Sivame ukucinga njani ubuhlobo obuhle? Umyeni nomfazi bayazi zonke iinkcukacha zobomi bomnye nomnye, intsapho igcwele ukukhanya kunye nokuvuleka. Ekuqaleni, abathandi banamhlanje bayabingelela yonke into yovuyo kunye nosizi, behlala ngokucacileyo ebuntwaneni obonwabileyo (okanye obonwabileyo) kunye nolutsha oluqhwithiyo (oluthambileyo). Uphulaphule indlela intombazana eyayinqabela ngayo kwi-kindergarten - kwaye uyazibuza ukuba zivelaphi izihlunu? Uphulaphule indlela abafana abaye bakucaphukisa ngayo kwibakala lesithathu, kwaye iphupha lokuba khona: wayeya kubakhombisa loo mijelo! Abalingani bafuna ukwabelana ngomnye nomnye into: ubomi, ikhaya, umbhede - kunye neenkumbulo. Kodwa nangona ngethuba lokuthanda uthando lokuqala, ukulumkisa akukhathazi-kuba iingxaki ezininzi ezalandelayo zingabalwa ngoko ngenxa yokuphazamiseka okungenakuzenzela ukusuka kulwimi lokuvuma. U-Anna oneminyaka engama-24 uthi: "Xa ndidibana no-Anton, ndade ndiphelelwe ngubudlelwane obudlulileyo: unomdla onamandla kunye nekhefu elingapheliyo. Njalo xa mna noDenis sasidibana kwakhona, ukukhwabanisa kwavutha ngaphezu koko, kodwa ke sagula phantsi kwiingxaki ezifanayo kunye nokuxabana kwangaphambili. Sasilawulwa yizo zesini - kwaye kwandithatha ixesha elithile ukuqonda oku. UAnton yonke into iyancipha: andinayo imvakalelo edibeneyo ebhedeni-noko ke ndiziva ndithembeke. Ngelishwa, ngandlela-thile uAnton kunye nathi saqalisa ukuthetha ngabantu bethu bokuqala, kwaye andisayi kuxolela lo bu budenge! - xelelwe ngomnqweno owawukhanyayo, ngokukhawuleza ukuba mna noDenis sodwa. U-Anton wayexinezelekile kwaye akakwazi ukufika engqondweni yakhe: asizange senze uthando ngeenyanga ezintathu, kwaye, makhe sijamelane nayo, ekugqibeleni siza kubelana. Xa sitshata, sifunga: kuphela kunye, hlalani ndawonye, nithetha ngezinto zonke kumntu wonke. Kwaye xa umntwana ezalwa, kunesizathu esingakumbi sokuxelela iingcamango zethu, ukulindela, ithemba. Oku kulungile. Kwiimpawu ezifanayo kunye namagama, athetha ngokuzwakalayo. Kancinci, ubomi buya kwindlela yabo, kwaye abafazi baqala ukuhamba kancane. Le yinkambo yangokwemvelo yeemeko, kwaye ungesabi ukuba awunasoloko ufuna ukwabelana ngeendaba okanye iimpawu kunye nomyeni wakho. Umtshato awuyi-fusion epheleleyo yabantu ababini, kodwa ubukho obuhambelana nobuntu, obunomdla ngokulinganayo kwabo kunye nehlabathi. Ukuze uhlale njengomntu onjalo, umntu kufuneka akwazi ngezinye amaxesha ... thula.
Khetha umdibaniselwano
Ngokuqhelekileyo sifihla iingcamango nezenzo ezinxulumene nesondo. Kwaye kunjalo ngokufanelekileyo: yizo ezifihliweyo ezingachazwanga ngokungazifumaniyo ezibuhlungu kumlingane. Ingaba okanye awuyi kunika ingqungquthela, okanye iyatshitshisa, inkolelo yesondo, ukukhumbula ukusetyenziswa kwexesha lokulala kwasekuqaleni? "Simele siqonde ukuba izityhilelo ze-verbose malunga nokuxhamla kwangaphambili zibonakaliswa ngakumbi nge-voyeurism kunye nemiboniso. Oku akukho nto inokuyenza ngokunyaniseka nokunyaniseka kwintsebenziswano. Ngoko, ngamanye amaxesha kungcono ukuthula kunokuthetha. Uze ungafuni ukuphendula imibuzo ephikisanayo, ukuba iqabane libacela. Kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo asingaze uqale iingxoxo ezinjalo. Ukuba kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba ukhulume ngawo, kungcono ukunxibelelana nengcali yeengqondo okanye umhlobo othembekileyo. Kuyafana okufanayo malunga neengcamango zesini: ezinye zazo (zithi, yenza uthando kwi-elevator) unokwabelwana kunye nomlingane, abanye (umzekelo, ukwenza uthando nomhlobo osenyongweni lomyeni) kufuneka kufihlwe ngokujulile. Ndiyayiqonda into yokuba akuyiyo yonke into ekufuneka ixelelwe kumyeni wam, kubiza. Ndaya eYiputa kunye nomhlobo-ngowokuqala kwiminyaka emine ukusuka ekuzalweni komntwana! Kwakukho isikhokelo esihle, kwaye ke, ndandithandwa kukuba ndandipha ingqalelo. Ewe, kwakubonwa ngothando, ndandithanda - kodwa andizange ndivumele nantoni na into engabonakaliyo. Umtsalane wam unomdla kwaye unzulu, kwaye ndihleka, ndazi kakuhle ukuba unothando olutsha ngeveki. Xa ndibuyela ekhaya, ndatsho umyeni wam malunga neenkundla, kwaye phakathi kweefoto kwakukho neefoto ezinekhokelo. Ndifuna ukwandisa ukuzithemba kwabasetyhini. Umyeni akabi nomona kakhulu, kwaye sasisoloko sihlekisa ngelihloko. Kwaye watshintshwa: waba ngumsindo omkhulu, waqala ukungamangalela ngento yokunyelisa! Emva koko ndacaphuka. Okwethutyana ubuhlobo bethu bube bunzima kakhulu. " Ukugcina imfihlo i-adventure eyadlulayo ngaphandle kwemiphumo yomsindo kuwe, kubulumko ngaphezu kokulimaza ibali leqabane. Ukongeza, le mfihlelo emfutshane iya kuninika ithoni kwaye yandisa i-libido.
Ukulinganisa onke amagama
Kodwa kungekhona nje iimfihlelo ezihlazo kunye neengcamango ezingaqhelekanga kufuneka zifihliwe kumlingane. Kwakhona kufuneka usebenze ngokudumala ngobomi bakho bobulili. Hayi, yenza sengathi uhlala ulungile, ungabi, kodwa uphinde ulungiselele "ukuxubusha" kwaye uthethe ebunzini malunga nomcimbi ongeyinto engafanelekanga. Ukunyaniseka kukunyaniseka, kwaye ukucoceka nokucoca akukhenxwanga. Zama ukuthintela amagama anokhathaza kakhulu kwaye uhlale ememori yakho ixesha elide. Amagama athi "awukwazi nto nantoni na," awuzange unyanelise! "- iphutha elibulalayo. Zama ukwakha ingxoxo nje ... kunye nosana lwakho. Ngaphandle kokuhlambalaza umyeni wakhe wokungakwazi okanye ukuhlazeka, mkhuthaze, umcebise ngokukhawuleza nangokuthethileyo: "Uyazi, kufuneka ndivume, ndiyamnceda xa undikhathaza ngale ndlela ...", "Ndiyazama ukuza-ke?" Uya kwenza okulungileyo kunokuba uxinzelelo okanye umsindo. Ngendlela, umgaqo ofanayo uncedo kwimpilo yemihla ngemihla, kunokumemeza kumyeni ukuba "akayi kuphakamisa umunwe ukukunceda ngemisebenzi yasendlini, uthembisa into enomtsalane emva kokucoca indlu, umzekelo, ukupheka ukutya okuthandayo. Isibalulekileyo ekunxibelelaneni ngempumelelo kubaluleke kakhulu kwincokozo, kodwa kwincoko malunga nento edibanisa ngayo, kungekhona malunga neyohlula.
Yiza kunye
Kakade, musa ukufihla kwiqabane lakho into entshintsha kakhulu ubomi bentsapho yakho: umzekelo, ukuba wanikwa umsebenzi kwenye idolophu kwaye ngomso uya khona. Kodwa unokukwazi ukufumana iimfihlelo ezincinci. ULarissa oneminyaka engama-27 ubudala uthengisa. ULarissa usebenza ebhankini, kwisebe labaxhasi, apho kukho ikhowudi yokugqoka eqinileyo kwaye kunesidingo ukujonga "iipesenti ezilikhulu". Ngamanye amaxesha uthanda ukucinga kwakhona nge-wardrobe yakhe: "Inika ithemba. Izitsha ezintsha ziqala ukuqala, isigaba esitsha. Kodwa ukuba ndithi kumyeni wam ukuba ndichithe imali eninzi kwesinye isitifiketi, akayi kuqonda. Kwaye ndihlala ndihlula ixabiso ngamathathu ngaphambi kokuba ndixelele. Yonke into endithenga ngayo "ukutshatyalaliswa kwevenkile, yonke into yenzelwe ize." Ewe, ndinokuzigcina ndiyimfihlo ngenxa yokuba ndinayo iakhawunti kunye nomyeni wam kwaye asixeli omnye komnye. Ukuba andinakukwazi ukuchitha ixesha elininzi kum, kuya kufuneka ndize ndize "ndivuselele". NjengoSvetlana oneminyaka engama-30 ubudala. Ungumyili wezinto ezizimeleyo, unina wabantwana ababini, kwaye akanakho imali eninzi "yeemfihlelo ezincinci". Kodwa oku akuthethi ukuba akukho zifihli! Indlela yakhe yokubalekela kwi nyaniso kukuba ukuya kumafilimu kunye nabahlobo bakhe phakathi emini. Umyeni wakhe uSvetlana akasathethi nto - ngokusemthethweni ngeli xesha usebenza. "Kuzwakala ngathi yinto engumntu oyisiphukuphuku, kodwa ndifumana uvuyo olungakumbi kwimfihlelo enje-njengokuba mna namantombazana sibalekele esikolweni. Yenza ukuba ndive ngcono ukuba kukho into encinci, kodwa kuphela ubomi bam, kungekhona ubomi bentsapho yam. " Uchaza nje indlela aziphatha ngayo kunye no-Irina oneminyaka engama-32 ubudala, ohlala edibana nabahlobo bakhe, abangabonanga nomyeni wakhe. Ndikhetha ukuba indoda yam ingabazi abahlobo bam. Akunjalo kuba banikwe izipho ezifihlakeleyo okanye iimpazamo. Kungokuthi iintlanganiso zethu ndibuyisa ixesha ngaphambi komtshato wam: Ndiyakhumbula oko kufana nokuba ndedwa ndedwa.
Ukungena ngaphakathi
Ngokuzivumela ezifihlakeleyo, ngokwenene, kufuneka uzivumele kunye nomyeni wakho. Akusiyo yonke imfihlelo yindoda engummi wokuhlala kwintsapho. USergei oneminyaka engama-40 ufihla imifanekiso yokuqala yomtshato - ngoku utshatile okwesibini. "Andiziboni imihla ngemihla, ndikusula iinyembezi, kodwa ndiyazigcina kwaye ndiya kuzigcina-le nxalenye ebomini bam nobutsha. Nangona kunjalo, andixeleli wam umfazi ukuba ndibenabo. " Ngokuqhelekileyo kubhinqa abancinci - ngokwemvelo engakumbi imvakalelo kunye nentlalontle, ngaphandle koko, ufuna ukufuphi ngokusondeleyo kwintanda yakhe. Le ndoda ayisetyenziselwa ukuvumela umntu ukuba asondele. Sikuxelela indlela okhethwe ngayo inwele, kwaye umyeni usitshela ukuba udade wakhe uyatshata, kuphela ngexesha lokumema. Kodwa-qaphela: ukunyundela kweentombi kungasithinteli kwi-aura ethile yemfihlelo, ukungazi, kwaye oku kuyimvelaphi yesifiso sesini kubantu. "Ndivulekile kakhulu, ndifuna ukunitshela ngokucacileyo: bekuphi na, obonayo," kuchaza uOksana, 28. - andiyiqondi ukuba indoda iya kuhamba yam yeselula okanye ifunde i-SMS eyafika. Kodwa andiyi kuthatha ifowuni yakhe, ukuba akayikuyibuza: indoda ayiyithandi. Xa ndibuza ukuba kutheni-ngenxa yokuba le fowuni ayinayo iimfihlelo ezimbi, - wathi ulutsha lwakhe lonke lugqithwa phantsi kolawulo oluqinileyo lwabazali, kwafuneka anike ingxelo kuyo yonke ingxoxo kunye nezenzo. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha, xa efuna iingcebiso okanye uvelwano, uvula umnyango "kwintsimi eyimfihlo." Kwaye ndivuyiswa kukuba ndiyedwa kuphela ofika khona ngezinye izikhathi. "