Ngaloo ndlela, xa unako ukugcina inzondo, uthando luyakwazi ukugcinwa. Kodwa njani ukugcina uthando lomntu?
Masiqale sifumane isikhokelo kwiimvakalelo esizifumanayo. Ndiyicinga ukuba umehluko phakathi kothando nothando lwabaninzi lufumana amava kunye nokuqonda ukuba akukho uthando olutshintsho phezu kwexesha lokwenene uthando lokwenene lukhoyo.
Ngoko ke siqale ngokuwa ngothando.
Ehlabathini, kunokwenzeka ukuba akukho mntu ongazange amthandane. Urhulumente uyaziqhelanisa wonke umntu: izibongo ezibethelwa ngabalobi ezichazwe, ezipapashwa ngabaculi kunye, nangosayensi kunye nabahloli, bahlola. Ngenxa yoko, andiyi kuphinda ndiphinde, kodwa ndiya kuphakamisa okungaqhelekanga, ngenxa yethu sonke, indawo yokujonga. Makhe sijonge uluthando njengoluhlobo lwenkokhelo olusenziwa ngendalo okanye ngoThixo okanye kwihlabathi okanye kwi-Universe okanye Ubomi, okanye mhlawumbi ngoLuthando, kwaye siqonda indlela yokulondoloza uthando lomntu.
Nawuphi na kuthi, bobabini abasetyhini kunye nabesilisa, ubonakaliswe kukukhangela ekutshweni, njengokuba kushiwo ngaphambili, ngomntu onqamlekileyo okanye ogqityiweyo. Ngoku sithetha igama elithi "elungileyo". (Kwaye, kutheni? Masibe "iqabane elihle"). Ngoko, izazinzulu zafika kwisigqibo sokuba inxaxheba yelungu elifanelekileyo lobomi bonke, ubuncinane abantu abayi-10 000 bafanelekile. Ngenxa yoko, ukuba sinokubonana okanye siphila kunye ne "iqabane elifanelekileyo" kuthi liphezulu, ngoko kufuneka sizame ukugcina uthando.
Umbuzo: Ngoko kutheni i-divorce ihlala njalo? Kutheni umntu owezolo efungela uthando olungenakufa, namhlanje unokubangela inzondo?
Inyaniso yokuba "wayengaphambili komnye" yayisimo sothando esasiziva ngayo. Ukuwa othandweni kukubonisa ukuba umntu ozithandayo unokuba ngumlingani wakho ofanelekileyo. Nangona kunjalo, ukuthandana ngothando kusenokuba yimpumelelo, ukugqithisa imibala kunye neemvakalelo, ezibonisa into ebaluleke kakhulu kumntu. Olu hlobo loxinzelelo lwengqondo yethu nomzimba. Kwiinkqubo zokujonga izinto ezibonakalayo ngokucacileyo, amava, asikwazi ukuhlala ixesha elide. Ixesha elidlulayo kunye nayo yonke into iya kuvukela "eyakhe" kwaye .... oku kwangaphambili sele kusetshenzisiwe. Kodwa ngoku uyazi malunga neqabane lakho kakhulu kwaye konke okusemgangathweni okukuyo. Umlingani wakho, naye, wakwazi ukufumana iimpawu zakho ezilungileyo. Kwaye ngoku kuza ixesha okanye uthando, okufuneka udale (kunye) okanye umkhwa okanye ukwahlukana.
Uthando luni na kutheni lufanele ludalwe kwaye lulondolozwe?
Uthando luyakwazi ukuwamkela omnye umntu njengoko uzithanda ngokwakho, umzi, ukuqonda. Ndiya kugxininisa: Yivume ngokwakho. Ngamaxesha amaninzi, ukukhangela kwisibuko, ngaba siyayithanda indlela esibukeka ngayo? Singazivame kaninzi ukuba sibaphumelele ngokwenene kule bomi? Zihlala ziqhayisa ngaphi iimpumelelo zethu?
Ngokuqhelekileyo imbambano yokuphula ubudlelwane phakathi, ekuqalekeni, ukuthandana kukuba asikwazi ukuwamkela nokuzithandayo. Ukuba andinako ukuzamkela mna, ukuba ndibeka ityala, ndikugwebe, ndizithukuthele, ngoko ndingamkela njani omnye umntu, ndingathini na ukugcina uthando? Ngoko ke. Ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba, kunye nomntu othandekayo, ulwalamano luye lwaphulukana nendima yalo, ukuba inzondelelo kunye nokukhathala kuza kwindawo yokuvuyela ukuhlangana kunye noqhagamshelwano, zixakeke kunye nawe.
Fumana imida yobomi bakho, apho uziva ungaqinisekanga khona. Khangela oko ungathanda ukutshintsha ekubonakaleni kwakho, ngokwakho. Musa ukulibala: iqabane lakho ngumfanekiso wakho, isibuko sakho. Yaye ukuba awuhlali ujongene nokuziphatha kwakhe, imikhwa, isimo sakhe sengqondo kuwe - oku kuthetha ukuba awuthandi. Ungesabi ukutshintsha, kodwa akudingeki utshintshe umntu, kodwa ukuba uzive ukhululekile kwaye uqinisekile.
Musa ukoyika utshintsho. Khumbula isikolo, indlela enzima ngayo isifundo esiqhutywe kuyo kwaye ngokukhawuleza utshintsho lwaphela. Zingaphi izinto ozenzayo kwimizuzu emfutshane engu-10-15: ukuxabana kunye nokwenza abahlobo, ubhale kwakhona umsebenzi wesikolo, ubale umncintiswano, wamukele isimemezelo sothando, uzuze i-tic-tac-toe, ugijime ... kwaye uluhlu luqhubeka ngonaphakade. Ngoko kutheni sinoyika kakhulu ukutshintsha namhlanje? Yintoni eye yatshintshile, kutheni "isifundo" esithandekayo - kwaye utshintsho olukhawulezileyo luye lwaba "ibhola elimnyama"?
Ngaloo ndlela: Imvakalelo yokuwa emthandweni - le yithuba apho umntu ebonakala khona zonke izici ezintle. Emva koko, abadluliyo naphi na, baqala nje "ukudibanisa nemvelaphi jikelele" kuthi kuthi ngethuba elithile ukuba siyanyanzelekile ukuba siqonde oko sifuna ngokwenene. Ngaba silwela ukuba nalo mntu kulo lonke ubomi kunye nokwakha ubudlelwane obutsha ndawonye ngelixa silondoloze uthando lomntu kwaye siqaphela ukuba akuyiyo yonke into eya kuhamba kakuhle ngale ndlela, sifuna ukuba ubudlelwane bube ngumkhwa okanye unakho, ngenxa yokuqwalasela ngokufanelekileyo, Kungcono ukuhamba?
Mhlawumbi zonke iindlela ezintathu, kodwa ningacingi ukuba zikhona kuphela. Ukunyaniseka kusinika inani elikhulu leezinketho. Yaye nayiphi na indlela ekhethiweyo nguwe ekuphuculeni ulwalamano oluqhelekileyo. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba uthetha uthando, ngoko, ngokukodwa, jonga kumlingane wakho njengengcamango yakho. Ungakulibali ukuba ukuba ungathandi into ekhethiweyo, kufuneka ukhangele ngaphakathi uze ubone le propati. Ukubona kwaye kufuneka utshintshe. Ekubeni ukuze ulondoloze uthando lomntu, umntu kufuneka ahlale eshintsha. Emva koko, ungesabi utshintsho kunye noshintsho, utshintsho ngalunye luyilo elitsha ekuphuhliseni ubudlelwane, impahla yabo entsha.
Kwaye ekugqibeleni: zithande ngokwakho, wamukele ngokwakho. Yamkela kwaye uzithande ngokupheleleyo. Sonke siqhelekileyo abantu, oko kuthetha ukuba sinelungelo lokwenza iimpazamo. Ekugqibeleni, asikho kude noThixo, sizama nje ukuba sisondele ngakumbi kubo, kunye noThixo ngokwabo, ukuba sikholwa ukuba amaxesha amandulo ayenze amaphutha aze enze ukhetho olungalunganga.