Ekuveleni kweengxaki zengqondo, abazali kunye nabantwana basoloko bebeka ityala lokuqala, ngokuchanekileyo, umgca wokuziphatha kwabazali ngokubhekelana nomnye kunye nomntwana, ngenxa yoko umntwana naye unemvelaphi ethile yemvakalelo, kwaye ayisoloko iyanceda. Oku kubaluleke ngakumbi xa umama noyise bexakeka: bandi banda kakhulu kwaye banobuhlungu, ingakumbi imvakalelo ngokuphathelele yonke into, kunye nomntwana wabo. Okanye ngaba abazali bavuyiswa kakhulu kwaye baxatyiswe yimvakalelo kuyo yonke into engekho ngokuvisisana nokuziphatha okulinganiselayo.
Umntwana uyisiponji esincinci, ukuze emva koko akanalo iingxaki zengqondo, kufuneka uqale ukuzijonga: awuyi kuba yindawo yokuzalisa ezi ngxaki?
Ngoku makhe sihlale kwiingxaki ezinxulumene nemvelaphi yemoya yabazali - kuba emva koko bavelisa iingxaki ezifanayo kubantwana.
Iingxaki zengqondo ezibonwa kubazali
Isabelo seengonyama sale nqaku kwinqaku esiza kuzinikezela kwimvelaphi yomsindo, kuba kunjalo, masithi, ukuhlolwa kwethem ebeka umva womntwana wakhe.
Uninzi lwabaomama abancinci bahlala besesigxina. Kutheni? Impendulo ilula. Sivile kakhulu kunina kunye nogogo ukuba thina, isizukulwana esincinane, asiyiqondi nto kwimfundo ngendlela epheleleyo, esingenakukwazi ukujamelana nayo nangenqana - singakhankanya umntwana, ukuba thina siqala ukungaqiniseki ngamakhono ethu. Kwaye, ngendleleni, kakhulu kakhulu. Emva kwakho konke, izazi zeengqondo zifunda ubudlelwane bobubele phakathi koomama nomntwana, ziye zabonisa ixesha elide lokuba oomama nabantwana abanokuzithemba nabantwana abanokuzithemba bazolile.
Kodwa ukuba unenkxalaba malunga nawaphi na umcimbi: ungekho kakhulu kwibele, uyondla kakhulu / nto encinci, awuyikutshintshela kakuhle / ungayifaki nhlobo, kodwa akufanele uthathe izandla zakho ngendlela enjalo, ungamangalisi ukuba umntwana wakho uphendule ngokukhawuleza kwiindawo ezungezile uxolo kwaye udla ngokukhawuleza nokukhala. Emva kwakho konke, uhlala eshahleni ukhala kwaye ukhale, ucinga ukuba awusebenzi. Ngoko ke, icebiso lam kuni: niphalalele kwiimbono zentsapho, ukuba ayingqinelani neyakho, bavusa abantwana babo, unobomi obunye kunye neminye imithetho. Ukuba bayakuphazamisa, zama okungenani okwethutyana ukudibana nabo, bayeke ukuba batyelele kangangoko. Ukuba kunzima kuwe ukuba uthethe kubantu bakho bomthonyama ngomntu - makangayichazi indoda leyo, ichaze ngokuhlakanipha nangengqiqo, kuba ukuxabana nezihlobo kuphela ngenxa yokuba ungenalo imbono efanayo kwindlela yokukhulisa umntwana, kungenangqondo.
Ngokuqhelekileyo abazali baneengxaki zengxaki ezinxulumene nelokuba bafuna kakhulu kwiimvumba zabo. Ndibiza ngokuba ngumvandedwa kwingqondo, kwaye kuyaqondakala ukuba kutheni. Ngamhla, ulwazi oluninzi olungapheliyo lufumana ukulahlwa ngokupheleleyo kwabazali abancinci nabangenalwazi, ukuba banokulahlekelwa kuwo kwaye benze izigqibo ezingalunganga. Ingozi kakhulu kule ngxaki i-Intanethi. Emva koko, xa umama okanye ubaba efunda ngoku, umzekelo, indlela umntwana ayenokwenza ngayo ngexesha elilodwa okanye kwelinye, basekelwe kwidatha ebonwa ngumnye umntwana. Kwaye bazama ukuwadlulisela umntwana wabo, bekhohlwa ukuba bonke abantwana bahlakulela ngokungafaniyo, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha kufuneka bakwazi ukulinda into ethile.
Kufuneka ukuba ukwazi ukucofa ulwazi - lo ngumgaqo wokuqala wokukhangela kwawo kwimithombo evulekile. Khumbula enye inyaniso elula: ukuba ummelwane uphendule ezinyangeni ezi-5, kwaye umntwana wakho useneminyaka engama-6, kwaye akayikukuvuyisa ngokubhikisha kwakhe-akusisizathu sokucinga ukuba umntwana wakho uyingozi. Ngokuqinisekileyo asikho isizathu sokumangalela ngoku. Ngaba ucinga ukuba akayiqondi ukuba awuyivuyo naye? Uphosakele: nokuba umntwana oneminyaka engama-6 ubudala uyakwazi ukuqonda ngelizwi lakhe kwaye aqonde ngokubonakalisa ubuso bakhe nonina kunye nokugxekwa kwakhe - kwaye oku akuncedi ukuba azive ekhuselekile nawe. Musa ukumbuza umntwana into angenakuyenza. Ikhathalela ngokukhethekileyo kubazali abaye baxhamla nje ngeendlela zonke zokuphuhliswa kwexesha lomntwana ekuqaleni.
Kubonakala ngathi, ziziphi iingxaki ezinokuvela ngenxa yokuba umntwana usemncinane sele efunda izinto ezinzulu? Uqeqesho lobuchopho - kwaye kuphela, utsho. Kodwa hayi, yonke iminyaka-uqeqesho lwabo, akufanele uhlale nebhokhwe eneminyaka emithathu kwidesiki kwaye uzame ukongeza ithenda yokuphindaphinda entloko. Kule ndawo kukho isikolo, kukho iminyaka elula kwaye ilungile - ngoko ungazami ukugxuma ngaphezulu kwentloko yakho. Into ephambili kwiminyaka emine yimidlalo, kwimidlalo unokufundisa iimvumba phantse yonke into engqondweni yakho ingayiqonda. Ngako oko, kungcono ukuba ungabi mvila kwaye udlale ngakumbi, usebenzisa izinto zokufundisa, udlale kubafundi besikolo - kunye neentsholongwane zabazali ziya kunyangwa. Emva kwakho konke, uya kuqonda ngokukhawuleza okanye kamva ukuba umntwana akanakukwazi ukufunda konke ozama ukumfundisa. Emva koko ubunkani buya kutshintshwa ngokucaphukisa, okuya kubazali baza kuqala ukubonisa kumntwana. Kwaye oku akuyi kuphazamisa uphuhliso lwayo ngendlela enhle.
Ukubanda kakhulu kwabazali ngenye inkathazo yengxaki yabantwana kubazali, oko akunakwenzeka kodwa kuthintela umntwana. Oku kubanda kunokulula ngokususela ekubuntwaneni komama okanye uyise kunye nokubonakalisa ekusithekeni kunye nokubonakaliswa okungaqhelekanga kwemvakalelo. Nangona, mhlawumbi, kunye nezinye iziganeko ezingathandekiyo ebomini obunzima bangela ukuba abazali banqande ngakumbi. Nangona kunjalo, simele sikhumbule ukuba umntwana akanako ukukhula ngokuqhelekileyo ngaphandle kokuxhasa, ukufudumala nokubonakalisa ngokucacileyo uthando, ubuncinci kunina. Oku kubaluleke kakhulu, kwaye oogqirha abathile kubaluleke kakhulu! Loo mama okanye utata unokukwazi ukujamelana nokubanda, kubalulekile ukubaxhasa - akukho nto inomdla nothando kunye nokuvelisa ukufudumala phakathi kwabantu ngaphezu kokuqhagamshelana nomzimba. Ngoko ke, qha ga msana kunye kwaye cinezela entliziyweni yentsana yakho: njenjalo, ukusuka entliziyweni, ukubonisa ukuba uyithande kangakanani kuwe.
Iziphumo zeengxaki zengqondo ezivela kubazali zingaba zijeziso eziqhelekileyo ezingenangqiqo ezithatha isikhundla samagama awazange abangele impendulo kumntwana. Kwaye abazali bayathukuthela, becinga ukuba nje uhlasele kwaye akafuni ukuphulaphula, nangona kunjalo ingxaki iya kubuya kakhulu. Ngoku ndiza kukuxelela ngempazamo emithathu abazali abahlala besenza xa befuna ukuhlwaya umntwana - kwaye ufumana izigqibo kwaye ungabavumeli, ukuze ungagqithisi ingqondo yengane yakho ukususela ebuntwaneni.
Ukuba awuhlali ujabule - ke unganelisekanga ngeengane, kodwa wenza oko. Umele azi ukuba wena, umzekelo, awunelisekile ngento yokuba wayifake iphepha lodonga, kwaye kungekhona ukuba "ungumfana ongeyena, ongekho nto, indawo yakhe ekhoneni."
- Musa ukugxekisa kwaye ungayithandi iimvakalelo ezifunyanwa ngumntwana wakho. Ukuba wayidonsa ikati lommelwane ngomsila kumsindo kuye, umgxeka ngenxa yokungahambi kakuhle, kungekhona ngenxa yengqumbo - emva kwayo yonke into, mhlawumbi, kwenzeka ngenxa yezenzo zekati. Mhlawumbi wa yityhola? Kodwa ukuchazela umntwana ukuba akulungile ukudonsa ikati - kuyimfuneko
- Musa ukucinga ukuba ngokuqhelekileyo ubonisa umntwana ongeyonwabanga ngezenzo zakhe, uya kuthobela ngakumbi. Uya kukhangela nje ukuphendula ngendlela enjalo kwizenzo zakhe kwaye uyayeka ukuqonda imfundiso njengesikhalazo.
Iingxaki zengqondo ezenzeka kubantwana
Ukuba kulula ngokwaneleyo ukuba abantu abadala baqonde imbangela yengxaki yomzwelo, imeko kunye nabantwana kunzima kakhulu. Abakwazi ukuchaza isizathu sokuba banalo okanye ezinye iziphazamiso zeemvakalelo ezingenakulawulwa. Nangona kunjalo, abazali bayakwazi ukuqonda imvelaphi yemvakalelo, ukuba, ngokwenene, bayayazi kakuhle umntwana wabo. Ngako oko, isizathu salo mkhuba sinokupheliswa ngokuzimeleyo okanye ngoncedo lengqondo.
Iyokuqala "yeengongoma" zengqondo ezithintela ubomi babantwana abaninzi. Abazali abaninzi baye baqaphela ukuba ngamanye amaxesha abantwana babo babonisa ubundlobongela obukhulu kunabo bonke abadala kunye nabanye abantwana. Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba akunakwenzeka ukuphelisa ulwaphulo-mthetho: lo luvakalelo oluye lwasungulwa ngamnye kuthi ukususela ekuzalweni. Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba kutheni umntwana ebonakalisa iimvakalelo ezinjalo. Mhlawumbi akanakunakwa, kwaye uzama ukumbamba ngale ndlela? Okanye ngaba ufuna into kwaye akhale ezama ukufumana oko akufunayo? Mhlawumbi, ngale ndlela uzama ukubonisa ukuba nguye oyintloko: kwintsapho okanye ekuhlanganisaneni kwabantwana - akunandaba, kodwa kunokwenzeka ukuba ngokuziphatha kakubi umonakalo wengane okanye umnqweno wokuphindisela kuboniswa kumntu.
Ngokuqhelekileyo lo mkhuba ubonakala kubantwana abanengqiqo engaphantsi kwento efunwa ngumgangatho wobudala bawo, okanye le ntwana nje ayayazi ukuba yintoni emphakathini kwaye idlala kunye noontanga, kaninzi unesidima sokuzithoba. Kukho nokuba kunokwenzeka ukuba ukuziphatha komntwana okuxhatshaza kuxhomekeke ekubeni ukwesaba rhoqo kwinkqubo yenzwa eyenzeka emva kokulimala kakhulu okanye ngenxa yezifo ezithile.
Abantu abadala basabela njani kweli gama labantwana? Ngelishwa, basabela ubugwenxa kubudlova, bezama ukuphelisa umva womntwana. Ngaloo ndlela, bayeka nje kuphela oku kungagunyazisiyo umsindo kumanzi angaphantsi, okubangela ukugqithisa okukhulu kweemvakalelo emva kwexeshana.
Nangona umzali kufuneka:
1) ukufumanisa ukuba yintoni imbangela yokuziphatha komsindo komntwana wakhe;
2) thumela imikhosi edlulileyo, ibe kwelinye ishini: umzekelo, emva kokuqonda imeko, mnike umntwana ukuba afune enye indlela yokuphuma kuyo;
3) ukufakela kwizakhono ezinzima zokuziphatha kuluntu;
4) ngokuphindaphindiweyo ukuliphonsa kwimeko yabanye abantwana, fundisa iziseko zokusebenzisana.
Iingcali zengqondo zicebisa xa umntwana esithukuthele, mema ukuba adlale kwi-sandbox, ekubeni imidlalo kunye nesihlabathi iyathuthuzela kakhulu kwi-psyche yengane.
Enye inkxwaleko ebonakalayo kubantwana iyanxhalaxhala-oko kukuthi, ukuhlala uxhalabele into ethile. Ukuxhalabisa kubonakaliswa kulabo bantwana, ngaphakathi ngaphakathi kwabo abangabonakaliyo, abaphikisana nabo, ngokuqhelekileyo ngenxa yokuba imeko yabo ifuna into engenangqiqo kubo.
Kwakhona, umntwana unokutshatyalaliswa ukuba ngaba abazali bakhe okanye izalamane zakhe ezisondeleyo kunye nabo bahlala benxibelelana nabo bafana. Abantwana banomdla ngokubamba umoya wokoyiko kunye noloyiko baze bazithabathele.
Aba bantwana bancipha - nantoni na eyenzayo, bakholelwa ukuba iziphumo ziya kuba zibi. Ukuba udweba amanani kwisanti - ngoko kufuneka aphule abanye abantwana, ukuba bapende, bacinga ukuba unina akayithandi umzobo wabo. Ukongeza, abantwana abaxhalabisayo banokuzithemba kakhulu, okuvela kwiintlungu.
Abazali bafanele baqonde ukuba ukususa uxhalabathela kumntwana kukuxanduva lwabo lokuqala, ekubeni umntwana akakwazi ukuphuhlisa ngokuqhelekileyo kwiimeko ezinzulu kangaka, izimo ezibalulekileyo kuye. Ngoko ke, ngazo zonke iindlela uzama, okokuqala, uqinisekise umntwana wakho ukuba akabi ngaphezu kwabanye, kodwa yena ungcono kunabo bonke abanye abantwana emhlabeni. Mdumise ngenxa nayiphi na, nokuba yinto encinci ukuphumelela, ukukhuthaza, ukudlala, ukugcoba kwaye uhlale uthetha ngendlela oyithandayo ngayo nokuthi uyithande kangakanani kuwe. Mchazele kuye intsingiselo yeemeko eziphazamisayo-zama ukuyiqonda kunye ukuze umntwana aziqonde: akukho nto iyingozi, akufanele uxhalabele.
Olunye uvakalelo oluvakalayo ukuvimba ubomi obuqhelekileyo bomntwana ukwesaba. Asikhulumi ngoloyiko oluqhelekileyo oluvela kuzo zonke izingane: akuyiyo ukoyika ubumnyama okanye "babiki". Omnye kufuneka aqwalasele ukwesaba xa kukho ezininzi, zininzi, kwaye azinjalo "ubudala" (oko kukuthi, kubantwana).
Kufuneka uqonde oko kuthukisa umntwana wakho kwaye apho uloyiko luvela khona. Nangona kunjalo, uninzi lwabazali abanakukwazi ukujongana kakuhle nale ngxaki - kungcono ukuba ungazisoli ngemali kunye nexesha kwaye uthathe i-crumb ibe yincutshe eqhelekileyo eya kunceda ukuqaphela nokuphelisa ukwesaba komntwana. Umsebenzi wabazali kukuxhasa umntwana kangangoko kunokwenzeka kwaye uzame ukukhusela imeko apho umntwana eyoyika khona.
Njengoko ubona, inxaxheba ebomini yobomi bentsapho yonke ibalulekile, kubaluleke kakhulu, kwaye awukwazi ukuyihoxisa - ingakhokelela kwimiphumo emibi, ngakumbi xa ifika kumntwana. Ndiyathanda ukuba uxolo lwengqondo noxolo, ukubona nokuvakalelwa apho abantwana bakho baya kukhula ngokomoya baze bajabule!