Ukongezelela, akulula ukutshintshwa kwinkqubo yobudlelwane jikelele, ebandakanya abahlobo, abantwana, abazali bomlingane ngamnye.
Iingxaki zeengqondo zentsapho emva kokuqhawula umtshato ziye zahluke kakhulu. Zixhomekeke kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo: ezivela kwizizathu zokuqhawula umtshato, ukususela ekuphenduleni ukuya kutshatyalaliswa, ukususela kwiminyaka yabafazi, ukusuka ebusweni babantwana. Ingxenye yeengxaki zomlingane ziyakwazi, kwaye zifikeleleke ekuboneni abantu bangaphandle. Kwaye ezinye zeengxaki zihamba ngokungaqondakaliyo kwaye zingaphezulu kwiindawo ezifihlakeleyo ukusuka kwamehlo aphilileyo. Sibhala ezinye zazo.
Enye yeengxaki eziphambili kunye neentlungu kakhulu zentsapho emva kokuqhawula umtshato ingxaki yobudlelwane phakathi kwabasenyongweni kunye nabantwana. Akumangalisi ukuba abaninzi abantu bazama ukugcina intsapho ewayo ngenxa yabantwana. Ngenxa yokuqhawula umtshato ngokugqithiseleyo kuphazamisa iimeko zokukhuliswa nokuphuhliswa komntwana. Abazali abaninzi banokubuhlungu gqitha. Ingxaki yengqondo yomntwana kunye nentsapho ngokupheleleyo ingaxhatshazwa yimpikiswano kubantwana, kodwa nangona abafazi baxhamla ngoxolo, kubantwana oku kusengumngcipheko. Okokuqala, bangadideka kwintsapho, kwaye kwixesha elizayo abayi kukwazi ukwakha ubudlelwane obuthembayo emtshatweni. Okwesibini, izinto ezibuhlungu kunye nesimo sengqondo somama, apho abantwana abasoloko behlala khona, banefuthe elibi ekuphuhlisweni kwabo, ekusebenzeni kwesikolo. Emva kwexesha elithile emva kokuqhawula umtshato, kukho iingxaki ezongeziweyo kwi-intsebenziswano kunye "nobaba" omtsha kunye "nomama." Ngoko ingxaki ephambili kunye neyona nto eyintloko yokuqhawula umtshato ngumtshato wokuseka ubudlelwane nabantwana emva kokuhlukana kwentsapho.
Iingxaki zeengqondo zentsapho emva kokuqhawula umtshato zingakhutshwa ngokunciphisa umkhiqizo wezabasebenzi. Abanye abatshatileyo bazama ukuhamba ngokukhawuleza ukuya emsebenzini ukuzibala. Nangona kunjalo, akusoloko kunokwenzeka ukugxila kulo mbandela. Ukongezelela, uxinzelelo lwe-post-partum luyakunciphisa impilo kunye nemvakalelo yomntu, kwaye oku kungakhokelela kwimpikiswano emsebenzini, iimbopheleleko ezingenzi kakuhle okanye ukuxothwa.
Abantu abaninzi kwixesha lokugqibela emva kokufa bafumana izifo eziphathekayo. Izifo ezingapheliyo zibuhlungu, ezitsha zivela. Ubungakanani bokungena kwikliniki banda ngolwesithathu kubabhinqa nabasetyhini. Abantu abaqhawule umtshato xa bekhulile basengozini enkulu yokuhlaselwa intliziyo okanye ukubetha. Ukongezelela, ngeli thuba, inani labantu linyusa ukugula kwengqondo. Abantu abafanayo abangenayo, banokubamba ngokukhawuleza iimpawu ezingathandekiyo zobuntu. Abantu abasolisayo banokubakhokrha. Ezinye zivelisa iimpawu ezimbi zomlingane kwabanye abantu. Kwaye abantu abaninzi banomgangatho ophezulu wokungqubana nabantu.
Ingxaki enkulu yengqondo yentsapho emva kokuqhawula umtshato ingabunxila komnye wabatshatileyo. Abanye abantu bazama ukufumana ukungabikho kweengxaki kwiwayini, kwaye bona abazibonela ukuba umgca owonayo udlula, emva koko eso sifo siqala, kwaye kungekhona nje ukucwiliswa kwexesha elithile kwiimfumba zotywala. Kwimeko enjalo igcina ingqalelo kwabanye. Ukuba akukho mntu uthethayo, kungcono ukuya kwidonga okanye iblogi kwaye uthethe nomntu olapha kunokuba uzame ukufumana utywala obunxilisayo lweengxaki zengqondo.
Phakathi kwezinye izinto, abantu abahlukanisile abanenkinga enkulu kunye nokungafuni ukuvela kwintlobo. Iingxaki zentsapho zangaphambili zixinzelele kubo ukuba zisoyika ukuba nabantwana, ukuze bangenakho ukufumana esinye isixhobo sokunyanzelisa. Oku kuyinyani ngakumbi kubantu. Banobuchule babo bonke ubomi babo bunokungqubana ne-ex-wife wabo kunye nokuhlawula i-alimony. Kule meko, xa beqala ulwalamano olutsha, banqwenela kakhulu ukuba nabantwana. Kungatsholwa ukuba ukwahlukanisa ngokubanzi kunciphisa izinga lokuzalwa kweli lizwe.
Imiphumo yoqhawulo-mtshato ayinabo ngabafazi ngokwabo, kodwa kwiintsapho zabo, abantwana kunye nabahlobo nabo, kunzima. Yonke inkqubo yokuzala izithethe zentsapho, amahlaya, iindlela zokuchitha ixesha lokuzonwabisa ziyabhujiswa. Oku kwenza abantu bazive besweleka ngokwenene, kwaye abanye bafumana oku ngxaki kunye neengxaki.
Akunzima ukuqonda izizathu zezi ngxaki. Ingqalelo nje ukuxinezeleka kuhambelana nomzuzu wokwenza isigqibo sokuqhawula umtshato, kodwa zonke iziganeko ezilandelelanayo azikhululanga umntu onolonwabo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, imeko yokhuseleko emva kokuqhawula umtshato iza emva kweenyanga ezimbalwa, kwaye okokuqala iingxaki zengqondo zentsapho ezazikho ngaphambi kokuba umtshato uqine. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba abatshatileyo baxabana kwihostela okanye ngemali, kwaye emva kokuqhawula umtshato baqhubeka bekwabelana ngempahla. Ukuba intsapho yayinobudlelwane obunzulu nabazali bomntu, nangona emva kokuqhawula umtshato, le mpikiswano ayifali. Ngokuqhelekileyo, sinokuthi loo nkqubo yokuqhawula umtshato kunye neyokuqala emva kokuba ihlangene ngabantu abaninzi kakhulu kunzima kakhulu.