IRashiya inkulu kakhulu kwaye inani liphezulu kakhulu. Kwaye ngendlela yaseRashiya ayikho into encinane yeentsapho eziqhawule umtshato. Ngenxa yoko, kunokubakholelwa ukuba ngenxa yokuqhawula umtshato, abantwana bahlala bengenalo intsapho epheleleyo. Inkoliso ehlala kwinqanaba lomtshato losapho eliqhawule umtshato kunye neenkcukacha zibonisa. Unani loomama luhlala ngabahlolokazi, kodwa kutheni? Masiqwalasele ngakumbi. Unyaka ngamnye eRashiya kukho uphando malunga nombuzo wokuba ngumzali. Ngokukodwa, kukho uphando loomama kunye noomatshato abahlukanisile. Kuba amadoda kwiphepha lemibuzo, buza, imibuzo enjalo, ubona kangaphi abantwana bakho? Impendulo ininzi ayinayo impazamo, i-17% kuphela ibonwa, isiqingatha sinqabile, kwaye enye yesithathu ayikho. Kule nto sibona ukuba emva kokuqhawula umtshato, zikho izizathu ezininzi zokuhlangana nobawo nabantwana. Uphando olufanayo luqhutywa kubasetyhini. Babuzwa lo mbuzo, umyeni wakho ubona kangaphi abantwana?
Yaye impendulo ibaluleke kakhulu, kuba oomama oku kunzima kakhulu. Kwaye umbuzo uvela nokuba udibana nabantwana emva komtshato? Oobawo baphendula lo mbuzo ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo, njengoko wonke umntu uneemeko ezahlukeneyo - ohlala kwisixeko esifanayo kwaye ongenalo, ngubani ofumene indawo, kwaye ngubani ongayifumani, kwaye konke oku kucacileyo. Kwakhona kuxhomekeke ekubeni kuqhutywe umtshato, okokuthi, ixesha libalulekile kumntwana. Ukuba usengumntwana kwaye ngokubanzi akaqondi into ekhoyo, ngoko umtshato wakhe awuyi kubachaphazela kakhulu, njengoko engayiqondi ukulahleka okanye ingxaki. Kodwa ukuba umntwana usekhulile, oko kukuthi, sele eqonda ukubaluleka kokunyamekela nokukhathaza uyise nonina, ngoko umtshato uya kutshabalalisa. Kuxhomekeke kwisizathu sokuqhawula umtshato, kuba kuxhomekeka kwiintlanganiso zabazali nomntwana. Izizathu zinokuba zininzi: ungayithandi ingeniso yentsapho, ukukhwabanisa, iimfuno zesondo, imfundo yengqondo, utata okanye umama onxilisayo, umlutha weziyobisi, i-bandit zonke izizathu zokuqhawula umtshato, kungekhona zonke. Xa umama emva kokuba yedwa nomntwana, kukho ingcamango eyodwa kuphela engqondweni: indlela yokugcina unyana okanye intombi evela kubaba. Mhlawumbi wayedla kakhulu kwaye uyakwazi ukulawula, okanye ungumntu okhuselekileyo onokubeka intsapho yakhe engozini. Kukho amaninzi amaninzi kuwo wonke umhlaba, kwaye ukusuka apha awukwazi ukusinda naphi na. Utata emva komtshato, okanye uvumelana nomama malunga neentlanganiso kunye nomntwana, okanye ukushiya rhoqo, engabonakali kamva. Ukwahlukana akukho kuphela eRashiya, kodwa kwihlabathi lonke. Phantse lonke ilizwe lenza amanani anjalo. Ukuqhawula umtshato kunokukhokelela ekubangeni elibi ukuba bobabili nonina abavusanga umntwana.
Oku kubonakala kwiimeko ezinjalo, xa uyise ehamba intsapho, kwaye akayi kubona nomntwana, unina unengcamango engathandekiyo yokuba akanalo ukufundisa yena yedwa, kwaye unquma ukunika abazali bakhe okanye kwiinkedama. Emva kweso sizathu, umntwana akaboni mntu. Enyanisweni, ukuba uncinci kwaye akaqondi nto, ngoko ke xa ekhula, intliziyo yakhe ayiyi kubuhlungu kakhulu xa enikwa iminyaka emdala, xa eqonda zonke izinto namava kakhulu kakhulu. Umntwana kufuneka abone abazali bakhe. Kwintsapho, unina ngumxhasi othembekileyo kunomntwana, njengoko ekulungele ukuphakamisa umntwana yena aze amvuselele, ukuba uyise wayengelona mntu ulungile kwaye onobungozi, ukuba wayekho, kodwa sele ehamba kwaye akayi kubuya kungekudala. Okanye umama ugqugquzela ukuba wayengekho nhlobo kwaye akadingeki. Kunzima kamama ukuba acinge ukuba akukho ntata kwaye akukho ncediso. Umntwana udinga ubuncinane ilungu lentsapho elilodwa ukuba likhule libe ngumntu oqhelekileyo kunye nolumkileyo.
Kuza kubekho, baninzi oomama, kwaye abayekanga kwaye bavelise umntwana wabo othandekayo yodwa, kuba bahlala ngenxa yabantwana, kwaye abayidingi into enye. Obawo baphendula umbuzo wokuba kuyimfuneko ukudibana nabantwana, ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo, kunye noomama. Ukuba umyeni waqalisa intsapho ngenxa yabantwana kwaye wayefuna ukufundisa, ngoko uya kuthetha ukuba kuyimfuneko kwaye kuyimfuneko. Uya kuzuza imali kumntwana aze ahlawule ukutya kwakhe, iimpahla kunye nezifundo. Iimeko ezinjalo azincinci. Kodwa kukho ezinye iinguqulelo, ukuba indoda ayilungele le nqanaba, indlela yokuba nomntwana, kwaye umfazi unyanzelekile ukuba abe nosana, ngoko kuyacaca ukuba emva kokuqhawula umtshato uya kuhamba kuqala, ngenxa yokuba engazange aqonde oko wayekufunekayo kwaye akazange aphile lungele uzala.
Omnye umzekelo apho uyise enganikeli intsapho ixesha elaneleyo, oko kukuthi, aluniki abantwana, kwaye ngoko unina uqala ukuxhalaba kunye neengxoxo ezide. Yaye ukuba emva koko, indoda ayiyiqondi, nokuba kunjalo, ayikwazi ukuyeka umsebenzi wakhe, kuba le isonka sabo, kwaye le yinye inqabana yokuqhawula umtshato. Ngokubanzi, kunokuthiwa ukuba umtshato usubudeni obunzima kakhulu kubazali bobabini kunye nomntwana, kwaye ukuba abafazi abahlali kunye kunye nabatshatileyo, kukulungele ukumbona umntwana kungakhathaliseki naziphi iimeko, kuba le yakho butyebi.
Funda kwakhona: inkqubo yokuqhawula umtshato, ukuba kukho abantwana