Ixesha eliqhelekileyo imeko yenguqu iyaqhubeka - "amaqela aphezulu akakwazi, amaqela aphantsi afuni ukuhlala endala." Abaninzi bangayichasa: kwintsapho nganye - zabo, iingxaki eziyingqayizivele nomntwana okhulayo, awukwazi ukufana okufanayo - ewe phantsi kwebhayisiki efanayo! Ewe, kunjalo. Kodwa le nkqubo ikhona, ukuziphatha kwabantwana abaselula banesisombululo esivamile kwaye kunokwenzeka ukuba basebenze ngokuchanekileyo. Iingcebiso ezininzi ezinengqiqo kunye neengxoxo ezikholisayo zengcali ngokuqinisekileyo ziya kukunceda ukuba ube nolwalamano oluthe xaxa kunye nentombazana ephindayo, kwaye unokukwazi ukuhlangabezana nemisebenzi engenakuvela phambi komntu ngeli xesha elinzima lobomi.
Ukukhuliswa kwabantwana kukuba, okokuqala, ngabafundi bezemfundo. Ubuzali bubonisa amandla okuphulaphula, akunakwenzeka ngaphandle kokulingana kwangempela kunye nokukhuselwa kwamalungelo abantu, kuquka nabazali. Ukuzama ukufezekisa ukukwazi ukunxibelelana nomntwana wakho ngale ndlela, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuhlala uzinzileyo nasiphi na imeko. Iimeko ezixinzelelekileyo zihlala zenza uxinzelelo lwesisu. Ngoko ke, kufuneka sihlakulele indlela yokuphumla - kuphela ngoko sinokuphendula ngokufanelekileyo kwizinto ezenzekayo.
Apha ungasebenzisa iindlela ezintathu ezilula.
1. Kufuneka ukuba uhlale phantsi kwisihlalo seenqwelwana kunye nemizuzwana eyishumi ngokugqithiseleyo ukuze utyumle zonke iintsi. Emva koko, phumula, "uhlambuluke," uvale "ukuvuza" koxinzelelo phakathi komzimba ukuya kwimilenze, kwiminwe, kwizikhonkwane.
2. Khawucinge nje kwindawo ohlala kuyo ukuba yincinci, inqabileyo kwaye inolwazi. Unokwenza umcabango obonakalayo, ngoko kuya kuba ulwimi lwetangatye, okanye i-moth, okanye uhla lwezolo ... Cinga ukuba le nucleolus yinto yakho yangaphakathi, isitshixo sakho. Ngeveki zangeveki, qho khumbula le mfihlelo, uxolo lwexolo phakathi kwakho.
3. Kancinci ukwandisa le ntliziyo yokuphumla kunye nokukhawuleza kwihlabathi elikujikelezayo - kule ngxaki ivele ingxaki yakho ibonakala ihlehlise ... Ngoku ngoku bayeke batshintshe isixa, kuba uquka kwiimeko zabo abamelwane, indlu, isixeko sakho, bonke abahlala kuyo, ilizwe, ihlabathi, iGalaxy ... kwaye ukusuka kulo bunzima bokuba, buyela kuwe. Uthelekise ukubaluleka.
Kwaye ngoku sicinga ngeenyaniso ezicacileyo:
Uninzi lwabaninzi "olunzima" ekugqibeleni luza kuba ngabantu abaqhelekileyo, abaphumelelayo nabahlobo bokwenene kubazali babo.
Wena kunye neengxaki zakho azikho zodwa, abazali abafana nolwandle.
Abantwana banemimoya enamandla, enokumisela ngokukhulu kunabantwana, ukuba baya kuba yintoni.
Unamandla amakhulu kunye nokukwazi ukuphazamisa umntwana wakho kunokuba ukholelwe.
Kwaye ekugqibeleni kodwa kuncinci, unamalungelo afanayo kunye neemfuno zolonwabo njengomntwana wakho.
Ngoku makhe sizame ukutshintsha iinjongo zethu zohlobo oluthile ...
"Andifuni umntanami ..." (mhlawumbi ufika ekhaya ngokukhawuleza).
"Ufanele ..." (hlambulula izinto zakhe).
"Akanalo ilungelo ..." (ngaphandle kwemfuneko yokuthatha izinto zam).
... ngeenjongo ezikude:
"Ndifuna umntwana wam ..." (akazange angene enkingeni, wayemnene, uthembekile).
Kwakhona:
"Ndifuna umntwana wam ..." (wakhula athembekile, enempilo, onomusa). Kwaye ekugqibeleni:
"Ndifuna umntwana wam abe ngumntu ohloniphekileyo, onoxanduva, okwazi ukwenza izigqibo ezilungileyo ngaye."
Le nkqubo iya kwenziwa ngokuthe ngempumelelo xa ixeshana ukulibala malunga neenjongo ezizimeleyo kunye namandla asebenzayo ukufezekisa ihlabathi jikelele.
Ukuphuhliswa kokuzimela kwabaselula
Kwaye ngoku yisiqalo sokuqalisa umsebenzi ekudluliseni uxanduva kumntwana kubomi bakhe.
ISIHLOKO ESINYE
Bhala phantsi kwiphepha zonke iingongoma ongayithandi kwintsapho yakho. Umzekelo:
amaqabunga emva kwesidlo esingcolileyo;
- uphendulela ngokuvakalayo kumculo;
- akhathaleli iintyatyambo egumbini lakhe;
- Ebusuku ehleli ekhompyutheni;
- Yidla ukutya okungaxilwanga, njl kunye nezinye.
ISINYATHELO ESIBINI
Hlukanisa onke amabango akho kumntu oselula ukuba abe ngamaqela amabini
1. Kuphela ubomi bomntwana.
2. Ukuchaphazela ubumfihlo bakho. Iqela lesibini liya kushiyelwa yedwa ixesha, siza kuqala.
ISIGABA SESITHATHU
Funda imithetho emithathu ebalulekileyo:
1. Ufanele ulahle yonke imbopheleleko yalezo zinto kwiimeko zokuziphatha komntwana ongajongani nobomi bakho.
2. Sidinga ukuhlakulela ukuzithemba kwinto yokuba umntwana angenza izigqibo ezifanelekileyo ngokwakhe kuzo zonke iimeko.
3. Makhe aqonde kwaye azive oko kukuzithemba kwakho.
Mhlawumbi, apha ukungaqondani kwakho, intukuthelo, ukungavumelani kungenzeka. Ungagxumi kwizigqibo! Funda ukufikelela ekupheleni, uze wenze isigqibo, ulandele okanye ungaphinde ufumane iingcebiso malunga nemfundo yabantwana abaselula.
Abagcini nje kuphela abaselula, kodwa nabazali ngokwabo bavame ukunyaniseka kwimiphumo ekude yezenzo zabo kunye nezigqibo. Isinyathelo sesithathu senzelwe ukufunda nokubona yonke imiphumo yezigqibo ezithathwe.
Ukufunda ukuthembela komntwana, abazali abazuzanga kuphela inzuzo yesikhashana-ukungabikho kwempi-ntlalontle kwintsapho, kodwa kunye nesiphumo sithuba elide: umntwana uya kufunda ngokucacileyo ukubona kunye nokuqwalasela iziphumo ezikude zezenzo zakhe kunye nezigqibo.
Indlela yokufezekisa ukuthobela kumntu oselula?
Okokuqala, khetha enye into ebalulekileyo, uxanduva olwenzela ukuba uthumele kumntwana. Zivume isimo sakho, ucinge ngendlela umthwalo wemfanelo osuswe ngayo kumagxa akho. Vusa umdla kwindlela umntwana oza kulungisa ngayo ngempumelelo ingxaki yakhe. Khawucinge ngamagama athetha ngawo ngexesha lokudluliselwa kwexanduva.
Ngokomzekelo, "Ndandinxungubele kwaye ndathukuthele nge ... kwaye ndazama kaninzi ... Usukhulile ukuba wenze izigqibo ezifanelekileyo ngokubhekiselele ... Kusuka ngoku ngoku, andiyi kuphazamisana nale ngxaki kwaye ndithembele kuwe: nayiphi na isigqibo, kuya kulungele wena, ndiya kuqhubeka ndikunomdla kwaye ndincede ngazo zonke iindlela, ukuba, ngokuqinisekileyo uyabuza malunga nayo, kodwa ngokubanzi yinto yakho yoshishino. "
Ngokubanzi, zama ukuyibeka isitatimende sakho ngendlela ye-I-ingxelo, ngokufutshane kwaye ngaphandle kwemibuzo echukumisa le ntombazana ukuba ikubandakanye kwingxoxo. Ngaphambi kokuba uvakalise isitatimenti sakho kwintombazana, qalisa ngokuphindaphindiweyo amaxesha amaninzi ukuze uzwakala yendalo kwaye ikhululekile. Emva koko iintsuku ezimbalwa zinike yena kunye namanye "amagunya". Ngexesha elifanayo, ungagxininisi ekuphenduleni kwakhe, kodwa kuphela ngenjongo yakho yokusombulula le ngxaki kanye kanye.
Iingcebiso ezimbalwa ezisebenzayo
Ngamanye amaxesha qaphela indlela abamelwane kunye nabahlobo bajonge ngayo (ngabanye bomnye) umntwana - abazivekanga uxanduva lwabo kwizigqibo zabo kwaye banolwazi oluchanileyo ngalo, ngamanye amaxesha banokuqaphela kwaye baqaphele into entsha kumntwana wakho okhulayo.
Zama ukudibana nomntwana ngalunye ixesha kunye nengcamango engayifanelekanga okanye ayifanele ukuba yenze, kodwa ngengqondo ekhululekileyo neyengathathi hlangothi yeliso kunye nokumangalisa.
Vumela ukuba ujabule ngobungangamsha nokungaqiniseki komntwana, nangona kubangela ukuba uxhalabe kunye nokuxhalabisa kuwe. Zama ukubona ukuba kwizenzo zakhe nangezigqibo akukhumbuza ngobuntwaneni bakho nolutsha, okukuvumela ukuba uthi: "Ndiyayiqonda isizathu sokuba wenza ngale ndlela."
Kuba umntu ozimeleyo wenza izigqibo, zineziphumo ezintle neziphumo ezimbi. Abanye babo bazibonakalisa ngoko nangoko, abanye - kamva. Ukuqwalaselwa kwimiphumo yesikhathi eside ngumqondiso wokukhula. Kwaye ulutsha luye lugxininise kwimiphumo esheshayo yezigqibo zabo. Lo ngumthombo weengxabano ezininzi kwintsapho. Ukuba ukwesaba oku, qalisa ukunika umntwana uxanduva malunga nento enokuyiphazamisa uxolo lwakho.
Izizathu ezibalulekileyo zokuziphatha "nzima" kwabaselula
Uninzi ulutsha lubonisa ukuba umnqweno wabo oyintloko inkululeko yokulawula ubomi babo. Kodwa ngokuphindaphindiweyo ukusabela kwabo kokuqala kwintetho inikwe inkohlakalo. Kwaye, ngaphandle kokuqonda, benza konke ukunyanzelisa abazali babo ukuba babuyele ekulawuleni kwabo kwangaphambili.
Oku akuyona nje ingxaki yomntwana. Kulowo nalowo kuthiwa uphila "ngonyama yecysi", echithwe kwiqhekeza, kodwa, ngokukhawuleza xa ikhutshwe, iyabuya. Thina sele sinezihlandlo ezininzi xa kufuneka sikhethe ukukhetha isigqibo. Ngokomgaqo-nkqubo, ukuphuhliswa komntu kukuba uyakwazi ngakumbi oku.
Umntwana endaweni ethile ukuya kwiminyaka eyi-11 ukuya kwe-12 uye wafunda kakuhle. Kodwa wafunda okokudala. Ukuhamba kuqala, udle ngesipuni, ugqoke ... Emva koko umntwana ufunda ukuba ungumntu ohlukileyo kwabanye, kungekhona ikopi yomntu. Kule minyaka kubalulekile ukuba aqonde ukuba izisusa zakhe nezenzo aziveli ngaphandle, kodwa zivela ngaphakathi. Ngoko ke, kufuneka enze izigqibo ezahlukileyo kwakho, ukuqonda ukuba: "Ndiyakwazi ukuvelisa iimbono zam!"
Le mfuneko yenziwa phakathi kweminyaka eyi-11 neye-16, kwaye ukuba umntwana kulo nyaka uya "ngaphaya" kwabazali kwinqanaba ngalinye, oku kuqhelekileyo. Kodwa kholwa mna, iinjongo zangaphakathi zokuya "indlela yakho" kumntwana zibuhlungu ngokwenene! Kwaye, njengale ngonyama, ngokungaqondiyo ufuna "ukubuyela emgodini," oko kukuthi, ukuphoqa umntu ukuba azenzele izigqibo.
Ngoko ke ngokuphindaphindiweyo uyakucacisa, ukuze uhlale ecaleni kuye kwinxaxheba yomlawuli. Ngexesha elifanayo, uhlakulela umkhwa owonakalisayo wokunakwa. Ukuthatha esinye isigqibo kuye, ubonakala ngathi: "Ndiyilumkisile! Yiloo nto ukungathobeli ukukhokelela! Umele uphulaphule abadala!".
Abantwana abaselula banomuvo wokuba bahlupha abazali, kwaye bayayisebenzisa ngokufanelekileyo. Iindlela zokuzixhaphaza zininzi:
abazali abagxekayo ngokungabakhathaleli,
- Buza umbuzo malunga nokukhulelwa okungenzeka, okungabonakaliyo,
- Xelela ootitshala, abahlobo malunga nabazali, abanomdla, abaqinileyo, abachasene nabazali (inxaxheba ngokwenene phakathi kwentsha),
- zizenzele nje nge-slow-witted, i-stupid, i-obstinate, i-hooliganist, ekugqibeleni inokubangela ukuba uthathe indima yomlawuli wecala.
Konke oku kwintsholongwane akuyinto ehlekisayo kwaye ayiyiyo imnandi - inokukunyanzela ukuba ubanike ingqwalasela engafanelekanga kwaye uzigcinele kwisidingo sokuba zizigqibo ezizimeleyo, ezinoxanduva. Kungatsholwa ukuba ingqalelo engafanelekanga yintlobo yesicatshulwa kumntwana, kwaye ngabazali ngababoneleli abakhulu. Konke ngohlelo olufanayo: ngokubhekiselele, ngakumbi, ngakumbi kwintlekele (ngaphandle kokuzimela).
Enyanisweni, umntwana usefuna enye: ukunceda, ukukhuthaza, ukukhuthaza ukhetho lomgaqo wokuziphatha ukwenza izigqibo ezizimeleyo. Ngoko, kunokwenzeka, kwizame zakho zokuqala ukudlulisela kuye uxanduva lwezenzo zakho umntwana uya kuphendula ngokubhikisha okufihliweyo, okungaziwayo.
Kwimeko - iingcebiso ezimbalwa
1. Ngempendulo yakho yokuqala engalunganga - ukutsaliswa kwengqumbo, ukucasula - yeka! Musa ukwenza nto ngaphandle kokucinga kakuhle. Yeka ingqwalasela engafanelekanga kumntwana oselula.
2. Qaphela ukuba ngokuziphatha kwakhe akwenzi nto nantoni na kuwe nantoni na embi (intetho ngezenzo, iziganeko ebomini bomntwana). Cinga ngolu hlobo kwixesha elide. Ukwenza oku, unokucinga ukuba umntwana - kungeyena wakho, kodwa, kuthetha, ummelwane okanye isihlobo esikude. Ingaba uvakalelwa ngumsindo?
3. Thembela umntwana! Kukho into efuna inkululeko ekulawuleni. Nceda usivuke, uzuze.
Unokuziva unomnqweno onzima wokusebenza njengangaphambili - ukuziva usizi, inceba, ukukhathazeka, ufuna ukumbuza imibuzo, unikele inxaxheba yakho ... Yeka! Endaweni yoko, gcina ithoni enobungane kunye nentombazana. Le nto ingundoqo kuzo zonke iimpawu zemfundo yabantwana abaselula. Njalo ubambe inkumbulo yakho: "Ndiyayenza okulungileyo, ingxaki ayikho kum, kodwa nale nsizwa." Akazange enze into engalunganga kum. "
Gxininisa kwimicimbi yakho, zama ukuphazamisa kwimicimbi yomntwana - de, mhlawumbi, isikolo, amapolisa, njl. Emva koko sifuna ukuthetha ngokugqithiseleyo nomntwana, kodwa kuphela kwifom ye-I-ingxelo. Oku kubaluleke kakhulu!
4. Qaphela ukuba uncedo lwakho kwaye, ngexesha elifanayo, unqwenela ukuba, ngokwakho umbono, umntwana kufuneka enze ("andisayi kulawula, zonke iinyawo ozithathayo, kodwa ndifuna ukuba unomonakalo obuncinane kwikamva lakho ...").
5. Ukuba kufanelekile, unokukhumbuza umntwana ngokuzimisela ukunceda, ukuba yena ngokwakhe ucele, kwaye umcele ukuba achaze oko ungenzela yona. Kwaye lo mda, mnike inxaxheba kuye.
6. Kubaluleke kakhulu! Ukuvakalisa ukukholelwa ukuba umntwana uyamkela kwaye enze isigqibo esifanelekileyo ("Ndiyazi ukuba uya kwenza konke okufunekayo ukuze ...".)