Abasetyhini bathanda ngeendlebe zabo-kwaye yiyo inyaniso eyaziwayo. Yingakho asifanele sithule nathi. Sisoloko sifuna ukuqhubeka nencoko, phu laphula iingcomo kunye njalo. Akunabo bonke abantu abanokusinika oku. Sinokuthetha njani nomfana osisithulu? Indlela yokufunda indlela yokusabela ngokuthula kwakhe?
Abaninzi abasetyhini benza ezininzi iimpazamo kuphela ngenxa yokuba abaziqondi izizathu zokukhala kancinane. Kubonakala kubo ukuba le ntombazana ayithandi, ifihle into kunye nokunye. Kodwa eqinisweni, yonke into iyahluke ngokupheleleyo. Ngoku siza kuthetha ukuba kutheni abanye abantu bethule.
Zonke iingxaki zixazululwa zodwa
Bonke abantu abathandi ukuthetha ngeengxaki zabo namava. Kodwa ukuba uninzi lwabo luyakwazi ukukrazula into ethile, ngoko abanye abantu bacinga ukuba iingxaki zabo akufanele zithintele nabani na, ngoko bazama ukungabonakali kwingqondo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, kubo kunzima ukunquma ukuba kukho into eyenzekayo. Kodwa ngokuphindaphindiweyo kwiimeko ezincinci abantu abaselula banokuthula kunokuba baqhelekileyo. Ukuba ubona ukuba lo mfana uthe cwaka, akudingeki ukuba umbuze imibuzo, kwaye nangakumbi, faka ingcinezelo kuye. Abasetyhini abaninzi baqala ukuza kunye neenguqu zabo, ukuphuhlisa iziganeko kwaye, ngenxa yoko, bazenzele ukufaka amabango baze baphose izikhalazo kwizinto ezikude. Ngoko ukwenza into ayikho, kuba ulimaza lowo umthandayo. Akathuli ukuba angakucasuli, kodwa uqala ukuhlambalazi ukuba uyamthuka. Amaninzi amaninzi azama ukufumana abafana baxelele yonke into. Ngelishwa, oku akunakwenzeka ngokupheleleyo. Olu hlobo lwabantu aluyi kubeka iingxaki zabo kumahlombe wabanye, ingakumbi ukuba ngaba ngamagxa athathaka entombazana ethandekayo. Yingakho endaweni yoko ukuba umgwebe ngenxa yezono zonke, kungcono ukupheka isitya sakho ozithandayo okanye uhambe naye kwindawo apho ethanda khona. Ngaloo ndlela, uyamxhasa ngokupheleleyo umfana, uya kuzincama aze akhohlwe iingxaki zakhe ngokukhawuleza.
"Ubunxibe"
Enye into ebonakalayo yomntu ongenalucalulo, ophazamisa abafazi ngokukrakra-akayithandani nento ebizwa ngokuba yi-"veal tenderness". Abafana abanjalo abanqweneli ukuxelelwa ukunyamekela, kodwa bathi "Ndiyakuthanda" kuphela kwieholide ezikhethekileyo. Kakade ke, oomama abathandekayo abanakho okwaneleyo, kwaye baphinda baququze iziganeko zokuqala kwaye baqale ukuphosa iindlobongela zobunkohlakalo kunye nenkwenkwezi. Bafazi abathandekayo, awukwazi ukwenza njalo nangaliphi na indlela. Uyakuthanda, kwaye kakhulu. Ukuba wayengathandanga, wayeya kushiya emva kokuqala kohlazo olunjalo. Akakwazi nje ukuba angathini kwaye akafuni ukuthetha ngothando. Kulula kubafana abanjalo ukuba basindise i-princess ukusuka kwintlanzi kunokuba babhale ngokungenakulinganiswa. Nangona kunjalo, abafana abaqondi kakuhle ukuba kutheni bathethe njalo ngothando. Ukuba uthe wathanda ukuba uyamthanda, kuthetha okokade. Xa kunjalo, xa eyeka ukuthanda, uya kukwazisa ngokukhawuleza malunga nalo. Ukuba loo nto ayithethi ukuba iimvakalelo zidlulile, ngoko kuye kuba yimfihlelo enkulu ukuba kutheni abafazi besabela ngokukhawuleza ekuthuleni nokungahambi kwamanconywa. Emva kwakho konke, ngamanye amaxesha abantu abathile bathetha kubo, kodwa kuphela xa ukubonakala kwakho kubonakala kubangele. Kwaye ke, kutheni ukhawuleze amazwi, xa unokujonga nje umfazi, kwaye yonke into iyacaca. Kodwa kuphela abameleli besini esilungileyo abaqapheli ngaso sonke isikhathi iimbono kwaye bavavanye ngokufanelekileyo izinto ezenziwa ngabafana abazithandayo. Ukuba insizwa yahamba yatshintshela le nkqubo ngaphakathi kwendlu, ngenxa yokuba wawungenakhathazeka okanye ufumene into kwaye wanikela into ophupha ngayo njengomntwana, kodwa ayikwazanga ukuyifumana - oku kubonakaliswa uthando olukhulu. Kwaye nangona engazange ayiphendule ngokubulela kwakho, wambamba isipho ezandleni zakhe, ngendlela, khumbula ukuba le mizobo ithetha ngothando lwakhe olukhulu nolunene. Ngoko kunokuba wenze amahlazo kunye nokugxeka le nsizwa kuzo zonke izono eziqikelelwayo, yibongelela kuye kwaye wenze into enhle kuye. Isenzo sakho soloko sibaluleke ngaphezu kwamagama amaninzi.
Indlela yokuthetha nomntu ongathuliyo
Amadoda alumkileyo oku kwaye athule, ukuze zonke iingxoxo zithethe inani elincinane lamagama okanye amagama. Kwabasebhinqileyo, akuvumelekanga. Ngokukhawuleza uqala ukubonakala ngathi umfana akaphulaphuli, ukuba akafuni. Baphinda baqale ukuhlambalaza nokuphonsa iimangalo kuzo zonke izono. Nangona ngokwenene abafana babengazange bacinge ukuba bangabahoyi. Inyaniso kukuba abo bathanda ukuthula, eqinisweni, baphulaphula kakhulu. Ngokungafani nabafana abathetha kakhulu, abavumi ukuphulaphula itekisi ukuze bakwazi ukuthetha ilizwi labo. Ukuba babuza inyanga kamva into endiyithethayo ngayo, loo mntu uya kuba soloko ekwazi ukufumana impendulo efanelekileyo. Yintoni ongenakuyithethayo malunga nabameli abathethayo kwintsimi eqinile. Ngoko ke, ukuba umntu wakho uthe cwaka, akuthethi ukuba "uqhuma emafini." Uphulaphule ngokunyamekela kuwe, akananto ayithethayo okanye akaboni ukuba kuyimfuneko ukufaka iimpendulo zakhe ngeli xesha. Xa ummraki uya kuba neengcamango malunga noko akuvileyo, uya kukuxelela oko acinga, ukucebisa kunye njalo njalo. Kodwa zilungele ukuba iingxelo kunye neengcebiso ziya kuba zifutshane, nangona kunjalo. Abasetyhini abaninzi bathanda ukuba "pobsasyvat" zonke iinkcukacha ngezihlandlo ezilikhulu, eze kunye nokubuyisela iziganeko eziliwaka. Njengoko uyazi, umntu ongenalucalulo akayi kuyenza. Akayiboni nje ingqiqo yeemeko zokubona okanye ukuxoxa nabantu. Aba bantu bathetha okwenene kwaye abazange bathande ukuxoxa ngeentlebo. Nangona ephulaphule amabali akho malunga nobomi bomntu okanye lo mntu, ungalindelanga ukuba lo mfana uza kuqala ukuphawula ngolu hlobo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, abantu abanjalo abanqweneli ukuthetha malunga nomfo okanye ubomi babo.
Ukuthetha ngomntu
Ngendlela, into yokugqibela ukuyikhumbula iintetho malunga nomntu. Kubantu abangenalutho kunzima kakhulu ukukhupha ezinye iinkcukacha zobomi babo. Aba bantu bakholelwa ukuba yonke into eyenzekayo, kufuneka bahlale. Kakade ke, ngamanye amaxesha bavula i-veil eyimfihlakalo kwindawo esondeleyo. Kodwa ukuba abazange bathethe, yiphesenti encinci kuphela. Kwaye, ngale ndlela, abafana abazami ukuzibeka ngasese baze babophe umdla wakho. Ngokuphambene noko, abahlali bathande ukusebenzisa nayiphi na indlela yokubopha umntu. Kuphela kukuba ba kholelwa ngokwenene ukuba yonke into eyenzekayo ebomini iyadlulela. Kwaye oku kungokwabo, kokulungileyo nokubi. Ngoko kutheni utshele umntu malunga noko kwenzeka eminyakeni elishumi edlulileyo. Ngaphezu koko, oku akuchaphazeli imeko ngethuba. Ngoko, ukuba umfana wakho akakutshilo ngako konke ukuthanda kwakhe ukuphumelela kunye nokulahlekelwa, malunga nokuba mangaphi na abafazi kunye ne-kakietragedii kunye naye, akuthethi ukuba uyasithembisa okanye, Mhlawumbi uThixo akayikumthemba. Ngomntu wonk 'ubani unelungelo lokuzikhethela yena, kodwa u-muzhchin ongenamalungelo akakwazi ukutshatyalaliswa. Ngoko ungazami nantoni na kuye kwaye ungazami ukutyhilela iimfihlo wena mhlawumbi yena uya kukuxelela into xa ufumanisa ukuba ufuna ngokwenene ukwazi oku. Kodwa nangona akakuxeleli iimfihlelo zakhe, ungahlali ujabule, kuba ukudlulela kwakhe akukuchaphazeli iimvakalelo zakho kuwe.