Ngaba kulungele ukunceda umntu athethe iingxaki zakhe?

Vala abantu banqwenela ukunceda. Kodwa asikwazi ngaso sonke ixesha ukuba kuyafaneleka ukwenza. Kakade ke, iingxaki ziyinkathazo eyahlukileyo kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo kwenzeka ukuba inkxaso yabathandekayo iyimfuneko nje. Kodwa, ukuba siqala ukuxazulula iingxaki kwabanye, sizithanda nini? Amantombazana amaninzi acinga ukuba angamnceda yini umntu ukuba asombulule iingxaki zakhe, kuba abantu, ngokucacileyo, kufuneka babe namandla kwaye bakwazi ukwenza konke ngokwabo. Kodwa, ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukunceda umfana kuthetha ukuvakalisa iimvakalelo zakhe. Ukongezelela, kunokubakho iimeko zokuphila xa uncedisa ukuzisombulula - kuthetha ukuba ngumntu oqhelekileyo.

Ukuze uqonde ukuba ngaba kukufanelekile ukuncedisa abafana ukuba basombulule iingxaki zabo, kubalulekile ukuba bakwazi ukwahlula inkxalabo ebomini ebomini evela kwizinto eziyingozi, apho umntu oqhelekileyo kufuneka akwazi ukujamelana nayo. Khumbula ukuba loo mfana kufuneka azive enamandla kwaye enoxanduva. Ukuba unquma isigqibo kuye, uya kuyeka ukuxina. Ngoko makhe sibone ukuba zeziphi iingxaki ezinokuqwalaselwa ngokungathí sina, kwaye unelungelo lokuvala amehlo akho.

Ngokuqinisekileyo, into yokuqala esiyikhumbulayo ngento ephazamisayo kwizinto eziphathekayo. Ngokomzekelo, kuyafaneleka ukukunceda umfana ukuba akanalo iindlela zokuhlawula indlu, ukufunda okanye into enjalo. Okokuqala, ziphendule kumbuzo: uncedo olunjani olunokuchaphazela kakubi imeko yakho yempahla. Ukuba uyaqonda ukuba oku kuya kubangela ukuba wena, ngokuthethekileyo uthetha, uza kuhlala kwisonka kunye namanzi iinyanga, elinde xa uya kukhishwa kwihostela ngenxa yokungenayo intlawulo, uze udibanise iimpembelelo zakho ezilungileyo. Ngokwemvelo, uyamthanda kwaye ufuna ukuba kube lula kwaye kulungile, kodwa ke akudingeki ukuba uzibingelele. Ukongeza, kunokwenzeka ukuba intsha iyakwenqaba uncedo, ukwazi ukuba kuya kukulimaza. Ukuba uyavuma, kubalulekile ukucinga malunga nomntu othanda ngayo kwaye yintoni ekuthethwa ngayo kuye. Kwimeko xa uqonda ukuba unokunceda umntu ngaphandle kokuzikhethela, phendula ngokunyanisekileyo: yintoni eyona nto ebangela ukuba imeko yezinto ezibuhlungu zale ndoda? Umzekelo, ukuba ufuna ukuxazulula iingxaki zentsapho yakhe enkulu, akanalo abazali okanye intsapho ayiphumelelanga, ngoko loo mfana usebenza nzima, kodwa uhlobo oluthile lwamandla amakhulu lukhokelela kwiingxaki ezinjalo, ngoko uncedo luya kuba luyimfuneko. Iimeko zihluke ngokupheleleyo xa umfana engacingi ukuba wenza into. Ngoko akayi esikolweni, uchitha yonke imali yakhe kubahlobo kunye nokuzonwabisa, akacingi nantoni na, aze aqale ukukhala ukuba akanakho ukuhlala kulo, "uyaphumelela" kwiseseshoni, ukhutshwe eyunivesithi kunye nendlela ayenze ngayo, akazi . Kule meko, ukuziphatha kwakhe kubonisa ukungaxanduva ngokupheleleyo, ubuvila kunye nokungakwazi ukulungisa iingxaki zakhe. Ukuba unika imali kumfana omncinane, uya kuqonda ukuba akufanele uxakeke ngenxa yokuba ukhona kufuphi-oya kusinceda. Ngexesha elizayo uya kwenza okufanayo, kwaye uya kuphinda uzisole kwakhona uze uhlangulwe. Emva kwexesha, oku kuya kuqalwa ukuthathwa ngokungenanto. Ngale ndlela, uya kufumana i-gigolo yangempela, oya kujongela ngemali ezuzwe ngumsebenzi wakho. Ndicinga ukuba le meko ayifanelekanga kuwe. Ngako oko, kungakhathaliseki ukuba ubuhlungu kangakanani kumntu oselula, akufanele umncede ngemali. Kungcono ukumkhuthaza umntu ukuba afune indlela yokuphuma kwimeko ngokwakho, kuba kukho phantse ukhetho, kufuneka nje ufune uxinzelelo kwaye ucinge.

Kakade ke, iingxaki azizona izinto eziphathekayo kuphela, kodwa nazo ziziphatha. Amadoda nawo alahlekelwa ngumthandayo, akhathazeke ngokungazaliseki, ukuxabana nezihlobo kunye nabahlobo. Kule meko, kuyimfuneko ukuba ukulwe neengxaki ezifana nezimo eziqhelekileyo, kodwa ungazami ukwenza into ngokwakho. Okokuqala, nangona umntu ekuxelele yonke imeko, usayibona loo nto, kungakhathaliseki ukuba sizama kangakanani, kunzima ukuba nenjongo xa kuthethwa ngayo. Ngoko ke, ukuba uzama, umzekelo, ukuthetha nomhlobo wakhe emva kwakhe, unokuva inguqu ehluke ngokupheleleyo yebali. Ukongezelela, amadoda ayithandi xa umntu ezama ukudibanisa aze asombulule into ethile.

Ngoko ke, kufuneka uxoxe nomfana, mxhase, mhlawumbi uzama ukunika iingcebiso, kodwa ungabi nantoni na. Ungumntu omdala kunye nomntu onobuqili owaziyo ukwenza. Kodwa, ukuba uya kugcinwa kwaye unikeze izisombululo ezithile, mhlawumbi, umfana uya kukuphulaphula, nokuba akayi kuvuma. Ukuba uqala ukuziphatha ngokungathi uyamazi ngakumbi kunabo, mhlawumbi mhlawumbi kuya kubakho enye inkinga - isityholo phakathi kwakho.

Kwaye ekugqibeleni, malunga neengxaki ezilukhuni kunzima-ukulahlekelwa ngabantu abathandekayo. Kubalulekile ukuba uzive umntu ongokoqobo kwaye uziphatha ngendlela afuna ngayo. Ukongeza, awunakuze ufanise imeko "yakho." Abasetyhini, ukuze bahlale beswele, badla ngokufuneka baxolelwe. Siyalila kumntu emagxeni, nge-nostalgic, kwaye ngezinyembezi iintlungu zethu ziphela ngokukhawuleza. Amadoda ayithandi ukuba novelwano. Bakufuna wena, ngokuchaseneyo, ukubanceda babe namandla. Ngoko ke, kufuneka uqaphelisise impendulo yomntu ekusebenzeni kwakho.

Ukuba ubona ukuba akayivuyo nemibutho yakho kunye namazwi enkxaso - bhetele uphume. Ukuba uyakhala, musa ukumkhathalela uze uyile, kodwa hlala usondele. Xa ekucela ukuba umshiye wedwa, akufuneki uqinisekise ukuba uya kuba ngcono kuwe. Kule meko, uyazi indlela engcono ngayo. Iingxaki zokuziphatha ziyinkimbinkimbi. Azinako ukusombululwa kwabanye, nangona sithande kangakanani. Ngoko ke, kufuneka ubonise umlomo kwaye uzive umntu. Yaye ukuba ubona ukuba uyagxininiseka, ungazami ukumbuyisela ebomini obuqhelekileyo, ukhumbuze indlela yakhe yokuziphatha, nokuba kungakhathaliseki ukuba libi kangakanani, ihlabathi linamathuba amaninzi okufuneka abe namava kwaye azame.