Ngelishwa, ngamanye amaxesha abantwana bethu baphatha ngendlela eyahlukileyo kunokuba sifuna: bayonakalisa izinto, baxhamle iintambo zabo, baxabane nabanye. Iingcali zengqondo zibiza lo msebenzi. Yiyiphi imbangela yento "yobundlobongela bomntwana" - impawu okanye imfundo? Yaye uyasabela njani kuyo?
Ngenye indlela, ubugwenxa buqhelekile kubo bonke abantu. Uzikhumbule ngokwakho: kaninzi sithatyathwa yimvakalelo emibi, sifuna ukumemeza, sitsho, kodwa, njengomthetho, sisalinda umsindo. Kodwa abantwana bethu abasakwazi ukulawula iimvakalelo zabo, ngoko ukungavumelani kwabo okanye ukucasula kubonakaliswe ngendlela eyamkelekileyo kubo: ukumemeza, ukukhala, ukulwa. Musa ukudala ingxaki xa umntwana ehlaselwa ngamanye amaxesha - eneminyaka ubudala, ufunda indlela yokujamelana nomsindo wakhe. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba umntwana ubonakalisa ukuziphatha kakubi kaninzi, lixesha lokucinga ngalo. Ngethuba lexesha, ulwaphulo lunokugxininiswa kwiimpawu zobuntu ezinjengexhala, ukukhathazeka, ukukhawuleza, ngoko kufuneka uhlele ukuxhasa abantwana ngokukhawuleza.
Imbali 1. "Imifanekiso emihle."
"Ukuthulisa egumbini labantwana, ndiyakrokra ," kutsho umama we-Ira eneminyaka emihlanu ubudala. - Kungenzeka ukuba emva kweengcango ezivaliwe kwakhona uhlobo oluthile lokuhlanjululwa luyenzeka. Iintyatyambo kwiifotshane, iisokisi e-aquarium - ekuqaleni sazijonga ezi ntshukumo zentsana njengengqiqo yokudala, kodwa ke yaqonda: I-Ira yenzayo ngokukhawuleza. Ngokomgaqo, mna nomyeni wam sizama ukungazenzi isijeziso sonyango, senza "ukuhambela", kodwa ngelinye ilanga abazange bakwazi ukuma. Ngolunye usuku abahlobo beza kuthi batyelela, kwaye ngelixa sibheka itiye ekhitshini, u-Ira walungiselela "isipho": i-albhamu yokudweba ukususela ekuqaleni ukuya ekugqibeleni idityaniswe ngeefoto eziluhlaza zikaBenjamin Franklin noGeorge Washington. Imiva endiyenayo yam nomyeni ngexesha lokuziswa kwesi "sicelo", amagama akakwazi ukuhambisa ... "
Isizathu. Ngokuqhelekileyo, amabali anjalo ayenzeka kunye nabantwana "abaxakeke" abazali abanenkcitho yokungabikho kwexesha leentsana zabo. Kwaye akukhona nje ngoomama abaqeqeshiweyo: ngamanye amaxesha abesifazana abanalo umzuzu wokukhulula. Okwangoku, izazi zeengqondo zibonakalise ukuba ukukhathalelwa kwabazali kubaluleke kakhulu ekuveliseni umntwana ngokuqhelekileyo (kungekhona nje ngengqondo, kodwa kunye nomzimba!). Kwaye ukuba umntwana akafumani umlinganiselo ofanelekileyo wokuqwalasela, ngoko ufumanisa indlela yakhe yokuyifumana. Emva koko, ukuba udala into ethi "uhlobo", abazali baya kuzincama zabo kwizenzo zabo ezingapheliyo, bathukuthele, bakhuphe, bakhuphe. Ewe, konke oku akukho mnandi, kodwa kuya kufunyanwa ingqalelo. Kwaye kungcono kunanto nhlobo ...
Yintoni endiyenzayo? Indlela yokuqala yokuphendula yabazali kwisenzo esingalunganga somntwana kufuneka sibe ... isishumi esinesibini esibuhlungu. Kwaye nje ulula nje, ungaqala ukujezisa umntwana. Thetha naye njengomntu omdala, uchaze indlela ocaphukisa ngayo ngayo (kodwa, gwema ukutshutshisa: "Ukhohlakele, ungekho", mhlawumbi umntwana uya kukholelwa ukuba unguye). Ewe, xa ingxabano iphelile, qwalasela ukuba umntwana wakho uyakunakana. Mhlawumbi uchitha ixesha elininzi kunye naye, kodwa kumntwana kubaluleke ngakumbi kunokuba ungakanani, kodwa njani. Ngamanye amaxesha umxholo wesigxina-isifundo-ukufunda, ukudweba-kuthetha ngaphezulu kweeyure ezimbini, uchithe nje kunye, kodwa kungekhona ekusebenzisaneni.
Imbali 2. "Zisindise, ngubani onako!"
U-Alina oneminyaka emithandathu ubudala - intombazana esebenzayo, intlalontle, kunye nabantwana nabantoni na ngokukhawuleza bafumana ulwimi olufanayo kunye ... ngokukhawuleza balahlekelwa. Kungenxa yokuba zonke iingxaki ezazisetyenziselwa ukuyixazulula ngeentonga zakhe, amazinyo okanye izinto eziguqulwa ngengalo: iintonga, amatye. Ootitshala kwi-kindergarten evela ku-Alina "i-moan": intombazana isoloko ilwa nomntu, ihlathulula amathoyizi ebantwini kwaye iwaphule. Kwaye uAlina akavumelanga abazali bakhe ukuba baye ekhaya: oko akufunangayo, ngokukhawuleza, ukuqalekisa, ukukrokra, ukusongela. "Lo mgaqo kufuneka umiswe ," unina ka-Alina. - Ngoko ke, ibhande elisekhaya lethu lihlala kwindawo evelele. Enyanisweni, unceda uncinci ... "
Isizathu. Inokwenzeka ukuba, intombazana ibhalela nje kuphela ulwalamano olulawulayo kwintsapho. Ukuba abazali basebenzisa ukuthetha nomntwana kumathoni aphezulu, kwaye zonke iingxabano zixazululwa ngamandla, ngoko umntwana uya kuziphatha ngokufanelekileyo. Kuphutha ukucinga ukuba umntwana "unokuphulwa", unqobe ukuchasana nokungahloneli. Ngokuchaseneyo, umncinci onokutshatyalaliswa rhoqo, onomdla ongathandwayo (ngokungathi awunakunqotshwa!), Uba ngumsindo. Uqokelela intlungu kunye nomsindo kubazali bakhe, enokuthi athathe kuyo nayiphi na imeko - ekhaya, kwi-nursergart, kwisiza.
Yintoni endiyenzayo? Akunjalo nantoni na ongayifumani ngentshutshiso yomntwana ngokuxhatshazwa ngokukhawuleza: ukusongela, ukukhala, amagama ahlambalazayo, ngakumbi ukuhlwaywa komntu. Bonisa isimo sakho sengqondo kwisimo sengqondo okanye ukuziphatha komntwana kunokuthi kube ngenye indlela: umzekelo, ukumlahla ukubukela imifanekiso, ukuya kwikhofe okanye ukuhamba nabahlobo (ngendlela, ukusola kuhlale kulunge, ukulahla into entle kunokuhambisa izinto ezimbi). Kodwa, nangona xa uvakalisa isohlwayo, zama ukuhlala uxolo: xelela umntwana ukuba nayiphi na into engeyiyo eyenzayo iquka imiphumo, mazise ngaye.
Kwezinye iimeko, kufuneka usebenzise indlela yokulumkisa. Umzekelo, umntwana uqala ukuziphatha ngokungcolileyo kwindawo yokudlala: ukuxhaphaza, ukunyanzelisa abanye abantwana, ukuthabatha amathoyizi. Akuyimfuneko ukuphinda ixesha elide: "Musa ukutshatshaza, ungalwi!" - kungcono ukulumkisa kwangoko, uthi: "Ukuba uphatha abantwana kakubi, ndiya kukuthatha ekhaya." Kule meko, umntwana unethuba lokucinga nokugqiba. Ukuba utshintsha indlela aziphatha ngayo, abazali bakhe baya kumdumisa, kwaye uya kuhamba, ukuba uyaqhubeka, uya ekhaya. Le ndlela igweba ukulungiswa okungadingekile, ukudibana, nokuthetha. Kodwa kubalulekile ukuba ukhumbule ukuba isilumkiso simele sizaliseke ukuze umntwana angabi nengozi.
Imbali 3. "Amabhontshi eSabers."
Umama oneminyaka engama-4 ubudala, uDima uthi: "Yonke imidlalo efana nendodana yam inxulumene neenkwenkwezi, iimfazwe okanye iimfazwe . Kwiziphakamiso zam ukudlala emdlalweni othile onokuthula, inkunzi yenyana iphinda iphendule ngokungavumi. Into eyona nto inokuphazamisa umvukeli omncinane kwiimpahla yiTV. Kodwa kwakhona unyana wam unika ukhetho kwintlanzi- "amabali amangalisa": malunga ne-monster eyisihloko, malunga ne-turtles-ninja. Ngokunyanisekileyo, ngokuhlwa ndidiniwe kakhulu nale mfazwe engapheliyo. Ukongezelela, ukuhamba ngeenqwelomoya kwindlu ethile ngezinye iinkcukacha kuwela ngqo kum kumbe okanye uyise okhulelwe obuya emsebenzini . "
Isizathu. Enyanisweni, ulwalamano luphawu lwesimo salo nawuphi na umlingana womfana. Ngokwezenzululwazi, nangona abazali bekhusela ngokunyanisekileyo oonyana babo kwiimidlalo zemidlalo kunye neefilimu ezinobundlobongela obunobundlobongela, abafana baqhubeka bedlala kwimfazwe, baphendulela ipensela, izixhobo zemidlalo kunye nezinye izinto ezinokuthula zibe zixhobo.
Yintoni endiyenzayo? Ukuba ukutshatyalaliswa kwendodana kubonakala kuphela kwimidlalo kwaye akukho nto, akukho nto ingakhathazeki ngayo. Inyaniso yokuba amakhwenkwe adlala imidlalo enobudlova kunye nemimfono yomsindo, kwaye ukunyanzelisa into ethile kuya kuthetha ukuthintela uhlobo lwabo. Nangona kunjalo, unako ukunika umdlalo ngokutsha ngokukhawuleza, ukuze umntwana athole amathuba amatsha. Kodwa ngenxa yoko akwanele nje ukunikela ngokudlala "kwenye into". Umntwana kufuneka abe nomdla, afundise indlela yokudlala: izazi zeengqondo zikhomba ukuba abazali banamhlanje baye balitshabalalisa indlela yokudlala nabantwana babo, kwaye banokukhathazeka ngokuphuhliswa kokuqala kunye nokufunda.
UKUBONISWA KWE-EXPERT: U-Alla Sharova, isazi sezengqondo seziko labantwana "iNezbudki"
Abazali bomntwana abaxhatshazwayo kufuneka bafunde umgaqo owodwa obalulekileyo: nayiphi na isizathu esibangela ukunyanzeliswa komntwana - umlingiswa okanye umgangatho-wezemfundo-ongenakukwazi ukukhutshelwa nayiphi na imeko, kufuneka ukuba akhululwe ngaphandle. Ukwenza oku, kukho iindlela eziyaziwayo: vumela umntwana ukuba aqhekeze iphepha, anqumle udongwe lwe-plastiki, amemezele, atyathele iinyawo. Kwakhona ufunde ukutshintsha ugonyamelo lomntwana kwisitishi esinokuthula. Ngokomzekelo, uqaphele ukuba umntwana wakho uqala ukumemeza kunye nokukrazula ngeenxa zonke kwendlu, utshayela yonke into endleleni yakhe. Emva koko mnike isenzo esincinane ... ukucula. Nika ezandleni izandla ze-microphone ezilungisiweyo, zibeke kwisibuko, ubonise ukunyakaza komdaniso - makhele umlingisi. Okanye umntwana uqala ngokuzikhethela kubazali ngaphandle kwesizathu. Khawuleza uthi: "Oo, ewe ungumqhubi wethu! Nasi isikhwama sakho sokutshiza. " Uze umnike umntwana umlotha, makamkhonze njengokuba kuyimfuneko.