Ibhinqa okanye indoda, ngomnqweno wendalo wokukholisa abanye, zama ukubonisa umntu omtsha kwintlanganiso yokuqala. Ngelo xesha, abayikrokreli ukuba impembelelo yabo yenziwa ngombandela wemizuzwana. Ukuze senze isigqibo esifanelekileyo kumntu, asinikwe ngaphezu kwemizuzwana engama-15.
Yintoni ekufuneka iyenze kwimizuzu yokuqala ye-15 yoqhagamshelwano ukwenzela ukufezekisa oko kuthiwa "ukungenelela"? "IMIGAQO YEZICWANGCISO EZINTATHU" isiseko sokuphumelela ukujoyina umnxibelelwano, othi ukuba uqhagamshelwano olukhawulezayo nolunempumelelo, kufuneka ukwazi kwaye wenze ezi zintathu izenzo eziphambili.
I-pluses ezintathu - I-SMILE, IGAMA kunye NOKUQULISWA.
SMILE
Imimic kunye nokunyakaza yindlela yokuqala yokunxibelelana phakathi konina nomntwana. Siyabulela ukulinganisa, iintetho zethu zinikwa ubuqili, imifanekiso, ukucaca nokucacisa. Ubungqina obuthembekileyo ngakumbi beenjongo, iinjongo kunye neengcamango zomntu, kunokuba akhulume ngamazwi akhe, anokuthetha ngokulula.
Ukumomotheka ngokunyanisekileyo, kuya kuqhubeka kubonisa intsingiselo yomntu kwaye kuqinisekiswe ukungabikho kweenjongo ezimbi zobungendawo, iimfuno ezigwenxa. Ukumomotheka kukungaqondakali ngenye indlela njengobonakaliso benceba kunye nenkxalabo, ithemba kunye novelwano.
Ngaba wakha wazama ukumomotheka? Kungenzeka ukuba, umpasitori uya kuphendula ngokumomotheka. Ngamanye amaxesha kunomnye: ngokuphendula kumomotheka wakho, umdluli-ukhangele kude okanye udidekile. Isizathu salokhu sixoxwa ngokungaqhelekanga kokumomotheka kwakho, okanye kwiingxaki zengqondo yomntu. Ukumomotheka okunomdla kunokufudumala umphefumlo kwanomntu onzima kakhulu obilisiwe kunye novaliweyo, ukumamatheka kuyaphazamisa. Ukumamisa kukubonakaliswa kwangaphandle kwemvakalelo emihle. Unokunciphisa amava amnandi kwaye ubuyisele ukulinganisela kwengqondo. Vumani iingoma zokumomotheka kwaye unako ukuvakalisa i-infinitum. Kodwa indlela yokuzityhozela, ukuba intliziyo yakho imbi, kwaye abantu abajikelezileyo abayonwabanga nonke?
Zama ukufumana ekubonakaleni komntu into enomdla, inomdla, mhlawumbi idayi.
Ukuba oku kungasebenzi, sebenzisa ngokwakho. Thatha isibuko nasesekhaya, phambi kwesibuko uzame ukwenza ezinye i-grimaces ezihlekisayo. Khumbula i-anecdote yokugqibela oyintandokazi kwaye ubujonge ngokwakho kwisibuko. Umahluko othe xa uthelekiswa ne-grimace?
Zama ukudlala lwakho nosapho okanye ngabahlobo kumdlalo abathile ababizayo ngokuthi "abaculi." Abathathi-nxaxheba kumdlalo (ababini) bahlala kwiindawo eziphambene kunye kwaye, bekhangele amehlo kwintshaba, zama ukumhleka. Osilahlekileyo nguye oqala ukuhleka. Kunokwenzeka ukuba ubambe i-tournaments epheleleyo kwi "peepers".
Smile! Musa ukulibala kuphela ngamazwi kaBaron Munchausen: "Ukuhleka kwandisa ubomi kubantu abahlekayo, kodwa kubabo baqhekeza ...".
NAME
Umthetho wesibini "wokudibanisa" wokunxibelelana ngokuphumelelayo ekuqhagamshelaneni kokuqala ngu-NAME. Impembelelo yegama elibiziweyo (okanye libhaliweyo) kumphathi walo alikaqondi ngokupheleleyo. Nangona kunjalo, nakubani na, kuyacaca ukuba igama elibiziweyo lisebenza kwizinzulu zobuncwane bomntu kwaye ngendlela engummangaliso iguqula imeko yayo kwimeko yecandelo lesibini. Kuba nawuphi na kuthi, igama lilizwi elihle kunazo zonke eliyaziyo. Eli gama lathethwa ngamashumi amawaka ngamaxesha ngomlomo omnene nomnene womama. Ngoko ke, sinesiqhelo sokuxubusha into ethile, eyethu, xa igama lethu libizwa. Ukuqonda okungaqondakaliyo kokubandakanyeka kusenza sisabele ngokukhawuleza egameni lethu, esenziwa ngabani na, nanini na naphi na.
Umzekelo.
Zama ukuqhathanisa isimo somntu ogqithiselwa ngamagama avela kumntu womntu ofanayo, ngaphandle kokuba uyiqambe igama, umzekelo: 1.- Natasha, linda ... 2.- Hle! Lindela ...
Kwanele ukuba uzibeke endaweni yalo mntu kwaye ucinge ukuba bajika njani kuwe, ukuze ukwazi ukuva ngokucacileyo le miqathango.
Siphendula ngokuqinisekileyo egameni lethu, nangona xa umnxibelelwano uthetha kakubi ngathi. Uyakhumbula "ihlaya"? Umntu ohambahambayo udlula isitalato esityebileyo endaweni engafanelekanga. Ngaye, imoto ye-chic iyayeka. Ukusuka kwifestile yemoto intloko "yeRashiya entsha" ikhupha kwaye ithi: "Kwawe, iibhokhwe, kukho inqanawa yakhiwa !!!". Umntu ohamba ngeenyawo, ebuyela ekhaya, uthi: "Nabo" abatsha baseRussia ", bavela, bafana nabafana - omnye umile namhlanje, wabuyela kum" ngenxa yakho ", kwaye uyazi nokuba yindinwa yam" Kozlov "kwindawo ethile !!!"
Igama liphawu lobaluleka bomntu, uphawu lobuni bakhe. Masikhumbule oku xa sithetha.
UKUZIPHILA
Kwingqondo kunye nokunconywa kukuloluhlu lwe "stroking." Unokwenza "ukubetha okumnandi" kumnxibelelwano, apho engathandabuzekiyo unyanzelekile ukuba aphendule ngendlela efanayo "yokubuyisela ityala." Ngaba i-"stroking" yakho iya kwamkelwa - kuxhomekeke kwiimeko (indawo, ixesha, umongo, uhlobo 'lokutshatyalaliswa'). Kuyafaneleka okanye akufanelekanga ukuba "ukubetha", njengoko uqondayo, kuxhomekeke kuwe kuphela, oko kukuthi, ngokukwazi kwakho ukukhetha indawo, isikhundla, umzuzu, uhlobo lokuncoma, isizathu. Konke oku, kuya kuthi, kuya kuxhomekeka kumlinganiselo omkhulu ekuqwalaselweni kwakho, ubuchule, ukukhululeka nokulungelelanisa.
Ekubonweni kokuqala, kubonakala ngathi akukho nto ilula kunokuba sincoma umnxibelelwano. Kodwa emva kokumncoma nokubona umzuzu wokuthukuthela, ukudideka, ukuhlazeka, ukungahambi kakuhle okanye udonga lokungakhathaleli, siqala ukuvakalelwa kukuba senze into engalunganga ... Sibona ukuba senze iphutha, kwaye indlela eya entliziyweni yomnxibelelwano kuthi ngoku valiwe. Ngokuqhelekileyo senza ezi mpazamo zilandelayo:
1. Sincoma ngokuthe ngqo kumntu ongaqhelekanga okanye ongaqhelekanga.
Khawucinge ukuba umntu ongowesihambi kwisitrato uthi kuwe: "Oo, uyindoda enomdla!" okanye "Ntombazana, uhle kakhulu!".
Ukunconywa, wathi ebunzini ukudikibala, ubungqina bokungabonakali nabangenalwazi. Ezinzulwini zentliziyo yakhe, unokuthanda i-addressee, kodwa ngenxa yelizwi elibona lonke lezenzo zentlalo, ummkeli uyakunqaba nje esidlangalaleni. Ukuqhagamshelana okuqhubekayo kubonakala kungenakwenzeka, ngoko oku kuyanceda kuphela umntu owaziwayo. Kule meko, kuya kuba nzima nokuba uyigqithise ngeempembelelo.
2. Senza uncomelo ngokufanelekileyo, ngokukhawuleza, kuba "sidinga ukuncoma ngazo zonke iindleko."
Akunandaba nokuba uthetha ngelixesha elifanayo. Umnxibelelwano kunye nengqondo yakhe engqondweni uya kuziva ngokukhawuleza oko kwenzekayo, kwaye ukuba akukho ntembeko, akukho mnye udibana naye. Ukuncoma okunjalo kuya kubonwa njengentlonelo.
3. Sincoma ngokungazenzisiyo, ngaphandle kokuthembela kwinyani kunye nesimo somnxibelelwano.
Xa umnqweno wokwenza uncomo ube yinto yokunyusa, phantse ulawulo olulahlekileyo lwaloo meko. Asisaboni izibonakaliso ezicacileyo: umntu ukhathazekile okanye ukhawuleza, okanye uyesaba, okanye uthathwa ngumdla umdla (kwaye kubalulekile kuye) umsebenzi.
Nangona kukho konke, 'siwumisela' kuluntu kuluntu lwethu, ukuthetha kwethu, "amahlaya athile" kunye "nokuncoma kwangaphambili." Kule meko, thina, njengokuba kunjalo, sizincoma thina, kwaye kungekhona ukuba sixoxe. Impumelelo kule meko ayinakwenzeka, ekubeni umnxibelelwano wakho unganakwenzeka ukuba unomdla, kunye neengxaki kunye neengcamango zakho. Ikhefu lingenziwa kuphela ngokusetyenziswa kwekhono "kwimeko yomnxibelelwano", i. "ukujoyina" ngenxa yokuncoma okungekho ngqo.
Enye yezona ndlela zisebenzayo kakhulu zokuthi "ukubetha" kukuthi "ukuncoma okungahambi ngqo." Kulo xesha sibonisa ukuvelana, ukudumisa, ukunyaniseka kungekuye ngokwakhe, kodwa ukuvavanya imeko, imizwelo, abantu, izinto kunye nezinye izinto ezinxulumene ngqo okanye ezingahambelani naye. Indoda, ebona intombazana ethandekayo ehamba inja (nayiphi na intlobo), yamemeza ithi: "Oo, yintoni inja! Uyakwazi ntoni na? Kwenzeka njani ukuba lolu hlobo lubizwe? Ndingathanda into efanayo ... kodwa akukho mntu ubonisana naye. .. "kunye nezinye.
Umntu, ebonakala eofisi yomlawuli weenkampani ethile, ekhuphe ngokugqithiseleyo: "Yeka indlela enhle ngayo! Kufudumele kwaye kucolile ... kwaye yonke intoni, inomdla." Kakade, kwinkampani enjalo mhlawumbi inomdla ukusebenza ... " .
Kwimeko nganye ethile, uncomelo olutsha lunokuzalwa. Khangela ngeenxa zonke! Emva koko, ihlabathi elizungezile lizele izinto ezahlukeneyo (eziphilileyo kunye ezingenamntu). Akukho nanye kwezi zinto azibi okanye zilungile. Le ntliziyo yethu yenza ukuba kunjalo. Dumisani umntu onedeski yakhe imfumba yamaphephancwadi, iifoto, iimbulelo kunye nezinye izinto, ngenxa yokuzilalisa kwile ofisi. Unganqikazi ukuvakalisa umntu ohlambulukileyo kwiofisi yakhe, njengokwindawo yokusebenza, kwaye akukho nto ingabonakaliyo ekuzinikezelweni nasekufundiseni kwintlangano yakhe. Ukuba ufuna ngokunyanisekileyo ukufumana okulungileyo kwindlela yokuphila okanye umsebenzi we-interlocutor - uya kuyifumana. Emva koko akuyi kuba neengxaki ngokuncoma.
Umsebenzi osebenzayo: emva kokubona nayiphi na into, zama ukufumana indumiso kumnini wayo onokwenzeka. Bhala ingcamango kwincwadi ekhethekileyo phantsi kwecandelo "Ukuncoma okungekho ngqo kubanikazi bezinto ezikufutshane nathi." Zama ukuqokelela iirekodi ezimbini okanye ezintathu, kwaye uya kuziva ukuba kulula kangakanani ukwenza ukuncoma.
Ngokutsho kweengqondo zeengqondo, enye yeemeko ezinokumangalisa kwaye ezikhunjulwayo zibizwa ngokuthi "Minus Plus" ukuncoma.
Ingundoqo yale nkomfa kukuba wena, okokuqala, njengokungathi ugxeke umntu ngenxa yezinto ezingezizo ezibalulekileyo. Umnxibelelwano wokuxhamla, uqala ukukhathazeka okufutshane malunga nokushiya nokunyaniseka ukuba uya kushiya ngoluvo lwakho. Kodwa kulo mzuzwana usho ukuncoma, okuyikhulu elininzi ngaphezulu. Umnxibelelwano uyavuya. Ukuncoma okunjalo kusebenza ikhulu leepesenti ukuba i-"minus" yokuqala ibuthakathaka kakhulu kuneyesibini "plus". Impembelelo eqinisekisiweyo yale nkomfa ichazwe ngoluhlobo lwengqondo yomntu, yindlela efanayo yomsebenzi wayo.