Ukuba umfazi kunye nomdlwenguli basebenzisa isiqhelo, le nyaniso ayikwazi ukulawula ukunyanzelisa. Nangona kunjalo, le meko ihlolwa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo, umzekelo, ityhilwa ukuba xa umfazi ekhuluma nomntu ixesha elide, ngoko unako ukuthetha naye. Amadoda amaninzi akholelwa ukuba ukuba bamema umfazi kwivenkile yokutyela kwaye ahlawule unyango, wavuma ukutshata.
Amaxhoba okudlwengulwa okanye ukuxhatshazwa, njengomthetho, bafumana uxinzelelo lwengqondo olude. Uloyiko olusoloko ludlulela ubundlobongela, ngokwalo, lubangela uxinzelelo olukhulu. Ukuba ibhinqa liyancitshiswa kwimeko yokuziphindezela, impembelelo engalunganga kwimpilo yakhe iyancipha.
ISICWANGCISO: UKUYISELWA KWEZINTLOKO
Oogqirha-abagula ngengqondo bayazazi ezininzi iimpawu zengxaki ejongene nexhoba lobundlobongela. Unesidlo esinzima kunye nephupha, ezinye iimpazamo zokuziphatha ziphawulwe, ukulibala okwethutyana kunokwenzeka, kunzima ukuba bagxininise. Cishe rhoqo umfazi ufuna inkxaso kwabanye. Kwaye, ngokufanayo, uqala ukuzitshintsha ngenxa yokungazange amnikezele ngokuchasene nomdlwenguli ... Vala abantu akufanele bamxhase kule ngcamango, kuba imeko ephosakeleyo ayikwazi ukucinga yonke imiphumo, kodwa inamandla kakhulu ibhinqa lisenamandla kunomntu.
Nangona kunjalo, ngokuqhelekileyo sifumana into yokuba yonke into iyafani. Ngamanye amaxesha badibana nexhoba lobundlobongela, bathi, babefanele "baphumule baze bahlekise." Xa umfazi omdala ongatshatileyo ahlukunyezwa, abaninzi banombuzo wokuziphatha kwakhe kwaye bachaneka ngokuthe ngqo kwinto eyenzekayo. Ukuba lo ngumfazi osetshatileyo, umama-mkhwe nomyeni wakhe bahlala bengakwazi "amagosa" omdlwenguli. Ekuqaleni, kubonakala ngathi ubonisa imfesane kwixhoba, emva koko baqala ukukhangela izizathu zokumgxeka kwaye bamgwebe umdlwenguli.
NGABANI OYAVIKELEKILEYO?
Izibalo zithetha ukuba malunga nesithathu sabatlwengulo baneminyaka engama-16. Kubantwana nakwishumi elivisayo, iimpendulo eziphambili kwindlobongela ziyafana nabantu abadala, kodwa iimpawu ezongezelelweyo ziyabonwa - ukuphazamiseka ebusuku, ukungabikho kwamanzi, njl njl. banenkxalabo ngesimo sengqondo sabalingane babo, abanye bahlakulela ukusabela kwesoyikilo emehlweni omdlwenguli okanye indawo yokudlwengula.
Kwiintsapho apho amaxhoba ahlala khona (amabini amantombazana kunye namakhwenkwe), isimo sengqondo sabazali kubo sihlala singalunganga. Ngenxa yoko kukho iintlanano ezahlukeneyo. Umama unakohlwaya intombi yakhe-bathi, "ubeka isohlwayo kuyo yonke into". Abazali abaninzi banqabanga okanye abanako ukubonelela ngoncedo kwengqondo kumntwana wabo, bayesaba ukuvakalisa uluntu kwaye ngoko akuboni ukuba kuyimfuneko ukuphendukela kwiingcali kuncedo.
Ngokuphindaphindiweyo, abasetyhini abasetyhini abaneminyaka eli-17 ukuya kuma-24 baba ngamaxhoba obundlobongela ngesondo. Kule minyaka, baninzi babo abangazi kakuhle ubomi, abaxhomekeke ngokwaneleyo kwiingxaki zobudlelwane phakathi kwabantu kwaye banokunyanzeliswa ukuba banxibelelane ngokusondeleyo.
UBOMI BUGCINA ...
Kukho ulandelelwano oluthile lwempendulo yomfazi ukudlwengula. Isigaba sokuqala sibonakaliswa yimpawu zokuphazamiseka kwengqondo (ukutshitshiswa, ukungathembeki, ukuziphatha okungaqhelekanga). Ixhoba alifuni ukuthetha malunga nento eyenzekayo, ayikwazi ukunquma ukuxelela izihlobo zakhe, oogqirha, amapolisa. Ugxininiso olutyala kunye nemibuzo emininzi: baza kusabela njani ngokusondeleyo kuluntu, nokuba lukhulelwe, nokuba lukhulelwe sisifo se-venereal, njl.
Isigaba sesibini - ukulungiswa kwangaphandle - kuqala emva kwexesha. Ukuhlaselwa kokuqala kwezixhala. Ukuzama ukunqoba iinkumbulo ezidlulileyo kunye nokuzithiba ngaphakathi, umfazi unokubuyela kwindlela yakhe yobomi aze aphile njengokuba ingxaki sele isisombululo.
Nangona kunjalo, isigaba sesithathu siyaqatshelwa - ukuqatshelwa kunye nemvume, okungenakho ukungazi kakuhle ixhoba kunye nezihlobo zakhe. Kule nqanaba, ukuxhaphaka nokudinga ukuxoxa ngezinto ezenzekile. Ibhinqa elijongene nobudlova liyaqonda ukuba kufuneka isetyenziswe kwisiganeko kwaye isombulule iimvakalelo ezichasene nomdlwenguli. Uninzi lwabafazi abanjalo bazimisele ukunceda abanye amaxhoba obundlobongela.
Umfazi otshatileyo unokuhlakulela ubunzima obunzima. Ngenxa yokuba akakwazi ukuzikhusela, uqala ukwesaba ukuba akayi kukwazi ukukhusela abantwana bakhe. Ngaphandle koko, lo wesifazane uloyika ukuba umyeni wakhe uya kumshiya.
YINTONI I-PSYCHOLOGIST?
Ukudlwengula kukukhokelela ekubandezelekeni kwengqondo. Ukongezelela, ubudlelwane nomyeni wakhe buhlala buguquka, akuqhelekanga ukuba iintsapho zidibanise emva kwesiganeko. Kunzima ukuqikelela zonke iinkalo ezimbi ezijongene nexhoba.
Emva kwengxelo yokudlwengulwa, ibhinqa ithathwa kulawulo lwabasebenzi bezonyango kunye namapolisa. Umnqweno wakhe wokuqala kukuziva ukhuselekile, ukhuselwe ngumntu. Ukumnceda, abantu bezobugcisa ezahlukeneyo kunye nobudlelwane obusondeleyo - igqwetha, ugqirha, isihlobo esiseduze, umhlobo okanye umhlobo. Kwisikhululo samapolisa okanye i-ofisi yegqirha, ixhoba kufuneka lithole ulwazi malunga nezenzo zakhe ezongezelelweyo. Oku kuya kumvumela ukuba ahambe-ukwenza izigqibo eziyimfuneko ngokuzimeleyo okanye ukuqhagamshelana neziphathamandla ezifanelekileyo.
Ngomntu ngamnye ohlala ebudloveni, ulwandle lweengxabano lubaxhamla - abafazi abanobudlova bexesha elinzima. Yena, njengomthetho, ufuna uncedo lwengqondo oluphuthumayo, kwezinye iimeko azikwazi ukwenza ngaphandle komsebenzi omde kunye nengcali yengqondo. Umsebenzi walo oyintloko kukuba ubuyisele ixhoba ngokukhawuleza kunokwenzeka kwimpilo eqhelekileyo. Kumele kuthathelwe ingqalelo ukuba impembelelo engalunganga yokudlwengulwa iyafakwa kuzo zonke iinkalo zobomi bexhoba-ezempilo, ezengqondo, ezentlalontle, zesondo.
Emva koxinzelelo, umfazi unokuba neenguqu ezinzulu zobuntu ezichaphazela kakhulu umsebenzi wakhe, isifundo, ubudlelwane bokwenu. Amaxhoba angaba nokuzama ukuzibulala, ukuphuza utywala, ukuxhatshazwa kweziyobisi, izifo zengqondo kunye nezifo ze-somatic. Uncedo lokuqala lweengqondo kwixhoba lobundlobongela lunokubonelelwa nge-hotlines, ezisebenza ngehora elikhulu kwizixeko ezinkulu.