Umama uya kutshata kwaye kukho imibuzo kunye nokwesaba phambi kwakhe -kuba ingaba unyana uya kukwazi ukuwamkela upapa omtsha, njani ungabhubhisi ubuhlobo nosana, nokuba umntu uya kumthanda umntwana wakho kwaye athole ulwimi olufanayo. Emva kwakho konke, impendulo kule mibuzo iya kuxhomekeka ekupheleni kwentsapho yakho kunye nemoya ekukhuliseni ngayo unyana wakho. Ngokuqhelekileyo, iingxaki ezivela ngokuziphatha komntwana zihambelana ngqo nokuphendula kwakhe kwiimeko ezitshintshile zobomi, phambi koomntu omtsha endlwini. Asimele sikhohlwe ukuba unyana usetyenziselwa ukuba yonke ixesha lakho, ingqalelo kunye nothando unikezwa kuye kuphela. Kwaye kwiimeko ezintsha, kufuneka ubelane nomnye umntu. Ngokuchasene nale mvelaphi, umntwana kaninzi unesiphephelo esipheleleyo, umona, awuyi kuba nolwazi olwaneleyo nonyana ngenxa yomyeni omtsha. Uya kukumangalela ngokungcatsha uyise.
Ukuze ugweme imeko enzima, apho unyana wakho, ngokuqinisekileyo, ufumana uxinzelelo lwangempela, akufanele ubeke phambi kwe-accompli accompli. Qinisekisa ukuba uthethe ngokunyanisekileyo nonyana wakho, umchazele isikhundla sakho kulo mbandela kwaye uphulaphule ngokucophelela yonke into ayiphendulayo. Emva kwakho konke, abantwana banokuziva bekhulile ngabantu abadala, banokubona into engabonakaliyo emehlweni akho. Uthandana kwaye awukwazi ukubona into ekhethiweyo okanye ungabandakanyi ukubaluleka kuyo. Mamela amazwi omntwana kwaye ucinge. Ukuba unyana wakho ubonisa iimbonakalo ezimbi kumntu wakho, ungayithathi njengento. Sifanele sicinge ngokucokisekileyo kwaye sihlalutye yonke into eyenziwa ngumntwana. Kuthekani ukuba ulungile? Ngaba kulungele ukutshatyalalisa ubudlelwane kunye nendodana ngenxa yomyeni omtsha, ngumdlalo owufanele ikhandlela?
Ukongeza, thatha ixesha lakho nomtshato. Kuya kuba kuhle ukuba unyana wakho kunye nomkhethiweyo wakho azame ukunxibelelana, ukwazi omnye nomnye. Umntwana wakho kufuneka asebenzise ukubonakala komntu omtsha kwintsapho. Kwaye kufuneka uzame ukuyilungiselela ukuba ingqwalasela kunye nokunyamekela kwakho kungekuphela kuye, kodwa kumyeni wakho. Ingane yakho kufuneka ithathe le meko ngokuqhelekileyo. Cacisa ukuba oku akuthethi ukuthintela ukulawula kwakho.
Kufuneka uqonde ukuba ekufikeni ilungu elitsha lentsapho, unyana wakho uya kuthi, akanakunceda. Wayesetyenziselwa ukuba ungolifa lakhe, kodwa ngoku yonke into ishintshile. Yingakho xa kunjalo, xa unina, ngelixa esenza amalungiselelo ebomi bakhe bomntu, azibalekele ngomntwana ngenxa yomyeni omtsha, malunga neemvakalelo zakhe, kukho iingxaki zokuziphatha, kunye nezifundo. Emva koko, umntwana oshiywe kuye ufumana inkululeko aze ayilahle ngendlela yakhe.
Ngaphandle kweemeko kufuneka ubalekele ngomntwana kwimeko, kufuneka abe nomuva ukuba ubuhlobo bakho naye abuzange butshintshe. Kufuneka wenze yonke imizamo yokuzisa abantu ababini abathandekayo kuwe. Musa ukususa umyeni wakho kwindodana yakho, sombulula zonke iingxaki eziphakanyanayo kunye. Uhambo oluhlangeneyo, oluhamba nje. Zama ukwenza imisebenzi yasendlwini abenzileyo kunye, ngoko umntwana uya kuqonda ukuba unyawo olulinganayo kunye nosapho.
Ngamanye amaxesha kwenzeka njengalokhu: uyise wesibini, ezama ukuhlalisana ubudlelwane kunye nezingane, emcela izipho, ecela kuye xa uthe wammangalela - oku kuyindlela engalunganga. Umntwana kufuneka aqonde ilungu elitsha lentsapho njengomntu woluntu, kungekhona njengendwendwe. Izipho kunye neentsilelo - oku akunjalo ukhetho lwemfundo. Kufuneka abone ukuba utata omtsha uxhasa unina, kwaye abazali abanalo imibono eyahlukileyo kwihambo yakhe. Ngoko ke, ukuba umntwana unetyala, ngoko kufuneka ajeziswe, kuba ixesha elizayo ukungaziphathi kakubi kunokuba kubi kakhulu. Ngokukodwa xa uneminyaka yobutsha.
Indlela umntwana abona ngayo utata omtsha, oku kuxhomekeke kuwe, kwaye ngexesha elifanayo lixhomekeke kakhulu kwiminyaka yomntwana. Kuba umntwana uselula kakhulu, kuba ubona bobabini njengomntu wonke-unina omuhle. Ngaloo usana, ukuhamba kopapa kuboniswa kuphela kwimeko yokuba umama uphazamisekile, ukhalela kakhulu, kwaye akagxininisi kwintsana. Ngoko ke, ukuba umntu ubonakala owenza unina uyavuya, ngoko umntwana usheshe asebenzise imeko entsha.
Xa uneminyaka emibini ubudala, umntwana uyazi kakuhle ukuba abantu bahluke kwaye akusoloko kulungile. Kwiingxabano zabazali, abantwana abanjalo banomuzwa wecala. Ucinga ukuba uMama noTata baxabana ngenxa yokuba wayeziphatha kakubi, akazange adle i-porridge. Ngoko ke, ukubonakala kwipapa omtsha, uyayibona ngokuqaphela nangokuqaphela. Umntwana ukwesaba ukuba angathandi kwaye awonakalise ubudlelwane phakathi komama kunye nompapa omtsha. Ukongezelela, umntwana usele ecinga malunga nokuba lo malume ulungile okanye cha.
Abantwana abaneminyaka emithathu ukuya kwimithandathu ubudala banamava okubizwa ngokuba yi-Oedipus complex. Kulo nyaka, umntwana unengqiqo enamandla yokukhuphisana. Ukuba abazali bayishiya, le nkwenkwana ibuhlungu kwaye iyancoma ngexesha elinye. Ukholelwa ukuba ekunakekeleni kwipapa, ufanelekile. Kule meko, xa udibana nobaba omtsha, uya kuhlangana nesantya somoya. Le nkwenkwe icinga ukuba nonke niphilile, unelungelo elingenanto.
Ubuntlwana mhlawumbi lunzima kakhulu, kodwa kusekho iingxaki kwintsapho. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, ngenxa yomyeni omtsha womama, umntwana unemizwa eninzi - ukungabaza, ukwesaba, ityala, ukhuphiswano, umona. Yaye yonke into iya kuxhomekeka kwindlela umntwana abona ngayo imeko.
Ngoko, obaluleke kakhulu, umzuzu obalulekileyo ukuba unyana wakho uqhelane okokuqala nomntu onokuthi ubaba. Ukuthandana, kukho imigaqo emihlanu eya kukunceda:
- Kufuneka ulungiselele unyana wakho kwintlanganiso. Mxelele malunga nomntu okhethiweyo-makamqhelane naye engekho, nangaphambi kokuba kubekho intlanganiso.
- Zama ukuqhelana nommandla ongathathi hlangothi. Unokuhlala kwi-cafe, uye kwi-zoo okanye uhambe nje epakini.
- Kungabi phoso ukuthetha kwonyana inqaku elithi "uya kuba nguyise omtsha." Ngoko uphazamisa iimvakalelo zomntwana kwaye uhlambalaze umyeni wakho wangaphambili. Ubeka umviwa omtsha phambi kokunyanzelwa kwaloo mi sebenzi, engayicingi.
- Musa ukumboza umntwana ngomlambo wolwazi. Emva kwesimemezelo somtshato, musa ukusho ngokukhawuleza ukuba ulindele omnye umntwana.
- Kwaye kubaluleke kakhulu, khumbula, umntwana wakho akayiyo imbangela yecala kwaye ayikho ikhadi lexilongo kumdlalo wakho. Ukuba uloyiko lokuba umntwana uchitha yonke into kwiintlanganiso, ngoko uxhumo aluqine ngokwaneleyo. Musa ukukhawuleza nomtshato.
Into eyona nto kukuba umntwana kufuneka aqiniseke ukuba ubalulekile kuwe, ukuba nguye umntu osondele kuwe. Kodwa naye kufuneka aqonde ukuba kukho iimbini zakho kunye nobomi bakho. Emva koko uya kuphumelela.
Ngoku uyazi ukuba ungangcolisi ubudlelwane kunye nendodana yakho ngenxa yendoda yakho entsha kwaye uhlale unomama nomfazi onoyolo.