Siqala ukukhala, sithetha kakubi kwizihlobo zethu ezisondeleyo, siqale ukuzithukuthelisa. Ngaloo mzuzwana, lixesha lokucinga yonke into kunye nokutshabalalisa ukudandatheka kwethu. Siza kunika iingcebiso malunga nendlela yokunqoba ukuxinezeleka kwaye sikuxelele ngeendlela eziliqela zokuqinisa imizwa.
1. Ufuna ukufumanisa ukuba uxinzelelo lwakho luhlobene njani.
Ukuze sinqobe ukudandatheka esiyidingayo ukuba sibone umthombo wayo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, imbangela yoxinzelelo ingaba ukukhathala okuqhelekileyo. Ngaba kufuneka ukhumbule ukuba iinyanga ezidlulileyo zobomi bakho zifana nani? Ukuba usebenze ixesha elide kwimisebenzi emininzi, kwiingxaki ezixazululwayo kunye nezifundo zakho kwaye ube nexesha lokuhleba kunye neentombi zakho, ngoko ukudakumba kwakho kukugxeka ukukhathala. Zama ukucinga ngezizathu zokudakumba kwaye ungesabi ukuvuma. Akunakuze uphelelwe kwaye ukhumbule ukuba ukudakumba okungenangqondo akunakwenzeka.
2. Kufuneka ufike ngecebo lokunqoba ukucindezeleka.
Uxinzelelo luya kwenzeka xa unengxaki. Emva kokudandatheka, ulala embhedeni, uphuke kwiinyembezi ezibuhlungu, okanye uqale ukubetha izitya. Ngakolunye uhlangothi kulungile, wena okwexeshana uphonsa iimvakalelo zakho uze uhlale phantsi. Unokwazi ukuthetha ngokuthula nabantu, kodwa kufuneka uqale ukuphuhlisa isicwangciso sakho sokunqoba uxinzelelo. Ekubeni akukho siqinisekiso sokuba ayiyi kubuya kuwe kwakhona.
Yenza uluhlu lweengxaki zakho kunye nolwehlu, yonke into engakufanelekanga nento ongathanda ukuyitshintsha ebomini bakho. Zama ukunamathela kwesi sicwangciso kwaye ungesabi ukuguqula ubomi bakho.
3. Akufanele uhlale, kodwa wenze.
Emva kokuba uzibeke umgomo, kufuneka ufezekise oko ufuna. Yenza imihla ngemihla uze ucinge ngako konke okukufunayo kangako njengoko kubonakala ekuqalekeni? Cinga, ngaba ufuna abo bahlobo abakujikelezile? Mhlawumbi a bahlobo bakho bo kwenene na? Mhlawumbi ufanele ucinge ngokufumana abahlobo abatsha? Ukuba iingxaki zakho zihambelana nomntu wakho, mhlawumbi kukufanele uqikelele kwaye uzikhethele ukuba akayinto enhle kwaye awuzange ube ngumtshato odibeneyo? Lahla zonke izinto ezingadingekile kumagxa akho ezikujikelezile. Yaye uya kuqaphela ukuba ubomi bakho bunjani, kwaye indlela yakho yokuziphatha iyatshintsha kuphela ukuphucula nokudandatheka kude nawe. Ungesabi ukutshintsha ubomi bakho, kuya kukunceda kuphela.
4. Kufuneka uhlaziye.
Sikunike imizekelo embalwa nje, kunye noko, mhlawumbi, ukuxinezeleka kwakho. Kodwa i-algorithm yokujongana nokudandatheka ayiguqukiyo: qonda izizathu zokudakumba, phuhlisa isicwangciso sezenzo zakho kwaye wenze. Ngokutshintsha ubomi bakho kunye nawe, uya kuziva ukuba unamandla ngakumbi kwaye unamandla. Yaye wena ngokwakho awuyi kuqaphela ukuba unqobe uxinzelelo kwaye womeleza imizwa yakho.
Nazi ezinye iindlela zokuqinisa iintliziyo zakho.
1. Zama ukubeka umyalelo ekhaya ngokuqhelekileyo. Hlukanisa izinto zakho ezindala, iincwadi, kunye nemfucuza nje, oye waqokelela. Yonke into akudingeki uyilahle okanye isasaze.
2. Gcina ezo zinto ezikukhumbuza amaxesha amnandi. Fumana ibhokisi apho uya kufaka amakhadi, iileta, iifalesi zama-rose eziphathekayo. Yaye xa uvakalelwa kukuba udabukile ukuvula le bhokisi uze ukhumbule ixesha elihle ebomini bakho.
3. Fumana isilwanyana sakho. Izilwanyana zasendlwini zingakwazi ukuvelisa imisonto yakho yeentsuku zegreyi kwaye uzinciphe iingqondo zakho.
Ngoku uyazi ukunqoba uxinzelelo kunye neendlela eziliqela zokuqinisa iingxaki zakho, kukunceda ube nolonwabo kwaye uzinzile.