Ngokuqinisekileyo, ukuzalwa komntwana kukuvuyisa kuwo wonke umntu, kungakhathaliseki ukuba isini kunye nesimo. Kodwa kwenzeka nokuba kubantu abathile esi siganeko sinokuba yinto engqiqweni ehambelana nobudlelwane bosapho. Kukho uluvo lokuba ukubonakala komntwana kuqinisa umtshato, kwaye kwenza ukuba isibini sitshatile. Kodwa ngokwenene, kwenzeka ukuba ixesha elide kufuneka lidlule phambi kokuxhamla okukhulu kunye nokuqonda phakathi kwabadala ababini. Kwezinye iindwendwe, ukubonakala komntwana kungabangela isizathu sokutshintsha ubudlelwane, kungeyona nto ibhetele. Oomama abancinci, banomntwana, kakhulu kangangokuthi yonke into, kuquka umyeni, ngokukhawuleza iphela ukuba ikhona kuzo.
Ngokufika komntwana, lo mfazi unenkcitho encinci, akaphumeli ukwenza nantoni na, akanalo ixesha lokulala, uhlambulule indlu, upheke ukudla, uhlambulule, uzigcinele kwaye ucinge ngomyeni odeleyo obuyele emsebenzini emini yonke imini Ubomi obonwabileyo kwintsapho yakhe, kwaye kufanelekile. Ngokuqhelekileyo kubakho ukuba abazali abaselula bahambe kunye nomnye, kwaye akukho nto engacatshukiswayo ngaphezu kwendoda, ezama ukuhlala kude nomfazi onomsindo, bonke emva koko baya ekhaya. Ngokuzalwa komntwana, isisu somama wesifazane asibonakalwanga ngaphezu kwezinto ezibonakalayo, apho kwezinye iimeko zikhokelela ekubeni i-mamanachinaet encinane ihlala yedwa kunye nentsana yayo, ngelixa libala ngokuzimela kwayo. Konke oku, ngenxa yoko, kunokukhokelela ekubeni ubuhlobo phakathi koomama nomntwana alushiyi indawo yobudlelwane phakathi kwendoda nomfazi.
Oku akuthethi ukuba abo babini bayeke ukuthandana, nje ukuba wonke umntu ulungele ukutshintsha isimo sakhe kwaye ayeke ukuba yindoda okanye nje umntu, kwaye baba ngabazali, baqonde ukuba ebomini babantu ababini kukho inxalenye yesithathu, bebanxulumana ngaphezu kweemvakalelo ezifanayo. Enyanisweni, kuyafaneleka ukuba sicinge ukuba ukubonakala kweyesithathu, ukuphoqelelana ukuba batshintshe into ebudlelwane babo. Ngoko ke, utshintsho aluphepheki kwaye awonakalise intsapho, kodwa ngokuchaseneyo, bayomeleza imanyano, kufuneka sikulungele nje. Sinika iingcebiso ezininzi ezinokukunceda ukuqinisa umtshato emva kokuzalwa komntwana.
- Lungisa ngcono kunye, kuba ngale ndlela awuyikulwa kuphela nokoyika, kodwa unceda ukuhlangabezana nesiqingatha esifanayo. Musa ukuthula. Xoxa omnye nomnye malunga nokuba yintoni kwaye kuya kwenzeka njani, xa umntwana ebonakalayo, oyikisayo, kunye nendlela oya kuhlangabezana ngayo neemeko ezithile.
- Qalisa kusengaphambili ukuxoxa nokuvuma ngokusasazwa kweembopheleleko zokunyamekela nokukhuliswa komntwana. Awudingi ukubeka yonke into emahlombe akho, kucacile ukuba oomama abancinci banenkxalabo, kodwa, ukukhulisa umntwana, ukhupha ngexesha elifanayo kunye nawe. Ukuba awuxoxanga yonke into ngaphambili kwaye ulindele ukuba iqabane liza kubonisa inxaxheba efanayo ukuba unako ukuphuma ukuze ulindelo lube lude kwaye mhlawumbi alufanelekanga. Xoxa ngezinto zonke, ngokuqinisekileyo konke, akudingeki ucinge ukuba umbuzo onomdla ngoku, xa umntwana engazange azalwe, yinto engafanelekanga ukuyikhankanya. Kwixesha elizayo, le nto encinci ingaba yeso sizathu esona sikhulu, kodwa singabalulekanga.
- Qinisekisa kwangaphambili indlela oza kuba ngabazali ngayo umntwana wakho, eyamkelekileyo kubo bobabini, kwaye akunjalo. Iyiphi indima ekukhulisweni kwengane yakho iya kudlala ubaba, kwaye unjani umama.
- Musa ukulibala malunga nabanye. Xa umntwana ebonakalayo, kubazali, ngokuyinhloko kubamama, umsebenzi ngezinye iinkqubo uqala malunga newashi. Ngokuqhelekileyo kwenzeka ukuba umama omncinci akanalo ixesha lokutya okanye nokuba alele. Oku akunjalo, impilo yakho iya kukhuselwa, ukuba uya kuphuma ekudambiseni amanzi, ayiyi kuba lula kumntwana wakho okanye kumyeni wakho. Ngoko ke, xubusha ngexeshana ixesha luni le ntsuku okanye iveki ukunakekelwa kwengane kuya kulala emagxeni omthandayo, ukuze ukwazi ukuphumla. Ngokuzaliswa kwentsapho ngaphandle kokuncediswa, kufuneka njani ukulawula.
- Awudingi ukuchitha lonke ixesha lakho nomntwana. Musa ukulibala malunga nomntu wakho, ukubonakala komntwana akusiyo isizathu sokulibala ngokumalunga nomnye. Zama ukufumana ixesha lokukhulula, ukuze ube yedwa, zama ubuncinane ngezinye izihlandlo, phuma endlwini ukuze uhambe okanye uhlale e-cafe, ushiye umntwana ekunyamekelweni kukagogo okanye umongikazi.
- Imvakalelo yakho nesimo sengqondo akufanele sihluphe ngenxa yokuba "umncinci uyayidinga", "umncinci uyayidinga". Omncinci akenzi buhlungu, ukuba unxibe okanye umanga umyeni wakho, umxelele indlela umthandayo ngayo kwaye uyonwabile xa ejikeleze.
Khumbula, ukugwinwa kwindlela eqhelekileyo, kodwa ukuphuma kuyo kunzima kakhulu. Musa ukuvumela ukuba iimeko zichaze ukuba ungaphila kwaye uphathane njani, kungekhona ufanele uzivumelanise nazo. Yaye ungabi nenyameko yokuphatha umntwana wakho, khumbula ukuba nguye owenza yonke ihafu yesibini, nguye owenza ulusondele, kwaye akunjalo.