Kakade, ekuqaleni okokuqala uzama ukuthetha nokuchaza. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ezi ncoko ziphela kwizigxeko, izigwebo, kwaye zize zigelele kwizibhambathiso zothando olungunaphakade. Ukuziphatha ngale nxalenye yindoda kuba yintlungu engqondweni yengqondo. Inzondo neentlungu zixutywe, zingavumeli ukuba umfazi aphile ngokuthula.
Kukho imeko zeklinikhi ngokupheleleyo, xa ushutshiso luqala, ulinde emnyango, luthembisa ukuphindisela yonke into.
Ityhayisa kwaye iphuma ngaphandle. Njani ukwenza? Indlela yokwenza ukuze umntu owayengumntu olele emva kwe ntombazana, engabalulekanga nakanjani?
Ukuba umntu omncinci uhlala ebiza kwaye ephonsa imiyalezo, unako ukutshintsha inani, kodwa, ngoko, uyalimaza wena. Ngoko ke, kuyafaneleka ukuzama ukucela umhlobo okanye umzalwana ukuba akhulume nomntu owayengumntu. Kule meko, umkhuseli wakho unokuzimela ngokuzithoba njengomfana wakho kwaye ngokuchanekileyo (kwaye, mhlawumbi, ngokungalunganga) uchazela ummangali ukuba akasayi kuphinda azame ukuvuyisa injabulo. Kwabaninzi oku kusebenzayo, into ephambili kukuba umntu oqinileyo nonamandla owaziyo ukuthetha ilizwi uthetha kunye naye, kwaye izisongelo ze "Romeo" ezishiyiweyo aziyikiyika.
Kodwa inombolo enjalo inokudlulela kuphela ngala madoda abanobuchule bokusongela kuphela ngamazwi.
Ngendlela, kukho enye indlela yokwenza ukuba "ungabi ngogonyamelo". Ewe, unenkohlakalo, kodwa kwiimeko ezinjalo, zonke iindlela zilungile.
Kufuneka sibuyele kuye. Uze umenze akuthiye. Uyazi ukuba kukucaphukisa wena kunye namantombazana ngokubanzi. Ngoko umbonise into angayifuni ukuyibona nokuqonda. Apha, into ephambili akuyikuyidlula. Emva kwakho konke, ukuba uqala ukugqithisa, uya kukhankanya ukuba konke oku kwenziwa ngokukodwa kwaye uya kuhoxisa ukuziphatha kwakho. Ngoko ufanele ubenze uthabathe ngokukhawuleza kuye, wenze into engamkelekanga kuye. Kakade, oku kungathatha ixesha, kodwa ukuba uyaqonda ukuba akukho nenye indlela yokuphuma, kuya kufuneka uhlawulele.
Ukuqhaqhaqhayisa, abafana abanomsindo badala iingxaki, bacaphukisa ngaphandle kobudlova. Kodwa ke, ukudibanisa kwabo kukuba banokuyilwa ngaphandle kokusongela ubomi. Enye indlela kwezinye iimeko ezisebenza ngayo: ukutshintsha ingqwalasela. Ukuba uqinisekile ukuba uyindoda elungileyo, uthando lwakhe lugxininise ingqondo, qiniseka ukuba wadibana nentombazana enokumthanda. Wonke umntu unenjongo yakhe. Kwaye ukuba kukho isangqa sakho kukho intombazana enokuzilungela kakuhle iimfuno zakhe, unokwenza utshintshe ukumazi kwabo. Into ephambili kukuba le ntombazana ayifuni ukuba le yinto yakho yezandla. Ukuba uyazi zonke izinto, nokuba yintombazana enhle kakhulu ayinakuyiphumelela intliziyo yakhe.
Ewe, yintoni omele uyenze xa umfana eqala ukwenza ngokugwenxa aze asongele? Kwimeko apho uyazi ukuba izinto ezisongelayo azikho phantsi, kufuneka wenze into. Ukongezelela ukuyihoxisa ngokupheleleyo le ntombazana, kuyafaneleka ukucela uncedo kubahlobo kunye nosapho. Musa ukoyika okanye uhlazeke. Sonke sinako ukwenza iimpazamo, abantu abasondeleyo baya kuqonda kwaye bancede. Ukuba umntu uyazi ukuba unokhuseleko oluya kumenza ajezise kwimeko apho, uya kucinga ngamakhulu amawaka ngaphambi kokuba enze into ethile.
Ukongezelela, zama ukuhlala uhlala kwinkampani yabantu abangakukhusela, ngakumbi ngexesha elizayo. Ndicinga ukuba umhlobo osondeleyo okanye umzalwana akanakuze anqabe ukukuthatha ekhaya. Musa ukunika umntu wangaphambili ithuba lokulimaza. Nangona kwimiba enjalo, ukukhangwa kukapapa kunokukunceda. Ukuba uyihlo unakho ukukhokela ngokufanelekileyo intetho, kwaye xa kuyimfuneko, kwaye usebenzisa amandla ngokulinganisela, uzive ukhululekile ukudibanisa uncedo. Ngokuphindaphindiweyo incoko kunye noyise we ntombazana yangaphambili, ikhubaza abafana ukuba banqwenele ukuvela kwindawo engamaekhilomitha ayishumi ukusuka kwindlu yakhe. Kwakhona, unokuthetha nabazali bakhe, baninzi okanye uzibuze. Ngokuqinisekileyo, unomntu omdala, kodwa ukuba kuyacaca ukuba yakho yangaphambili-inokukwazi ukukulimaza kunye nokulimala, ungesabi okanye unentloni ukubuyela kubadala. Xa ingxabano iya kwizinga elifanayo kwaye umfana uqala ukuqonda ukuba izenzo zakhe ezinokuthi zongelwa ngumthwalo wemfanelo, uya kucinga ngamakhulu amawaka ngaphambi kokuza kulinda emnyango.
Xa akukho nanye apha ngasentla isebenza kwaye umntu owayesakuba ngumntu uqhubeka ekuhlukumeza, usongela, uqhube umxhasi kwaye uzame ukubuyela ngokukhawuleza, ufanele ucinge ngempilo yakhe yengqondo. Abantu abagulayo abaqondi amagama kunye neenkolelo. Amanyathelo angaphezulu kufuneka afakwe kubo. Ngako oko, akunakulungele ukucela uncedo kwi-arhente yokunyanzeliswa komthetho ukubhala ingxelo kwaye ufuna ukuba ulungiselele uhlobo oluthile lokukhusela kuwe. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, zonke iindlela sele zilungile, ngenxa yokuba impilo yakho, kwaye, mhlawumbi, ubomi bunobungozi.
Uthando lwendoda aluhlali lusenza sibe nolonwabo. Ngamanye amaxesha kwenzeka ukuba kwimibuzo yakhe enye kuphela, ukwesaba nokukhathazeka-kwaye ngoko ufuna ukuba le nkosi iwele emva kwethu kanye kunye. Kubalulekile ukulahla olo thando. Ngaziphi na iindlela. Kwaye ngokukhawuleza, bhetele.