Indlela yokuphatha abantu ngokuchanekileyo?

Ulwalamano lwentsapho luhlala lukhuni, nangona kunqabileyo, ukuqonda kunye nothando kwabanye abantu, ngamanye amaxesha kukho iingxaki kunye nokungaqondani. Kodwa, nangona kunjalo, akuthethi ukuba naluphi na ubudlelwane obuya kutshabalalisa kwangaphambili, kukho izibini ezininzi kwihlabathi eliye lahlala, ixesha elide, nolonwabileyo lweentsapho. Ngoko yintoni imfihlelo yale mibini?

Inyaniso yokuba bayayiqonda indlela yokuphatha ngayo, ukwenzela ukuba bangalahlekelwa uthando ngendlela yokuphila eyabelana ixesha elide.

Ukusuka ngasentla, umbuzo wendlela yokujongana namadoda, ukuze ulwalamano lwakho lwentsapho lugcine ixesha lokuphila. Masizame ukuqonda oku ngezantsi.

Ukuhlonipha, ukubambisana ngokuzinzileyo, ubudlelwane obude.
Xa sisebenzelana namadoda, ukuhlonipha kubaluleke ngakumbi kubomi bentsapho. Ngoko ke, ulwalamano lwakho lufanele lwakhiwe kulo mgaqo, kuba ngaphandle kwayo, bobabini ningeke nifumane ebudlelwaneni bokuzonwabisa. Kwaye kulo mzekelo akumele kubekho ulwahlulo ofumana oko, ukuba lufumene kangakanani kwaye ngubani ohlala ekhaya. Umbono ngamnye kufuneka ube luleke kumlingane.

Ukunyaniseka akuthethi ukulahleka.
Eli nqaku kwonyango lomyeni wakhe, lihambelana ngokuthe ngqo nomnye ongaphambili. Emva kwakho konke, kungakhathaliseki ukuba ulwalamano kunye nokuthobela ukuhlonipha, ngokukhawuleza okanye kamva, enye indlela okanye enye, kodwa kukho izibambano kunye nokungaqondani. Hayi kwinto yokuba wena okanye into engalunganga, musa nje ukuphikisa ukuba ngabantu abahlukileyo. Kodwa into encinci yezinto ezinomdla, oku akuyiyo inhlekelele, ukuba ayiyi kuphakamisa kwizinga. Kulula kakhulu ukwenza umyalelo omncinci, ukuba uqaphela ukuba umntu ubaluleke kakhulu. Ngoko ke, ukunyaniseka, ngokumalunga nendoda, kuyabamba indima ebalulekileyo, ngaphandle kokuba, ngokuqinisekileyo, sihamba kakhulu kunye naye, kwaye ayiyikhoboka lesigxina! Kuya kuba kubalulekile ukusho ukuba indoda kufuneka ihlehlise kunye nawe.

Ithemba alikho ukungakhathali, kodwa kuyimfuneko ebalulekileyo.

Njengoko uqeqesho lubonisa. Imibhangqwana, apho abantu banomona omkhulu komnye nomnye, njengomthetho, ayikwazi ukuba khona ixesha elide. Emva koko, ukulawula okupheleleyo kunye namaxesha angapheliyo omona, unokubulala ubuhlobo obunothando kakhulu kunokuba lube luchanekile kunokuba uthuli lubulala iintshontsho. Kakade, umona ufana. Kodwa njengesiqholo kunye nexesha elimnandi, ukuba uyongeza kancinci, linika isidlo into entsha kunye nefuthe lomnqweno, kodwa ukuba kuninzi, isidlo asinakudliwa. Ngoko ke, kubalulekile ukuphatha abantu ngendlela eyimfihlo. Musa ukubiza njalo kwaye ufumene apho ukhona, akufuneki ukuya kuyo zonke iintlanganiso zakhe nabahlobo kuyo nayiphi na imivalo. Ndikholelwe, ukuthembela kukukhusela ekukhohliseni kunye neengxaki, kungcono kunanoma yimuphi umona. Kule mhlathi, kunye nakweyokudlulileyo, kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba, kwicandelo lomntu, kufuneka ube nethemba kuwe.

Uncedo kunye nokuxhasa, enye yezinto ezisiseko zokusebenzisana nomlingane.

Amadoda ngokuqinisekileyo ayidalwa, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha akunakwenzeka ukucela uncedo okanye ukuvuma ubuthathaka babo. Nangona kunjalo, oku akuthethi ukuba abayidingi uncedo okanye inkxaso kuzo zonke. Nangona awukwazi ukwenza nantoni na izinto eziphathekayo, oku akuthethi ukuba awukwazi ukubanceda ngokuziphatha okanye ngeengcebiso. Emva kwakho konke, maxa wambi amagama okuvunywa okanye inkxaso angancedanga ngakumbi kunezibini zezandla eziqinileyo. Into eyona nto ukwazi ukuba kukuba ufuna ukunika uncedo kunye nenkxaso yakho ngobuchule kunye nokungabonakali. Kwindoda, uThixo akavumelani, akazange athathe oku njengento ebuthakathaka bakhe okanye ukungahambelani nantoni na.

Alukho uluhlu olupheleleyo lweengcebiso, malunga nendlela yokuphatha umntu, ukuze ulwalamano lwakho aluvunyelwe ukuhamba. Kodwa ke ndifuna ukongeza ukuba zonke ezi cebiso ezibinibini ezithandana ngokunyanisekileyo, kwaye zifuna ukuba kunye. Emva koko, le siseko, yedwa edwala apho isiseko saluphi na ubudlelwane lwakhiwa!