Imithetho yokukhanga, okanye sifuna ntoni ukufumana "ubuso" bobulili obuhlukile?

Imbali yolwalamano oluqilileyo phakathi kwendoda kunye nomfazi wazalwa nangokuqala kokuqhutyelwa kwengqondo kwizintlu zethu ezikude kumawaka eminyaka edlulileyo. Ngomntu, imbali yobudlelwane phakathi kwabafana bakhe nayo yaguquka. Kodwa, nangona imbali ende yolu lwalamano, iimvakalelo kunye neemvakalelo kubantu besini esahlukileyo zisekelwe kwimvelo nemigaqo yemithetho yabo yakudala.

Ngoku umntu uhlakulela iimfuno ezingaphezulu, ngaphezulu okumele ukuba yinto eqhelekileyo kumlingane wakhe. I-Psychology iyazama ukusifaka kwihlabathi elitsha, imithetho yamanga, imithetho kunye neengcamango. Ngamnye wethu uqala ukulibala malunga neemfuno zabo eziyinyani, ezifakwe kwiijethi nakwixesha elidlulileyo. Kodwa kungakhathaliseki ukuba uluntu nolwazi lweengqondo alukhuthazi njani, imvelo iya kuhlala isichazela izigqibo zayo ekukhethweni kwanoma imiphi imithwalo yabantu okanye iimfuno, nangona kunjalo ngokobudlelwane phakathi kwezi zesini zesini.

Ngoko, makhe sizame ukuqonda nawe indlela ubomi bomntu kunye nomfazi obutshintshile ngayo (ukuba kukho konke) ukususela ngexesha lokuqala kokuzalwa kwayo? Ngenxa yale nto ndiyicetyisela ukuba idibanise ngokukhawuleza izigaba eziphambili zobomi kunye nolwalamano kumaqela ahlukeneyo kunye namacandelo. Naliphi na ibali leendoda nelikazi liqala ngokuthandana.

Emva koko ulandela uhlalutyo olunzulu kunye nokuvavanya komnye nomnye. Ukuba konke kuhamba kakuhle, isi sibini siya kwisinyathelo esilandelayo-singena kwisondlo kwaye sihlala kunye. Yile ndlela ibali lobudlelwane obuyimpumelelo phakathi kwendoda eyindoda kunye nesetyhinikazi esakhiwayo. Kwaye kwakunjengento yonke eyakhiwa kula maxesha amandulo, apho sibala khona ukuqala kobudlelwane ngokubanzi! Yonke into iyafana! Umntu, njengangaphambili, ukhetha iqabane lakhe, ethembele kuphela kumama - uhlobo.

Kwaye kungakhathaliseki ukuba umntu angakhulumi njani ngokukhetha kwakhe, ukunambitha nokufana, uhlala ekhetha kuphela ngemvume yemvelo. Nguye owabeka iikhrayitheriya eziphambili kuthi, ukugcinwa kuphela okuza kwenza ulonwabo lokwenene malunga nendoda okanye ibhinqa.

Makhe sizame ukufumanisa izinto eziphambili zabantu, ubukho obukhokelela kwisimo sengqondo sesini esahlukileyo sisithandayo.
  1. Ukutsalana. Kubonakaliswa ngokubonakala komntu, ukuzikhathalela ngokwabo, kwesikhumba sabo.
  2. Ukukhangela kwengqondo. Ibonakala kubangakanani bomntu onomdla kwabanye abantu abaneengqondo. Inyaniso eyaziwayo kukuba iindawo eziphambili zeengingqi zisesifo sengqondo. Sibiza abantu abanomdla abanomdla wokuhlola umhlaba, bathanda ukuba banomdla kwiintlobo ezahlukeneyo kuwo.
  3. Ukukhangela ngokomzwelo. Le propati ifana nabantu abakwazi ukuvula umphefumlo wabo kunye nehlabathi elingaphakathi kwabanye, bekulungele ukubonisa amandla abo. Abantu abanjalo bayazi ngokucacileyo ukuvuya, ukuhleka, ukubonisa iimvakalelo zabo.
  4. Ubuntu bomntu. Ukudibanisa iimpawu zomntu zomntu, iimvakalelo zakhe kunye neepropati, eziyimpawu kuphela zalo mntu, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha zifumana kunzima ukufumana amagama. Phakathi kwemizwa enjalo: ukuzithemba, ukuzithemba nokujonga abanye abantu.
Nazi iipropati eziphambili zomntu ngamnye. Ubungakanani bokuphuhliswa komnye ngamnye ubeka ubungqina bawo kwiimeko zesini esahlukileyo. Inhlanganisela efanelekileyo yendoda neyesetyhini iyenzeka kuphela xa ibhalansi yazo zonke iiparameters zabantu kunye neemvakalelo zisezingeni elifanayo lophuhliso kubo bobabini.

Enyanisweni, kukho iinyaniso ezibonakalisiwe zenzululwazi ukuba inhlanganisela epheleleyo yabantu ababini banokunikezwa kuphela ukuba bahambisana ngokuvisisana nesondo. Le ngcaciso ayikude nenyaniso, kodwa isigaba sokuphuhliswa kobudlelwane babantu, sidlulela kwinqanaba lokunethezeka ngokwesondo, sihlala silandela emva kokuqala nokusombulula onke amanyathelo esiwachazile. Sinawe ngokubanzi siyiqonde, ukuba yonke into ifana nomnxeba kunye nomdla onokwenzeka kwindoda neyesetyhini.