Ukutshatyalaliswa komtshato - kuhlala kubuhlungu, kungakhathaliseki ukuba ubude buhlala phi ixesha, kunye necala labo lingekho kwikhefu. Nangona kunjalo, nangona unobandezeleka ngoku, unokubuyisela ekulahlekeni kwaye uqale ubomi obutsha nobhetele. Indlela yokuhlala umfazi emva komtshato, indlela yokujongana nokudakumba nokuqala ubomi obutsha kwaye uya kuxutyushwa ngezantsi.
Umtshato wakho awukho. Yamkela le nyaniso. Uziva nje nje ubuhlungu bentlungu, intukuthelo, ukudideka. Uloyiko lakho kwikamva kunye nekamva lomntwana wakho. Awazi ukuba uza kwenza ntoni emva koko, ngubani omele akholelwe, omele amthande, omele uyamthemba. Uyazibuza emakhulu imibuzo, eziphambili zazo "Yintoni endiyenzileyo?", "Yiyiphi na yethu emele ityala?", "Kutheni le nto yenzeke kum?". Uloyikeka ngethuba lokulala ubusuku, inzala yomama ongatshatanga, ubomi ngomvuzo omnye ... Ngoko, yintoni enokukunceda ukuba uphumelele kwingozi emva komtshato? Nazi amanyathelo ambalwa enkululeko kunye nolonwabo.
1. Vumela usizi, umsindo kunye neinyembezi
Wena ungumntu ophilayo. Kwaye akukho nto uhlawulayo nantoni na. Akumele uzinze, akufanele ufihle iimvakalelo zakho uze wenze sengathi umtshato awukuthinteli ngokomzwelo. Oku akukwenzekayo. Kukho rhoqo iimvakalelo-nokuba ngumsindo nenzondo, okanye inzondo kunye nokuphelelwa yithemba, okanye intlungu kunye nengqiqo yokungasebenzi. Into ephambili kuwe kule mzuzwana kukukhumbuza ukuba iziganeko zengqondo ezihamba kunye nani ngokuqhelekileyo zendalo. Ekugqibeleni, ukwahlukanisa ngenye yezona zinto zibuhlungu kakhulu, ubunzima bexinzelelo ngexesha elifanayo lifaniswa nokufa komntu othandekayo. Ngaloo ndlela unelungelo lokukhala, ukudabuka, ukukhala nokungaqondi.
Musa ukulwa nolonwabo. Ngokuchaseneyo, yamukele kwaye uphile njengokuba uye waba nesililo. Ngaba ufuna ukukhumbula into ebalulekileyo ebuhlotsheni bakho? Oku akuyingozi, ngoko unokuzibonakalisa ukuba umtshato wakho awuzange udale ize. Yaye ukuba ingqumbo yakho iqhuma njengentaba-ungayigodli. Khawucaphuke, khala, unokukhenkcela esihlalweni apho wayekuthanda ukuhlala khona. Eyona nto izisa uncedo.
2. Musa ukujika kwiintsapho kunye nabahlobo.
Oku kubaluleke kakhulu. Nangona ufuna ukubalekela ekupheleni kwehlabathi - ungawaphuli umtshato. Kuya kuba luncedo kakhulu ukudibana nezihlobo, xubusha le meko, uvakalise isikhundla sabo, phulaphule izikhundla zabanye. Olunye ulunge "unyango" luyaqhagamshelana nalabo abaye baqonda ukuba bakho baqwalasele. Xa intombi ehlukanisile ingaba yintsiphelo yengqondo efunekayo kakhulu enamava athile kwimibandela yobomi emva kokuqhawula umtshato. Uya kubona ukuba akukho nto ikhuthaza njengentetho nomntu owaziyo ukuyixabisa induduzo kunye nesimo sobudlelwane obusondeleyo kunye nosapho kunye nabahlobo.
3. Ungagxinyi intlungu ngotywala-le nyathelo ingaba yingozi.
Ngokwezibalo, ngaphezu kwe-80% yabasetyhini abatywalayo baba njalo emva kokuqhawula umtshato okanye bahlukane nabathandekayo babo. Ukuze ukhululeke ekucingeni iingcamango, zifumane umsebenzi. Ngokomzekelo, ngena kwimidanso okanye kwimidaniso yaseMpumalanga. Fumana inja okanye ikati - akukho nonyango olungcono kunokuba uxoxe nesilwanyana. Khawukhumbule - intlungu emva kokuqhawula umtshato iya kudlulela ixesha elithile, kwaye isilwanyana siya kuba nani, kakhulu ixesha elide.
4. Funa uncedo kumgqirha.
Yenza oku ukuba unobunzima bokusilela, ukuphathwa kwentloko, ukuba unengxaki yesondlo sakho, ukuxinezeleka, ukuxhalabisa nokuzithemba kukuphazamisa ubomi bakho bemihla ngemihla. Ngenkxaso yeengcaphephe (ngubani onokukunceda u-pharmacologically) kulula ukufumana ukukhanya emanzini kwaye uhlale ezinyaweni zakho emva kokuqhawula umtshato.
5. Yiba isambulela esikhuselekileyo kubantwana
Ukubakhombisa imisebenzi yasekhaya kunye nohlahlo lwabiwo-mali onokujamelana nalo akukho nto kuthelekiswa nento yokuba umntwana ushiywe ngaphandle koyise. Okuxhalabisayo ngakumbi ngumbono wendlela yokuhlala ngumfazi onomntwana ezandleni zakhe, indlela yokuziphatha naye, indlela yokukhusela kwiimvakalelo. Ungalokothi ukhohlwe: umyeni wakho wangaphambili unembopheleleko kumntwana wakhe. Inyaniso yokuba abahlali ndawonye kunye akuthethi ukuba ngokukhawuleza wayeka ukuba ngumzali. Akufanele uphazamise uxhulumaniso lopapa ngomntwana, ukuba ufuna. Kwaye kufuneka bamkhumbuze ngemisebenzi yomntwana, ukuba ngokukhawuleza "wayibala" malunga nayo.
Nangona kunokuba nzima, vumelana ngokuqinileyo ukuba umyeni wakho wangaphambili uza kuthatha inxaxheba ekukhuliseni nasekuqhubekekeni ubomi bakho kubantwana bakho. Ngokukodwa kwimibandela ebalulekileyo njengokukhetha isikolo okanye isibhedlele, inkampu yehlobo okanye isangqa sophuhliso. Akufanele uthintele uyihlo ekubeni athathe inxaxheba ebomini bemihla ngemihla yabantwana (umzekelo, ukuwathabatha ngaphandle kwintanga yesibini, ukuya kwiintlanganiso zabazali esikolweni, njl.). Khumbula, kubalulekile ukuba abantwana bahlale beqhagamshelana noyise. Ngoko abazive bengenanto kwaye belula ukufumana utshintsho ebomini bakho.
Chaza kubantwana izizathu zokuqhawula umtshato wakho, ukuba awukwenzi oko. Into enjalo kukuba abantwana bahlala becinga ukuba abazali babo bahlukanisile ngenxa yabo. Ingakumbi abantwana abancinci. Ingqiqo yabo yile: "Ubaba ushiye ngenxa yokuba ndibi." Unyanzelekile ukuba uqinisekise umntwana ukuba akaphosoli kwikhefu. Khetha amagama ngokwexesha lomntwana. Kodwa qiniseka ukuthetha naye. Iintsholongwane zibona imeko ngokucacileyo. Baye bakwazi ukuvavanya umfanekiso wangempela wezinto ezenzekayo. Ngamanye amaxesha abafuni ukuchasana nenyaniso yokuba abazali baqhawule umtshato xa bebona ukuba ubudlelwane babo abukho ikusasa. Enyanisweni, umntwana omdala, kulula kakhulu kuye ukuba asinde ukuhlukana kwabazali bakhe kwaye kulula kakhulu kuwe.
6. Kancinci qalisa ukucinga ngekamva
Emva kokuqhawula umtshato kuya kudlula iinyanga ezimbalwa, kwaye usenamathela kwixesha elidlulileyo. Uhlala ucinga ngento eyenzekayo, uzive uxolo, uhlalutye yonke into ngokuphindaphindiweyo, uzama ukufumana isizathu sendawo. Ewe, ukulungiswa emva kokuqhawula umtshato kuthatha ixesha, kodwa kufuneka ubuncinane uzame ukunciphisa eli xesha. Ngaphandle koko, awuyi kuba nekamva. Zama ukugxila kwizinto ezenzekayo ngoku, nakwizinto ezizayo. Akukho imfuneko yokuphelisa zonke iinkumbulo. Unokuba unxulumene nezinto ezintle, ngakumbi ukuba unabantwana. Kodwa ngexesha kwiifoto ezifanayo kunye nezipho ezivela kuye kufuneka zifihlwe phantsi kwebhokisi kwaye zisuswe. Ukunyamekela imicimbi yangoku, eyelinde ixesha lokuhlala. Cinga ngezinto oza kwenza ngazo ngeveki, umzekelo, indlela oza kuqhuba ngayo iiholide ezizayo kunye neeholide kunyaka okhoyo. Kwakhona kufuneka uzinakekele kunye nokuzonwabisa kwakho.
Musa ukuzigijima. Zama ukubheka okuhle kangangoko, okanye ngakumbi. Qinisekisa ngaphambi kokuba uphume endlwini ukuze wenze ukulungiswa okufanelekileyo, tyelela umnwele okanye ubuhle be-salon rhoqo. Yiya kuthengisa uze uzinye ngezinto ezintsha zokugqoka. Khumbula ukuba oku akukho okweqile, kodwa indlela yokuhlangabezana nokudandatheka! Le nxalenye ebalulekileyo yonyango lwakho, eya kukunceda ubuye uzuze.
Khetha ubuncinane ubusuku omnye ngeveki kwiintlalontlalontlalontlalontlalontlalontlu - njengentlanganiso yokuhlangana nabasemini, ukuya kwiibhayisikobho okanye kwiintsapho ezikumemele ukuba zivakatye. Musa ukuvalela endlwini kwaye ungavaleli ngaphakathi. Kuya kuba nzima nakakhulu ukujamelana nawe wodwa. Ukongezelela, ukuthetha nabahlobo kunye nokuphuma "ekukhanyeni," unamathuba amaninzi okuqala ukuqala kolwalamano olutsha.
7. Zama ukuba ungayinqali uthando olutsha
Indlela abafazi abahlala ngayo emva komtshato, kukho inkqubo ethile. Zifana neyona nto ephambili-ekungathembeki kumadoda. Ixesha elingaphantsi elidlulileyo emva kokuqhawula umtshato - ukungaqiniseki ngakumbi oku. Ujonge ngamadoda angqongeyo kwaye unqabile. Omnye ucinga ukuba uya kumthanda umntu kwakhona, ubonakala unengcikivo. Awufuni mntu. Akukho. Intlungu yakho inamandla kakhulu . Kodwa enyanisweni, uphosakele. Ulwalamano olutsha lunokwenzeka kwaye luyimfuneko.
Akufanele ukhawuleze ufikelele ekuthandeni ukufumana iqabane elitsha. Nangona kunjalo, yamkela into yokuba abaninzi abafazi, nangona kunjalo, bakhela ubomi bomntu emva kokuqhawula umtshato kwakhona. Kwaye-ngokubaluleke kakhulu - ulwalamano olutsha luhlala luvisisana kwaye luhlala luhlala lwedlula kuqala.
Ungesabi ukukhangela ithuba elifanayo ukuhlangabezana nomntu onomdla. Kubalulekile ukusebenzisa ithuba lakho lokufumana ulonwabo kwakhona. Unokucela uncedo kwi-arhente yomtshato nakwiiwebhusayithi ezikhuthazwa ngabahlobo bakho. Akukho nto ihlazo ngale nto. Unelungelo lokonwaba, kwaye lo ngumsebenzi oyintloko wowesifazane oyinyaniso. Zithande ngokwakho, zenzele ngokwazo zonke ubuthakathaka bakho, kodwa ube namandla anele ukuqhubela phambili. Yakha ikusasa lakho, jongela ulonwabo - akuyi kuthatha ixesha elide ukulinda.