Abantu abaninzi bayazibuza umbuzo wendlela yokuphelisa intlungu yengqondo emva komtshato. Ayikho amabhunga ewonke jikelele kwaye ayikwazi ukuba khona, kodwa kukho iipatheni eziqhelekileyo omele wazi.
Kukho into enjengokuguqulwa ebomini emva komtshato. Ukulungelelanisa ngokupheleleyo kuthatha iminyaka emibili ukuya emine. Ngeli thuba akukhuthazwa ukudala kwakhona intsapho, ukwenza izigqibo ezibalulekileyo malunga nobomi bomntu. Ubulumko obuthathakayo "ulungelelaniso lwangaphandle" lusebenza kule ngxaki kakhulu. Emva kwakho konke, ukuba uqale, kufuneka ulahlekise ingcinezelo yengqondo engenakwenzeka emva kwayo nayiphi na umtshato. Ukungabikho kungenziwa kuphela ngemitshato yangaphandle, ekugqibeleni kwiiveki ezimbalwa okanye kwiinyanga emva komtshato. Ukuba uthe wahlala emtshatweni iminyaka emininzi, kunengqiqo ukucinga ukuba awuyi kuphelelwa uxinzelelo kwixesha elide. Eli xesha lingancishiswa ngokusebenza ngokusebenza kunye nengcali yeengqondo kwiingxaki okanye ukwenza imfundo ngokwabo kwintsimi yeengqondo zobomi bentsapho. Nangona kunjalo siya kuba ngabalandeli: abaninzi abantu bavela kwiinkathazo ezinxulumene nomtshato, ngokuzimela.
Iingcali zengqondo ezahlukeneyo kunye neengqondo ze-psychotherapists zihlukanisa izigaba ezahlukahlukeneyo zokulungelelanisa ebomini emva kokuqhawula umtshato, kodwa zonke ziya guquka kwelinye: inqanaba elimnandi kakhulu lexesha lokubanjelwa emva kwexesha lenzeke kwiiveki zokuqala ezi-2-8. Kulo thuba abantu banokuyeka ukutya, ukuthetha nabahlobo, ukuzibukela. Kwiintsuku zokuqala emva kokuqhawula umtshato, abaninzi banomuva wokudakalisa kwezempilo, i-malaise, ngamanye amaxesha abantu baqala ukucinga ngokuzibulala. Kwaye oku akusebenzi kuphela kubafazi, kodwa nakwabantu.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, okukuqala, isigaba esichukumisayo se-post-mortem stress sinika ingqalelo ekhethekileyo. Emva kwakho konke, kuya kuba budangeleko ukuba ungabhekana neengxaki uze udale nawe okanye i-destiny yakho into engenakulinganiswa. Ngeli xesha, abantu banomuvo wokuthi banqume ingalo okanye umlenze. Eli lixesha leentlungu ezibuhlungu kunye neemvakalelo ezinobundlobongela. Umntu othile oneminyaka emininzi isondlo esiseduze, okanye umhlobo, ngokukhawuleza uyanyamalala ebomini bakho. Yaye loo ntsi yesicelo samandla kunye nomsebenzi, okwangaphambili, ayigcwalanga.
Eli nqanaba liqhubeka ngokukhawuleza njengalabo baqhawula ngokwawo, kunye nalabo baphoqeleka ukuba bashiye intsapho yabo.
Kukho imigaqo emininzi ebalulekileyo ukuba bonke abantu abaqhawule umtshato okanye abaya kutshatyalaliswa bafanele bazi. Le migaqo isitshela indlela yokuphelisa intlungu engqondweni emva kokuqhawula umtshato.
Okokuqala, thintana nokuqhagamshelana nomlingane wakho wangaphambili. Abaninzi ngeli xesha kubonakala ngathi benza iphutha elibi, kwaye bazama emva kokuqhawula umtshato kwakhona ukuba bahlangabezane nabangaphambili. Oku kuhamba ngokuphosakeleyo, kuba kukhulisa nje intlungu kwi-gap. Olunye uhlangothi lwengqondo okanye kwimihlaba yendawo emva kokuqhawula umtshato ngumthombo wokuphilisa i-psyche kunye nokuphulukiswa kwimizi yesifo.
Okwesibini, ukunxibelelana nabahlobo kunokunceda uxinzelelo lwengqondo. Ngamanye amaxesha kwiingxaki zobomi bentsapho sizilibala ngathi. Ukwahlukana akuyona nje into ebuhlungu, kuyisihlandlo sokuzinyamekela. Isihlandlo sokukhumbula izinto zokuzonwabisa kunye nezinto zokuzilibazisa, ukubuyisela ubudlelwane nabahlobo bamandulo, ukufumana abahlobo abatsha.
Okwesithathu, zama ukubeka iliso umzimba wakho kunye nesimo somzimba. Musa ukuqhuba ukubonakala kwakho, ungaqambi amanga kwiintsuku kwiqhekeza. Yiya kwimidlalo, uye kwi-salon enobuhle. Ukuxinzezeleka komzimba kuyindlela engcono yokuphelisa intlungu emva komtshato.
Kwaye, ekugqibeleni, okwesine, ungazami ukunqanda ukubandezeleka. Phuma zonke iimvakalelo ezimbi ngokukhala, ukufunga, ukuthetha ngeengxaki kunye nabahlobo nabahlobo. Kwaye ukuba kukho ukungcola okukufutshane nawe, okwenzeka njalo, qalisa idayari okanye khangela abahlobo abatsha kwiiblogi. Imvakalelo echukumisiweyo kungekudala okanye kamva iza kuphuma, kodwa ngelixa liphakathi, liya kuqhubeka nomsebenzi wabo owonakalisayo. Ngoko ke ngokuthe xa uthetha ngokuthe xaxa, ukhawuleza uza kubuya.
Emva kweenyanga zokuqala emva kokuqhawula umtshato, kuya kufuneka uhambe uye kwinqanaba lokubuyisela, xa unokuthetha kakubi ngomfazi ongaphambili. Ngaphezu koko, zonke izigaba zokuphelisa ingqondo yengqondo, eziya kulandelwa kwisithuba esisele kunye nesiqingatha kwiminyaka emibini, zidibene nokuzivala kwakhona. Uza kuqala ukubona ii-horizons ezintsha, uza kuba namathuba amatsha. Kwaye emva kwexesha uya kuqonda ukuba ukuba kwakungekho uqhawulo-mtshato, ubomi bungeke bukhokele kuyo. Emva koko, ukuqhawula umtshato ngokungaqhelekanga kwenzeka kwiibini ezithandekayo. Kwaye kwanamandla kunye nobungane, ekuqalekeni, iintsapho emva kokutshatyalaliswa kubonwa ngabatshatileyo bebakho abonwabileyo. Kwimeko nayiphi na into, kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuba ukwahlukana ngumtshato. Yaye nayiphi na ingxaki yinkqubo yenguqu, xa wenza isinyathelo esingaphambili okanye isinyathelo sokubuya. Ke kuphela kuwe kuxhomekeke kwindlela ovuyayo ngayo ikamva lakho emva kokuqhawula umtshato.