Ngaphandle kokuba emva kobudlelwane budlulile, kwenzeka ukuba loo mfana oselula wayeyintombazana ephupheni. Ukuba oko kwenzeka ngexesha eliqhelekileyo, kodwa namhlanje le nto intombazana ayikhumbuli ngento leyo, ngoko oku kunokuqaphela.
Omnye unokubona uphawu kulo. Ngaphambi kokuba sicinge ngezinto abantu basekuqaleni abaphuphayo ngazo, umntu kufuneka aphendule lo mbuzo: ziphi iimvakalelo ezibonakala emehlweni omntu obiza kwixesha elidlulileyo. Ukuphendula lo mbuzo, ngamanye amaxesha uya kuqonda ukuba kutheni i-former wayesebenza ephupheni. Kwaye inqaku elo lilokuba iphupha elinjalo lithetha ukuba umntu owayengumfana osemantombazaneni uthetha kakhulu. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba intombazana yazama ukugxotha njani le ngcamango, kungakhathaliseki ukuba wazama ukufihla njani iimvakalelo zakhe, i-subconscious inikeza uphawu lokuba into kufuneka iyenze. Mhlawumbi ukwahlukana kwakubangelwa kubuyatha, kodwa mhlawumbi intombazana izisola ngekhefu. Ngandlela-thile, i-subconscious iphambisa umntu ukuba athathe isinyathelo esinqumayo. Mhlawumbi, kuyimfuneko ukunqoba ukuzingca kwaye wenze isigqibo kwisinyathelo sokuqala, kwisinyathelo sokuqala ukuya kulwalamano olutsha nomntu owayesithandayo.
Kodwa kukho imeko ehluke ngokupheleleyo: intombazana isele ilwalamano olutsha, uyonwabile, kodwa umthandi wangaphambili ufike ebusuku. Kule meko, mhlawumbi, iinkumbulo zamandulo zangomnye nje umbutho okanye uphawu.
Fumana oko uphupha ngamaphupha endoda endala malunga nale nqaku
Kutheni le nkwenkwe yangaphambili iphupha?
Ukuze unqume ukuba ngaba kunjalo, kufuneka ucinge ngomntu owayengumntu kwaye unqume okokuqala kuqala engqondweni kwingcamango yakhe. Mhlawumbi kuya kuba yindoda yesondo. Emva koko amaphupha anjalo aya kubonisa ngokucacileyo ukuba ngobudlelwane bokwenene intombazana ayinalo uthando nokuthandana. Kodwa kule meko, umlingane owayesakuba ngumlingani, ngokubanzi, akakho konke, uyisimboli sesini. Nangona kunjalo, oku kubonisa ukuba intombazana kufuneka ithathe ukujonga ngokutsha ubuhlobo bakhe kunye nomfana osele, ngokukodwa abahlobo. Mhlawumbi umntu kufuneka acinge ngeentlobo ezahlukeneyo, ukuzithengisa kunye nokulinga.
Esinye isizathu sinokuba nolwalamano olungapheliyo. Ukuba ephupheni ubudlelwane bubucatshulwa ngokucacileyo, intombazana icatshukiswa, ihlazo lento ethile, ngoko ke ukuba ubuhlobo abuzange buziswe kwisigqibo esivakalayo, kwakungekho nto.
Kufuneka ukuba ukhumbule, kunokubakho ukungena phantsi, ukufihlela amaqhekeza. Kule meko, ingqondo engacingiyo izama ukuyeka ukungahambi kakuhle, kodwa ingqondo ayivumeli.
Iphupha elinjalo livela ngokukodwa xa ukuhlukana kubangelwa yiphoso lentombazana kwaye uyayibona. Kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba umntu owayengumthandi naye unokubona le ndlela yamaphupha. Ukubeka ingongoma kukhokelela ekubambeni ukuba bobabini amaqabane bafuna ukugqiba ukufumana ubuhlobo, makube ubuncinane ephupheni. Ukuba amaphupha ayenjalo, ngoko intombazana kufanele ikhulume ngokubambisana kunye nabangaphambili kwaye ingxaki iza kuxazululwa.
Kwenzeka ukuba umfana osempilweni aphuphe ngokubonakala. Oku kunokuba utshintsho oluncinane ekubonakaleni, kodwa kungenzeka ukuba ugula ngento ethile. Iphupha elinjalo lidla ngokuthetha ngenguqu ebomini, kwaye ziyakwenzeka zombini kwintombazana, kunye nobomi bomntu owayesithandayo. Mhlawumbi, iindaba ziya kuvela kuye. Iphupha elinjalo ngamanye amaxesha lithetha ngeentlanganiso ezizayo zababandakanyekayo kunye nendlela esiya kufikelela ngayo le ntla nganiso.
Ewe, ukhetho lokugqibela: iphupha kunye nomntu wangaphambili - liphupha nje kwaye akukho nto. Ngamanye amaxesha imemori iphonsa imemori eyahlukeneyo yeemeko ezidlulileyo, ezingasabangela nayiphi na imvakalelo. Ngokomzekelo, isizathu sokuba amanqaku angama-nostalgic ayenokubukwa kweefoto zangaphambili, apho isibini esasivuyayo sibhala. Okanye mhlawumbi kwindawo ethile intombazana eyamthanda i-cologne eyithandayo okanye ivile ingoma eyithandayo. Kukho nawuphi na, nayiphi na isizathu esisizathu sokukhumbula, asitsho ukuba intombazana enqwenela ukuba iqabane layo lifuna ukudibanisa naye. Ezi zikhumbuzo ezintle kwaye ziyamnandi zobomi obudlulileyo, kwaye i-subconscious kuphela "imiqulu" yeziganeko ephupheni.
Olunye uhlobo lweengxabano malunga nezophupha akufanele ziphakame: amaphupha awangaphambili kuphela ngenxa yokuba intombazana yayishiya imkumbulo eninzi ngaye. Kwixesha elizayo, yonke into izakulibala ngokuthe ngcembe, kuya kuba neemeko ezintsha kunye neemvakalelo eziza kugqitha elidala kwaye amaphupha aya kulahleka.
