Ungayisebenzisa njani le nto? Uphose kwaye uphume ngokukhawuleza? Iingqungquthela ezininzi ziyazinikela kulo mbandela, kuba yonke into ilula kakhulu xa sigweba ngaphandle, kodwa xa sifumana le meko, siqala ukungaqiniseki, sizibuze imibuzo ... Oku kwenzeka ntoni kum? Wayenokwenza njani oku, kwaye kufuneka ndiphendule njani, kufuneka athethe ntoni? Ingaba kunjalo kuphela indlela yokuphuma - ukuphula ubuhlobo obakhelwe ixesha elide? Umbono we-psychologist kulawo matyala, ukuba umfana uphakamise isandla sakhe kwintombazana, ingahlukahluka kuxhomekeka kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo. Siza kuzama ukuziqwalasela kwaye siyiqonde le meko. Emva kwakho konke, kwi-psychology yobudlelwane, xa umntu ebetha ibhinqa-imeko leyo ayinqabile ngokwaneleyo, le nkathazo ixhalabisa amantombazana amaninzi, abo abafana babo bahlala bexhatshaza kakhulu.
Abasetyhini abaninzi banokuphulaphula ubomi babo ngokukhetha ngokungafanelekanga, bekhohlisa. Siza kuzama ukuqwalasela iimeko ezahlukeneyo kunye nendlela efanelekileyo yokuphuma kubo, ukuze bancede abasetyhini bafumane esi sigqibo esinzima.
Ukuba umntu uphakamisela isandla sakhe kwintombi yakhe, iimbono zeengqondo zeengqondo zihlala ziguqulela kwelinye: kuqala kufuneka uqonde ubunqunu beemeko ngokwayo, kwindlela oziphatha ngayo yindoda yakho kunye nakwakho. I-psychology yobudlelwano bobudlelwane obunxulumene nomthetho ubeka umthetho ongabonakaliyo: musa ukukhawuleza ukuya echibini, kodwa uhlalutye izenzo zakhe, wenze ingqalelo, yintoni ingozi yokuba oku kuya kuqhubeka?
Ukuba umntu uya kukushaya ngokuphindaphindiweyo, umfazi wakhe, ebonakala ebethandayo, kwaye ephakamisa isandla sakhe kuwe, uyazicingela ukuba ufuna ubomi obunjalo, ubuhlobo obunjalo? Ngaba ufuna ukunyamezela ukuziphatha okunjalo kuwe? Kwaye kubaluleke kakhulu - buza ukuba uyazihlonela, ngenxa yoko, ukuba kwimeko enjalo awuhlonishwa ngumyeni wakho-ngokuqinisekileyo, kuba kule meko, uyazihlonela kuphela! Cinga malunga nokuba ungaphila ne-sadist, phila, uyazi ukuba le mpawu iza kwenzeka kwakhona? Emva kwakho konke, ubomi bakho buya kuba buhlungu, akukho mbuzo wothando, ububele, ubuhlobo bokomoya ...
Amaxesha amaninzi abafazi kule ngxaki bahlushwa yimbuzo: ngaba le ndlela iphuma, ngaba yedwa? Ngaba kufuneka ndihambe nomyeni wam, ndifanele ndimphathe njani, mhlawumbi ndiyakwazi ukulungisa? Cinga kwaye kwinqanaba lokuba abanye besetyhini bathethele ityala lokuziphatha komyeni wakhe, baqale ukukhangela, bajonge ubudlelwane babo, bajonge iimpazamo zabo kwaye baphoswe, bagqiba ekubeni oku bakucaphukisa umyeni wakhe. Yaye yonke into yokuba ingqondo yabo ayinakuyifumkela ingcamango yokuba indoda ayithandayo, ngubani ekucingeni kwabo ngekamva, yayiyinto enhle kwaye ilungile, ngokukhawuleza ibonisa isimo sengqondo kubo ... Konke oku, kunene, kubuhlungu gqitha, kodwa ukunyamezela i-antics enjalo kamva kuya kuba buhlungu ngakumbi. Awudingi umtyholi. Ukuba uyazivumela ngokuphindaphindiweyo ukuphakamisa isandla sakhe kuwe, oku kubonisa ukuba kukho enye indlela yokuphuma - ukuzisindisa. Kuba ukuba uyazama ukuphakamisa isandla sakho, akayi kuba nako ukubetha umntwana wakho wesikhathi esizayo, ukuguqula ubomi bentsapho yakho esihogweni.
Cinga ngenyameko, hlalutye imeko. Ngaba ufuna le nto? Ngamanye amaxesha kungcono ukubuyela ebomini obutsha, kuba ummangaliso kuphela unokulungisa loo mntu. Ukungaxolisi nokungahloneli kwakhe kuyakuchaphazela kakubi i-psyche, eyakho kunye nomntwana wakho.
Kule meko, umbuzo uvela: wenzeni ukuba ityala lenze kuphela kanye kuphela? Ukuba umntu "akahleki" ahlekise umntu akhethiweyo, uyabetha ibhinqa, kodwa uhlobo oluthile lwaluqhekeza ukhenketho, nangona kwangaphambili oko kwakungagcinwanga. Indlela yokusabela ngayo oku? Kutheni oku kwenzekayo? Kutheni le ndoda yenza oku?
I-Psychology - inzululwazi eyenzelwe ukuchaza, ngokukodwa, ubudlelwane phakathi kwabantu, ukuze bafumane isizathu sezenzo ezithile. Kwimeko xa umntu ehlasela intombazana engacwangciswanga kakuhle, kodwa njengokungathi iphoyisa, kungekho mfuneko ebonakalayo, ngoko-psychologists bavame ukuchazela oku kuqubuka kweentlungu ezifana nale. Imvakalelo engebiyo ipropati iqokelele kumntu. Ngoko ke, ukuba zihlanganiselwe kakhulu, loo mqulu wamandla angagqibekanga kufuneka uphonswe ngaphandle, ngendlela ephazamisayo, eyonakalisayo. Ukubetha izitya, gweba iphepha ... Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha "ukuqhuma" kwemizwa inokuthi kwenzeke ngokukhawuleza, njengokuba kwimeko apho umntu ephakamisa isandla sakhe kwindoda yakhe, umbethe. Ngaloo ndlela utshintshisa uxinzelelo kunye namava angalunganga kuye into eyabangcolisa, ngokuthethileyo, ukutshisa umsindo kumfazi wakhe, owamenza, uyasusa inkxalabo kunye nesixhobo sakhe. Kodwa yonke imfahluko kunye nomdlalo kukuba akubona wonke umntu onokukwenza oku. Xa senza izinto ezithile, asikhokelwa kuphela yiminqweno yethu, kodwa kunye neemeko ezifanelekileyo, kwaye ukuziphatha kwethu kulawulwa yimigangatho yokuziphatha koluntu, kwakunye nemithetho esiyiyidalile, izinto eziza kuqala kunye nokholo, imigaqo kunye nomlinge ochaphazela izenzo. Oku kulandela ukuba indoda enye, nangona kunjalo, iyayikubetha umfazi ngenxa yokuba ingqondo yakhe ayinakulungiselela ezo zinto, kuba yona iphantsi kakhulu, kwaye imigaqo yokuqonda kwayo ayiyi kumvumela ukuba enze oku. Omnye, obeka umfazi olinganayo naye, okanye nangaphantsi, ukhokelwa ngenye indlela ekhuliswe ngayo, enye imbono yento yokwenene, isimo sengqondo kubhinqa kunye nezinto, kwiimeko ezinzima ziyakwenza.
Uhlalutyo lokuziphatha komfazi kule meko kuxhomekeke kwisimo sengqondo sakhe kule nyaniso, ukuba ulungele njani ukwamukela ukuziphatha komyeni wakhe, nokuba uya kukwazi ukumxolela. Okona kubaluleke ngakumbi, okufuneka ukukhokelwa ekuhlalutyweni kwimeko, ukuziphatha komntu kwangoko emva kwezenzo. Ukuba wayibona ingxaki yeemeko, wavuma ngesenzo sakhe njengokuphazamiseka kwengqondo, ucele ukuxolelwa, uyaziqonda ukungafaneleki kwakhe kunye nezithembiso zokungenzi njalo kwixesha elizayo, unokumxolela, kufuneke ukuba kwenziwe, kodwa kungekudala. Indoda akufanele ivume ukuvunyelwa kunye nokuxolelwa, makumqaphele ukuba uye wenza kakubi.
Umbono wengqondo yengqondo kwiimeko ezinzima, xa umntu ebetha umfazi wakhe, nguye omele enze ngokubhekiselele kwimeko, akukho mntu ulungeleyo. Kodwa ukukwazi ukuvavanya ngokucacileyo imeko yinkqubo enzima kakhulu, enzima, kuba ubudlelwane abuyena nje ububele kunye nokuwanga, ziyizinto ezingenakugweba kunye nokuxabana. Udinga ukuhlukanisa phakathi kwephutha kunye nempazamo exolelwe, ukusuka kwindlela yokuziphatha eqhubekayo engonakalisa ubomi bakho. Cinga ngemiphumo, hlalutya imeko kwaye wenze njengoko ubona kufanelekile. Ukuba unokungabaza malunga nendlela oya kuqhuba ngayo, nokuba unokhetho olufanelekileyo, yintoni imeko yakho, ingaba uyazikhohlisa, unokuhlala ujika kwi-psychologist okanye ingcali ye-psychotherapist ekuncedayo ukuba uyayiqonda imeko kwaye iza kukukhokelela kwisigqibo esifanelekileyo .