Xa umntu engathandabuzekiyo kwaye ekhohlakeleyo, ekhwankqisayo, akanakonwabatha, aziva naziphi na iingxaki ekukhulumeni nabantu abakujikelezile, kuthiwa unamahloni. Ukuqonda imvelaphi yeli gama akunakunzima. Ngoko yintoni intloni kunye nendlela yokujongana nayo? Ngokuqinisekileyo, abaninzi abantu babuza lo mbuzo, kodwa ukuhlangabezana nale ngxaki kunokuba nzima.
Ukuziphatha kwabantu abanentloni
Ngokuqhelekileyo, abantu abanamahloni bayesaba kakhulu umbono womnye umntu. Bahlala becinga ukuba le nto yimbi xa ungamthandi umntu, kubangela ukungavumi komntu, ukunganeliseki okanye ukugculelwa. Abantu abanjalo, njengomthetho, abanako ukukwazi ukubeka ingqalelo, bayesaba ukuvakalisa uluvo lwabo okanye ukukhusela amalungelo abo. Bazama ukuphepha naziphi na iimeko apho benze izigqibo, bathethe ngokukhululekile benze izigqibo. Ngenxa yoko, uninzi lwamahloni luloyiko lokusebenza kwaye ngoko aluphumelelanga naluphi uphumelelo ebomini. Abantu abanjalo abanako ukuqhelana nabantu abangabaziyo abatsha, besaba ukunxibelelana, bathathe naliphi na ishishini elitsha ukuze bangaphumeleli.
Ukuthotywa kuyingozi kubantu
Ngokuqhelekileyo umntu unamahloni kwaye akhathazeke ngezinto abacinga ngazo, malunga nokuziphatha kwakhe. Nangona kunjalo, konke oku kusebenza kuphela kuye. Akunakwenzeka ukuba abantu bajikeleze ngokwaneleyo zonke iitalente kunye nekhono lomntu, ngokuqhelekileyo ukuchasene, kwaye ke umntu ulahlekelwa ukucaca kokucinga kwakhe. Ngeemeko ezinjalo, nayiphi na into engathandekiyo kwaye engonwabiyo ibonakala ngokukhawuleza, ukuxhalabisa, ukuzonwabisa, nokuxinezeleka kubonakala. Konke oku kwenzeka kubantu abanentloni.
Ngeentloni, ukulwa kubalulekile. Le ngxaki iqhelekile kubantu ngokuqhelekileyo. Kodwa kulowo wonke umntu ubonakalisa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo, ngamanye amaxesha umntu unokuba ne-pulse, ulahlekelwa ngumsindo, unciphise amehlo akhe, akakwazi ukuthetha nokuthuthumela.
Izizathu Zokunyaniseka
Sonke siyazi ukuba abantwana abancinane banomdla kwaye banolwazi. Bafuna ukuba bebukhoma, bebonisa ngokucacileyo izimvo zabo. Kwaye kuyacaca apho yonke intlalontle kunye nenkwenkwezi iphela kunye neminyaka. Iingcali kule akhawunti zinengqiqo kunye neengcamango ezininzi. Abaninzi bayaqiniseka ukuba untloni luyinto engaqhelekanga, kwaye abanye bakholelwa ukuba iintloni zibonakala kubomi bonke, njengendlela yokusabela ngayo naziphi na iziganeko ezingathandekiyo ezenzeka ngaphambili. Emva koko, umntu ngamnye unamava aphilileyo okuphila, enxulumene neemeko zobomi ezahlukeneyo. Ingaba yintlupheko yengqondo, okanye ukuba umntu uye wahluleka kakhulu ukunxibelelana, konke oko kwanele ukwenza intloni igxilwe engqondweni yomntu. Iyakwazi ukuphakama nangona umntu engenazo nazo zokuthetha nabantu, izakhono zokunxibelelana, kunye nokukhathazeka kakhulu ngendlela izenzo zakhe eziza kuyanconywa ngayo ngabanye abamngqongileyo. Kuloo mizuzu umntu eqala ukuzihlazisa aze azibonele engadingekanga kwaye akakwazi.
Ngokweengqondo ze-psychoanalyst, ukuhlazeka kubonakala ngenxa yongquzulwano lwangaphakathi. Kwenzeka ukuba ukuze umntwana abe namahloni, kwanele ukuba abazali bathethe naye ngaye. Ngokuqhelekileyo abazali bathetha umntwana wabo ukuba unamahloni, oku kusebenza nakwababakhathaleli kwi-kindergarten. Xa umntwana ekhula, uqala ukuziqhathanisa noontanga.
Indlela yokujongana neentloni
Ukujamelana neentloni kunokwenzeka. Kodwa ukuze ulwa nalo, kufuneka ufumene isizathu esona senzeke kuyo. Ngamanye amaxesha umntu akaqondi kakuhle indlela abantu abazungezile abaphathwa ngayo. Uqala ukucinga ukuba ugwetyelwe okanye akayithandi, kodwa akayikumangaliswa gqitha, kuba sele esicinga kakhulu kunabo bonke abantu, ngoko umphumo ongathandekiyo awuyikumangalisi.
Ngokuqhelekileyo, zonke izinto ezilindeleke kakhulu zikulindeleke. Abantu abajikeleze abantu abanjalo baqala ukuwacingela njengabalahlekileyo, banikeze amagama amaninzi kwaye bazame ukuyihlela kwiingxaki zohlobo oluthile. Unokukrazula ukunyaniseka xa ubeka umzamo omkhulu kuyo. Ngeentloni unokulwa ngeendlela ezininzi, kufuneka ufunde indlela yokuthetha nabantu abahluke ngokupheleleyo ukuba bazive bekhululekile kwaye bakhululekile nasiphi na imeko. Zithathele isigqibo sokutshintsha ubomi bakho, unokwazi ukubuyela kwi-psychologist ukuze uncede, kuya kukunceda.
Kufuneka uziqonde wena ukuba uyisidenge kakhulu ukukhathazeka nokukhathazeka ngezinto abanye abantu abazicingayo ngawe. Ngaphandle koko, abantu abanesimo esihle sengqondo ngawe, bahlolisise kuphela ngeempawu zakho, kungekhona ngeempawu zangaphandle.
Zama uhlale ucinga kakuhle, ngakumbi ukuba udla ngokucinga ngabantu abakujikelezile. Nangona abantu bengavumelani nawe, okanye nokuba neyona nto yokujonga ngayo, musa ukuphelelwa lithemba, kwaye oku akuthethi ukuba bazama ukukugweba. Kufuneka ufunde indlela yokunxibelelana ngayo, nokuba ngaba kunzima, xhobisa. Ngokuvama ukumomotheka kubantu, zama ukuba nobungane kwaye uphazamiseke.
Musa ukuzigweba ngokuthe ngqo, zama ukuvusa umva. Ungazithethi, ukuba uthethile into engalunganga, yiba ngowakho kwaye uqhubeke uthetha ngomoya ofanayo.
Ukuze ufezekise ezinye iinjongo, kufuneka zibe nenjongo kuwe, ngaphandle koko umnqweno wokuzifezekisa uya kulahleka.