Abantu baqikelele oku ngokukhawuleza, kwinqanaba elincinci. Kodwa kubaluleke kangakanani lo vavanyo? Wonke umntu uyazi ukuba umbono wokuqala womntu uphumelela kakhulu ekuphuhliseni ubudlelwane phakathi kwaba bantu kwikamva. Impembelelo yokuqala ingenziwa kuphela kanye, ngoko ke sizama ngamandla ukujonga kakuhle kumacandelo, amaqela amashishini kunye nezinye iindawo apho ungadibana nabo. Kubonakala kukuhle ukuba kubonakale kakhulu kubafazi, nangona oku akuwona umthetho, kodwa kunoko umkhwa. Kuphela nje ukuba abafazi babonisa ezi zinto ezimbalwa. Emva koko, oomama baye bahlala bengama-muses, kwaye amadoda angummbibi kunye nabazingeli. Ngoko kubonakala kukubaluleka kubaluleke kangakanani kwaye kubaluleke kangakanani ukubonakala kwexesha lethu?
Masiqale ngezingane phakathi kweminyaka emithathu nantandathu. Eli lixesha elingenasiphoso kunye nelingenamntu ebomini. Ngeli xesha, akukho, akukho iingxaki kunye neengxaki, ufumana yonke into oyifunayo ebomini. Umntwana akacingi ngombono woluntu ngokumalunga naye. Ukhetha izithixo zakhe ngokungabonakali, kodwa ngokubambisana ngokuthe ngqo komntu omnye okanye omnye umntu. Ukuba siqikelela ukubaluleka kokubonakala komntwana walesi sizukulwana kwinqanaba elingu-10, uya kufumana uqikelelo lwe-1 iphuzu.
Oku kulandelayo kufike ixesha eliyiminyaka elisixhenxe ukuya kwishumi elinesithathu. Ngalesi sikhathi umntwana uhamba okokuqala esikolweni. Ngeli xesha, ukuqala komntu omdala okanye ongaphantsi komntu ozimeleyo. Ngoku unabo bahlobo bakhe bokuqala-abaontanga babesini zesini, intsingiselo yokubonakala ibonakala ingqiqo kuye. Ngethuba lokuqala uqala ukuzicingela njengomntu ozimeleyo. Ubonakala buqala ukumncedisa ngakumbi, kuba uhlala kuluntu kwaye kufuneka abukeke kakuhle. Kodwa ngoku ngoku kubangelwa yimpembelelo yabazali kumntwana. Bazama ukufaka ebantwaneni babo ukuchaneka, ukucoceka, uthando lomyalelo. Amanqaku angama-4.
Emva koko kukho ixesha elide lobomi be-14-25 iminyaka. Ngeli thuba liqala ukuya ebusheni, kunye nolutsha. Oku mhlawumbi kunzima kakhulu kwimeko yobomi bomntu, nangona eqaqambileyo, ekhunjulwa kakhulu, engalindelekanga. Ngeli thuba, umntu uhlakulela uluvo ngaye, uhlalutya abantu abakuzungezile, udala imigaqo yakhe yobomi okanye ayenqabe kuwo onke, kukho ukuhlaziywa kwexabiso, ngokubanzi, kukho utshintsho lwehlabathi kumntu, njengomntu. Ngeli xesha, ukubonakala kubaluleke kakhulu. Intombazana ihlawula ixesha elininzi kunye namandla kumbonakalo wakhe, uzama ukubonakala epheleleyo. Lo mnqweno uyinto engokwemvelo, kuba ngoku uqala ukuba nomdla kwindoda echaseneyo. Ekupheleni kweli xesha, njengomthetho, umntu sele evele esakhiwe kunye nomntu ozimeleyo, kodwa ingqalelo ekubonakalayo ayinciphi. Yaye le ngqalelo iyayiqonda, indoda ibonisa yona, ufuna ukuzibukeka kakuhle. Ngethuba lethu, abantwana abaselula bayabakhohlakele, ngoko ke ingqalelo ekhethekileyo ihlawulwa ukubonakala. Amaphuzu ama-9.
Ixesha elizayo liyiminyaka engama-26-45. Ngeli xesha, umntu uyazimela ngokuzimeleyo kwaye azimeleyo. Njengomthetho, ngeli nqanaba, ukupheliswa kwemitshato kunye nokuzalwa kwabantwana. Bobabini abesilisa nabasetyhini bancipha kakhulu ngokubonakala kwabo kwaye bayayithanda kwihlabathi langaphakathi lomntu. Ngokufanayo, ingqwalasela yokubonakala iyancitshiswa ngenxa yokuba umntu uyaqonda ukuba akufanelekile ukwakha nabani na ukuba aqale ukuzenza ngokwakhe, njengoko umsebenzi kunye neentsapho sele zenziwe. Ekupheleni kweli nqanaba, kwakhona, kukho inkxalabo enokukhatyathwa, ngokukrakra ukubonakala komntu (i-crisis survival), kodwa iphela ngokukhawuleza. Amaphuzu 4-5.
Yaye ixesha lokugqibela livela kwiminyaka engama-45 ukuya ekupheleni kobomi. Ukuqwalasela ingaphandle kuncinci, kuba abaninzi abantu banentsapho enkulu, umsebenzi ophumelelayo, baqala ukuhlala kuphela. Bayeka ukutsala ingqalelo kubo, kuba sele sele bafumana inhlonipho eyaneleyo. Amanqaku angama-2.
Ngaloo ndlela, ukubonakala kubaluleke kakhulu kwixesha lethu kubaselula kunye nabantu abatsha ngenxa yolu ngqalelo kwiinguqulelo ze-hormone kwi-organism, kunye nexesha lokubunjwa kobuntu.
Ubonakala obancinane kunabantwana abancinci, ngenxa yokungabi namava oqhagamshelwano. Kwaye nabantu abadala, musa ukuzilungisa.