Ekuzalweni kwenkwenkwana kumahlombe akhe asetshentshile abantwana, ngokukhawuleza uwela umthwalo wemfanelo: lo nguyindlalifa, oyindlalifa yentsapho kunye nomntu wokwenene. Ingcamango yendoda yinyani-iyancipha kwaye, ngokuqinisekileyo, wonke umntu utyhalela kuye into ethile. Kodwa ezinye iimpawu zikhona ngokuqinisekileyo - umntu kufuneka abe yingqiqo, onamandla, onokwethenjelwa nesibindi. Ngethuba lexesha, umxholo kunye nenjongo yalo mbono zinokutshintsha kakhulu: ukuba ngaphambili kwakukholelwa ukuba ukubonakala akuyona into ephambili kumntu, namhlanje umntu ongekho ngokungafihlayo akanakwenzeka ukuba uthathwa ngokuba "yinyani". Utshintsho olufanayo luye lwachaphazela inkcazelo ethi "inyanisekileyo" namhlanje-bakhetha ukulungelelanisa "imfuneko" okanye "ikhiye lokujika", kuba awukwazi ukutya okunyanisekileyo. Ngoko ke, abazali kuqala bafuna ukuzigqiba isigqibo - ngokwabo bafuna ntoni kumntwana wabo. Ukuba yonke imfundo iya kuncitshiswa ukuba ihlaziye "Indoda yokwenene ayinjenjalo", umphumo uya kuba lusizi. Emva koko, umntwana ufuna ukugxeka okwakhiqizayo - kunokuthetha oko akwenzayo okungahambi kakuhle, kuyimfuneko ukuchaza ngokuthe ngqo oko kufuneka kwenziwe.
Ukukhula indoda kumfana kunzima, kuba ngamanye amaxesha abazali, beqonda ubuninzi bezoxanduva, baqale nge-diaper ukufundisa umntwana kwingcamango "yokuba ngumntu", kwaye ngenxa yoko, bavame ukujezisa kwaye bancancise ngaphezu kwamantombazana. Kodwa kungakhathaliseki ukuba abazali bangathanda ukukholelwa ukuba ngenxa yolu hlobo "lukhuni" lwenyana yabo indoda iza kuvela, oku akunjalo. Ngokuphindaphindiweyo, umphumo wale mfundo ngumntwana onomdla.
Ngoko, unokwenza ntoni ukuba wenze unyana wakho afane neengcamango zakho malunga nendoda yokwenene, indlela yokudala indoda yangempela kwinkwenkwe eya kuba yinkxaso yakho kunye nenjabulo ekuguga? Nangona umntwana esincinane, yibani nomnene kwaye unomdla naye, ukunyaniseka okugqithiseleyo kule ngxaki akuyi kunceda ukufezekisa iziphumo ezifunwayo. Kwintliziyo yolwalamano lwakho nonyana wakho kunye nolwalamano lwakhe kuwe kufuneka lube ngowokuqala nothando olukhulu. Emva koko, ngulo mzekelo wobudlelwane obuya kuthi umfana uya kuthunyelwa kumntu omdala-ngoko kuya kuba nokwakha ubudlelwane bakhe kunye namantombazana. Ukuze ube ngumntu omdala, unyana wakho wayeyindoda, kufuneka abe njalo ngoku. Chaza kwaye ubonise unyana wakho ukuba ungumfazi, unina - kwaye ufuna uncedo lwakhe nokukhuselwa. Nokuba inkwenkwana inokukunceda - thatha indebe, ipake okanye usebenzise into efunekayo. Ukuba kukho ubaba - naye, naye, kufuneka akuxhase kule mdlalo. Utata unako ukuchazela unyana wakhe ukuba bangamadoda, kwaye kufuneka azinyamekele abafazi bawo ngokubanzi.
Inkwenkwe ekhulileyo imele ibe yindlela yokuthutha kungekhona kuphela kunina, kodwa nakwabanye abafazi kunye namantombazana. Ungakulibali ukudumisa unyana wakho, uqaphele ukuba uziphatha njengomntu wokwenene kwaye uyaziqhayisa ngaye. Amakhwenkwe, indumiso isoloko ithetha kakhulu - iimeko zendalo zisengozini kunabesifazane kwaye zidinga ukukhuthazwa. Ukongeza, amakhwenkwe azifunayo ngokwabo ngaphezu kwamantombazana - kwaye yonke into ichaza ukuba bajonge ngakumbi. Ukuba uva nje kubazali bakhe kuphela ngeempazamo zakhe, kwaye zonke izenzo zakhe ezilungileyo zihlala zingabonakali, ukuzithemba komntwana kuqala ukuwela ngokukhawuleza. Kule meko, kubazali, into ephambili ayinakugqithisa. Iintetho ezininzi ezinokubongela nazo zimbi, njengoko zininzi kakhulu. Inkwenkwezi engenangqondo, edibeneyo, enokuqiniseka ngokungaqiniseki kwayo, iphinde ibe kude nomfanekiso wendoda yokwenene, njengomntwana onentloni kunye nomnyuba, oyikayo yonke igama lomzali.
Kuyaziwa ukuba phantse onke a makhwenkwe angama-hooligans amakhulu, kwaye abazali bahlala bejonge kwiinkcazo zomntwana wabo, bezama ukukhula indoda yangempela kuye, bawaxwayise ngexesha, bawakhusele kwiingozi baze babonise inkxalabo. Kwakhona ifuna intsingiselo yegolide - inika umntwana inkululeko, kufuneka ifunde ukwenza izigqibo zakhe, ibonise isibindi nesibindi. Umsebenzi wakho kukuchazela ukuba yintoni isibindi esinyani kunye nento enkohliso. Nika izikhokelo kwizenzo zakhe, ungafuneki ukuthobela okungaqinisekanga, kodwa qiniseka ukuba ikhondo eliqhelekileyo lokuhamba kunye nezenzo zomntwana lichanekile. Kule meko, into ebaluleke kakhulu yimfundo yenkwenkwana ngomzekelo kabawo, umzalwana, umalume. Ukuba intsapho ayinawo amadoda-anikezele kwicandelo lezemidlalo, apho umqeqeshi yindoda, okanye uthethe nomnye wabo ootitshala besikolo, kunye nomntu osuka kubahlobo babo.
Ulwazi malunga nendlela yokuziphatha umntu oyinyani, abafana bafundela ngokulula emlonyeni "womzekelo wokuphila." Kodwa kwincoko "amadoda anamadoda" nawo azinkohliso. Ngokuqhelekileyo upapa ungayiva inqaku elithi "kakuhle, uyabhonga, ngokuba uyindoda" okanye "amadoda akalili." Amakhwenkwe emva kokuba amagama athile aqala ukucinga ngento yokuba abayena madoda okwenene kwaye ahoxiswe, abe neentloni ukubonisa iimvakalelo. Kodwa iinyembezi kunye nombono wobunqunu awunxulumene nomnye. Yenza le nkwenkwe ibonise iimvakalelo zakhe njengoko zinako. Emva kwexesha, yena uya kuqonda indlela yokwenza. Kwaye ngoku uzama ukufundisa ubunzima bakhe obuhlukeneyo - makamncede uyise kumicimbi yabantu - ukunyusa (ngomntwana, ngokuqinisekileyo, ukukhankanya akufanele kube nzima, umzekelo, isinkwa esivela kwisitolo), ncedise upapa ngemisebenzi yasendlini. Ukuba intsapho ikwahlukana kwamatyala ibe yindoda kunye neyesetyhini, umntwana uya kuthunyelwa ngokuthe tyekileyo kwimoya efanayo kwintsapho yakhe ezayo, kwaye oku kungabangela ingcamango engamanga ngoomntu, umzekelo, ukunceda umama ngokucoca - kungekhona umntu. Okuchanekileyo ngakumbi umzekelo "okhululekile-lowo owenzayo." Kule meko, bobabini nomama banokutsala unyana omncinci, kodwa sele beyindoda yokwenene, emsebenzini olula - ukusula izitya, ukususa iimidlalo zabo.
Musa ukulibala ukunika ixesha lokuthetha nonyana wakho. Kodwa ke le ncoko mayibe yinto yakho kuphela kwisifundo sendlela okufanele ayenze ngayo. Ngoku uyazi indlela yokukhula indoda yangempela, kuba umsebenzi wakho ngowokuqala ukuva umntwana wakho, uqonde iimvakalelo zakhe uphendule yonke imibuzo yakhe. Ifom yeyona nto incoko yintetho, apho ukuphindaphinda akukona nje uhlobo. Kubalulekile ukuba incoko inentsingiselo, inomdla kuwe nomntwana. Emva koko ukunyaniseka kwintsebenziswano kuya kuba yinto ekhuthaza kakhulu ukuphuhliswa kweempawu zobuntu kwinkwenkwe yakho.