Ukujongana nokulahlekelwa kwaye uqhubeke
Sonke sidinga ixesha elincinci "lusizi". Emva kwakho konke, kungakhathaliseki ukuba sasihlala ixesha elingakanani nale mntu okanye loo mntu, satshale imali kuyo - satshale imali yethu, ixesha, sazama ukwenza into yalo. Kwaye ngokukhawuleza konke oku kuphelile.
Sidinga ixesha lokubeka ilahleko. Emva koko, kuloo mzuzwana nje wokwahlukana kunye ncinane emva koko, asicingi ukuba siqalise njani ulwalamano olutsha. Ngokuchasene noko, sithandwa kakhulu kwiinkalo eziphumayo esizicingayo kuphela. Kwaye ngakumbi - khumbula izinto ezilungileyo kuphela!
UNxibelelwano luya kuzalisa ukungabikho
Ekuqaleni, kuya kuba neinyembezi kunye neengxolo zexesha elithandekayo lokuthandana. Jonga ngokugqithiseleyo isibini "esinamava" -ukuthandana phakathi kobudlelwane babo, ngokuqinisekileyo, bukhoyo, kodwa kungekhona kwindlela okhoyo ngoku ulwalamano lwakho. Iimpawu ezintle kunye neentloni, ukunyamezela kunye nokudumisa - konke oku, kunjalo, kwaye kuya kuba kuzo zonke iindidi. Kodwa ngenxa yokuba "zincinci", eziyingxenye encinci yento ethile.
- Ubudlelwane bubambiswano.
Ngoko ke kulula, kwaye kulula ukujamelana nomvakalelo wokuthi "akukho mntu uya kuba ngcono kunalo mntu ebomini", kukunxibelelana okunceda. Oku akuthethi ukuba uya kuhamba ngezitrato kunye nombono "olambileyo" wentombazana enesizungu. Akukho imfuneko ukuqala ubudlelwane obunzulu (ngokukhawuleza emva kokutshatyalaliswa), kodwa emva kwexesha elifutshane "ngokwalo", lixesha lokuphuma kubantu.
Ukuthetha, ukudlala, ujonge uluntu. Kwaye ngoko akukho miphumo embi malunga "nanko, ngoku ndiyakulawula kwakhona ubudlelwane nomntu ongafanelekanga," musa ukuhlala nomntu oyedwa. Fumana inkampani efanelana nawe ngokwemfundo yemfundo, iimfuno, izinto ezithandwayo. Yenza umdlalo omtsha okanye uye kwiikhosi. Ukuba unomdla ekufotheni okanye ukuyila, ngokuqinisekileyo uya kunyanzelwa ukuba uphume, uye kwimiboniso kunye neentetho, tyelela iifriji, okanye khangela nje indawo ezithandekayo zokuphefumlelwa.
Emva kwexesha elifutshane unako utshintshe ububanzi bemisebenzi. Izakhono ezifumanekayo kuyo nayiphi na intsimi ziya kukunika ithuba lokuziva uzifunayo, kwaye nangona (ngeempumelelo ezithile kulo) -banjelwe. Umntu onelanelekileyo akenzi ukuqonda ngokufuna ngamandla ukuxabana ngokudala.
"I-Hook", apho sibambelela khona ngaphambili
Kulungile xa ubuhlobo buphela bubi. Kuzwakala ngathi ayikho nto, kodwa zama ukuqonda: kungcono ukuba ungahlali "ngabahlobo" ekuhlukaneni. Emva kwakho konke, emva kokufuna ukubuyisela ezinye izinto ezibalulekileyo ebomini bakho. Bahlobo? Ewe, baya kuqonda ukuba kutheni ungahambi kwisitya okanye ukubhukuda nabo. Kodwa ubudlelwane kunye ne "yangaphambili" abukwazi. Nangona usebenza kwindawo enye, kungekudala okanye kamva kwintsebenziswano ehlangeneyo (okanye, uThixo akavumelekanga, ishishini), iingxaki ziya kuqala.
Zingaphi emva kwamagama athi "masihlale sihlobo" into into efihliweyo! Sifuna ukuba singaphoswa ngokukhawuleza, umntu owayefuna ukukhutshwa kancane kancane ... Kodwa nangona ubuhlobo, ubudlelwane obusondeleyo buya kusekwa, ngokuqinisekileyo baya kuba "buhlungu" okanye into. Ngentsikelelo yobukrakra obukhethekileyo, obunokuthandwa kuphela ngabakwa-masochists abaziwayo (kunye nama-masochists).
Ukongeza, mhlawumbi ixesha elithile emva kokuhlukanisa ufumana ukulungelelaniswa kwangaphakathi kolwalamano olutsha, kwaye uya kuhlushwa ngumbuzo wokuba uqalise ngaphandle kokubhubhisa ubuhlobo obunziwe. Okanye ngokuphambene, i-ex yakho ingaqala ulwalamano olutsha, kwaye uya kugqiba apho ufanele ube khona - kwiindima zesibini okanye ezithathu.
Ukulungisa izigulane
Ngaphambi kokuba ucinge ngobudlelwane emva kokuhlukana, kuyakunceda ukuhlalutya indlela owazisa ngayo ubudlelwane bakho bangaphambili kwisigaba sokugqibela. Akukhona nje ngaye, "isikratshi kunye nesidlo," kodwa nangona ukuba umntu ngokwenene - kuwe, owakhetha i-scab ne-reptile. Ukuba awukwazi ukuhlangabezana nohlalutyo olunzulu lwezizathu kunye nemiphumo ngokwakho-fumana umhle, kodwa ungengomhlobo osondeleyo okanye umhlobo. Amantombazana ayathanda ukuba abe ngumthunzi "ngaye, malunga nentombazana", kwaye uya kufumana umphulaphuli onoyolo kunye neengcali ezizimeleyo.
Ukuba loo mhlobo akakho kwaye akalindelwe - musa ukukhangela kwiingcebiso zengqondo yengqondo okanye ye-psychotherapist. Aba bantu, ngakwelinye icala, banyanzelekile ukuba bangabonakali izimvo zabo, kodwa ngakunye uhlangothi, abaphoqelelwe ukuba baphulaphule kuphela umxhasi ngenxa yemisebenzi yabo, kodwa kunye ngokunyanisekileyo, ngokunyanisekileyo, bamchukumise kwiingcamango ezithile kunye nezigqibo malunga naye. Ngoko uza kufumana inzuzo ephindwe kabini - uya kuba neembono malunga nawe, ekhululekile kakhulu kuwe, kunye nexesha elifanayo-iphuzu lokuqala. Ukongezelela, xa usebenza kunye neengcali unokwenza ulungelelanise loo miba yobudlelwane obuyingozi kubo. Kodwa ngenxa yakho bayazi, bayingxenye yobomi bakho, kwaye kuphela umntu ovela ngaphandle owaziyo ulwalamano kunye nemizekelo unokukunyusela kwingcamango yokuba unokwakha ubuhlobo ngenye indlela.
Impumelelo nempumelelo
Inhlanhla kukufumana umntu ofanelekileyo, nangona emva kobudlelwane obude, obunzima kunye nokwahlula nzima. Yaye impumelelo kukukunikwa into oyifunayo kwangoku. Ngaba ufuna umntu ongayi kuphazamisana nomsebenzi kwinkampani? Ngaba ufuna umntu osapho onakekelayo othanda abantwana? Ukufumanisa oko kanye, "ukungena kumgomo" sele usuphumelele.
Inhlanhla kuwe!
Ukujongana nokulahlekelwa kwaye uqhubeke
Sonke sidinga ixesha elincinci "lusizi". Emva kwakho konke, kungakhathaliseki ukuba sasihlala ixesha elingakanani nale mntu okanye loo mntu, satshale imali kuyo - satshale imali yethu, ixesha, sazama ukwenza into yalo. Kwaye ngokukhawuleza konke oku kuphelile.
Sidinga ixesha lokubeka ilahleko. Emva koko, kuloo mzuzwana nje wokwahlukana kunye ncinane emva koko, asicingi ukuba siqalise njani ulwalamano olutsha. Ngokuchasene noko, sithandwa kakhulu kwiinkalo eziphumayo esizicingayo kuphela. Kwaye ngakumbi - khumbula izinto ezilungileyo kuphela!
UNxibelelwano luya kuzalisa ukungabikho
Ekuqaleni, kuya kuba neinyembezi kunye neengxolo zexesha elithandekayo lokuthandana. Jonga ngokugqithiseleyo isibini "esinamava" -ukuthandana phakathi kobudlelwane babo, ngokuqinisekileyo, bukhoyo, kodwa kungekhona kwindlela okhoyo ngoku ulwalamano lwakho. Iimpawu ezintle kunye neentloni, ukunyamezela kunye nokudumisa - konke oku, kunjalo, kwaye kuya kuba kuzo zonke iindidi. Kodwa ngenxa yokuba "zincinci", eziyingxenye encinci yento ethile.
Ubudlelwane bubambiswano.
Ngoko ke kulula, kwaye kulula ukujamelana nomvakalelo wokuthi "akukho mntu uya kuba ngcono kunalo mntu ebomini", kukunxibelelana okunceda. Oku akuthethi ukuba uya kuhamba ngezitrato kunye nombono "olambileyo" wentombazana enesizungu. Akukho imfuneko ukuqala ubudlelwane obunzulu (ngokukhawuleza emva kokutshatyalaliswa), kodwa emva kwexesha elifutshane "ngokwalo", lixesha lokuphuma kubantu.
Ukuthetha, ukudlala, ujonge uluntu. Kwaye ngoko akukho miphumo embi malunga "nanko, ngoku ndiyakulawula kwakhona ubudlelwane nomntu ongafanelekanga," musa ukuhlala nomntu oyedwa. Fumana inkampani efanelana nawe ngokwemfundo yemfundo, iimfuno, izinto ezithandwayo. Yenza umdlalo omtsha okanye uye kwiikhosi. Ukuba unomdla ekufotheni okanye ukuyila, ngokuqinisekileyo uya kunyanzelwa ukuba uphume, uye kwimiboniso kunye neentetho, tyelela iifriji, okanye khangela nje indawo ezithandekayo zokuphefumlelwa.
Emva kwexesha elifutshane unako utshintshe ububanzi bemisebenzi. Izakhono ezifumanekayo kuyo nayiphi na intsimi ziya kukunika ithuba lokuziva uzifunayo, kwaye nangona (ngeempumelelo ezithile kulo) -banjelwe. Umntu onelanelekileyo akenzi ukuqonda ngokufuna ngamandla ukuxabana ngokudala.
"I-Hook", apho sibambelela khona ngaphambili
Kulungile xa ubuhlobo buphela bubi. Kuzwakala ngathi ayikho nto, kodwa zama ukuqonda: kungcono ukuba ungahlali "ngabahlobo" ekuhlukaneni. Emva kwakho konke, emva kokufuna ukubuyisela ezinye izinto ezibalulekileyo ebomini bakho. Bahlobo? Ewe, baya kuqonda ukuba kutheni ungahambi kwisitya okanye ukubhukuda nabo. Kodwa ubudlelwane kunye ne "yangaphambili" abukwazi. Nangona usebenza kwindawo enye, kungekudala okanye kamva kwintsebenziswano ehlangeneyo (okanye, uThixo akavumelekanga, ishishini), iingxaki ziya kuqala.
Zingaphi emva kwamagama athi "masihlale sihlobo" into into efihliweyo! Sifuna ukuba singaphoswa ngokukhawuleza, umntu owayefuna ukukhutshwa kancane kancane ... Kodwa nangona ubuhlobo, ubudlelwane obusondeleyo buya kusekwa, ngokuqinisekileyo baya kuba "buhlungu" okanye into. Ngentsikelelo yobukrakra obukhethekileyo, obunokuthandwa kuphela ngabakwa-masochists abaziwayo (kunye nama-masochists).
Ukongeza, mhlawumbi ixesha elithile emva kokuhlukanisa ufumana ukulungelelaniswa kwangaphakathi kolwalamano olutsha, kwaye uya kuhlushwa ngumbuzo wokuba uqalise ngaphandle kokubhubhisa ubuhlobo obunziwe. Okanye ngokuphambene, i-ex yakho ingaqala ulwalamano olutsha, kwaye uya kugqiba apho ufanele ube khona - kwiindima zesibini okanye ezithathu.
Ukulungisa izigulane
Ngaphambi kokuba ucinge ngobudlelwane emva kokuhlukana, kuyakunceda ukuhlalutya indlela owazisa ngayo ubudlelwane bakho bangaphambili kwisigaba sokugqibela. Akukhona nje ngaye, "isikratshi kunye nesidlo," kodwa nangona ukuba umntu ngokwenene - kuwe, owakhetha i-scab ne-reptile. Ukuba awukwazi ukuhlangabezana nohlalutyo olunzulu lwezizathu kunye nemiphumo ngokwakho-fumana umhle, kodwa ungengomhlobo osondeleyo okanye umhlobo. Amantombazana ayathanda ukuba abe ngumthunzi "ngaye, malunga nentombazana", kwaye uya kufumana umphulaphuli onoyolo kunye neengcali ezizimeleyo.
Ukuba loo mhlobo akakho kwaye akalindelwe - musa ukukhangela kwiingcebiso zengqondo yengqondo okanye ye-psychotherapist. Aba bantu, ngakwelinye icala, banyanzelekile ukuba bangabonakali izimvo zabo, kodwa ngakunye uhlangothi, abaphoqelelwe ukuba baphulaphule kuphela umxhasi ngenxa yemisebenzi yabo, kodwa kunye ngokunyanisekileyo, ngokunyanisekileyo, bamchukumise kwiingcamango ezithile kunye nezigqibo malunga naye. Ngoko uza kufumana inzuzo ephindwe kabini - uya kuba neembono malunga nawe, ekhululekile kakhulu kuwe, kunye nexesha elifanayo-iphuzu lokuqala. Ukongezelela, xa usebenza kunye neengcali unokwenza ulungelelanise loo miba yobudlelwane obuyingozi kubo. Kodwa ngenxa yakho bayazi, bayingxenye yobomi bakho, kwaye kuphela umntu ovela ngaphandle owaziyo ulwalamano kunye nemizekelo unokukunyusela kwingcamango yokuba unokwakha ubuhlobo ngenye indlela.
Impumelelo nempumelelo
Inhlanhla kukufumana umntu ofanelekileyo, nangona emva kobudlelwane obude, obunzima kunye nokwahlula nzima. Yaye impumelelo kukukunikwa into oyifunayo kwangoku. Ngaba ufuna umntu ongayi kuphazamisana nomsebenzi kwinkampani? Ngaba ufuna umntu osapho onakekelayo othanda abantwana? Ukufumanisa oko kanye, "ukungena kumgomo" sele usuphumelele.
Inhlanhla kuwe!