Indlela yokuxelela umntwana malunga nokufa komntu othandekayo

Ukuxelela umntwana ngeentlekele kwintsapho akuyona umthwalo onzima kumntu ozama ukuzisa iindaba ezibuhlungu kumntwana. Abanye abantu abadala bafuna ukukhusela abantwana kwiintlungu, bezama ukufihla okwenzekayo.

Oku akunjalo. Intsana iya kuqaphela into efanayo ukuba kwenzeka into embi: into eyenzekayo endlwini, abantu abadala bayamemeza kunye nokukhala, utata (umama, udade) uphelile kwindawo ethile. Kodwa, ebudeni bobuhlungu, ubeka ingozi ekufumaneni iingxaki zeengqondo ngaphezu kwelo phulo liza kuzisa.

Makhe sicinge ngendlela yokuxelela umntwana ngokufa komntu othandekayo?

Kubalulekile ngexesha lexubusho elibuhlungu ukuchukumisa umntwana - umxube, umbeke ngamadolo okanye uthathe isandla sakhe. Ukuba uthintana nomntu omdala, inkunzi yebhola kwinqanaba lemvelo liziva likhuselekile ngakumbi. Ngoko unciphisa umphumo omncinci kwaye uncede akwazi ukujamelana nokutshatyalaliswa kokuqala.

Ukuthetha nomntwana ngokufa, makube ngokoqobo. Yiba nesibindi sokuthi amagama "afe", "ukufa", "umngcwabo." Abantwana, ngokukodwa kwiminyaka yobudala, baqonde oko bakuva kubantu abadala. Ngoko, ekuva ukuba "ugogo sele elele ngonaphakade" inkunzi iyakwazi ukulala, yoyika, ngokungathi akukho nto yenzeke efanayo, njengaye ugogo.

Abantwana abancinci abasoloko beqonda ukungahambi, ukuphela kokufa. Ukongezelela, kukho indlela yokukhanyela ephawulekayo kubo bonke abantu ekuhluphekeni. Ngoko ke, kunokuba kunokwenzeka ngamaxesha amaninzi (nangona emva komngcwabo uphelile) ukucacisa ukuba umntu oshonile akayi kuphinda abuyele kuye. Ngoko ke, kufuneka ucinge kwangaphambili, ngoko, ukuxelela umntwana malunga nokufa komntu othandekayo.

Ngokuqinisekileyo, umntwana uya kubuza imibuzo ehlukahlukeneyo malunga noko kuya kwenzeka kumntu othandekayo emva kokufa nangemva kokungcwaba. Kubalulekile ukuxelela ukuba umntu oshonile akaxhatshazwa yizinto eziphazamisayo zomhlaba: akabi kubanda, akenzi buhlungu. Akaphazamiseki ngokungabikho kokukhanya, ukutya kunye nomoya ebhokisini phantsi komhlaba. Emva koko, kusele umzimba wakhe kuphela, ongasasebenzi. "Kwaphuka", kangangokuba "ukulungiswa" akunakwenzeka. Kufuneka kugxininiswe ukuba abaninzi abantu bayakwazi ukujamelana nezifo, ukulimala, njl, nokuhlala iminyaka emininzi.

Xelela oko kwenzeka kumphefumlo womntu emva kokufa, ngokusekelwe kwiinkolelo zonqulo eziye zamkelwe kwintsapho yakho. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, akusayi kubakho ukufuna iingcebiso kumfundisi: uya kunceda ufumane amagama afanelekileyo.

Kubalulekile ukuba izalamane ezibandakanyekile ekulungiseni ukulila ungakulibali ukunika ixesha elincinci. Ukuba umntwana uziphatha ngokuthula kwaye engakhathazeki ngemibuzo, oku akuthethi ukuba uyayiqonda ngokufanelekileyo into eyenzekayo kwaye akayidingi ingqalelo kwiintsapho. Hlala ecaleni kwakhe, qaphela ngokucacileyo ukuba uluphi uhlobo. Mhlawumbi ufuna ukukhala kuwe ehlombe, mhlawumbi - ukudlala. Ungamangaleli umntwana ukuba ufuna ukudlala nokuqhuba. Kodwa, ukuba umntwana ufuna ukukukhangela kumdlalo, cacisa ukuba ucaphukile, kwaye namhlanje awuyi kuhamba naye.

Musa ukuxelela umntwana ukuba akafanele akhale aze athukuthele, okanye ukuba umntu ofileyo angathanda ukuba aziphathe ngendlela ethile (wayidla kakuhle, wenza izifundo, njl njl.) - inkunzi inokufumana isohlwayo ngenxa yokungabikho kwimeko yakhe yangaphakathi zakho neemfuno.

Zama ukugcina umntwana kwisiganeko esiqhelekileyo sosuku - izinto eziqhelekileyo zizolalisa abantu abadala: ubuhlungu - ngeengxaki, kwaye ubomi buqhubeka. Ukuba umntwana akanakucinga, mququze ukuba ahlele iziganeko ezizayo: umzekelo, unokunika uncedo olunokwenzeka ekukhonzeni itafile yomngcwabo.

Kukholelwa ukuba ukususela kwiminyaka engama-2.5 umntwana uyakwazi ukuqonda intsingiselo yomngcwabo kwaye athathe inxaxheba ekuhlukaneni nomfi. Kodwa, ukuba akafuni ukuba khona emngcwabeni - kungakhathaliseki ukuba yintoni enyanzelekile okanye enyanyeke ngayo. Tshela umntwana malunga noko kuza kwenzeka khona: ugogo uya kufakwa ebhokisini, edibene emgodini kwaye ehlanganiswe nomhlaba. Kwaye entwasahlobo siya kufaka isikhumbuzo apho, sityalo iintyatyambo, kwaye siza kumtyelela. Mhlawumbi, ngokuzicacisa oko kwenzeka ngokwenene kumngcwabo, umntwana uya kutshintsha isimo sakhe sengqondo kwinkqubo edabukileyo kwaye uya kufuna ukuthatha inxaxheba kuyo.

Nika umntwana ukuba athi intlekele kuye. Cacisa indlela okufanele yenziwe ngayo ngokwesiko. Ukuba umntwana akaqapheli ukuthintela oshonile - musa ukumgxeka. Unokuza kunye nesithethe esikhethekileyo sokugqiba ubudlelwane bomntwana kunye nomfele osweleyo - umzekelo, cwangcisa ukuba umntwana uza kufaka umfanekiso okanye ileta ebhokisini, apho aya kubhala ngeemvakalelo zakhe.

Kwimngcwabo nomntwana kufuneka abe ngumntu osondeleyo - kufuneka umntu alungiselele ukuba uya kufuna inkxaso kunye nokuthuthuzela; kwaye unokulahlekelwa ngumdla kwizinto ezenzekayo, oku kuphuhliso oluqhelekileyo lweziganeko. Kukho nawuphi na, makabekho umntu osondeleyo onokushiya umntwana kwaye angathathi nxaxheba ekupheleni kwesithethe.

Unganqikazi ukubonisa uphawu lwakho nokukhala kubantwana. Chaza ukuba uhlungu kakhulu ngenxa yokufa komntu ongowokuzalwa, kwaye uyamkhumbula kakhulu. Kodwa, kunjalo, abantu abadala kufuneka bahlale bezandleni baze baphephe ukuhlambalaza ukwenzela ukuba bangayesabi umntwana.

Emva komngcwabo, khumbula kunye nomntwana malunga nelungu losapho elifile. Oku kuya kunceda kwakhona "usebenze", qaphela oko kwenzekayo kwaye uyamkele. Xoxa ngeemeko ezimnandi: "Uyakhumbula indlela ohamba ngayo ngokuloba kunye noyise omkhulu kwiphetyana, wabuya ekhwela ingqungquthela ye-snag, kwaye kwafuneka akhuphuke emanzini!", "Uyakhumbula indlela uTata aqokele ngayo kwi-kindergarten kunye ne-pantyhose ngasemva uyibeke ngaphambili? " Ukuhleka kunceda ukuguqula intlungu ibe buhlungu.

Ngokuqhelekileyo kwenzeka ukuba umntwana olahlekelwe ngumnye wabazali bakhe, umzalwana okanye omnye umntu obalulekileyo kuye, ufumana ukwesaba ukuba malunga nawaphi na alamane asele aya kufa. Okanye yena ngokwakhe uya kufa. Musa ukuthuthuzela ithogwana ngamanga ngamabomu: "Andiyi kuze ndize ndize ndibe kunye nawe." Ndixelele ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba bonke abantu baya kufa ngelinye ilanga kwixesha elizayo. Kodwa uya kufa kakhulu, endala kakhulu xa sele esenabantwana abaninzi kunye nabazukulu kwaye uya kuba nomntu omnyamekelayo.

Kwintsapho ehluphekileyo, akuyimfuneko ukuba abantu basekuhlaleni bafihle intlungu yabo. Sifanele 'sitshise' kunye, siphila ekulahlekelweni, sisekelane. Khumbula - intlungu ayihlali. Ngoku ukhale, uze upheke ukudla, ufundise nomntwana wakho-ubomi buqhubeka.