Abantu abaninzi bacinga ukuba umfazi oqinileyo akayidingi imfesane kunye nokunyamekela. Enyanisweni, oku akunjalo. Kwakhona ufuna ukufumana uthando, akavumelanga ukuba aphumle. Ngoko ke, akakwazi ukubonakalisa iimvakalelo kumfana kwaye enze njengowesifazane owaziyo ukwenza oko, ngokugqithiseleyo ukudlala ngothando kunye nokukhohlisa.
Umbuzo wukuthi umfazi oqinileyo unokufumana uthando lwakhe, iintlungu ezininzi zamasetyhini ezisetyenziselwa ukuhamba ubomi bodwa, kodwa abafuni ukuba oku kwenzeke ngonaphakade. Ngoko, sinokuqiniseka njani ukuba uthando oluqinileyo lwaloo mantombazana luhlangeneyo.
Ewe, kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba uthando lwabo luhlala lubomelele. La mabhinqa akacingi nantoni na. Ngoko ke, ukuba bayayithanda ngokwenene, bayayithanda ngokuphangayo nangentliziyo yabo yonke. Kodwa lo thando, ngesizathu esithile, aluhlali lubonwa ngabantu. Yintoni engalunganga ngalo mfazi kunye nendlela yokulungisa? Okokuqala, intombazana enjalo ayikwazi ukuvumela umntu ukuba abe ngumntu wokwenene. Akenzanga ngenjongo. Kuphela intombazana enamandla yayisetyenziselwa ukuxazulula zonke iingxaki ngokwayo. Akalindelanga loo mntu ukuba afumane ixesha kwaye anqwenele ukwenza into kuye. Nangona efuna kwaye enethuba lokwenza into ethile, loo ntokazi sele sele engayiboni. Akazami ukufumana ixesha lokunceda iqabane lakhe. Le ntombi iyazi ukuba iya kwenza konke okusemandleni akhe. Ngokuqinisekileyo, ngeendlela ezininzi ulungile, kuphela amadoda ayithandi oku. Bafuna ukuba ngamagosa kunye nabasindisi. Yaye xa intombazana engayidingi loo nto, bayesabisa kwaye bayashukunyiswa yinto enjalo. Ivelisa ukuthotywa kobunzima kubantu. Ngako oko, abafana bayazi ngokungazi kwaye baqaphele ukuba baphephe intombazana enjalo. Abafuni umfazi ozayo kubo ukuba benze konke kubo kwaye bangcono kunabo. Ukuba lo mntu unelisekile ngokupheleleyo le meko yezemicimbi, akukho nto intle kule ndawo. Inokwenzeka ukuba, le nsizwa nguAlphonse kunye ne-rag. Uyayithanda xa intombi iyanamnyamekela kwaye ixazulula zonke iingxaki. Akukho nto yokwakha ubudlelwane kunye namadoda anjalo kuba bawasebenzisa nje abafazi abanamandla.
Ukuze ufumane uthando nomntu oqhelekileyo, umfazi kufuneka akhumbule ukuba ubuthathaka kwaye usengozini. Musa ukuyeka ukugibela amahashe kwaye uhambe kwiindawo zokutshisa. Le yimiba yabafana kunye kuphela. Intombazana imele ifanele imkele ukuziphatha kwayo kunye nokuzenza ukuba ayizange iphumelele ngaphandle koncedwa ngumntu.
Enye ingxaki yabasetyhini abanamandla - bahlala bethatha isinyathelo sokuqala. Abafazi abanjalo ababuhlungu ngenxa yeemvakalelo, kodwa benza nje oko bafuna. Kodwa, ngelishwa, oku akusoloko kukhokelela ekupheleni. Ngokuqhelekileyo, kwintsebenzo yonke into eyenzeka ngenye indlela. Ukuba intombazana yokuqala ibiza kwaye ibhale, owokuqala uvuma ngothando kwaye ucacisa ukuqala ukudibana, indoda, kwakhona, ivakalelwe. Unengcamango yokuba yonke into iyagqitywa ngaye. Kwaye aba bantu bathandi kakhulu. Yingakho bahlaziya aba bafazi kwaye bazame ukuhlakulela ubudlelwane nabo. Ngokuqhelekileyo kwindoda enamandla, abafana abayiboni intombazana, kodwa ngumhlobo. Ngelishwa, abafazi ngokwabo bawaxhaphaza kwiingcinga ezinjalo. Baziphatha njengokuba abantu besenza njalo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, abasetyhini abaqinileyo bayazi ukusela, banokufunga ngeqabane, baxubushe ngamantombazana osisidenge, ungathandi ukuthetha ngeengubo kunye neziqhumiso. Bahlala bethetha yonke into efanelekileyo ebusweni kwaye abaxhalabele ngokukodwa ngengqondo yomntu. Ngendlela, into yokuba loo nto mbazana ayigxininiswa yimpahla ayithethi ukuba awaziyo ukukhetha izinto ezintle kwaye agqoke kakuhle. Kuphela nje ukuba abafazi abanjalo abazange bathethe ngale nto rhoqo, abafaki ukubonakala kwabo entloko yento yonke.
Ezi ntombazana "zihlobo" kunye "nabazalwana". Ngabo unako ukusela ubhiya, xubusha amantombazana kwaye ungakhathazeki ukuba le ntokazi ayiyi kuqonda. Kodwa ke ukuqonda okukhokelela ekubeni intombazana ayisayi kubona into yokuba uvelwano. Uba ngumntu wakhe kwaye lo mboniso unzima kakhulu ukuwuqonda. Ngoko ke, ukuba umfazi oqinileyo uyacaphukiswa yinto yokuba abafana bamphatha njengomntakwabo, kufuneka afunde ukusabela kwizinto ezithile ezifana nentombazana. Ngokuqinisekileyo, akufanele udlale imidlalo kwaye uphukiswe ngawo onke amagama. Kodwa, akufuneki ukuhleka ngokukhawuleza ngamahlaya, intombazana ehlazo, uhlala uthetha malunga nokuba abafazi abanalo ubuchopho, kwaye kuphela amadoda aqhelekileyo ayaqonda yonke into, kwaye zibiza ngokuba ngumfana. Ukuba le ntombazana ayinayo ibhinqa, baya kumnqula njengomhlobo, kodwa abayi kuze bambone njengokuba ngumfazi. Ngenxa yokuba ukutshata nomhlobo wakho kulungile kwaye akuqhelekanga. Ngaloo ndlela, ezi ngcamango zihleli kwiingcaphephe zabantu abaselula. Kungenxa yoko, xa usebenzisana nabantu abancinci, umfazi kufuneka azinqande kwaye angazivumeli ukuba azigqibelele zonke izinto aze aziphathe njengabafana. Ewe, okokuqala kuya kuba nzima, kodwa, ngexesha, umntu ngamnye uyayifumana kwaye sele engaboni oko bekusoloko kulawulwa. Ngendlela, xa kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba akukho namnye obangela ukuba abafazi abanamandla bakwazi ukuziguqula okanye bagqoke imaski. Kalula, kuyimfuneko ukufunda ukuqonda apho ungabonisa khona amandla akho, kwaye apho-ubuthathaka. Ladies ngokwemvelo izuzwe intuition, efuna kuphela ukufunda indlela yokusebenzisa. Ukuba uqaphele kwaye uziphulaphule, ubukele abantu, unako ukuqonda ukuba yeyiphi na into ofuna ukubonisa ubuthathaka kunye nobubele, kwaye xa kulungile ukukhumbula amandla akho obunjani kunye nokunyamezela.
Amadoda ayabathanda abo abanokubenza balwe kwaye banqobe, kodwa abayi kuphelelwa yinkxalabo kwaye baya kukwazi ukuzikhusela kwiinkathazo ezininzi ngobulumko kunye nothando lwabo. Amandla kunye nobuthathaka, ubukhulu kunye nobuntombi, ukuzola kunye nokuvakalelwa kufuneka kuhambelane ngokufanayo kumfazi. Ukuba kukho into elahlekileyo, abafana bayayiva kwaye ipesenti aza kuthanda ngayo intombazana leyo iyancinci kwaye incinci. Yingakho ibhinqa eliqinileyo lifuna ukufumana amandla kunye nobulumko phakathi kwayo ukuze ifunde indlela yokubuthathaka kunye nolwasemzini, njengalowo nawuphi na umntu oyinyani ufuna.