"Unyana wam unyaka ongu-1 kunye neenyanga ezi-8 ubudala." Ukususela esemncinci yena akayikunika kuphela amathoyizi akhe kumntu, kodwa naye uthatha amathoyizi ebantwaneni. "Into endingazange ndizame yayikukholisa, ithatha, kodwa iphakamisa ukukhala ... Uyazi, ekudleni Uthabathe kum isitya sokutya, nangona kukho ipuleti ephambi kwakhe. Ndixelele ukuba ndiba nomdla njani. "
Umama omncinci, ngokucacileyo, uthatha ngokungqongqo imfundo yonyana wakhe. Kodwa kwileta - phantse zonke iimpazamo zokufundisa, ezenzeke kuphela ... Masithethe ngazo.
... Kubonakala, kwaye akukho mbuzo: ubukrakra luphawu lomtyholi. Akunjalo ngethuba lokuba umntwana oqalayo kwi-yard: "Inyosi ye-Jade!". Mhlawumbi, kulo mgaqo wokuqala wokuziphatha komntu uqala: ukwabelana, ungabamba, ushiye kwenye - cinga ngenye into. Kwaye into yokuqala umntwana afunde ngayo kukuba: unike unina ... Nika uyise ... Nika umzalwana ... Nika inkwenkwana ...
Kwaye yokuqala intloni: ayiniki! Kwaye uvavanyo lokuqala lwesifiso sabazali: xa umama ephuma nenkwenkwe ukuba ahambe, kwaye wayithatha into yokudlala phambi komntu wonke-o, yehla inene! Ngokuqhelekileyo, kwimbono yam, siqala ukulwa neentsilelo ezininzi zabantwana kungekhona ngenxa yokuba zisicasula, kodwa kuba ziintloni ngabantu. Kwaye kulungile. Ngamanye amaxesha uqala iindawo apho kungekho ntloni phambi kwabantu.
Kubonakala ngathi akukho nto iphosakeleyo: umntwana uya kuba ngumdala kwaye uya kunqunyulwa ukuhaha. Kodwa ngubani ongayaziyo - abanye, xa bekhulile, okokugqibela kuya kunikwa, kodwa kwabanye kubusika, ikhephu ngeke ihlaziywe. Abanye abantu bonke ubomi babo bade babandezeleka ngenxa yokuhaha, nangona bakhawuleza ukunika oko baceliwe, kodwa ukuhlushwa akuvumeli ukuhamba, ukunyanzela umphefumlo emphefumlweni.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, sinokuyondla umntwana ukuba athathe amanye amathoyizi abantu, kodwa ngaba siya kuqhuba i-vice ngaphakathi? Ngaba asiyi kuba ngumntu onobukratshi owaziyo ukufihla ukuhaha kwakhe? Okanye mhlawumbi le mpazamo ifihliwe okwesikhashana, kwaye ke, kwiminyaka engamashumi amabini ubudala, emashumi amathathu, xa umntu engaxhomekeke kwabanye, uya kuzibonakalisa! Kwaye siya kumangaliswa: kusuka kuphi?
Sonke sifuna ukuba bethu abantwana babe nemvakalelo emihle, kungekhona nje ukukwazi ukufihla okanye ukunciphisa iimvakalelo ezimbi. Ngoko, impazamo yokuqala: umama ucela iingcebiso ngendlela yokujongana nokuhaha. Kodwa sifanele sibeke umbuzo ngenye indlela: njani ukuphakamisa ububele? Ngenxa yale mibuzo mibini yindlela ekhethekileyo eyahlukileyo yokukhulisa.
"... Indlela eya entliziyweni yomntwana ayikho into ecocekileyo, nokuba yindlela ehamba ngayo, apho isandla sikatitshala senza oko kanye, esiqhelisa iinqwelo zokhula, kunye nangentsimi enamafutha apho izihluma zokuziphatha zikhula ... ngokwabo, bangabonwa ngunyana, kwaye ukutshatyalaliswa kwabo akuhambelani naziphi na izinto ezibuhlungu, ukuba zithatyathwa ngokunyuka kwamaxabiso. "
Kulo mazwi alinganisayo kaVukhomlinsky, kwingcamango yakhe yokuba iziqhamo zigqitywa "ngokwazo", abaninzi, njengombandela, abafuni ukukholelwa. Siye sazi kakuhle ukufunwa kweemfuno, isohlwayo, ukukholisa, ukukhuthazwa-ukufundisa ngokukhawuleza ukulwa nemingcoliseko; maxa wambi sinokubambisana ngokugqithiseleyo nemiphumo yomntwana esiyiboniyo. Okanye mhlawumbi akufanele ulwa? Ngaba, unokufana nokuziphatha ngokungafaniyo, ukubona nokuphucula umntwana konke okusemgangathweni?
Kwaye kwenzeka njalo ngale ndlela: kuqala ngokusweleka kwethu, okanye ukunyaniseka, okanye ukunyaniseka, sihlakulela ububi, kwaye ngoko kukhwela ngamandla ukulwa nalobubi. Okokuqala siqondisa imfundo kwindlela yamanga, kwaye ke siyayeka: silwe!
Khangela, xa inkwenkwe engayinikezi amathoyizi, umama uyabathabatha kuye. Ikhutshwe ngamandla. Kodwa ukuba unina oqinileyo undibambelele ithoyibhile ebuthakathaka, kutheni ndifanele ukuba, emva kokuxelisa umama, thabathe ithoyilo kumntu obuthakathaka kunami? Akunakwenzeka ukuba umntu oneminyaka emibili aqonde ukuba umama "uyamelana nobubi" kwaye ngoko kunjalo, kodwa yena, umntwana, wenza okubi kwaye ngoko akulungile. Hayi, ezi ziphathekayo zokuziphatha azisoloko ziqondwa ngabantu abadala. Umntwana ufumana isifundo esinye: unamandla uyasusa! Ungathabatha inamandla!
Bafundisa okulungileyo, kodwa bafundisa ubugwenxa ... Hayi, andifuni ukugqithisa: umama wamthabatha - kakuhle, kulungile, akukho nto yatshoyo, mhlawumbi akuzange kwenzeke. Ndathatha kwaye ndithatha, andifuni ukuyikrakra. Ndiza kuqaphela kuphela ukuba isenzo esinjalo asibonakali singasebenzi.
Kodwa khumbula, umama-umbhali wencwadi wenza ngendlela enye: ngokukholisa. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ukukholisa kuchasene nesijeziso. Enyanisweni, bancedisa nje ngezohlwayo. Yiyiphi ingongoma yokukholisa umntwana, ngokudala okanye ngenxa yokuphuhliswa kokuziphatha kweenkolelo, aqondanga nje?
Ewe, kungekhona ngamandla, kungekhona ngokunyengisa, kodwa njani? "I-repertoire" yezenzo ezibonakalayo kubonakala ukuba umama uphelelwe ... Okwangoku, kukho ubuncinane indlela enye yokuphumeza umphumo oyifunayo. Inzululwazi ye-pedagogical yaqala ukuthetha ngokukhawuleza malunga neenzuzo zocebiso. Ngendlela, thina, ngaphandle kokuqaphela, sebenzisa le ndlela kwinqanaba ngalinye. Sisoloko sigqugquzela umntwana: ungumntu onobuqili, ungobubi, unomdla ... kwaye uncinci umntwana, kulula ukufanisa nesiluleko.
Kodwa yonke into iyona nto ekukhuthazeni umntwana. Into enye, yinto enye into: ukukhuthaza ukuba ulungile, unobindi, unesisa, ufanelekile! Phakamisa, kude kube sekwephuzile kakhulu, de kube sinesizathu esithile isizathu soqinisekiso!
Ingane, njengabo bonke abantu, isebenza ngokuvisisana nengqiqo yakhe. Ukuba uqinisekile ukuba unomdla, ke akayi kukhangela le mpawu kamva. Ukuba ubonisa ukuba unomusa, uya kuba novuyo. Kufuneka kuphela ukuqonda ukuba isiphakamiso asikho konke ukukholisa, kungekhona amagama kuphela. Ukukholisa kuthetha ukunceda umntwana ngazo zonke iindlela zokukwazi ukudala ingcinga engcono. Okokuqala, ukususela kwiintsuku zokuqala - isiluleko, ngoko, ngokuthe tye - kunye nokusoloko-sebenzisa ... Nantsi, mhlawumbi, isicwangciso esona siphumelelo semfundo.
Sazama ukwenza le nkwenkwe ukuba ihlanganyele amathoyizi, yazama ukuthabathela kuye le maathoyizi, yazama ukuyihlazisa, yazama ukuyikhohlisa - ayincedi. Masizame ngokwahlukileyo, ngokuthokoza ngakumbi:
"Ufuna nesitya sam, naye?" Nceda uthabathe, andixoxe! Ingakanani ukubeka? Omnye? Mabini? Yilokho umntu wethu olungileyo, mhlawumbi uya kuba ligorha-ingakanani i-porridge ayidlayo! Hayi, akayithandi, uthanda nje iphariji!
Musa ukunika amathoyizi kwenye?
- Hayi, akayikukratshi nonke, ugcina nje amathoyizi, akawaphuli, akayi kulahlekelwa. Uyakhathaza, uyazi? Kwaye ke, namhlanje nje ukuba akafuni ukunika umdlalo, kwaye ngezolo wanikela kwaye ngomso uya kuwubuyisela, udlale yena aze abuyisele, kuba akabi. Asikroli kwintsapho: unina akabi, kwaye uyise akawuthandi, kodwa unyana wethu unomusa kunabo bonke!
Kodwa ngoku simele sinike umntwana ithuba lokubonisa ububele bakhe. Iziganeko ezilikhulu zokuhaha ziya kutyeshwa kwaye zigwetywe, kodwa omnye umzekelo wokuba nomnene, nokuba ngaba ngengozi, iya kuba ngumsitho. Ngokomzekelo, ngomhla wokuzalwa kwakhe siza kumnika i-candy-inike abantwana kubantwana bentanga, uneholide namhlanje ... Uya kuhambisa, kodwa yintoni enye! Yaye ukuba ugijimela entendelezweni enecookie, mnike iincwadana ezimbalwa kubadlali bakhe-abantwana abasenkundleni bayayithanda yonke into abayidlayo, kubonakala ngathi abaphelelwanga iminyaka.
Ndiyazi indlu apho abantwana bengakaze banikwe i-candy enye, i-apula enye, enye imbhobho - iphela nje ezimbini. Ngaphandle kwesonka, ukukhonza, saqhekeka kwisiqingatha, ukwenzela ukuba kukho iingqungqwana ezimbini kangangokuba umntwana akanakuvakalelwa kukuba "unokugqibela", kodwa kuya kubonakala ngathi unako kwaye unokwabelwana nomntu. Ngoko ukuba le ntliziyo ayivuki - inesihawu ukunika! Kodwa abazange baphoqele ukwabelana, kwaye abazange bakhuthaze - bafumana ithuba elifanelekileyo nje.
Ukumangalela umntwana ngenxa yokuhaha, siya kucinga ukuba yintoni isizathu. Mhlawumbi sinika umntwana kakhulu, mhlawumbi mncinci? Mhlawumbi thina ngokwenu siba nekratshi kuye-kwiinjongo zemfundo, kunjalo?
Kwaye ekugqibeleni, okulula, okunye, mhlawumbi, kufuneka kuqalwe. Kubonakala ukuba, unina-umbhali wencwadi-akayazi ukuba umntwana wakhe wangena kwixesha elibalulekileyo lokuphuhliswa, kwizinto ezibizwa ngokuba "iminyaka emibini embi": ixesha lokunyanzela, ukuphika, ukuthanda. Kungaba kuhle ukuba le nkwenkwe ayinikezi amathoyizi nonke kwimakrakra, kodwa kuphela kwinkxalabo ezayo kungekudala. Kulo nyaka, wonke umntwana oqhelekileyo unelisekile, aphule, akayithobeli, akayikubona ukuba "akunakwenzeka." I-monster, kwaye kuphela! Yintoni eya kwenzeka kuye xa ekhula?
Ewe, akayi kuba njalo! Ewe, umntu akakwazi ukukhula ngokulinganayo kwaye ngokufanelekileyo, njenge-rutabaga ebhedeni!
Ndayazi le ntombazana ngexesha elifanayo: unyaka kunye neenyanga ezisibhozo. "Mnike umama ibhola!" - Ibhola emva komva. "Yipha umama!" - amehlo ehlangothini, i-candy ngokukhawuleza emlonyeni, yayicima. Iinyanga ezili-6 zidlulile-kwaye ngoku, xa zinika isiqwenga se-apula ehlutshiwe, idonsa umama: xela! Yaye utata ubaba! Uze uqhube ikati ebusweni - gxuma! Kwaye awuyi kumchazela ukuba ikati ayifuni i-apula, kwaye kufuneka ukhuthaze le ngxaki yokucoceka: uyibamba ikati, kwaye emva koko emlonyeni.
Kodwa kuthekani ukuba umntwana wayengatshintshi? Kulungile, ngoko, njengangaphambili, kufuneka ukhuthaze ukuba unomusa, ukuphefumlela unyaka, iminyaka emihlanu, ishumi, ishumi elinesihlanu, ngaphandle kokukhathala, kude kube yilapho isicatshulwa ngokwawo siphumelela into eyiluncedo-umzekelo, umzekelo. Okanye nowekratshi ngolwazi, ngobomi. Ewe, sonke sibingelela ukuhaha.