Ngoko, yintoni omele uyenze xa uzibuza lo mbuzo: njani ukwenza umntu athi uyakuthanda? Okokuqala, kufuneka ucinge ukuba kutheni ufanele ukwenze. Emva koko, sonke siyazi ukuba unokuthi "uthando" kuphela ngentando yakho. Ewe, ukuba lo "thando" luyinyani. Kodwa olunye ulwalamano oluvela kumfana, mhlawumbi akudingeki. Ewe, ukunyanzelisa ukuba uthethe oko ufuna, unakho na umntu, kufuneka usebenzise umgangatho othile. Ukuba kubalulekile ukuba uva nje la mazwi, ngoko unokusongela, faka uxinzelelo kwimfesane kwaye uqhube umxhasi.
Kodwa ukuba awudingi ukuphoqa umntu ukuba athi nje igama, kodwa ukuva ukuvuma kwangempela kuye, ngokokuqala, qaphela isizathu sokuba engakuxeleli amagama afanelekileyo.
Mhlawumbi inyaniso kukuba umfana ongeyena othandekayo. Ngoko ke, nangona usondelene naye, uyesaba ukuthetha "Ndiyayithanda", ukuze kungabi nako ukuzithemba. Kule meko, akudingeki uyenze akhulume, kodwa akwenze uzive. Vumelana, nangona ukuba unokuthetha amazwi afanelekileyo ngenxa yenceba, awuyi kuvuya ngayo. Ngoko ke, kwimeko enjalo kubalulekile ukugqiba isigqibo sokuba ungatshintsha njani imeko ukuze igama "uthe" lilingana nelithi "yenza".
Umntu ngamnye unokuthandana naye. Kufuneka nje ukuza necebo elifanelekileyo kwaye ufumane indlela. Ngenxa yoko, kwindawo yokuqala, kufuneka ukwazi malunga nokuthandwa kunye nokukhethwa komntu othandekayo, umlingiswa wakhe kunye nokuphendulela okunokwenzeka kwiziganeko ezithile.
Kungenzeka ukuba uyazi umntu osemncinane ixesha elide, kwaye ngaba ngabahlobo, kwaye mhlawumbi baninzi ngaphezu kwabahlobo, kodwa kunjalo. Akakakulungeli ubuhlobo obunzulu nawe. Ngako oko, kufuneka ufune ukuphosa kwisigqibo esifanelekileyo.
Ukuqala, khumbula ukuba ungumhlobo wakhe. Kufuneka kuqatshelwe ngokukhawuleza ukuba oku akuthethi ukuyeka ukunakekela umfana, ungamthobeli, kwaye uqale ukumphatha njengendawo engenanto. Okokuqala, kuya kuba yinto engathandekiyo kwaye ingenakuqondakala kuye, kwaye okwesibini, ibonakala ilungele. Kule meko, sithetha ngento yokuba kufuneka uyeke ukwenza njengowomntu, kwaye, ngokuphindaphindiweyo kunokwenzeka, kwenzeka xa abantu abathandana nabo bezahlukileyo behlobo. Ngoko ke, kuyimfuneko ukuyeka ubisi bokusela ukuphikisana, ukuxubusha amantombazana ndawonye, ukutshaya ugwayi obunamandla nokwenza ezinye izinto abafana abahlala kuyo kwinkampani yamadoda. Kumele akhumbule ukuba, okokuqala, uyintombazana, inqabile kwaye ithenda. Ngoko ke, jonga indlela oziphatha ngayo, ngokuthinta, kunye nemigca. Zama ukulawula iimvakalelo zakho kwaye ungazivumeli ukuba uziphathe njengomzalwana. Wena ungumfazi omele amthande aze akhuselwe. Ukongezelela, yeka ukunyamekela umfana kwaye uzame ukwenza konke ukuyenza ikhululeke kwaye ikhululekile. Ukuba umfazi uhlala esenza aze azikhethele yena, indoda iyayeka ukuziva umkhuseli kwaye ivele ibuye ibuyele. Akufanele uvumele ukuba oku kwenzeke. Ngobudlelwane bakho, kufuneka abe ngumntu owenza izigqibo aze aphumelele iingxaki. Kakade, unokuhlala unomnceda, uphakamise into ethile, kodwa kuphela kwimida efanelekileyo. Akukaze kulungele ukuthatha umthwalo wonke ukukwenza kube lula kuye. Khumbula ukuba ukuba umntu unzima ngokwenene, awunalo ilungelo lokumnceda kuyo yonke into kwaye usombulule zonke iingxaki, ngaphandle koko uya kuwusebenzisa, okanye uphumule uze ube ngu-rag. Ngoko uzama ukuzigcina unomoya ocolileyo, kungakhathaliseki ukuba ungafuni kangakanani. Kodwa ngexesha elifanayo, zama ukuhlala uxhasa kwaye uncede, unike iingcebiso. Makhe abone ukuba akayithandanga, kodwa uyaqonda ukuba akayiyo indawo ephela kuyo yonke indawo. Ngokukodwa xa kunjalo.
Kwakhona, musa ukumkhumbuza rhoqo, fowunela amaxesha amaninzi ngemini, ubhale imiyalezo. Sidinga ukuba abhale kuwe aze abize. Ngoko ke, kuyafaneleka "ukusalala" ngezikhathi ezithile, ngamanye amaxesha ungayifaki ifowuni, ungaphenduli kwimilayezo. Ngokuqinisekileyo, kuyo yonke into kufuneka ukwazi umlinganiselo kwaye ungayihoyi nje. Umele ube nomdla kumntu kwaye umenze aqonde: le ntombazana ayilula njengoko ndacinga; akayi kuza ku-call yokuqala kwaye akayi kuyenza yonke into endiyifunayo; ungumfazi omhle kwaye unesiphelo; akayena nje umhlobo, nguye into endiyidingayo. Ukuba unako ukuphumeza ukuziphatha okunjalo kuye, qiniseka ukuba ngokukhawuleza uza kukubonisa iimvakalelo oziphuphayo malunga nosuku. Kwaye xa oko kwenzeka, into ephambili ayiyikulahlekelwa yoshishino kwakhona kwaye ayiyi kuba ngumntu olungele konke. Khumbula ukuba akulukhuni kakhulu ukuwa ngaphandle kothando kwaye uhlale uzilawula ngokuncinci.
Ukuba ungathethi ngothando kumntu onomdla kunene, ngubani na umfana wakho kwaye ongenayo imvakalelo enobungakanani kuwe, kufuneka uxoxe kwaye uxoxe ngale ngxaki. Inyani kukuba akubona bonke abantu baqonda imfuno ephezulu yabasetyhini ngokuthandana kunye nemiqondiso emincinci yokuqwalasela. Amadoda acinga ukuba abonisa ukunakekelwa kwabo kwintando kwaye akaqondi ukuba kungani abafazi bephukile. Ngoko ke ungathuli okanye uqalise i-scandals ngaphandle kokuchaza nantoni na. Ngomthandi wakho, kufuneka nje uthethe kwaye uchaze ukuba kufuneka uvale igama elithi "uthando" emlonyeni wakhe, njengoko enika amandla nokuqonda intsingiselo yobomi kweli hlabathi. Khumbula ukuba uthando aluveli kubo bonke abantu, kodwa bonke abantu abanothando bazama ukwenza iinqununu zabo, kodwa abahlali bazi ukuba njani. Ngoko ke, ukuba uyichaza yonke into ngokuchanekileyo nangengqiqo, lo mntu osemtsha uya kuthatha ingqalelo kwaye uya kuzama ukuzisa ubomi bakho obumnandi ngokuncediswa ngamazwi kunye neengqalelo omele uzive unonwabo.