Xa sithe sithandana, ngamanye amaxesha silahlekelwa yintloko size sibone umntu othandekayo phantsi kwe-prism yezingcamango zethu, ukulindela kunye neminqweno. Ngelishwa, akuyena wonke ulwalamano olunothando oluhlala iminyaka kwaye luphela ngomtshato ocolileyo. Ngamanye amaxesha kwenzeka ukuba lo mntu akayiyo yonke into efunekayo, kwaye kuyimfuneko ukuba athathe inxaxheba kuye ukuze angaphuthelwa ngokwenene. Ungayiqonda njani ukuba ubuhlobo ngokwabo bude bube budlulile kwaye lixesha lokungena kunye nomfana?
1. Ukuba uhlala ujongene nento yokuba umntu omncinci ekukhohlisa into ethile, ke le sizathu esibalulekileyo sokucinga ukuba kulungile ukuqhubeka naye. Ewe, ukuba umnqweno wakho uyinto yokuzonwabisa kunye nobudlelwane obufutshane obufutshane, ngoko unako ukuxolelana kunye nobuxoki bendoda, emva koko, inyaniso, akukho nto uyenzileyo. Kwaye ukuba uthe wagqiba ukutshata, cinga ukuba ufuna ukudala intsapho kunye nomntu ohlala ekhohlisa. Kwintsapho enjalo akunakwenzeka ukuba yimozulu yokuthembela.
2. Ukunyanzela inceba yomntu. Nayi imeko ephindwe kabini: ukuba ulungele ukucela imali kumyeni wakho wexesha elizayo, nangenxa yokuthenga okufunekayo, okanye uhlale udibanisa nelokuba ubala inani lemali esetyenzisiweyo kwi-lipstick okanye i-blouse entsha, ngokugqithiseleyo ukugqithisa amehlo akho kwindleko encinci, ngoko ke unomdla uqhubeke. Ukuba ufuna umntu ukuba angaboni kwaye anike izipho, uya kukuvuyisa, ngoko kuya kuba ngcono ukuhamba. Nangona kunjalo, umntu akufanele adibanise ukunyaniseka nokunyaniseka okungafanelekanga kunye nesidingo soqoqosho.
3. Ukuhlambalaza nokuhlaziswa. Le ngxaki ibaluleke ngakumbi kunezo zimbini zangaphambili. Ukuba umntu omncinci unokukwazi ukukubiza, ukuhlambalaza okanye ukuhlazisa nayiphi na indlela, ngoko ulwalamano oluqhubekayo kunye naye alukho. Ukuba kuye unayo "intsimbi" kwaye isifuba asiyingozi, kwaye ngokubanzi, umhle wobuhle kuye ngu-Masha ukusuka emnyango wendlela elandelayo, ngoko kufuneka ubeke ukumisa kule mihlazo kwaye umthumelele ukuba aphile kunye no-Masha efanayo. Kwaye bhetele uzifumene umntu oya kukuxabisa, ukuhlonela nokuthanda indlela ohlala ngayo. Ndikholelwe, kuya kuhlala kusekho. Ukuba uqhubeka uhlala nomntu ohlazisa kunye nokukuthuka, ukudandatheka, ukuzithemba ukuzithemba kunye neengxaki ezahlukeneyo kuya kufika kuwe kungekudala kwaye ukulahla kuzo kube lula.
4. Ukuhlaselwa. Lapha kwaye konke ngaphandle kokukhetha. Ukuba umntu uvumelekile ukuba akubethe, khawuleza uqokelele izinto zakho uze ubalekele ngaphandle kwakhe. Kwaye kunqweneleka ukubhala ingxelo kumapolisa ukuze umntu oncibilikileyo angayiqonda ukuba le nombolo ayiyi kudlula nawe. Abaninzi abafazi bahlala kunye nabayeni babo, ababetha baze bahlazise. Abantu abahluphekayo bayakuxolela ngokuzeleko zonke ezi zinto zengqondo kunye nethemba lokuba "ngomso kuya kuba ngcono". Kwaye akuyi kuba ngcono. Ukuba umntu uyabulala kanye, ngoko ke umntu wesibini uyawaxabela, ngoko ke indlela eqinisekileyo yokuphula le ngqungquthela enesicatshulwa kukuba uhambe kunye kunye nonke. Awukwazi ukudala intsapho nomntu onjalo ngokungathandabuzekiyo, ukuba impilo yakho yengqondo kunye nomzimba wakho kunye nabantwana bakho kwixesha elizayo uyithandeka kuwe. Ngendlela, intsimbi ephazamisayo kukuba umntu uzama ukutshintsha i-navas yakhe kwinkqubo yokuxabana. Kungenzeka ukuba unako ukubetha. Ngoko ke, mhlawumbi umshiye, okanye, nangona engakaniki isandla sakhe, uthetha ngokuthe tye naye kwaye uchaze ukuba unjalo unyango aluvunyelwe.
5. Ukhohlakele. Indoda engazange isuke i-skirt, akunakwenzeka ukuba yindoda enhle. Icala elilodwa lokuxolisa lingaxolelwa ngandlela-thile ngeemeko zokuguquka okupheleleyo komntu. Uxolele, kodwa ungalibali. Kwimeko nayiphi na into, ubudlelwane buya kulahleka imibala kunye kunye nokwethembelwa kwangaphambili akusayi kuba. Unokuzama ukuwagcina, okanye unokwenza nje inxenye-apha nantoni na inkazana inquma. Kodwa ukuba utshintshe uhlobo olusisiseko kwaye "ukuhamba ukuya ngakwesobunxele" kuye kwaba yindoda engathandekiyo yokuziphatha, ngoko ngokuqinisekileyo ixesha lokubeka ingongoma enkulu yeoli ebudlelwaneni.
6. Indoda iyimpasipati. Ukuba umntu ungumntu onobuqili kunye nomntu ocebileyo, ekhangela naziphi na izizathu, nje ukuba angasebenzi kwaye "ahlale entanyeni yomntu," ngoko kungenangqondo ukudala intsapho kunye naye kwaye uqhubeke nobudlelwane. Indoda ngeenkcazo kufuneka ihlale isondlo esikhulu kunye "nomninimzi" kwintsapho. Ukuqhubeka nolwalamano nomntu onama-parasite, ubeka ingozi ekuziphatheni ngokubanzi. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba uthando olunamandla alukho, ekugqibeleni uya kudinwa yelungiselelo lezinto, kwaye uya kukhwankqisa ukuzitshintsha. Ngoko ke, mhlawumbi kufuneka uphinde ufundise indoda, ufunde ngokuzimela, ukukhuthaza kunye nomsebenzi wokusebenza, okanye ulungele ukuba yinxalenye. Kwiamahlombe akho athathaka akufanele 'ahambe' enempilo, eqinileyo kwaye ekulungele ukuzondla nomqhubi.
Ukuba kukho nayiphi na impawu ekhankanywe apha ngasentla kulwalamano lwakho, ngoko kuyafaneleka ukuba ucinge ngokuphathelele ukwahlukana. Qonda ukuba ubudlelwane obude bububi kwaye lixesha lokushiya umfana wakhe, eqinisweni, elula kakhulu. Ufuna nje ukuma umzuzwana kwimeko yobomi kwaye ucinge: "Ndiyonwabile?". Ukuba awukwazi ukuphendula lo mbuzo ngokufanelekileyo, mhlawumbi ukuhlukana kuyona ndlela ikhethekileyo.