala kunye nootata nabo benza iimpazamo.
Mamela intliziyo yakho. Ukuvavanya ngokusemandleni abo. Yaye yonke into iya kuhamba kakuhle nawe. Ngomfundi kunye neminyaka elandelayo.