Enye yeengcamango eziphambili zeengqondo zengqondo yomntu ngamnye (ejongene nokufundwa kwempembelelo yokukhulelwa ebomini bokuba ngumntwana) kukuba impilo yokuziphatha engumntwana ingaxhomekeke kwindlela umntwana ekhulelwe ngayo (ngothando nangokuvumelana okanye emva kokuphikisana). "Kucwangcisiwe" kwaye abantwana abanqwenelayo bayagula kakhulu, benza intsebenzo enkulu ebomini kwaye ngokuphindaphindiweyo bayakha iintsapho ezinamandla ... Kuthiwani ukuba umyeni akafuni umntwana kunye nendlela yokuphila ngakumbi?
Ingxenye yesithathu ayiyonto
Amadoda ngokuqhelekileyo kamva ahluthwa ngabazali kubafazi bawo. Umsebenzi wakho kukuqonda oko kudibanisa umyeni. Imihlathi efana ne "Makhe sihlale thina", "Okokuqala kufuneka ubenze imali, uhambo" - ayikho nje izabazo. Ngaba ufuna ukuqonda ukuba yintoni indoda yakho eyoyikisayo? Uxanduva? Okanye mhlawumbi yonke into malunga nesantya kunye nokungafuni ukukhula? Nangona kaninzi i sizathu sinoyiko lokwenza utshintsho, ngoko kufuneka uqinisekise umyeni wakho ukuba yonke into ayesabeki kangako kunokuba ibonakale (ekuzalweni komntwana lwakho ubuhlobo buya kutshintshwa kwisigaba esitsha - uya kuba sisondele, ngaphandle koko, akukho mntu ukhansele ukuzonwabisa kunye nokuhamba , kwaye umntwana akayithintelo kulokhu).
Izizathu zomyeni wakhe
Ukumangalelwa "Wena ungokoqobo," "Awuthandi," "Ngubani na oya kusinika iglasi yamanzi ebudala bakhe?" Akayi kusebenza kwaye uya kuthukuthela loo mntu kuphela. Xa uxoxa ngesihloko senzala kunye nomyeni wakho, zama ukwenza ezibini ezibalulekileyo kakhulu. Okokuqala, qiniseka ukuba ugxininisa ukuba awufuni umntwana ongabonakaliyo, umntwana wakho oqhelekileyo, uthi ngaphambi (ngaphambi kokudibana neqabane lakho) awuzange ube nesifiso esinzima sokuba ngumama. Oku kufanele kumthobe. Kwaye, okwesibini, khumbuza ukuba ixesha lisebenza nxamnye nawe. Ukuba umfazi oneminyaka engaphantsi kweminyaka engama-28 ubudala unemijikelezo emibini okanye emithathu yentsholongwane (ayikwazi ukukhulelwa), ngoko uneminyaka engama-32-33, malunga neminyaka emine okanye emihlanu ubudala. Umgangatho wesilisa kumadoda awuphuculanga ngaphezu kweminyaka. Ezi zibalo kufuneka zenze umyeni wakho acinge. Ngokubhekisele kwimbandela yezemali, ngoko ke, ukuba awukho na imali, ingxaki ingasombululwanga, nonke asebenzi, kwaye aninayo inkxaso yenkxaso (umzekelo, kubazali), mhlawumbi ukuzalwa kwabantwana kuya kufuneka kuhlehliswe kancane. Iimpawu zengcaciso: "Masizame ukuzikhusela: akusiyo into yokuba siya kuyifumana okokuqala ngqa", "Ndifuna umntwana kuwe, kwaye ukunyaniseka kwakho kumcaphukisa", "Ukudala siba nzima, kuya kuba nzima ukuba sikhulelwe umntwana kwaye, ngokubaluleke kakhulu, ndimbeka ezinyaweni! "
Kubiza kangakanani ukuba nomntwana?
Ukuqhuba ukukhulelwa - nokuba uvakatyelela ukubonisana kwamabhinqa, uya kufuneka uchithe ubuncinci iimvavanyo ezihlawulwe (ukusuka kuma-ruble angu-3000). Isivumelwano sokuqhuba ukukhulelwa kwikliniki ehlawulwayo singabiza kwii-ruble ezi-10 000 ukuya kuma-50 000 (kuxhomekeke kummandla waseRussia Federation). Ukubeletha - kungabonakala njengenkululeko (kusele i-ruble engama-1500 kuya kufuneka inikwe abahlengikazi kunye nabongikazi), kwaye ihlawulwe (intengo yesivumelwano-ukusuka kwi-15 000 ukuya kwi-ruble ye-500 000). Ngokuvumelana nesigqirha, unokuzala ii-ruble eziyi-1500-9000 (ixabiso lixhomekeke kwiziqinisekiso zogqirha, ubuhlobo bakho kunye naye nommandla ohlala kuyo). Ngendlela, abanye besetyhini (malunga ne-5%) banqanda ngokuzithandela ukukhulelwa ngenxa yokwesaba ukungabi nambi okanye ukuhluleka ukujamelana nendima yomama. Oku, njengomthetho, kudibene nexinzelelo lomntwana, ukuphazamiseka ngokwalo !! umama kunye nokuchaswa kwakhe. Iimeko ezinjalo sele zifuna iingcebiso zengqondo yengqondo.
Izizathu zomyeni wakhe
Ukuba zonke izinto zikwimeko yakho, kuphela kwiinyaniso zangempela (usemncinci kakhulu, usenokufunda, unenkxalabo enkulu ngemali, kwaye kufuneka ixazululwe ngaphambi kokuzalwa komntwana), kufuneka uxelele umyeni weengqiqo zezenzo zakho. Ingxabano ephambili kufuneka ukuba "kuya kuba bhetele kakhulu kumntwana". Ngokuphathelele izihlobo kunye noxinzelelo lwazo, ngoko ke kufuneka ube kunye kwaye uhlakulele isikhundla sakho: uhlala ubomi bakho, ngoko ke akudingeki ukuba wenze inkqubo yomntu.
Into eyona nto kukubhenela ingqalelo kwimvakalelo ("Ndifuna kanjalo", "nceda, nceda", "cinga ukuba kuya kuba mkhulu kangakanani"), kodwa kwinqweno yangempela yomyeni wakho. Mbuze ngokuthe ngqo: "Awufuni ukuba nabantwana abaninzi? Ngokubanzi? Ngazange? Ngoko, andize ndikwazi ukuzala kwakhona? Ngaba ufuna ukuthatha olu xanduva? Ngaba oonyana bethu (okanye iintombi) abanalo abazalwana okanye odade? "Ukuba umyeni wakho uthi akafuni umntwana wesibini, ngokusemgangathweni, kodwa ngoku okanye kwikamva elikufutshane, umsebenzi wakho kukufumanisa ukuba uyintoni na into ehlazozayo kwaye uxoxe ngezinto ezinokwenzeka ukuxazulula iingxaki (qalisa ukugcina imali okanye ukuqeshisa indlu encinci, nangona kwindawo ekude). Inkcazo yeengcaphuno: "Umncinci omncinane phakathi kwabantwana, kulula kuba bona kunye nathi", "Unayo italente yokuba nguyise, inceba ukuba uyichitha kuphela kwintsana enye." Yintoni ekujonga ngayo kwesi sihloko? "Ngenye imini iminyaka engamashumi amabini emva koko."
Uninzi kakhulu silindele umntwana
Ixesha lokucwangcisa linokubangela uxinzelelo olunzulu kulo mbhangqwana. Ngokwezibalo, ngaphezu kwe-60% yabatshatileyo abaqhekezayo kwenzeka kuphela ekupheleni konyaka wokuqala wobomi bentsapho (ukuba unyaka wonke le mbhangqwana ayisebenzisanga i-contraceptive). Kuthiwani ukuba emva kovavanyo uza kufumana iingxaki? Indlela yokuziphatha ukuba isizathu asikho kuwe, kodwa kwiqabane lakho? Umnqweno wokuba nomntwana unokuba ngumnqweno kumfazi. Nangona kunjalo, le yindlela yokungabikho ndawo. Musa ukulibala ukuba awufuni nje umntwana, kodwa ungumntwana-ntombazana - evela kule ndoda ethile. Intlonipho kunye nothando ziyakwenza imimangaliso. Iimbambano ezininzi, ekugqibeleni ukunyanga kokunyanga, zaza zasondelana. Khumbula oku kwaye ungavumeli ukugxeka iqabane lakho okanye wena. Ukongeza, ukukhulelwa akufanele kube yi-idefix kuwe, ngaphandle koko umphumo ochaseneyo ungasebenza. Okubizwa ngokuba ngumntwana ongenasifo sengqondo kwenzeka xa umfazi ephoswe ngesifiso sakhe sokuba ngumama. Kule meko, kufuneka uziphoqe ukuba uphumule, tshintshe uze uqale ekupheleni ungacwangcanga (ukubala iintsuku ezilungileyo), kwaye wenze uthando.