Intombazana nganye ibeka iinjongo ezithile ebomini bayo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, yonke into iqala nothando, ngoko umntu othandekayo, abantwana, umsebenzi kunye nezinye izinto. Ngokomgaqo, umfanekiso ucacile, phantse bonke banentonga efanayo. Akukuphela nje ukuba kukho konke oku, kubalulekile ukuba konke oku okwenene, okwenene, okuxabisekileyo. Emva koko akuyi kubakho ukuphendulela kumbuzo, obizwa ngokuba yi-psychology: usapho olonwabileyo. Emva koko, ngokuqhelekileyo ebomini kunzima kakhulu kunokuba kukho iincwadi.
Nangona iimeko zonke iingxaki zomtshato zihlala zikhona kwaye zihlala zilindele phantse yonke intsapho yesithathu, kodwa iintsapho ezivuyayo zikhona kwaye zikhona. Njengoko i-psychology ithi, intsapho iyavuya ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo, ngenxa yokuba iintsapho zihluke. Ngelo xesha, ulonwabo lubonakaliswa ngokulinganayo. Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuba ufunde imimiselo yomtshato womntu omtshato osenomtshato ocolileyo? Ukuba kunjalo, kuya kufakwa ngokukhawuleza ukuba yeyiphi inyathelo kufuneka ithathwe. Ngaba ufuna ukuchitha imali kwimimangaliso engazange uyenze yona, kodwa kumntu obathandayo, kwaye uye kumhlobo wakho womlingane, nokuba awufuni ukwenza njalo? Nonke nenza njengoko ufuna! Umtshato wakho awuyi kuba nje ixesha elide, kodwa unamandla. Intsapho enonwabile ngokwenene ayifuni ukuzithoba kumlingane, okanye ukuthobela ngokupheleleyo. Izicwangciso ezidibeneyo kunye nezolonwabo, amaphupha abuxabisekileyo, okanye ukuphumla - zixesha elibalulekileyo ekudalweni kwintsapho enobungane kunye nobungane.
Ubomi ngaphandle kwamazwi.
Ngokutsho kwengqondo, isibini esitshatileyo esitshatileyo sibini apho kungekho mntu uhlambalazana ngamazwi. Kodwa oku akusiyo yonke uluhlu. Kubudlelwane esibini esitshatileyo babenomfudumalo, ngaphandle koko, bahlala ixesha elide, ukwenza ukuba naziphi na izimvo zifuna ngokucokisekileyo. Bobabini bomtshato kufuneka babe ngabanye abadibanisi. Ngaba ufuna ukugxeka? Kungcono ukwenza oku ukwenzela ukuba i-addressee echasene nxamnye nxamnye nxamnye. Ukubonakalisa ukunganeliseki kwakhe, okanye ukugxekwa, ukugxeka okungaphantsi kwebango, inqaku lingaphazamisa yonke into. Akunakuze kubekho ukuhlambalaza umlingane, kwaye ukukhathazeka ngaye, ukuziva uxolo kuye, kuyafaneleka. Emva kwenkcazo embi, indoda yakho ayiyi kufumana inzame kangangoko kunokwenzeka, ukwenzela ukuba intanda yakhe ayidabuki, ngokukodwa ukukhala.
Ulwabiwo-mali.
Esinye sezizathu ezongezelelweyo zeengxaki zentsapho yimali. Iqabane lichitha ixesha elininzi, kodwa umyeni wakhe ufumana encinane. Kungcono ukuwahambisa ngokubambisana nangokuthula, ngaphandle kwegama elingenanto, ukuze imali ingabi yinto yokungahambisani kwakho. Ukufumana ubunzima bezezimali, iintsapho ezivuyoleyo ziyakwazi ngokupheleleyo, kodwa kubalulekile ukuzisombulula ngokungqinelanayo. Ukugxininisa ingqwalasela ephambili kubani abanakho kunye nokuba bangakanani abafumanayo, akuyimfuneko. Imali iza kuhlahlo lwabiwo-mali, iya kwizinto ezilungileyo zentsapho. Ngokwemvelo, indoda ayikwazi ukuhlala ekhaya, ngelixa lingenzi nto, okanye umfazi akanako ukuyisebenzisa kakhulu. Kubalulekile ukulungelelanisa izenzo zabo ngezenzo omnye nomnye, ngelixa bebonisa ukuzithemba.
Umyeni ngowona mhlobo mhle kakhulu.
Umfazi ubhetele ukuba acinge nje umthandi olungileyo, okanye umcebisi, kodwa naye ungumhlobo omhle. Isimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo kumlingane sakhiwa yintsapho evuya kakhulu. I-psychologist eyaziwayo egama linguJohn Tottman weza kubungqina bokuba isiseko sobudlelwane bobuhlobo obuhle sibonakala sibuhlobo. Akukho imfuneko ukuphendulela kwimithombo yamanye amazwe ukuqonda oku. Kwaye ubulumko bulumko uthi awukwazi ukusika ubuhlobo obunamandla kunayo nayiphi na i-ax. Ukuchasana akukona ububele ngokwesini ngobuhlobo obuqinileyo, kunye nolwalamano lwentsapho. Ngokusemgangathweni, kufana nokuthintela ubungane. Ukuhleka phezu komhlobo, okanye udlale naye, nokuba utyhilele imimiselo yakhe esemqoka.
Uvuyo ebomini obusondeleyo.
Ingcamango yokuba xa ubulili abukho yonke into eyahlukeneyo, kuyimfuneko ukubetha i-alamu yangempela, okanye ukuba intsapho ingonwabile, kubakho ubukho phakathi kwezibini. Iingcali zenzululwazi zithandwa ngakumbi ukuba ukuba aba baqabane abanqwenela ukutshintsha izikhundla zabo zesini, sinokuthi banelisekile ngabo bonke abalamano obusondeleyo. Ungazama iindlela ezintsha kunye nokuzama. Ngaba abantu bathandana xa bekhathalelana? Ngoko isondo asikwazi ukuba ngumsebenzi oqhelekileyo. Ibhinqa elifanelekileyo lifanele likwazi ukuhambisa umlingane, kunye nendlela yokuziphatha ebantwini okanye ekhaya. Ukunciphisa umlingane akuvumelekanga. Unako, umzekelo, isitye iliso, ngelixa udibanisa iinwele. Le ndlela iya kukuxelela ngokuzithemba kowesifazane, ukuzithemba ngesini kunye nobuhle bakhe.
Thetha omnye nomnye.
Intsapho eyonwabileyo ayikwazi ukuba njalo xa zonke izikhalazo ezinganeliseki zigcinwa ngaphakathi. Kungcono ukuthetha ngeengxaki ezinomgangatho omnqweno kunokuba uzihlaziye kwaye ungabonakali. Funda ukuphulaphula iqabane lakho, ungaphazamisi. Ukunyusa umntu, ukuba ngokukhawuleza unento engalunganga, akufanelekanga, kungcono ukuba unikele ngombono ohlukileyo, uthethe ngemiphumo engenzeka. Ukuthula akubangeli intloni, ihamba kunye nokumomotheka okumnandi? Oku kuthetha ukuba ngeendlebe zeentombi zinovuyo ziyaqonda kwaye zingenamagama ahlukeneyo. Ngaba ucinga ukuba kukho ukuqonda phakathi kwentsapho yakho? Jonga indlela obabini abamba ngayo izandla. Ngaba iminwe yakho ihlangene? Kungenzeka ukuba intsapho iyavumelana ngokuvisisana.
Nwabe nomyeni wakho othandekayo, othandekayo, othandekayo. Yaye zonke iintlobo zeengxaki zivumeleke zikushiye kwaye zize zikhohlwe umzila. Kwaye abayi kuphazamisa wena kunye nosapho lwakho olonwabileyo.