Ukwahlukana kwabadala kunika ithuba lokuqalisa ubomi obutsha, kodwa kubantwana umtshato wokuqhawuka kwabazali awuvelisi ithemba elivuyisayo. Ngokuqhelekileyo abantwana abaqondi isizathu sokuba abazali bahambe, banesidima sokudideka, baxakekile, bazive bekhuselekile. Umntwana akakwazi ukuqonda ukuba umama noyise bayeka ukuthanda omnye nomnye, ngoko bafuna ukwahlukana ngonaphakade. Ngaba ungathini kumxelela umntwana ngokuqhawula umtshato?
Ukuxelela umntwana ngokuqhawula umtshato, kufuneka uhambisane nemithetho ethile. Kuyinto engenangqondo kwaye ingenangqiqo ukumxelela ukuba uyise unomfazi othandekayo kwaye uyamthanda, uya kuhlala naye, avelise abanye abantwana. Akuyimfuneko ukuxelela umntwana ngokucacileyo kunye nesizathu sokuba kutheni upapa wayeke akhathazeke ngaye, umzekelo, ukuba unokuxhomekeke kotywala kwaye akakwazi ukuwususa. Ingane iyakwazi ukucinga kwiindidi ezilula kwaye zizodwa: Ndibathanda abazali bam, kwaye bayandithanda. Ukuba umphefumlo womntwana awunayo le fom yeprayimari, ngoko akayi kuba nemvakalelo yokuphumla nokuphumla.
Ngokuhlukana kwabazali ebomini bomntwana, utshintsho luyabonakala, ngoko ungathethi ngabo, kuya kuthathwa njengenkohliso. Ukongeza, ukuba umntwana akachazwanga, ngoko uya kunyanzelwa ukuba ajongane nemeko yakhe. Kodwa umntwana ucinga ngolu hlobo olusekelwe kuphela kumava akhe omntwana, umntwana.
Enyanisweni yokuba uyise wayishiya intsapho ngokuphindaphindiweyo kunabantwana abazitshitshisa ngokwabo - oku kuyisisombululo esiqhelekileyo esenziwa ngabantwana. Oku kubangelwa kukuba abantwana bavame ukuzitshoyisa kwaye bakholelwa ukuba ukungavumelani kwabazali kubangelwa ukuziphatha kwabo okubi. Ukuba abantwana basala bodwa kunye neengcamango zabo, kunokukhokelela ekudakaleni okanye kwimeko engathandekiyo yokukhathazeka. Ukongezelela, ivakalelo lentyala liza kumtshutshisa umntwana ubomi bakhe bonke, kwaye luyakwazi nokuba lukhuni oluphantsi. Ngoko ke, kufuneka umxelele umntwana okwenzekayo kwintsapho yakho. Xa uthetha, kubaluleke kakhulu ukumqinisekisa ukuba wena noTata ngeke bayeke ukumthanda. Utata kufuneka aphinde athethe nomntwana, ngokukhethekileyo ngokwahlukileyo. Ngexesha le ngxoxo, akukho imfuneko ukuxelela ngokucacileyo ukuba kutheni oku kwenzeka. Ngexesha elifanayo, ungabhali kumntwana ahlukeneyo malunga nokuhamba kwezoshishino, kuba akudingeki ukuba umqinisekisile ntv ukuba kungekudala yonke into iya kutshintsha. Ingcono umxelele inyaniso, ngoko akayi kucinga kwaye afike ngeenguqulelo ezimbi kakhulu zezinto ezenzekayo.
Kwenzeka ukuba umntwana unamathele ngokuqinile kumama, kwaye uyise akayiva nantoni na (mhlawumbi uyise wayesebenze kakhulu, wayenqabile ekhaya okanye ebanda kubantwana). Ngoko ke, umntwana uya kuhlola iinyembezi kunye namava omama ngendlela yakhe: "Yintoni eya kwenzeka kum ukuba umama uyafa, kuba wayegula?". Ngako oko, unina kufuneka achazele umntwana ukuba kutheni uyakhala okanye uva. Incoko enjalo iya kumqinisekisa umntwana, uyazi ukuba umama uphilile kwaye akukho nto iya kwenzeka kuye.
Ukuthetha nomntwana kuyimfuneko ukukhetha amagama ahlukeneyo ekuqwalaseleni ubudala bakhe. Nangona kunjalo, umntu akufanele akhusele umntwana (kwixesha elingakanani ayengayi kuba nalo) ukusuka kumava, njengoko kuya kwenzeka nayiphi na imeko. Ncedisa umntwana ukuba asinde ukuhlukana noyise ongenasiphelo. Akukho mfuneko ngeli xesha ukuthumela umntwana ekampini okanye kumakhulu, mhlawumbi uya kuqala ukuziva elahliwe kwaye efana. Qinisekisa kubantwana ukuba ubunzima bunzima.
Kwiintsapho zanamhlanje, ukuqhawula umtshato kuyisiganeko, kungakhathaliseki ukuba kubi. Bonisa umzekelo kumntwana ukuba kunokwenzeka ukuba avele kwimeko enesidima, kodwa kuye kuya kuba sesikolweni esilungileyo. Thatha ngoko ngesandla, ungalili umntwana (kuphela ebusuku, emlanjeni), kodwa yenza konke ukuze inzuzo yentsana.
Zama ukulondoloza ulwalamano oluhle nomyeni wakho wangaphambili, oku kuya kukuvumela ukuba uphendule imibuzo ethile malunga nokukhuliswa komntwana.
Ukuba umtshato wesibini utshatile, ngoko uzama ukumisela ubudlelwane bezoqoqosho kunye nomfazi wakhe omtsha, oku kuya kukuvumela ukuba uvumeleke ukuba umntwana angene kwintsapho kayise.
Ungamxeleli umntwana ukuba uyise unobungozi, kuya kumlimaza umntwana.
Fumana isifundo esitsha senu kunye nomntwana wakho. Ungabonisi umntwana wakho imvakalelo embi, abantwana banomdla kwiimeko zonina. Zenze wena nomntwana wakho isipho esincinane.
Emva kwexesha, amanxeba aya kuphulukisa kwaye uya kufumana uxolo noxolo.