Kule mpapasho, sifuna ukuthintela ingqondo yengqondo jikelele phakathi kwendoda nomfazi, ukuthotywa ngokubanzi. Le ngxaki yeluntu lwethu, elowo nalowo onokujamelana nayo.
Iintlobo zokuthotywa ngenxa yowesifazane .
Ukunyaniseka luhlobo lugonyamelo olubandakanya ukuhlambalaza okuchaphazela isithunzi somntu, ukuyeka ukuphila ngendlela eqhelekileyo (umsebenzi, ukunxulumana nabahlobo kunye nokunye), uxinzelelo lwemali, ukwesatshiswa nokunyanzeliswa komntu kumntu. Ngelishwa, le ngxaki zonke iintlalo zentlalo zihlala zihamba, kungakhathaliseki ukuba ingeniso yengeniso okanye isimo kuluntu.
Umzobo wexhoba elihlazisiweyo .
Abasetyhini abahlala behlanjululwa, ngokuqhelekileyo banokuzithemba ngokuzenzekelayo, banokucinga, banokuzithemba kwaye bangakhuselekanga. Loo nto umfazi uhlala ezama ukuzithethelela, uhlale eziva enetyala. Yaye yintoni eyona nto iyingozi kakhulu, abaninzi abasetyhini abafumanayo kuloo meko badla ukuba bakholelwa ukuba akukho namnye onokubanceda, kwaye bona ngokwabo bathabatha ukuthotywa njengesijeziso saloo kuthiwa "ukunganakwa". Kwaye, ngokubanzi, loo mfazi uqala ukucinga ngendima ehlazisayo yobundlobongela obubuthakathaka kungekuphela kwintsapho phakathi kwendoda nomfazi, kodwa nakwimimandla yonke.
Umzobo womntu onokuhlazisa umfazi .
Oku kudla ngokuba ngumntu-umntu okhuselayo, ngubani, ukususela ebuntwaneni, ngokwakhe wahlaziswa ngokuphindaphindiweyo. Lo mntu ufumana ukuzithemba okuphantsi (kwaye uzama ukuphakamisa), uninzi olunzima, uhlala ekhululekile ukugxeka omnye umntu kwimeko apho. Kwenzeka ukuba abantu abanjalo bahlaziswa ngokupheleleyo. Ephakamileyo, la madoda, njengombandela, ngokuma kakuhle kunye nendlela abaziphatha ngayo njengetet-a-tet nomkakhe, bambalwa abantu abazi. Umfana onjalo uhlala ekhululekile ukucela ukuxolelwa emva kwezenzo kwaye, ngoko ke, kulula ukungena kwi-trust. Le ngqondo yengxaki yolwalamano phakathi kwendoda enobudlova kunye nexhoba labesetyhini. Kungenxa yesi sizathu ukuba abaninzi abafazi, ukuxolela umyeni wabo, "baphinde bathathe isenzo esifanayo".
Ukunyaniseka kunye neengongoma .
Impawu eziqhelekileyo zengcamango enjengokuthi "ukuhlaziswa kwintsapho" kuthatha isicatshulwa esiyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu sobudlelwane bomyeni nomkakhe. Ukuthotywa, njengobonakaliso obucacileyo bentshapheko, kunokuvela kunoma yiphi na intsapho, kwaye oku akunakuze kuxhomekeke kwiimeko zentlalo. Amaxhoba kule meko bahlala besetyhini, abo baqala ukuvumela umntu ukuba aziphathe ngale ndlela. Kwaye le ngethuba apho unako ukuphepha ulwalamano olunjalo. Kodwa ukuba usuvele uvumelene nale meko, awuyikunika ilungelo lomntu ukuba aziphathe ngale ndlela.
Iingcaphephe zabesetyhini abaninzi zenzelwe ngendlela enokuba zifuna ukuhlala zithule iminyaka emininzi malunga nento eyenzekayo kubo ngaphandle kokuthatha "udoti ukusuka kwindlu." Mntu, oku "ukuthula" kubonwa njengombonakaliso wokuvumela kunye nesiqinisekiso sokuthi loo ntokazi iya kunyamezela yonke into ize iphinde imxolele. Kodwa, njengokuba uyazi, ubuhlobo obunjalo phakathi kwabantu abukho ekuhle. Kule meko, isisombululo esona sisisombululo kukuthatha inxaxheba, kodwa abafazi bathanda ukuxolela "abathembekileyo" ngokuphindaphindiweyo. Kwaye konke oku, njengoko i-psychology ithi, ngenxa yokwesaba okukhulu kwintombi ukuba ihlale yedwa. Ukongezelela, ukuxhomekeka kwemali kumntu, umcimbi wezindlu kunye nabantwana, apho ukuqhawula umtshato kwabazali kunokuchaphazela kakubi, kuvela. Kwakhona ulapha ungabonisa ngokusondeleyo uthando nothando lomfazi kumntu. Phakathi kwezinye izinto, ukungakhuselekanga kwowesifazane kuye kukukhokelela ekubeni uzive unetyala phambi komntu kwaye ukuziphatha kwakhe kuthathwa njengento efanelekile.
Indlela yokujongana nokuthotywa kwintsapho ?
Ndingathini, emva koko, ukunqoba ukuthotywa kwintsapho, ukuba uloyiko lokuba, ukuba uthetha ngeengxaki zakho, ngaba baya kukubona njengomntu obuthathaka? Kuhlala kuyimfuneko ukukhumbula ukuba umntu ohlambalaza ibhinqa (nokuba yindawo yoluntu okanye kwintsapho) ayiyindoda. Okokuqala, umntu onjalo akakwazi ukuzilawula, kwaye uninzi lweengxaki zengqondo. Ngaphandle kokujonga emva, uphonsa umntu onjalo. Ewe, ukuba ufuna ukugcina ubudlelwane phakathi kwakho, ngoko kufuneka uzame ukuthetha nendoda kwaye uchaze ukuba uyaphosisa. Kufuneka ugweme zonke iimeko ezinokubangela ukuba akuhlazise. Khumbula ukuba phantsi kwezi meko ungumlondolozi wezilwanyana. Buza i-psychologist okanye, bhetele kunjalo, hamba kunye nomlingane wakho ukuba umbone. Funda iincwadi "ngeengqondo kunye nokuhlaziswa" kwaye ufunde indlela yokulawula imeko ngoncedo lwabo. Ngendlela, zininzi zeencwadi kwaye zithwala ulwazi oluxabisekileyo nolwazileyo.
Ewe, ukuba usasaza kwisigqibo omele ubeke kuyo, unokufaka isicelo kwiinkonzo ezizodwa zokwethemba, apho uya kuba nakho ukunika iingcebiso ngokubaluleka kwendlela yokwenza oku okubuhlungu ngayo. Ungalokothi usongele indoda eyimphonsa. Oku unokumqukumbela kwizenzo ezingaphezulu. Tshela intsapho yakho malunga nale nto, ekufuneka ikuxhase kwaye ikukhusele kule mzuzwana.
Khumbula ukuba ukuhlaziswa ngenye yeendlela zobundlobongela. Ngako oko, zonke izithethe, ukuziphatha, ukunyanzelisa umzimba kunye nokuhlambalaza akufanele kukusongela kwaye kukuqhubelele "kwikhoneni eliyimfama". Emva koko, ukuthotywa kwegama kunokusoloko kuhlaselwa, kwaye oku kubi kakhulu. Ngoko ungaqhubeki kwizinto ezinzulu kwaye uhlale usisigxina esinamandla nesinqwenelekayo, esilungele ukuzinqoba yonke into kunye nokuguqula ubomi bakhe.