Xa uneminyaka engaphantsi kwe-3 ubudala, kusasa kakhulu ukuthetha malunga neengxaki. Apha kufuneka ucinge ngeendlela zemfundo. Umntwana osanda kuzalwa kufuneka ahlangabezane neemfuno, ngexesha elide, kufuneka ahlangabezane neminqweno. Kwaye zonke iingxaki ziqala. Abazali kubalulekile ukuba bangaphutheli umzuzu xa umntwana engadingi kuphela, kodwa ufuna.
Ayibangeli ubunzima ukuhlangabezana neemfuno zomntwana, kodwa iminqweno ayinakwenzeka. Umntwana uhlaziyekile, uqala ukuhlambalaza, ebonakalisa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo - uhlasela ngeentonga zakhe, ngokubonakalayo elele emgangathweni, ephule kwaye ephonsa amathoyizi, ahlambe iinyawo zakhe, amemeza kunye nokunye. Kwaye phambi kwabazali kukho umbuzo omdala othi "Yintoni enokuyenza?", Emva koko bathatha indlela yokuzikhethela - ukuzithobela okanye kungekhona i-whims yomntwana. Abazali abaninzi ukwenzela ukuba umntwana ahlalise, khetha indlela yokuvuma, kwaye ke ukhethe indlela eyingozi kakhulu. Umntwana uhlakulela umkhwa-nangayiphi na indlela yokufezekisa ukuzaliseka kweminqweno yakhe. Abazali bafanele baqonde ngokwabo ukuba kubalulekile ukuba bayeke ukuba "nomusa", kwaye kungekuphela nje ixesha lokuzibandakanya, kodwa ukuba banqande.
Simele simelane nemigaqo ethile:
1. Zama ukunyaniseka kwizwi lakho. Ukuba uxelele umntwana ukuba awufezekisi umnqweno wakhe, ngoko kufuneka uhlale wedwa. Kodwa ukuba uthembisa into ethile, ngoko, nokuba kunzima kangakanani, isithembiso sifanele sigcwaliseke;
2. Zigcine ngesandla;
3. Musa ukuya kwii-intonations eziphakamileyo, nokuba unomsindo ngeengcingo zomntwana. Nangona ungeke ucatshukiswe yindlela yokuziphatha engabonakaliyo yomntwana, yenzani ngokukhawuleza, mxelele ukuba akayi kuzuza nantoni na ngokumemeza. Ukuba abahlaziyi beyanda, zama ukumbamba umntwana, makenze ukuba uzive unothando lwakho. Kwiingxoxo kunye nomntwana, bonise uvakalelo lwenene: "Ewe, ndiyayiqonda, kwaye ndibuhlungu kakhulu ...";
4. Musa ukujika ube ngumkhuhlane
Khuthaza nokubulisa ukuzimela komntwana. Qala kunye naye umdlalo odibeneyo, okwangaphambi koko awuzange umenze umdla, kwaye xa umntwana engumlutha kumdlalo, makabe edlala ixesha elithile eyedwa.
Kuthekani ukuba umntwana engayithobeli?
Akunakwenzeka ukuphepha ukubhikisha, ungafunda ukunciphisa inani leengxabano. Emva koko, ukungathobeli okunjalo kwenzelwe umphumo wangaphandle, kwaye ukuba ngaba abazali basabela ngokuchanekileyo, le mibhikisho ingancitshiswa. Emva koko, umntwana akawuthobeli: xa ephoqelelwa ukwenza into afune ukuyenza, okanye akavunyelwe ukwenza oko akufunayo.
Intsana ixelelwe ukuba ihambe ekhaya ngokuhamba, kwaye ibambelela ezinyaweni nasezandleni kuyo yonke into ukuhamba nje; Waxelelwa ukuba adle, kodwa uphendulela intloko aze agxume amazinyo akhe ngamandla. Ngaloo ndlela, uyaqhankqalaza ngokumalunga nomyalelo, ophulaphula umnqweno wengane.
Abantu abadala kufuneka bafunde ngexesha lokuthintela ukuhlaselwa kwenkani nokukhusela kumntwana. Zonke iinzame zabazali kufuneka zijoliswe ekususeni ukuxhatshazwa. Kucacile ngokucacileyo ulawulo lwaloo mini, umoya ovakalayo wendlu, igunya labazali liya kunceda ukujamelana nokuhlaselwa koqhankqalazo. Ingane kufuneka ixelelwe ukuba iyayifuna, ukuba iyathandwa kwaye ngexesha elifanayo inika umntwana ukuzimela ngokwaneleyo.
Abazali kufuneka babe ngokukhawuleza ukunyanzelisa ukuziphatha, izenzo kunye nomonde. Umntwana akufanele abekwe kwisigxina okanye isixa sonke sokumnika. Bobabini baya kubangela ukungathobeli komntwana.
Ngamanye amaxesha abantwana abaphulaphuli ngenxa yokuba bachithekile. Kuyenzeka xa abazali bekhusela amaninzi, kodwa, umzekelo, ugogo ugqibezela yonke into. Oku akunako ukuvunyelwa-umntu ongenakulungelelwa ubomi uya kukhula. Musa ukuthobela kwaye ube nengqiqo, kunye nebhokhwe, oqala ukugula, ngoko abazali kufuneka baqaphele ngokuziphatha komntwana.
Abantwana beminyaka yobudala, ngenxa yeempawu zesimiso seentlanzi, abanakuhlala behlala bodwa, njengoko abadala befuna oko. Ezi zinto zifuna ukubangeleka kwinkqubo yokuqhaqhafaza kunye nokukhokelela kwiinkalo ezahlukeneyo zokuziphatha. Ngenkqubo enjalo yokukhulisa, abantwana bayacaphuka.
Ngokuphindaphindiweyo ekuphenduleni iimfuno ezingenakubekezelelwa ukuba zinciphise iintshukumo zabo, abantwana baphendula ngokukhwabanisa kwintlanzi yabo, bafuna ukuba bafune, baziphose phantsi, batshale iinyawo zabo. Ngokuqhelekileyo abantwana abanjalo bafezekisa babo - kungekhona wonke unina, umama, unokumelana nokuhlaselwa okunjalo. Yaye le nkxalabo iya kukuxabisa kakhulu: umntwana uya kuqonda ukuba uyakwazi ukufezekisa yonke into enomlinganiselo othile wokunyamezela.
Indlela yokuphuma yinto yokuba umntwana kubalulekile ukudala iimeko ezikhuselekileyo zomsebenzi, kuba ukunyakaza kuyimfuno yakhe yomzimba. Kwaye abazali bafuna ubuchule obuninzi. Yibambisane nomntwana, udlale kunye nayo, unike ixesha elifanelekileyo kunye neengqalelo eziyimfuneko, kwaye ngoko unako ukufezekisa ngaphezu kokuba uhlala uvimba kwaye unciphise ukubonakaliswa komsebenzi kumntwana.
Iintshukumo ezingumntwana ziziphatha ngumntwana ongahambi ngaphaya kwesiqhelo, kodwa unikeza iingxaki ezininzi zabantu abadala. Umntwana ngamnye unobuntu bakhe, umlingiswa wakhe, kwaye ubonakalisa ngokuziphatha okungafanelekanga.
Iindali zentsana ziyakunqandwa ngokuphelisa umthombo wokuziphatha okungathandekiyo. Umzekelo, xa ulala ubuthongo, umntwana uqala ukukhonkqoza ngesibhedlele sakhe, ukuguqula. Ibhedi kufuneka ibekwe ngendlela engadingi ngayo.
Nangona umntwana ongathobeliyo esemncinci ufuna ukuqonda kwiintsapho zakhe. Kungcono ukucela umntwana ukuba akuxelele kutheni wakwenza. Le ndlela yokunxibelelana (kwaye ayiyilo isohlwayo!) Uya kunceda umntwana aqonde ukuba wayengafanelekanga.
Ukuba inkunzi emva komdlalo ayisususi iityshi emva kwayo, kufuneka uyibeke kwibhokisi uze uyifihle. Kungekudala okanye kamva umntwana uya kuqonda ukuba xa ephonsa amathoyizi, unokuhlala ngaphandle kwemidlalo ayithandayo. Ukuba umntwana uya kukrazula izinto kwiilayile, kufuneka uguqule izinto ukuze zingenakufikeleleka kumntwana okanye ukhiye kwikhabhinethi. Yaye unako, ngokuphendula kwi-vagaries, ungene kwelinye igumbi kwaye ungayithobeli umntwana ongenamdla, kodwa oku kuya kuthatha ixesha elininzi. Umntwana oneminyaka engama-2-3 ubudala akanakucacisa izenzo zakhe, kwaye abantu abadala bayazibona ukuziphatha kwakhe ngokungathobeli.
Kukho ama-3 amanyathelo alandelayo ngokulandelelana kwabazali bomntwana abangayithobeliyo:
1. Ukuba umntwana engathobeli, kuyimfuneko ukumnika ithuba lokuziyeka;
2. Ukuba umntwana uyaqhubeka ehlazo kwaye engazinzi, abazali kufuneka bafake isicelo sakhe kwisijeziso abasithembisile kulo mzekelo;
3. Emva kwesigwebo umntwana kufuneka ukuba uchaze isizathu sokuba ajeziswe.
Ezi nyathelo ekugqibeleni ziza kubangela ukuba inkunzi enomdla kakhulu iya kucingisisa ngaphambi kokwenza into engagunyaziswanga.
Namela umntwana, kwaye ababeleki bakhe baya kukwazi ukuphepha iingxaki ezininzi kunye neengxabano ezingenako umntwana. Emva koko, kubakho ukuba abantwana baqhuba izenzo ezimbi kuphela ngenxa yokuba bethanda ingqalelo kubazali babo. Kwaye ngenxa yeso sizathu umntwana kufuneka adunyiswe ngenxa yesenzo esingabalulekanga. Emva koko, ufuna ukwenza okulungileyo, kwaye angenzi into embi, ayenzayo ngokumelene nabazali.
Ngoku siyazi into enokuyenza xa umntwana engenanto, akayithobeli. Chaza ukuba umntwana wakho ngumntu olawulayo, yena, unjengawe, unamalungelo akhe, imisebenzi, kodwa ayikho enkulu.